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 No.220[Last 50 Posts]

The door was…

 No.221

…embedded into the cold war-era concrete like an inflamed boil. The glowering portal was all pitted steel curves and rust-speckled plates, as cold and Soviet as the grim-faced men who'd commissioned it. I readied my…

 No.222

…Eurasian slave and told him to get ready to breech the cold world which might just lay on the other side. Whether it be riches or death behind the door I would let Zekariah be the first to find out…

 No.223

Patting him one last time on the head, and kissing his pert buttocks, I gave a hefty shove. Six seconds, then a hearty crack and a shrill yelp. He must have fallen four/five storeys down that dank shaft. Now I knew. "How are you doing down there, old boy?" I called out…

 No.224

But I heard only silence in reply. I stood there staring down the shaft for what felt like hours until I suddenly heard a loud cacophony of what sounded like a thousand different voices, all screeching the same phrase…

 No.225

"Dup" They chanted. "Dup". Over and over again. What could it mean? The sound was maddening. Well, this is what they signed you up for, old man. No turning back now. I secured my climbing ropes, and descended into the abyss…

 No.226

My cock was so hard it felt like my boner had a boner and it was leaking precum like a tranny stimulated prostate. I felt pretty.

 No.227

In, out, retrieve the materials. That was the deal. Then a complete pardon from the Crown for my boy molesting misadventures in the Orient. A simple enough task, I had thought, though now…

 No.228

I faltered. Even amidst my state of perpetual arousal, excited by that young Eurasian tiger's leather clad buttocks, I, sir Reginald Alexander Mosley, first Englishman on Jupiter, champion of the oxygen wars, and notorious sexual predator, felt a fear come over me. Such a fear I had not felt since…

 No.229

the time I was knotted by a labradoodle named Zach. Still fear is the mind killer after all and this hole wasn't going to enter itself.

 No.230

Which is what I had said to those boys in Burma. Haha! Anyhow, by this point I had abseiled about half way down the shaft and…

 No.231

I had worked up quite a sweat. So I reached into my Nike backpack and retrieved a still cool, thanks to my Thermos backpack cooler pad, bottle of evian®. I took 3 sips and placed the bottle into the far right portion of my backpack next to my salami and rye sandwich, a map of Burma, a Bad Dragon sex toy, a copy of Milk and Honey, a SanDisk® usb stick with 32gb of memory, a popper, a signed picture of Queen Elizabeth II and my iPhone 9, which I usually kept on my person but found the elegant design bulged distractingly in my Calvin Klein Bermuda shorts…

 No.232

I slid the rest of the way down the rope until my feet hit cold bottom. Zekariah's cold bottom, in fact. He lay, stiff and blue. Curious wounds resembling bite marks all about his supple body. Turning him over, I found his face contorted in a vision of terror, and four letters carved into the delicate flesh of his chest and belly. "BTFO". What could they mean? I shed a single tear for the lost beauty, checked the revolver at my hip, and turned to investigate the chamber…

 No.233

Inside was a nigger, niggerly niggering around as niggers do. He niggered over to me with his nigger form and nigger moves opening his fat nigger lips revealing a drooping nigger accent and salivating nigger tongue. "Nigger" I thought, after which I said, "NIGGER!" at this filthy stinking nigger standing before me. The nigger looked shocked. Nigger tears welled up in his bugged out nigger eyes revealing the knowing of his inescapable nigger identity. I considered putting down this nigger dog and raised my gun to his nappy nigger head and then…

 No.243

the foul apparition simply vanished. I shrugged, then proceeded to remove all of my clothing, and bounded gleefully into the welcoming darkness. Free as a bird. Horny as a dog. Something called to me.

Chapter 2
In the Orifice of Madness

 No.244

>>231
Michael, is that you?

 No.245

I'm not sure why I said that. Something was metaphorically not literally calling me. Anyway Michaela had died years ago due to constipation complications zhe developed on the carnivore diet.

 No.246

Ate a bad batch of space monkey soup while stationed in the jungles of Mars, during the Neo-Zulu uprising, terrible business. The parasites grew to the size of guinea pigs and ate the little fuck nugget from the inside out. All they found was thon's boots and skid-marked boxer briefs.

 No.247

As I walked into the Orifice of Madness I encountered a kike, kikely kikeing around as kikes do. He kiked over to me with his jew form and heeb moves flaring the kikel shaped nostrils on his hooked heeb nose. "Kike" I thought, after which I said, "KIKE!" at this filthy rat jew standing before me. The kike looked shocked. Crocodile tears welled up in his beady kike eyes revealing the scheming cowardice of the jewish identity. I considered shoving the kike into an oven and raised my Mauser C96 pistol at his lizard brain and then…

 No.248

in a flash I was in Barbados!

 No.249

And just as suddenly I was back in the Orifice. That was quite the trip I thought to myself. Reminds me of the time me and the Prophet Muhammad went to…

 No.250

Burger King

 No.251

It had all started peacefully enough. We had entered the Burger King, arm in arm, chatting gaily, appreciating the decor and fine carpeted floors. The greater had lead us to our table, where we had placed our order and sat a while discussing the prosperity of the eternal British mega empire. The first course was served. French cut potato chips, lightly salted with a garnish of tomato pate. Delightful. The prophet and I readily devoured the entree, while sipping on the finest Pepsi cola, and trading amusing anecdotes. However when the second course of Hamburg steak ensemble with pork accessories arrived, something had changed in the prophet's expression…

 No.252

Muhammed flipped out upon seeing the pork flaps slung haram across the bread. I however calmed him down by assuring him that it was in fact a nine year old girl's labia resting on the burger and not pork. Muhammed calmed down upon hearing this, certain a sin had been avoided. I quietly began to question my companionship with this brown towel-head and excused myself to go to the bathroom…

 No.253

On my way to the cubicle I passed a curious man. Skin dark as coal, dressed in an embroidered robe featuring designs of implacable cultural origin. He shot me a wink and his features contorted into a wry smile, irradiating predatory intent. I tell you, little phases a man such as myself, but this individual, there was something about him that chilled me to the core. As he past me by, I caught a waft of something like sage and perhaps burnt cinnamon, and in just a moment he was gone from my sight. I caught my breath and gathered myself together, then strode into the toilet cubicle to relieve myself, and there I saw it. Floating in the bowl. Pitch black and menacing, as if daring me to try to flush. It's darkness seemed to reach out to something inside of me, not unlike the ancient tunnels my naked and wobbling form now flew through with ecstatic glee

 No.257

Inside the toilet was a faggot, fagily fagging around as faggots do. He fagged over to me with is queer form and homo movies flapping his sodomite wrists effeminately. "Faggot" I thought, after which I said, "FAGGOT!" at this filth fudge packing faggot standing before me. The faggot looked shocked. Faggot tears welled up in his gay eyes revealing the sissy nature of the faggot identity. I considered lighting the faggot on fire like Sodom & Gomorrah and raised my Zippo™ lighter at his faggot hair…

 No.258

I may have forgotten to take my schizophrenia medication that morning.

 No.259

>>258
After checking my pillbox guess what walked into the room? A niggerfaggotkike apeishly prancing around and rubbing his hands as abominations do. He bix n00ded over to me with his GRIDS form and subversive moves counting his shekels greedily. "Niggerfaggotkike" I thought, after which I said, "NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE!" at this gay black and jewish chimera standing before me. The niggerfaggotkike looked shocked. AIDS tainted tears welled up in his gorilla face wich peaked out between curly sidelocks revealing his beastly twisting talmudic identity. I considered nuking the terror right there and hovered my finger over the launch button…

 No.261

I stopped reading at that point. I guess it was funnier in my head and seeing it written down like that made me realize it was just gay and not based at all. I added an ellipsis to the end of my sentence and pressed reply…

 No.262

So anyway, I was in this cave, right

 No.263

Chapter 3
Deeper into the Orifice

My mind had gone mad it seemed. Perhaps this trip had been a mistake. How long had I been pursuing the folly? Little did I know that I would soon have more answers than questions answered, basically I didn't yet know that I would have an abundance of answers but when I did know then I would have them and this would be a question as to how I had so many but that too would be answered.

 No.264

>>263
Chapter 4
NIGGERS
NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER 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NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER

 No.265

It went. On and on that obscenity in my head, pulling me down toward the base and the bestial. Threatening to make me a frothing, gibbering imbecile, trapped in these tunnels for all eternity, stripped of all sanity and civility, screaming and fighting with shadows

 No.266

>>265
Chapter 5
KIKES
KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE 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KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE 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KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE

 No.267

The phantoms that assaulted me from the shadows were tediously lacking in wit or creativity. I pulled out my Nokia 3210 and started up a game of Snake

 No.268

Chapter 6
FAGGOTS
FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT

 No.269

With the mouth breather filtered I went back to exploring this cavern and wondering where my Eurasian slave could've gotten to… Then I heard a slow slurping sound that seemed to emanate from the very bowels of hell. It grew in intensity until there was a loud pop that seemed to vibrate the very air around me. He had to be close.

 No.270

>>269
It was a…
NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE
NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE 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NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE

 No.273

And sure enough he came to a chorus of Dup chants. "Why hello old chum" he said between gasps of breath. "Why didn't you answer me before?" "Oh I was occupied you see" "No I'm afraid I don't" "Don't be like that" "Like what" "Like that" We continued in this fashion for a few minutes until I struck him in his fat fleshy face and got back to my mission.

 No.275

CHAPTER 7
THE ETERNAL JANOID


JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY

 No.276

Chapter 4
Enter the Dupgeon

Down the passage to my left I saw an orange glowing light. A shudder passed through me at that moment but I sensed my destiny lay on this path. Cautiously I picked my way through the darkness and when I had come within some 20m of the light I could make out that the illumination was actually a diffuse reflection of a light source in some adjacent chamber. I cast my mind back to the chants I had heard earlier and

 No.277

readied myself for a meeting of whatever may lie beyond. Wishing I'd had my pistol with me now, which I had cast aside with all of my clothing and equipment amid that flourish of madness. Well, a man such as myself didn't conquer half of the solar system, and the orphanages of Bangkok, by not being able to handle his fists. Though I was suddenly quite self conscious of my shrivelled Lancashire sausage that bobbed to and fro, exposed to the elements. I pushed ahead into the illuminated chamber…

 No.280

>>277
The lights dimmed as I entered. The darkness grew when I stepped forward and retreated when I stepped back. I couldn't find what mechanism controlled it but it didn't feel natural. The darkness in the chamber felt meaty in a way the darkness outside didn't. One last false hope before you realized the Oasis was a mirage all along. Taking a lighter from my pocket I held it in front of my face, finally glad I kept smoking cigs instead of a vape.

 No.282

BRAAAP
I farted. Then from the darkness a response,
BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP

 No.285

Also, when I say pocket I mean the one I had surgically implanted behind my testicles so I could tickle my prostate

 No.290

but my prostate was not tickled now. In fact it was shriveled and trembling in terror at the stench which assaulted my nostrils. But before I could consciously react to the smell the lighter's flame exploded into the chamber revealing the most monstrous abomination I have ever beheld. The corpulent creature before me must've weighed a ton. Its skin was as black as night and each of its terrible breaths caused its body to quiver like a giant gelatin worm revealing countless fungal colonies within its fleshy folds.

 No.291

Perhaps hundreds of the hooded figures from my vision of the Burger King toilets were knelt down around the thing as if in prayer. As the monstrosity exhaled, the crowd inhaled in unison. In religious ecstasy they chanted. "DUP! DUP!"

 No.301

>>291
I shouted a reply I once heard my Eurasian slave mutter in his twisted dreams. "B-B-BTFO!!!!!!!!" but the chanting didn't stop "DUP,DUP,DUP…" again I mustered all of my courage and even louder yelled "BTFO!" I never understood what the acronym meant perhaps Bravely Tries Fornicating Orifices? Anyways the chamber quieted and a 300 pound Ogre stared at me with admonition…

 No.302

It was the Tyrant himself, Gahoolebachev of the Soviet Remnant. Dressed in the same robes as the rest of the crowd. His eyes glassy and seemingly unaware

 No.303

>>302
…This is my moment and I did not even realize it. The bipolar shitskin I met in that Japanese gangway had been very adamant to promote this ogre. "Catch bachev fucking ogre they follow me I am depressed but my queen I leave!" I chuckled to my self before whispering one last BTFO and pondered what I should do next…

 No.304

The items it was my task to retrieve should be in possession of the breakaway soviets, though looking at the ogre's form, clad in little but a poorly fitting robe, he didn't seem to be in possession of much, least of which his sanity. What had the Ruskies happened upon down here? Well, no time to worry about that now. The great beast lumbered toward me, frothing at the mouth, and babbling incomprehensible nothings. I tucked my penis between my legs, and readied myself for fisticuffs.

 No.306

ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING

 No.307

the ogre stung me with his wicked zingers. I retorted with a wollop to the bollock

 No.308

As the Ogre staggered and fell to the ground he suddenly disappeared. It was then a puff of smoke arose and all that remained was a pickle. Turning the Pickle over my eyes wept from the joy and majesty of the situation. A beautiful thing. The purest form of humor. He had turned himself…into a pickle. He was Pickle-Ogre.

 No.309

A nigger took the pickle ogre and shoved it up his own nigger ass. A kike then ate the pickle ogre from the nigger's ass after which a faggot then shoved his dick down the niggers throat as he tongued the kike's anus waiting for the pickle ogre to enter his own mouth. The disgusting display of nigger on kike on faggot depravity formed a monstrous homunculus which threatened the world as it rolled over everything like a game of Katamari Damacy for the Playstation 2.

 No.311

Those mushroom spores were rather potent

 No.312

HELP I'M BEING RAPED

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE RAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE

 No.314

RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE

 No.318

>>314

The distant roar of thunder punctuated the rip of rain against the window. Rape, rape, rape. My fingers pressed against the curtains, a polyester blend of some tacky blue. Herringbone weave? Rape, rape, rape. Turning my head, spotting the hem on the bottom of the fabric that I sewn with my mother that quiet Wednesday morning after dad left. Rape, rape, rape. There's no stifling my desire for escape. There's no escaping the desire to stifle it. There's no desire to stifle. There's no desire. Rape, rape, rape.

 No.320

>>318
I raped my way to the supermarket (rape zone) where I raped the cashier after raping the watermelons in the fruit (rape) section. I then raped some lottery tickets and won a million rapes which I immediately squandered by raping a million pedestrians. It's a truism that rape winners lose all their rapes within the first year of rape. Well, I found myself in the poor house (rape house) where I regained my wealth (rape capabilities) by pushing drugs (rape fuel) on rape victims who I raped. The world (rape planet) was mine (me: a rapist). Since I raped the world the only thing left to rape was space (rape sky).

 No.321

>>318
…A window? I thought to myself, that is odd because I am in a cave underground. But perhaps I was so far gone I may have actually entered another plane where all my son's are about to be atoned. Yes this made sense! all the faggot, nigger, like and rape was coming down on me like an ant caught in a category 5 gas hurricane on Jupiter's outer sphere, if this is it, please tell me now…

 No.323

All at once I awoke in an unfamiliar location. A pain in my head, and a faint taste of mushroom about my mouth. I lay on a stark bed. Across from me was a stool, over which was draped a simple tunic of a rough brown material. In the corner sat a foul smelling bucket. My eyes wandered to the barred door. Outside stood a familiar cloaked figure on guard. Beyond, I could see what appeared to be sunlight.

Chapter 5
Trapped in a cell in the Inner Earth

 No.324

>>323
Chapter 1
/dup/ BTFO

 No.475

File: 1598859045307.png (163.66 KB, 306x491, 306:491, hoseisoy.png) ImgOps iqdb

HEAD JANNY ALERT HEAD JANNY ALERT HEAD JANNY ALERT -DO NOT INCORPORATE EAN2 THE DOCUMENT THIS POAST WILL B JANNIED AFTUR DATE MENTIONED BELOW-

EVERIE POAST MAYDE EAN DIS THREAD BEFORE DATE OF DECEMBER 25TH, 2020 IZ ELIGIBLE 4 THE "CURRENT NISU/LIT/ NOVEL COMPENDIUM COMPILATION" SNAPSHAWT

DIS IZ AWL ARIGATO GOZAIMASU MANZAILERONIN OV DOUNIN-DIRIGEYSEROTONINS SAC-BLEU

 No.526

File: 1599577688925.jpg (34.83 KB, 400x400, 1:1, 5GV24uyr_400x400.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

>>323
cors bilmey govn'r oi shore do loike seein' mohommad bone the missis I do

 No.527

said the figure on guard. I wondered what he meant by this, but I don't make a habit of talking to commoners.

 No.532

"Ay' white boy!" a deep, aggressive voice behind me said. I turned around and saw 6'8', 350lb negro standing there. I began shaking with fear as he began too…

 No.533

play the xylophone

 No.535

File: 1599707577584.png (18.54 KB, 800x800, 1:1, teev-chan.png) ImgOps iqdb

>>533
and suck my cock

 No.536

erel

 No.537

"Can't get no good meat off-a these thangs" uttered the hulking negroid, and we were immediate friends. His name was DeShay L DeyTrey. He was a shoe-spitter and car rustler from Missouri Tennessee. It seemed he had stumbled into the inner Earth while digging for gold with stolen industrial equipment. He wasn't a smart man, he wasn't a good man, he wasn't an especially attractive or charming man, but beside myself I liked him. He reminded me of a pet bear I once owned.

 No.540

>>537
WHAT'S MY NAME?

 No.607

>>540


"Me?" I bellowed- the room grew dead silent. I felt a wash of eyes move over me, as if they were pulling at my very form. Schizophrenic disjunction in the form of blue wall wasn't the word I was looking for but ever apparent in the mind as I looked over the pictures of wrinkly sad man variants whose eyes seemed ever addressed on me. The stupid green frogs, whose expressions seemed ever unwarranted in reference to their very targets of ire. I said, clearing my throat, I, the black man, 6'8, 350lbs, negro in full, "I am not DeShay L. DeTray, I lied. I have come to see that I am living nothing more than a self-referential hell in which no escape can be found in this broken mirror that somehow stands suspended in reflection to itself, "I am cockmongler, and I need dick and I need it in my ass, stat. 1200 CCs of cum straight in my ass. Immediately."

 No.608

And this reminded me of another tale…

 No.618

Sometime in the late 2090's. I was watching television in my sub-urban New England home. There was a knock upon the door. I promptly answered, as a proud family guy such as myself was apt to do in those days. I unlatched the door, and there he stood, in all his glory. "Holy crap!" I exclaimed to my red headed home-maker wife of the time "It's…

 No.619

>>618
JOHN FUCKING CENA

 No.620

"what the deuce? It's John Cena!" babbled my autistic spawn, as he sauntered his effeminate form into the parlor. I promptly beat him about both sets of cheeks, then tossed him to the dog. Insolent little shit.

 No.625

My wife started sobbing, "our son is dead!" The dog was chewing on his corpse.
I laughed, "Who cares? Nobody AUTISTIC deserves to live." Then I sauntered out of the house, donning as always my vintage Panama hat and slick leather jacket.

 No.627

John Cena and I attended the Royal Variety Performance of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. An absolute audio visual masterclass, underappreciated by the troglodytes of it's time. We laughed, we cried, we hooted with joy as the hero Jar Jar Binks saved the day from the dastardly droid army. We had a gay old time, but as the credits rolled, and the audience stood to give their applause, I spied something in the corner of my eye

 No.628

>>627
Sauntering into the theater was a sauntering gelatinous rat-like creature, which was rapidly sauntering toward John Cena and I. I was about to saunter away from it when John Cena held up his hand, looked me in the eye, and said

 No.629

"Saunter off, Reginald. I shall handle this". John Cena sauntered over to the rat, pulled out his patented John Cena camp stove, as the rat sauntered toward him, sauntering menacingly. John Cena caught the sauntering rat by the throat, and proceeded to saute the rat with sage and onions. "Anyone for saute'd sauntering rat" said John Saunter, as he sauntered out into the theatre lobby. The crowd stopped their sauntering, and sauntered toward John Saunter, who fed them all helpings upon helpings of saute'd saunter. It was like the feeding of the five thousand. I sauntered off to the bogs to have a shit, and that was when

 No.632

>>629
I woke up.

 No.635

Where was I now? Still in that cell? My grip on reality was getting spotty. I suspected those spores were mating with my brain. I wore a brown tunic that felt like a potato sack. My dark skinned companion was relieving himself into the bucket. He eyed me and said

 No.636

>>635
"I'm JOHN FUCKING CENA," as he ripped off his fake mustache to reveal his true identity.

 No.637

"John Cena? Here? but how?" I exclaimed. John Cena just shot me a wink, rallied off one final volley of stools into the bucket, and then, hefting the weight of the thing in his perfect muscled arms, he tossed the entire contents into the face of the watching guard. The guard doubled over, writhing in pain and surprise, as John Cena pulled up his pants, and tore the cell door off it's hinges. We took flight

 No.638

>>637
But apparently none of the guards cared enough to give chase. It wasn't long before we found out why. As we penetrated deeper and deeper into the putrid swampland surrounding the prison, we caught more and more glimpses of a mysterious, half-Asian figure…

 No.639

>>638
I stared at him and he stared back at me. It was none other than myself. And the swamp in which I was mired was none other than The Swamp of Self-Reflection. The guards knew that a hapa such as I was could never leave such a place alive. As I realized this the croaks of frogs and the chirping of cicadas that had previously permeated this dream-fog took on a sinister change of timbre; the echoes that reverberated among those damp black trees were now none other than the chink moans of my chink mother as she was getting violently bred by my white father all those years ago. I heard her call out; "ooooh oooh fucka me sir oooooh fucka me hard sir oooooo dave pleeza fucka me ooooh".
I couldn't move. Now I saw that I was up to my waist in the warm sucking pit of the swampland. The spores had me in their clutches. If I couldn't quickly extricate myself from this situation they would tear apart my ventricles, coat my skin in a rubbery layer of pus, and render me an oversized mushroom.

 No.644

And as I sank rapidly into that mire, I did the only thing I could think to do. I closed my eyes and began to pray to a God I wasn't sure I believed in. And to my utmost surprise, I heard a voice respond. It came faintly at first, as if from very far away, and then more audibly. It said

 No.645

>>644
"Kill yourself Zach."

 No.650

But I'm not Zack. I'm just Harry.

 No.651

>>650
"Well just 'Arry," retorted the voice, "Yer a hapa."

 No.652

"I'm a h'what?"

 No.665

"A hapa, Harold. Mixed race, subhuman, a waste of flesh and bone. You, Harry, are a hapa."

 No.668

>>665
I was deeply confused and beginning to panic. Me? A hapa? Impossible. I'd shat on Emma Watson on the internet more times than I could count. No, I simply could not be a hapa.

"But," I squeaked out, "I thought my name was Reginald."

 No.669

"I'll be honest. I'm struggling to keep track of this narrative" replied the voice of the fungal hive-mind.

 No.810

>>669
I passed the next few months in utter silence. Had I thought about myself and my adventures? I cant say it was more like a complete basketball-american-out. I do remember reaching the bottom of the pit. I met a cool chap or two. Did my vulgarities and collected my reward at the interspacial guildhall. With a full pardon of any crime, and 10 zarklone dollardoos in my pocket I set off for the icefields of Uranus…

 No.812

Aaah. The Icefields of Uranus, where the finest of exquisite slave-boys are birthed from tubes. Just the right amount of Aryan vigor. Just the right admixture of of bronzed Mediterranean. Just the slightest twinge of Oriental spice. Muscles wiry and firm. Features chiseled, yet soft to the touch. Born with a waiter's tray in one hand, and an opium pipe in the other. Pre-configured to serve, and to please in all the right ways.
"Yes, that's what you'd like, isn't it?"

 No.813

>>812
said the voice of Your Anus.

I gazed down into the great, icy hole, startled by the great Anus' ability to read the darkest desires of my innermost mind. Nevertheless, the shock passed quickly. I set my chin firmly, looked Your Anus straight in the eye, and said,

 No.814

"Wait a moment. There was something I was supposed to do"

 No.816

>>814
"But Ive completely forgotten so if you have a clue say it now or Ill ow your fucking brains out"

 No.819

I aimed my revolver, and blasted six steamy hot rounds into the chasm. Why is it always holes?

 No.822

BC BLUMPF WUZ MEANT 2 B BTFO BUT WUZNT BTFO WTF BLUMPFGJGH!!!! WHURR TF IZ BLUMPF'S BTFO!?!?! I KNEAD BTFO I WEEN BEETFOE EYE SKRIIIIIM BTFO TOOUZ SKEWPZ!!!!! SKOLOP 2Z-SKEWPS BTFO!!!! BTFO A NIGGER, DUP WUZ DUH BTFO-NOG EGG-NOGGYNO AHOYOYO!!!! GIMME BTFO OAR GYMME DEAF-TFO!!! BARUMPGHF BLUMPFG DUPPITY DUP

B
T
F
O

 No.823

I turned around to confront the source of this sudden outburst, and there he was, in the flesh. Piercing and predatory eyes greeted me from behind green tinted reading spectacles. taught lips curled to a menacing grin revealed a set of shark like teeth, sharpened to points. Excited spittle frothed through heavy breaths. He was portly. Heavy set. He wore a pinstripe brown suit, offset by an embroidered green shirt, and silken tie of darkest burgundy. He supported his heaving form with an ebony walking cane, and on his head sat the most gentlemanly of fedoras.
Why it was none other than the Great Farsh-Nuke.
"Daddy Trump is gone now, Reginald, and I've come for you, you Imperalist bastard! Neo-Liberalism has failed, and now I'm going to fill you with squirrel shit, and make you my pet!"
He popped the top off his cane, revealing a sharpened needle, dripping with a foul liquid that permeated the air with a fetid stench.
And then he lunged at me.

 No.825

SUDDENLY

 No.826

The cliff side gave way. No doubt due to the cosmic molester's great weight. And we tumbled arm in arm into the anus of Uranas. The Farsh-Nuke screaming obscenities, and lecturing me on the necessity of UBI as we went.

 No.831

>>826
"Is there a character that could even possibly EVEN TOUCH Madara Uchiha? Let alone defeat him," asked the monster.

"And I'm not talking about Edo Tensei Uchiha Madara," he went on, "I'm not talking about Gedou Rinne Tensei Uchiha Madara either. Hell, I'm not even talking about Juubi Jinchuuriki Gedou Rinne Tensei Uchiha Madara with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan and Rinnegan doujutsus (with the rikodou abilities and being capable of both Amateratsu and Tsukuyomi genjutsu), equipped with his Gunbai, a perfect Susano'o, control of the juubi and Gedou Mazou, with Hashirama Senju's DNA implanted in him so he has mokuton kekkei genkai and can perform yin yang release ninjutsu while being an expert in kenjutsu and taijutsu."

"No," he concluded, "I'm talking about Rinne Tensei Madara Uchiha with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan, the Rinnegan, a perfect Susano'o and the ability to control the juubi and the Gedou Mazou. Can you name even one character who even comes close?"

 No.832

I had to concede. The Great Farsh-Nuke was right about that one.

 No.835

>>832
"You are right about that one old chap, tut tut tut however… nothin personnel Fucknuke" and Reginald quickly snatched the squirrel shit syringe out of the FarshNukes hands. "Unlike you, I never needed consent from all those boy slaves I have used over time. What I can tell you is that you will be the only one eating your rump steak." and with that he poked the syringe into the great Farshnuke side. Bellowing with laughter as the behemoth began to transform.

 No.836


"AAAAAARGH" squeltched the demon, as his form contorted and ballooned. His suit tore and fell away. As I heard his bones crack he began to vomit, and a jet of liquid excreta shot from his nethers, knocking a bird out of the sky. I looked on in amazement as his warped body took the form of

 No.837

A four door family Volkswagen

 No.838

"NO! NOT A VOLKSWAGEN! THAT'S THE MOST FASCIST CAR OF ALL!" he screeched in his new petrol engine voice. "This is worse than post scarcity, and homework put together" he added with a saddened tone, and then let out a defeated honk.
I now took a moment to take note of where I was. I had fallen through the Anus of Uranus into what seemed to be an all new dimension. I was in the middle of a vast grassy field. Above me the most perfect blue sky I had ever seen, fluffy white clouds and an enormous yellow sun. Before me stood a sign, scrawled crudely in what seemed to be permanent marker. It said:

WELCOME TO CWCVILLE

 No.839

SUDDENLY

 No.840

The Carsh-Nuke was upon me. Seizing upon the moment while my back was turned to try to grind me into the dirt with his new rubber tyres.

 No.842

But there are zero recorded car crash deaths on Uranus or CWCVILLE and I wasnt about to be the first. People would probably think I was some chinky eyed driver who drove straight into the gaping maw because their gps told them to turn right.

 No.843

I dove artfully out of the path of the Carsh-Nuke like a swarthy Spanish bullfighter.
"Come on, old man". I pleaded with the psychotic motor vehicle. "You don't need to kill me. We're not so different. I like rape. You like rape… I'm an imperialistic bastard, and you're a fascist love bug… We're brothers, you and I!"

 No.844

The Carsh-Nuke seemed to mull over this thought, and then he answered thusly

 No.845

>>844
"NO YOU SEE WITH ME IT ISNT RAPE. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND, I WAS BORN THIS WAY. YOU, 4CHAN, THE TORIES… YOU DONT GET IT. A WOMAN WILL ADMIT SHE WANTS TO BE CUT UP FOR THE GREATER GOOD, A WOMAN WILL SUBMIT. IN A GREATER UNIVERSE AN 8 FOOT TALL SHARK AMAZON DOES HAVE GREATER DOCTOR WHO KNOWLEDGE THAN ME OR THE BAMKURSH REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and with that his new 1.8 turboliter engine overheated and caught fire. "Heh… I guess the fatfuck didnt know how to change his oil after a burnout".

 No.846

SUDDENLY

 No.847

I was struck by the familiar sound of church bells calling out in the distance. "Civilisation" I thought. After making doubly sure the galactic pervert was truly out to pasture, turned my back on his erratic wailings, and set off toward the sound.

 No.848

>>847
Sadly, I discovered that the sound was coming from an old, sickly man who was ringing a large, likely stolen, church bell while sitting on a stump. He looked sickly, dirty and starved. In former times he probably would have been a great philosopher.

 No.849

"good day" I greeted the man. He acknowledged me with a nod.
"Might I ask; what strange land is this?"
The man laughed and spat into an nearby spittoon.
"Well this'ere's the dimensiona fiction. That's what they called it anyhow, fore "she" showed up. These days they calls it "Quickville" or somethin to that ends. I just stands here, ringing my bell"
He spat a second time and struck the bell again.

 No.852

"Why do you ring that bell?" I asked.
"I rings the bell cause it's written that I rings the bell. Reason's not mine to question"
He spat a loose tooth into the spittoon.

 No.854

"I don't care for she's but I did notice you made the notion that she was in quotations, is this she perhaps a he aka a heshe aka shehe? In fact, I have a degree in transvestigations, you see I pull up a photo then draw a triangle around their form, circle their neck and wrists and the coup de gras? I enlarge the bulge." I said letting the old man know what was up.
" Well, that's nice" he replied ringing his bell.

 No.855

"this one looks like a crudely drawn hedgehog though. Don't know iffinyou can transvestigate that. He, she, whatever showed up in a crack of lightning, one, maybe two seasons back, took over the whole place. We're all "proud citizens of quickville" now"
The old man let out a rasping fart, as if to punctuate his small monologue.

 No.858

Suddenly a sudden noise grabbed my attention suddenly. I suddenly looked around and beheld a sudden streak of autistic yellow light barreling straight for me. I suddenly saw that the sudden interloper was none other than the crudely drawn hedgehog the old-timer had spoken of. It was yellow, suddenly so, and its likeness to a hedgehog suddenly ended at its rear end where a sudden, lightning-shaped tail suddenly jutted out.

"ZAP TO THE EXTREME" yelled the creature suddenly as it suddenly noticed me, suddenly increasing its speed.

I suddenly felt something warm suddenly enter my pantaloons.

 No.859

It was the old man's hand
"why are you doing that?" I asked in great surprise
"T'aint my place to question" Said the old man, and spat

The electric rodent creature halted before me. For a moment I couldn't comprehend what I was seeing. It seemed to be a child's drawing brought to life by some ungodly force. Was I high? Was I high on drugs? The being spoke.
"Well hey y'all" it said. "Name's Christine and I'm Major 'round these parts. Who in the heck are y'all?"

 No.861

"WEEEEELLLLLLLL, you know me major" the old man said, his hand metronoming me at an allegro pace.
Moments passed, and I shouted "Rlexander Meginald Aosley" as my pants stained with excitement. I knew not to trust this Pickachumon ripoff.

 No.862

"And just what are you?" the thing pressed on. "Are you a Pokemon? A Sonic? A Transformer? No, I got it. You're a He-Man, right?"

 No.865

>>862
"Yes," I affirmed, "and a devoted Woman-Hater as well."

I popped my monocle into my eye socket and glared imperiously at the creature to assert my dominance.

"The question, my friend," I said, "Is who, or hwæt, exactly, art thou?"

 No.866

"In the year 2051, once society achieved perfect simulation protocols my master C W C was able to create so much terrible content that an entire interdimensional universe was created. The problem is that over the decades he/she literally fucked all the other hedgehogs to death. I'm talking over a million variants like myself each one dieing with a crushed pelvis. I stationed old man here to ring his bell as a warning in case C W C reappears." The hedgehog monologued. It suddenly became eerily quiet…

 No.867

SUDDENLY

 No.868

I decided to repay the service back to the bell jangler but use my mouth to relieve the quiet tension. As I inserted the phallus into my mouth, a loud BOOONG chimed the air.

 No.869

"Your Mayorship!"
Another individual had entered the scene. I craned my neck to find that it was some kind of gigantic metal man forged from pieces of an articulated lorry.
"Thomas the Tank Engine and I have discovered some kind of demonic Volkswagen. He was shouting about something called the "alt-write", but that's not important right now. What is important is he's reading a positive on the autism charts. It's the prophesy sir. Thomas is having him transported back to town as we speak"

 No.880

"Prophecy you say?" I said wiping the 3 drops of jizzum from the old man of my lips. "I might be of some service, I had the quelled many autistic AND manlet uprisings in my day." The abomination Engine shot a glance to Christine and said in a decided tone:

 No.881

DUPPENLY

 No.882

"we must dup back to town! for the prophesy is at hand"

 No.884

"For there could be -NO- dup without an equal, yet correspondingly SUDDENLY sudden, BHEE-TUHEE-EFF-OOO…because the world, in 'neoliberal' (wtf doz diiz gaie ass turm evun mean lmao- t. crispy niggrue co-pyalt-ritta) catapleabian derivatoolz, cannot stir abject an overwhelmingly FASCIST ENGINE…and because what errs in squirrel shit burrs in pump-brake turnover 2 the MILEAN NO-LIDGE ov SLYPHILEAN HOE-HEDGE staqqed bumper 2 bumper…a sophrosynic synthesis, bespoke honk volks-taulc kristallnacht-vaggen kall-manded…this, our trewst apocalyptic stall-aot rubric, odeometes but trolley'd deontollogistic weight…

THE CARSH-NUKE COMETH FREIGHT!"

 No.885

>>884
After the monologue I could feel stirring in my heart similar to the first time I learned to ride my biholocycle. As far as I understood I knew I had to kill the Germanic menace, stop the phrophecy and kill the yellow Sonichu. If I end up eradicating the whole dimension so be it.

 No.886

"Yes" I addressed the gathering. "We must get back to town at once to witness this great happening!"
"You don't have to tell me twice but in the stone age" spoke the man beast "all of y'all get in Optimus' backside, now"

 No.898

We arrived to the center of the town and standing in the middle by the fountain was a cute young man with wild hair. He turned around and said "Oy Guvenah, You Cant Keep Hermione Waiting In The Dark All The Time"
I realized it wasnt a man but an unshapely woman. The worst kind. I paid a moment of respect to my Eurasian slave Zekariah who was found of this phenotype, a shame he had to die so soon

 No.899

>>898
Suddenly I realized I didn't care to stay in CWCville a moment longer.

I spun around in a flamboyant 360 and chortled, "Smell ya later, locked homos!" Then I moonwalked off into the sunset.

 No.900

but not before I was stopped by

 No.901

BIG

 No.902

FIRESTONE

 No.903

Raining from the sky.

 No.904

"The prophesy is upon us!" Bellowed Optimus Prime, who had just gotten done cleaning my luggage out of his back carriage. "The autistic mind of the creator has arrived! This world shall burn, and be forged anew of his whims! Speak now Carsh-Nuke! Speak!"
And thus spake the Carsh-Nuke:

 No.905

"Okay friend, let me explain something to you since you seem to be new here. Hebephilia is NOT the same thing as pedophilIa. I'm sick and tired of you trolls popping up everywhere and spreading BLATANT misinformation. In many countries hebephilia is considered normal and healthy . Human beings have a natural attraction to girls who are going through puberty. Being attracted to girls who are pre-pubescent is fucking sick and disgusting, but only in the US does there seem to be an unwarranted taboo around a healthy and normal condition. My head hurts. I'm just trying to get my real life back."

 No.906

Then all around me the sights of CWCville were fading. It's people changing. No longer stood I in that toybox land with it's story book inhabitants. I was now somewhere decidedly more adolescent. Those whimsical hues gave way to a depressive grey, and there was a strange musty smell about the place like a combination of old food and unwashed linen. I watched as Optimus Prime's form shifted and gave way. Where once the metal giant had stood, now was something soft, lithe, and nubile, clothed in just a skimpy t-shirt and under garment. And then all around me there were more of them. A buffet of shapes, sizes, colours. Some dressed in bathing costumes, others in lace underthings, some as bunny girls, or in (what I'm told is called) science fiction cosplay.
"Oh no" I though. My Nemesis had bested me. It was my one weakness. My Achilles heel. The one indulgence that turned even my stomach.
Females…

 No.908

I hated everything to do with these narcissistic abominations. These ever consuming, ever nagging, ever judging whores of Babyblon. I readied my fists and muttered "Its treason then" and away I flew spinning in the air like a merry go round at the fair

 No.909

I took out a plump Celtic looking mutt with a swift Judo kick. She hit the floor like a sack of potatoes, babbling incomprehensible Scottishisms at me as she went. A hefty boot sized bruise welled on her puckered Highland features, and she screeched the shrill cry of the banshee, showering me with particles of drunken saliva, and bits of fried fish

 No.914

Next was the Kara-TE purple three eyed eskimo, I quickly dodged her Gunbai and perfect Susano'o with her mastery of the juubi and Gedou Mazou, even though she had Hashirama Senju's DNA implanted in herself so she has mokuton kekkei genkai. A fierce look on my face, I readied my fist like a club and started beating the seal out of her. I then slid her across the ground into a nearby house and said "Head into your igloo to cool off." I turned and saw perhaps the strongest woman of them all.

 No.916

It was an eight foot tall shark Valkyrie with bionic limbs, and honkin' bazonkers.

 No.922

Just as I was about to make sashimi, my VW antagonist drove onto the scene. "Laura, my first love, you must be careful. This misogynist is a real piece of work. A true devil, the likes of which Ive never been harrassed by and Ive been around, except in you, of course… but maybe you want to come in me? And he opened his drivers door.

 No.923

>>922
Suddenly, I took advantage of the sudden opportunity by suddenly pulling a conveniently-placed grenade from my underpants and tossing it inside of the suddenly un-protected carsh-nuke suddenly.

 No.924

"Ha! Nice try, Tory apologist ,but this is my reality now" Mocked the Tyrant, and the grenade promptly turned into an inch tall blonde woman, who he stashed away in his glove compartment for later fun

 No.926

"Heh joke's on you that was supposed to happen," I smuckled, "That was my cuckime grenade, and now that you've consumed it you're already beginning to transform into a cuckime pro!"

 No.927

All the girls including Laura began to dicks the size of my forearm. "I'm beginning to like this" I thought but alas I wound my arm up to toss the real grenade in. But the world began to transform once more as I saw what could only be CWC himself enter the forray.

 No.928

Begun the autism wars had

 No.929

I took a step back and watched as the Volkswagon started to rev his engine and CWC began to summon an army of crudely drawn hedgehogs. What I realized after the fact was that Laura added squirrel cum and shit into the Carshnuke and he was circulating it throughout his engine in lieu of motor oil. He began to transform into what I hoped was his final form…

 No.934

THE TROCAR-SHNUKE

 No.935

tro·​car | \ ˈtrō-ˌkär
\
variants: or less commonly trochar
Definition of trocar

: a sharp-pointed surgical instrument fitted with a cannula and used especially to insert the cannula into a body cavity as a drainage outlet. You'd have to be there to see the 20 foot TROCAR-SHNUKE but he was impressive.

 No.938

A great mechanical Spider, it was. Outfitted with hefty syringes on each limb, and a huge pulsating member. It leered over me. It's great green eyes burning with a raper's fury. And then it spoke.

 No.943

>>938
NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER

 No.944

I didn't know he had it in him…

 No.945

As the broken minded maniac was distracted, screaming healthy obscenity, the hedgehog army happened upon their chance to strike

 No.948

Out of the hedgehog army charged a purple one, I noticed a tiff of his ear missing and quickly decided to ask him about it once the battle was over. He jumped and spun with the force of a thousand suns and overshot his target by a mile and a half. An explosion sounded once he landed and I assumed he fell into some explosive human shit that was fermenting. An edgy devilish wisp passed my face and whispered into my ear "Psshh… nothin personnel… kid…" Odd I thought seeing as how I was an elderly gentleman. The Hedgehogs readied for another attack seeing as the Trocar was still only halfway done his nigger rant. But a quick twitch of one leg indicated perhaps the Trocar was merely feigning his niggerly meditation.

 No.950

Then, the current conflict vanishing forever instantly, something more interesting happened! Standing where the mechanical monstrosity and meme battle had just spontaneously poofed from existence was my favorite Earth Kinographer, Mel Gibson!

He should have been centuries dead, but seeing Mel there in the flesh, my heart was aflutter! Seeing his charming carefree smile made my legs weak, but I knew that I had to make the most of this opportunity! I knew what I had to do.

 No.952

And that's the story of why I killed myself.

 No.953

"Interesting story" spoke the voice of the fungal hivemind. "But that doesn't tell us why you're here"

 No.957

>>953
"My dear fungus, it's the simplest reason in the world," I said as I pulled John Cena from his hiding spot in my urethra, "I came here to pick mushrooms and BTFO dup."

I grinned as John Cena menacingly flexed his musculature like something out of JOJO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE, the greatest anime of the 21st century (with, of course, the sole exception of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzimiya, the smartest and cutest love story ever written).

"And I'm all out of dup."

 No.959

"you see, reality is in a bend now. Two warped minds are fighting a never ending battle in the spiritual realm. There's only one thing I can do to end this, and to do so I must seek the mythical autism giving mushroom of the Inner Earth"

 No.960

"You see Im a bit of an autist myself. But I really want to tip it over the edge, fungalbrain. I want ass burgers so deep even the aforementioned trocar-shnuke would be in awe. I want enough ASSBURGERS that the cannibals of Mercury serve it at their Chickafil. Im talking assburgers that would make even your fungalbrained mother proud to have you, a retarded son as her only mark on the world. Im talking autismic ASSBURGERS THAT ALL I CAN SAY IS REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 No.961

"we know of such a mushroom" spoke the fungi. "Many mushroom tales have been told in it's name. But it lies in realms still further abroad"

 No.962

My eyes were forced shut. A cooling wave embraced my body, I could feel myself shrinking but growing in perpetuity. After an hour my eyes opened once more and I was in a strange hallway, filled with lockers. Rooms every 20 meters and teenage girls everywhere. A neaeby poster read "Jane Austen All Female Highschool Cheerleader Tryouts". I looked down and realized I was in hell. A shortstack blonde teenager in hell…

 No.963

Suddenly, I felt a supple hand against the back of my neck, and my face was shoved into my locker.

"Not thinking of trying out for the squad, are you, Becky?" came a mocking, bitchy voice.

"Or…" continued the voice, "Should I say… Reginald?"

Upon hearing my true name I wrestled free from the grasp of the mean girl and turned to face her. I recognized her immediately and gasped in horror.

"Farsh-Nuke!" I exclaimed, for the Great Farsh-Nuke it was. My ancient nemesis appeared to be in much the same predicament as me, having been transformed at some point from a trocar into a tall, busty, redheaded tomboy. Despite the massive bazongas the Nuke now sported, the aura of the beast was unmistakable.

The Fem-Nuke grinned menacingly.

"Now you and I both know that there's only one spot left on the cheerleading squad," the Fem-Nuke continued, "and that there's no way a FREAK like you would ever get it. So just do yourself a favor and saunter off, why don't ya."

 No.964

Blast it! There was no way I was going to let Farshy beat me in the try-outs, and steal that dreamy John Cena's heart away from me!
Was there something else I was supposed to be doing here? No, of course not. Being a cheerleader has always been my dream. Nothing could be more important.
Damn, this brassiere chafes.

 No.965

"You shouldnt let her bully you like that" whispered a pizza faced, thin haired, mannish teen. "Im Gahoola". I visibly winced at her voice and look. A true ghoul. "Thank you" I said, approaching closer. "Its nice to have a friend…" I glanced around to make sure eyes were on me. I quickly pulled her pants down, revealing polka dot boxers. Laughing, I walked away. I wasnt about to commit social suicide interacting with this ogre.

 No.966

"You bitch" cried the squat pig, and tackled me like a star rugby player, trousers still dangling around her ankles. I hit the floor, disoriented, and more than slightly impressed. I felt blistered and meaty hands grabbing at me, tearing at my uniform. Buttons were beginning to fly. Oh my!

 No.969

"Oh we have a tough guy here huh……." I said as I unsheathed my twin katanas, "Well, let's see how tough you really are!"

I jumped into the air while screeching, "TAAAAKE THIIIIIIIIIIIIS," spun around, and slashed Gahoola's face open.

"Not so tough now, huh?????" I asked, grabbing her and throwing her up.

"It's time to finish this little charade!" I declared.

I held my katanas above my head and said, "YOU ARE FINIIIIISHEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!!!!!"

Finally, I jumped upwards so that Gahoola got impaled on my swords.

"Heh…. easy….. - ;)" I sighed, "That's pretty fuckin funny."

I turned my back to Gahoola's writhing form and chuckled.

"But…" I continued, "not as funny as whats about to happen now!"

I unsheathed my katana one last time and readied my Sanzetsu no Jitsuzhi style stance. I finished off the wretched ogre with a stealth kill and walked alway whisteling a drunken whaler tune. I felt pumped up and ready for try outs. Farshy wouldn't bully me anymore if I had anything to say about it!

 No.970

And that's when I saw him. It was Zachary, resident desk masturbator, standing mouth agape, with a light splattering of blood on his Minecraft t-shirt. Shit.
"Look" I said. "If you don't tell anyone, I'll give you a handy behind the bike sheds"

 No.971

The Eurasian youth shook his head furiously.

"Master Reginald," he said, "Don't you recognize me?"

"Who's… Reginald?" I asked, the name seeming vaguely familiar to me, "And of course I recognize you. You're Zachary, the resident desk masturbator."

"Master Reginald," said Zachary, "This is an all-girls' school. How could I, a man, cute and feminine though I may be, be the resident desk masturbator in a place like this?"

"Wh… what?" I asked. For an instant, the reality of the high school flickered, defiling my innocent teenaged eyes with a ghastly vision of a vast, subterranean mushroom field.

The supple young hapa held his squinty, green eyes close to mine with the intensity of a tiger.

"Master Reginald, it's me, Zechariah, your loyal manslave!" cried the youth, "You have to wake up, Master Reginald, you have to get the great autism mushroom for the Crown to clear your name! You're so close now, Master Reginald, you can't give up! Don't you remember, Master Reginald?"

"I…" I mumbled, "I…

 No.972

DON'T MIND IF I -DO-

 No.975

In strode Mr Accino, girl's volleyball coach.
"Zachary, what the FUCK are you doing in the girl's locker room you eunuch oink? You may be the sole male student of this academy, but that doesn't give you free reign to sexual harassment. Only I get to do that!"

 No.976

SUDDENLY

 No.978

I was hit in the tits by a dodgeball. With one breast exposed I glanced around for the assailant, of course it was Fem-Nuke. She tried to throw another but I quickly swung my katana like bat, rebounding the dodgeball that hit her square in the face. "ごめんなさい お姉さん, 私はそこであなたに会いませんでした、多分私達は後でシャワーに行きそしてそれを洗い流すことができました" I said as I put a tampon in her bloody nose.

 No.982

"I wish normalfags had never discovered anime…" muttered Farshy before stalking out of the locker room.

 No.986

"Anyway" said Mr Accino, briskly shoving Zach out of the door

 No.988

"Im throwing a real raging kegger this weekend." he continued visibly flexing his bicep in his golf tee, "Everyones gonna be there… Laura Palmer, FemNuke, Gahoola, Shannon Doherty, you know everyone cool… Im just passing along this invite to you too… 12am, my house, Ill supply the roofies… I mean drinks… I mean psylocibin… I mean… condoms" and he winked at me.

 No.989

The prospect of being molested by Mr Accino was enticing, I had to admit, but

 No.990

I still felt like there was something that I had to do.

 No.991

Oh, right. Cheerleading try-outs. How silly of me to forget.

 No.992

I really wanted to subvert expectations, so I put on my Wicked Weasel Sailor Stripe 831 Scrunch bikini and assumed the bottom position where you throw the girls up in the air. Who approached to be my partner? Gahoola wearing what looked like an ogre wrestling onesie. The size disparity would mean surely one of us would be going home tonight.

 No.993

Gahoola's bleeding corpse grinned freakishly as I entered the gym.

"Ready to go, partner?" asked the ice-cold monstrosity.

"Eh," I replied, nonchalantly, "I could do warm-ups for a few more minutes."

 No.994

JUST THEN, the current captain of the cheerleading squad and overall shoe-in for Prom Queen of this suspiciously non-sapphic "all-girls" academy barreled into the room. It was DWAYNELLIA JOHNSON! Her rippling, racially nephilimicized biceps and canined, trademark LITTY grin catapulted her to #1 on the Gayfabe Over-list - a traditional power ranking of all girls in the school permanently dictating "narrative story arc resolutions" and "terms of negotiation for contract renewals", whatever these inexplicable/non-sequitur details entailed.

 No.995

I readied my katanas to quickly take down this menace before she even had an idea what hit her. I leaped onto Gahoolas shoulders, front flipping while slicing at Miss Johnson's neck landing in a perfect split. I smiled my trademark grin, and looked back hoping the other cheerleaders would see whos the alpha but to my surprise Miss Johnson kept walking like I had not even registered in her field of vision. As I got up she turned around and said

 No.999

"Ha! You think that's my real neck?"

 No.1004

I readied for another slash-by but I was stopped by coach Accino. "Girls, to the field please, tryouts are beginning in 30 seconds." A pause while he read his notes. "Dwaynellia, you are first. Show them what you got."

 No.1006

"Hmph, nothin' personnel, kid. SHADOW CLONE!"
Suddenly there were 15 Dwaynellia's standing before me. They began to perform an elaborate routine.

 No.1008

One jumped onto the others shoulder, then that one jumped onto another forming a stack of three Dwaynellias. The 5 groups formed a pentagram on the floor with the Central Dwaynellia in the middle incanting a spell:O my heart of my mother! O my heart of my mother! O my heart of my different forms! Do not stand up as a witness against me, do not be opposed to me in the tribunal, do not be hostile to me in the presence of the Keeper of the Balance, for you are my ka which was in my body, the protector who made my members hale. Go forth to the happy place whereto we speed, do not make my name stink to the Entourage who make men. Do not tell lies about me in the presence of the god. It is indeed well that you should hear!

 No.1010

By now the girls were writhing around in sexual orgy. Mr Accino entered the scene wearing a pagan style horned crown. "Yes!" he shouted. "YES!"

 No.1011

I stood stunned, watching this splendid display, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. It was Zachary, wearing a clean Teen Titans Go t-shirt.
"Sir, you must understand none of this is real. He means to distract you"
But I didn't hear the rest of what Zach said, because just that moment, the heathen god Pan burst through the ground.

 No.1013

With my only other experience with Satyrs being on the planet BaKKKus, I knew it was going to come to a panpipes duel. It was customary for the challengee to supply the pipes so I quickly took the initiative. "I actually just came here to partake in some ripe teen pussy but I guess I can take your soul with me as well." The manbeast said handing me some wooden pipes which I gripped firmly, knowing this would be my toughest battle yet.

 No.1014

And then the goat jumped up on a hickory stump and said, "Goy, let me tell you hwut."

 No.1015

Luckily, I had briefly moonlighted as the second flautist in a neo-folk revival prog rock troupe, and I knew just what to do

 No.1016

And that's the story of why I killed myself.

 No.1017

"an interesting story" said the heathen god Pan, but that doesn't explain

 No.1018

how you will beat me?" "No, this is how WE will beat you!" I turned around and was shocked to see the Fem-Nuke, nude except a pink LAVA ME 2 Carbon Fiber acoustic guitar straddling her hips. I grabbed my panpipes and started blowing a performance akin to my first love. Seductive. Sweet. Sensual. Spicy. Note after note caressing the bond of the Fem-Nukes notes. Orgy-ist after Orgy-ist stopped orgisizing and turned to us, tears running down their eyes. A snippet to the National Review by robo-Armond White would later read:

 No.1025

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The Cheerleading Tryouts

By Armond White

Reginald Alexander Mosley's performance in cheerleading tryouts might have been impressive had he not devoted his career to playing so many weirdos. In the tryouts, produced by Dunk Accino and directed by the great god Pan (Accino's enabler on the snarky, gross-out Jack and Jill flicks), yet another addition to /lit/'s incomprehensible story, the gender-swapped boy-molester, is used as a shitposting showcase.

It is an overly self-conscious forced meme, like Gahoole's Geneva Illinois, and is similarly self-serious and humorless. Mosley and friends, still working from the nonsensical charisma of John Cena's sauteed saunterer in the Kinoplex, evoke Patrick Nelson's nihilism for maudlin irony.

Reginald Mosley (Becky) is a student at Jane Austen's All-Girls High School, an educational institution implied to be a fungal-induced hallucination. She's introduced crying as her head is slammed into a locker. But that isn't cliche enough; she really wants to be a cheerleader. More cliche: She suffers from chronic dyke-vision, the condition causing sudden, delusional beliefs that other girls are into her.

This handy diagnosis actually conveys the larger cultural problem of Nelson's television-themed imageboard. Generations raised on Nelson's "smartness" have lost the proper affect about issues of alienation, violence, and morality. Nelson's premise that everything is dark and ironic leads him to embrace post-irony, the symbolic hellhole that is tvch. Pan gives us the Gahoole Fights without beauty - a pseudo-artistic response that inappropriately normalizes zoomer ADHD.

Becky's disaffection is a given, and Mosley takes it as far as he can. Having done this sociopathic-reprobate act so many times (most recently earlier in this very novel where he pointlessly murdered his boy-slave Zekariah for comedic effect), he's made it his stock-in-trade. Mosley's effeminate, degenerate, mental defective is sometimes deranged-handsome like Sam Hyde or Jahans morphing into Charls Carrol. Worst irony of all: Mosley is a mime. After a hollow earth prison break, even his urethra bleeds. He breaks free from a hallucination only to fall straight into another one, a lazy 'it-was-all-a-dream' copout in place of good writing.

Mosley's precisely measured dementia exploits the cultural condition that tvch culture has already degenerated, especially now that even Zach Hasbrouk himself vision has officially abandoned the site, leaving it without any lolcows of its own save the rambling Yakuza. Mosley and Pan project our contemporary social disorder onto /lit/ty writing projects. The wannabe lesbian figure classically evokes German expressionism, but Mosley internalizes expressionist fear and revulsion - merely as a formulaic, commercial style. Flashbacks (about his meeting with John Cena and his battle with the Trocar Shnuke) show his imaginings as real: He's always inside them, which is either a cheat or inept.

Mosley savors Becky's anxiety (slicing Gahoola's face in a clumsily-edited copypasta), but the tryouts' irony overload leaves his mental and physical contortions inexpressive. (He takes up insanity where Gahoole left off, but Gahoole had better luck with Joka Baybee and Gahoole Gaming.) Becky's obsession with that dreamy John Cena (John Cena) detours into meta territory (the flashback at the Kinoplex and the escape from the hollow-Earth prison), which is merely another poster's fetish.

When Gahoole posed as Joka in his 2018 youtube video that accompanied his own descent into slapheadedness, his e-clout mania satirized the entire post-ironic meme culture - biting the hand that fed him. Since then, Nelson has created an audience that seems indebted to memeshitting cancer, inspiring posters such as Mosley and Pan who are incapable of analyzing their own motivations.

Mosley and Pan turn the /lit/ty book project into a sociopolitical mishmash. Guitar-wielding Fem-Nukes (chanting 'WE will beat you') at first suggest political satire, but Pan's position is unclear: Is this gender-swapped lolcow creation sympathetic? Is Becky's madness a metaphor for meme culture's dementia? Do the child molesting gym coaches represent Yakuza? Is the fat ogre who attacks Becky a fantasy of white-supremacist privilege? Zekariah's cameo doesn't fully account for his own recent death, just as the Dup-like figure of Mr. Accino exists in a gray area of tvch meme culture and conflicted narratives. (Dup BTFO, btw.) It becomes clear that Becky's neurological condition is not congenital, just an affectation - a desire to come off as special when she clearly is not.

When Becky tells Zach trying to wake her up, "I don't mind if i do," it is the ultimate homage to Nelson's nihilism. In the final shot, Becky is united with the Fem-Nuke, her ancient nemesis, and pulls an orgy out of her ass before transitioning into a poorly-edited Armond White review. This deliberately contrasts the earlier CWCville scene, reversing the mythic, moral foundation that /lit/'s masterpiece provided. Only suffering and madness remain. Dup BTFO'd Syndrome takes over now that Dup is gone. The cheerleading tryouts could have been the Dup BTFOing movie to BTFO all dups, but dup BTFOing has become a franchise…

 No.1026


"Christ brother, that's one helluva loquacious candy-assed nigger." And that comforting LITTY smile.

 No.1027

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"Fuck you, you buttfucking faggot" I said.
"Never," he diarreahes out his mouth, the eternal shithead laughing away as he buttfucked Christ.
"Get him off of me," cried my personal Lord and savior, Dunk going at it with both hands spreading Jesus's ass apart.
It reminded me of this fucking face I saw in a dream. It haunts me, its always haunted me since I saw it, colossal and yet insubstantial on, like a fundamental level, something like an iron works built into the earth with a town built around it, road to take in the iron, city built on that iron. Far apart but always together. Spinning.
It was a face that couldn't be real, yet it was, and looking at it made my penis hurt.
But I knew

 No.1028

that it was long past time to wake up from this daemoniacal fever dream. I felt the ethereal tendrils of the fungal hivemind dig deeper into my mind in response to my resolve, but I took a deep breath and bellowed the magic incatation I had learned in the jungles of Burma over two hundred years ago:

 No.1031

BIG STINKY

 No.1032

I said, and I defecated all over the floor, in my mind.
A symbolic action. An indecent act to tear through the thin facade of civility, and bring myself into the animal state. The primordial state, where the symbols lose all meaning, and language becomes but a sound.
This endless assault of cultural reference could not reach me here, for I was again monkey, and all I understood was kill, and mate, and banana.

 No.1033

>>1032
I was drawn to a place where time lost all meaning, unburdened but unquenchable, light and thus color dissolved. Losing all sensation, all meaning I decided to try and order a sandwich, something meaty with bacon, two big slices but signals crossed somehow in this other plane and my order was instead sent as a 9/11.
The plane hits the tower, all life was built in an instant for me to see this, all a cacophony of so many different goals and for one moment time stops before another plane hits the second tower.
The buildings collapse, the world astonished and heartbroken, grief turns to mourning but I have one thing to say "they ext one of us in the wreckage."
As if an illusion I came out of this cloud wearing the mask. Everyone was wearing the mask.
I'd go to the store and randomly add "for you" to things I said but it was like after the crash of those towers nobody understood I was a big guy.
So I knew I would have to make my mark, so people understood you wear the mask not for you but for those you care about. I stood up one day at the store, supported by green soda boxes, and said what my people have always said to find each other: "thr Holocaust didn't happen".
The fire rises.

 No.1034

As the fire rose, I was confronted by Mosquito Men. "The Mushroom plan included Smee, Dr. PAVELEER, and only one of you." I said letting them have vague notions of my plans. "Theyve come to grab your prize, the mushroom. You masked man" they said in synchronicity. "Bane?" (Mushroom
variants proper title), get them on board I'll call it in." Gahoole, John Cena, Farshnuke V6, and Zekariah forced the mosquito men and a hooded figure on board a third aircraft I had conveniently dreamt up. I pulled out my gun opened the aircraft door and pushed one of the mosquito men towards the open air.

 No.1035

The mosquitos tore holes in my skin and screamed, "This is your dream, you can do anything you want in your dreams," directly into my bloodstream. The blood boiled from my eyes as a child's toy piano began tinking just beyond the outermost reaches of my mind. I remember thinking that this felt very climactic, and wondered if the book would be ending soon, hopefully in time for my afternoon tea.

 No.1036

My attempts to control the illusions had failed. Knew I not my own mind? No, something had intruded upon the sanctity of my inner world. Another was here.
"Zekariah" I said. "You were supposed to be dead…"

 No.1037

"I knew when you left me to fend for myself in that cave it was with love in your heart. You needed me to grow into the boy I am today… You are everything to me… a brother, a father and a lover. I may only be nine." Here his voice cracked ironically. "But I want to be your nine year old… forever… Reginald Alexander Mosley… will you make me the happiest child in the universe and marry me?" He said stooping on one knee.

 No.1038

And then I knew it wasn't Zekariah at all. For my faithful boy slave and cock-sleeve would never suggest a thing as chaste as marriage.
"Who are you really, Zekariah?"

 No.1039

Pulling off the mask that so shrewdly kept his personage a secret, Al Pacino was now before me.
"Al?"

 No.1040

"yes, this is Al"

 No.1041

"I'm a doctor now, Al, and your results came back. You might want to take a seat."
Pacino sat down in the cave to listen to my diagnosis.
"Mr. Al, you got some disease or something thats making you into an Urkel."
"Shit, how long do I have?" the famously sweaty questioner questioned, his voice burning like a static charge through my brain with every word full of secret messages.
"Maybe one sentence, maybe two," but before even one sentence passed he has Urkeled.
He spoke in a cadence that could agitate any Reginald Val Johnson, big tittied nigger actor. Every word was breaking into my skull, shattering visions I once had and showing me a world I didn't want to believe. His words full of secret codes, demented and inchoate scripts that when executed restarted the universe around their utterance. Suddenly I saw the conspirators, several people in every town who existed retrieving strange signals from something beyond our understanding. The CIA, Jews, jannies, everything was incomparable to this dog headed monster with so many tits no man could escape. This was the type of thing ol paint-can-Rodney would understand, the screeching chaos extended like static over the airwaves over every channel while passing along the interstate, mean old animals found on the side of the road grilled up by hobos in the underpass and passing under not the stars but the static, unbearable sentences drawn from that chaos conspiracy mind of Urkel, drowning out meaning until all of us are his many-headed-many-titted tit-monster doing his bidding and riding his big-titted road, a road you sit in bed with at night and share your secrets, some little story as you do the math to determine how much of yourself you still need to keep from them, the road leaves your apartment by bike, sweater over her big titties.
The mystery is still out there, when I walk around at night I wonder who's on his payroll, who is under orders and who just passes information up the line back to Wisconsin, some large room, dark except for the lights on the many desks, lights that never go out because they never quit transcribing this information, these old women who work for the conspiracy. Their papers go up to the man upstairs, old, grey headed, short sleeved work shirt, he locks the door to masturbate, after he thinks how strange it is that this room's importance is not merely that he organizes the greatest conspiracy of all time in here but also that he jacks off in there.
He had to get back to work, these secret messages wouldn't encode themselves.

 No.1042

He spoke those words. So much meaning, and yet so little. It was as if all the answers were being explained to me in a language I couldn't fully grasp. Something half remembered from the place between dreaming and awakening.

 No.1043

My name is Adolf Bashar Gadafi, but you can call me Dup. Yes dear reader, the Dup you have read throughout Mosleys ramblings. Now, our paths will intertwine once more Im sure, as we both share a common goal. The BANE mushroom (Big, Aircraft, Neutralizing, Eagent). A little bit about me:

 No.1044

I was born in Kebabistan, a citizen of the neo-Soviet state. As a child I worked as a humble uranium miner. It was good work, but as I matured to manhood, I yearned for more. I quickly rose through the ranks of our non-hierarchical social structure, and by my 25th year, shortly before our state fell to the global British Mega Empire. I had arranged to head an expedition to discover the entrance to mythical the inner Earth

 No.1045

The work took years, to make money I had an army of men sell their asses to fags, then we blackmailed them with all the buttfucking to get them to also use their scientific expertise to our advantage, these buttfucking scientists helped find the Asymetric Synchronous Schism to launch the Fusilage Unified Coordinated Kinetic maneuver, the ASSFUCK maneuver which

 No.1046

acted as a portable space elevator, assfucking planet to planet with refugees, military and drugs. The British Empire was a force to be feared. The Schism was extendable into infinity. Anyone that used the elevator was compressed into an atom. Using a series of magnetic fields and radiation we were able to create a Gauss gun that was capable of reaching 33555000000000 m/ph or 5000 times the speed of light. It was here I will make a brief remark on Reginald as it was our first meeting.

 No.1047

Reginald was a legend. His name carried great weight and fear for we citizens of the neo-Soviet state. I always imagined him standing seven foot tall, and crushing a man's head like a grapefruit. It was said he had killed over a thousand men, and done unspeakable things to a thousand more.
I'd never known my own father, of course, and to my immature mind Reginald had always seemed like a father. A terrible, powerful father, ever looming over me, commanding fear and respect, like any true Kebabistan father should.

 No.1048

>>1047
But Reginald had a softer side back then. Often he liked to cavort, to sing in merriment if the spirit took hold, and to grapple people just walking down the street. What we didn't know was that secretly he went around dressed in a black hood late at night spanking unescorted women. Also he was a brutal killer but the random spankings would have really freaked us out.

 No.1049

And my name is Edgar Athelstan von Maupassant. My story has nothing to do with Mosley or Gadafi, and I've never in all my life so much as set foot in the British Mega-Empire or the Inner Earth. But I did stick a pickle up my bum once.

 No.1050

It lodged inside my anus and caused sepsis after the vinegar reacted with my blood and other festering oozes from previous delving into my man cave. I died shortly afterwards, but I entered the dark dimension and have been tasked with providing guidance and/or malfeasance towards young Adolf. My first words to him were thus:When a dark age comes, hold the light inside. That's where it lives anyway. There are forces of darkness-and beings of darkness-and they are real and have always been around us. They're part of the dance, just as you and I arethey're just listening to different music. This may be the most troubling truth we will ever know. Many of us live most of our lives and brush up against this reality only rarely. It is far from pleasant, but wishing it were otherwise will not make it so. I am with you forever, now pick up that pickle and give it to me.

 No.1051

Hello, yes. This is Gadafi again. Don't know who this guy is, but I don't know if I want to associate with him.

 No.1052

My name is John Snake. I will tell my tale here, while there is much to the story I would rather I hadn't done, but only God can judge me. Now on to the story so you can judge me.
I was born unnaturally, butt-first out my Mother's butt, who happened to be my Father's Father, my Father fucked his Father, impregnated him with a butt baby, me, and shit me out.
They chose to take their new, obscenity of a family on a cruise along the coast of Africa when the ship sank, apparently the last words of the captain were "I never should of allowed this crime against the laws of God upon my ship."
I washed ashore in Africa and would be raised by animal men. Animal men were stinky, they always wanted to dance, and their shamans would foretell a day in the future when there would be a two-wheeled conveyance free to anyone who wanted.
I was raised to dance like them but I never believed their fantasy about free two-wheeled conveyances until the British mega-empire appeared. There were humans all over riding their "bicycles". I helped the animal men to some of these, but this started a war. Animal men with bicycles were no match to the British mega-Empire.
And so my journey continue

 No.1053

but funnily enough it continued in the shadow realm aka dark dimension. I died sometime after being in Africa, by a group of wild niggers who mistook me for part of a British Envoy. After a brief molestation I was necklaced with a tire and set ablaze. My soul was shot into the air and transported onto Adolf Bashar Gaddafi, as some sort of spiritual advisor. He now looked like a vrazy man with 2 miniature neerdowells on his shoulders, which one of us was evil? Only time could tell.

 No.1055

And thus, I, Adolf Bashar Gadafi, was burdened with my spiritual guides. I haven't spoken to anyone about them since my ASSFUCK days. I remember how they called me a schizo with an anal fixation, and forced me to take my meds, which caused my companions to temporarily disappear. Ah, I spent seven long years in that Burmese mental asylum, where I was tenderly molested by old Reginald on a semi-daily basis. I was eventually discharged and stopped taking my meds, and my companions returned to my shoulders, but I never forgot… Reginald.

When the news came of Reginald and Zekariah's ill-fated expedition to the Inner Earth, I leapt at the opportunity to unravel the mystery of their disappearance. I contacted the Crown for permission to go after them, and now, four months after Reginald's last transmission, I stood staring at the ancient iron door, wondering at what unholy horrors might lie on the other side.

 No.1057

"Go on, open the door faggot" sneered Edgar. "Just watch out for any BUG-EYED NIGGERS!" added John. I knew this would be my first clue into "The Disapperance of Reginald Mosley" and I braced for what challenges lay ahead.

 No.1058

"Explain one thing to me" said Edgar. "Did your guys dig this hole or discover it? Because I'm confused on some of the details of this story."
"Shut up!" interjected John. "No one cares about this shit. They just want to get back to the smut!"
For the life of me, I couldn't say who I agreed with. Maybe the truth lay somewhere in-between.

 No.1059

"Enough exposition, both of you," I snapped, "Let's do this shit."

And so, I opened the door,

 No.1060

And walked into a modest Italian restaurant

 No.1061

"Ey yo Tone," I cried out in a thick Brooklyn accent, "Gimme da pepperoni pasta, will ya?"

"Ooh, get me something with pickles in it," whispered Maupassant in my ear.

"Shut up ya nincompoop," I whispered back at him as I took my usual seat, "Or one a' these days I'll putcha on ice."

"Eyy, Adolf," said Tone as he came out of the kitchen with a heaping plate of the requested dish, "If it ain't my favorite customer. How ya doin' Adolf?"

"Top secret," I replied, "I'd tells ya, but then I'd have ta putcha on ice, see?"

"Oh, I sees," said Tone, "Guess you's is pretty important nowadays, eh? Enjoy ya pepperoni pasta, and make sure ya leave me a decent tip, will ya?"

"You know I always do, Tone," I reassured him.

I ate my pepperoni pasta in silence for the next several hours. Finally, I got up, left a large deuce on the table, and backflipped out of the restaurant. I landed in a small, cozy cavern, dimly lit with the comforting glow of the gas lanterns that had given me so much comfort during my boyhood in the uranium mines.

I turned around to continue my journey, but was shocked when my very eyes beheld none other than

 No.1062

Every nigger ever.
A writhing mass of coons following me. I had to run for it before their gorilla noses smelled me.

 No.1063

NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER 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NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER

 No.1065

I counted every one

 No.1066

But the niggers wouldn't stop, they just kept chasing me into the night. However,

 No.1067

this was all a part of the plan

 No.1070

"I TOLD YOU TO WATCH OUT FOR NIGGERS!" fumed John. Suddenly a Nubian headfuck seperated himself from the crowd. "I AM THE GREAT YAKUB! YOU SHALL NOT PASS MY MYRIAD UNTIL YOU ANSWER MY RIDDLES THREE! PUNY DUP YOU WILL SUBMIT!" he began. "TYRONE GREW UP FATHERLESS. HOW COULD THIS BE? A MAN COMING FROM NOTHING? WE SHALL SEE." he rapped.

 No.1072

"I must ask you to answer my riddle," I said.
"Bobby Fisher was amazing at chess, but when he asked me what the greatest strategy in chess was, I was holding court at the model UN at the time, I told him the only unbeatable strategy was to not move, or glue your pieces to the board so the opponent cannot knock them over.
"He decided that he would take me up on the offer and he stood completely still not moving at all. Everyone in the room got quiet, so quiet you could hear a pin drop. He stood there, unwavering, unblinking, I think even on a molecular level he stopped his body from performing entropy so even his very molecules just held still.
"Of course it was all pointless, he could hold as still as he wanted I had already glued all the pieces to the board while he wasn't looking so I was unbeatable.
"Though he didn't want to admit to total defeat and just stayed there statue-like, the world went on around him and soon got used to this still-man standing there. At some point someone lifted him up and carried him to a closet and they eventually covered him in rugs and brooms and just forgot about him.
"Now, if you can answer my question Niggerdamous: what were you talking about again? And before you answer you might notice I've glued you to the floor."

 No.1073

"Bravo! Young Dup, Bravo!. You've answered the first question, yo. Absence, being the father, perhaps he thinks, why even bother?. As for glueing me down? Dont frown, clown my replacements abound." He rapped again. One of the niggers close to me began to elongate his head into Yakubs gargantuan porportions. A closer glance revealed some sort of retarded features. "A down syndrome nigga, who woulda guessed. Oh, well onto the next test. It's important to note that this group, and I quote commit 52% of all the murders in the Galaxy, which is astounding when you take into consideration the fact of this travesty that they make up 12-13% of the population barely occupying a nation. It gets even more daring when you start considering the fact the bulk of these caring… group commiting these murders are probably ages 18-40 non European Herders. Which is probably around an estimated 6-7% of the population that have no occupation which means that around 7% of X are commiting around 50% of the murders and forced sex. Who is this group?

 No.1074

IT'S NOT ALs -ANYMORE-

IT'S DUNKs

 No.1075

-silence-







"Corrreeccctt!" Beamed Yakub

 No.1077

He waved a hand and the rest of his Nubian Comrades vanished. They had been an illusion. He stood now alone, and I noticed for the first time he wore the dark robe of the mushroom cult.

 No.1081

"Now that Ive cleared all the frump, its time for my exposition dump: Where are the white women at? Cats wearing hats, getting high as bats off a drug thats the scat. It grows deep in some cave perhaps chased by our colloquial knave. Could it be here? Youll have to ask the queer… himself. Who built the pyramids long ago? The only hint Ill give is it wasnt the kikes, no." Yakub asked mysteriously.

 No.1082

"I hate riddles" Said Edgar in my left ear

 No.1085

Then, as if on cue Armond White appeared: "allow me to prepare you for the 'en passant' if only slightly. I know you've been watching me, it's why I've been leaving these codes for you in my articles for you. Only you would read the National Review AND my fag magazine writing to know what I have to say. Can't you see, it was always me, but now you must answer my question to find the BANE mushroom."
Before he could talk more I just started choking that gay nigger. I don't know what came over me but I choked and choked until there was the fleeting glimpse of life below his ebony, Spielberg loving flesh.
No, I couldn't kill him, I would stop, or…

 No.1086

I relented. The memory of all those times Armond had BTFO'd Harry Potter and affirmed the greatness of DW Griffith came flooding into my mind like an unwelcome hug. My fingers loosened their grasp, and Armond gasped for air. I stood up and looked away.

"The only reason you're still alive is because of my passing whim," I scoffed, "Now get back to space, gaynigger, before I change my mind."

With that, I pulled up my hoodie and flew away from the scene. About five minutes into my flight, however, I remembered that I can't fly, and to my great surprise the place I crash-landed in was none other than

 No.1087

The old barracks of the Neo-Soviet, non-hierarchical, ruling by consent, non-forceful, people's Death Police.
"Wow. How did this get here?" farted John in my ear.

 No.1088

All the old comrades were there. There was old Grobsny Swervenvch, Gribsny Gab, Sukya Bylat, Vavva Vavavvava, Vodka Chernobyl, GREM, and Gahoolebachev the Tyrant himself.

 No.1089

GREM brought down his adjudicator's axe. "FLABBYT" he said "FLABBYT FLABBYT FLABBYT FLABBYT FLABBYT FLABBYT FLABBYT", as they dragged the gypsy girl into the center of the room, and tore off her petticoats with their gruff oily hands.

 No.1091

The crowd took a step back. The girl now free from their forceful jostling staggered to regain her footing. She stood in stunned silence in the center of that vast and freezing hall. The hungry eyes of all of the men upon her pale and puckered skin. She wore nothing but a pair of Spider-Man socks.
"Capitalist contraband" spoke the accusing voice of Gahoolebachev the Tyrant.
"No! Wait!" she cried, seeming to come to life all at once. "I took these off a corpse! Y-You can have them!".
But before another word could be uttered, the Tyrant was upon her with the branding irons and the croquet hammer.

 No.1093

I got some popcorn from Gribsny and settled down to watch the show.

 No.1094

File: 1612601688261.jpeg (59.12 KB, 828x862, 414:431, A9A45329-5FCA-48E7-94B5-4….jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

I was offered the irons, as a mere formality, but I took them up.
"This is way too hot to pretend otherwise," and began branding our symbol into her ass. Naked flesh, extreme masochism, and eventually she did the right thing and took off her capitalism socks to show feet.
Her feet were glorious.
I think back in them now, exquisite arches, flillgre foals, expensive eyelets on shoes off to the side like sand caked beach, we were alone on an island of misadventure.
"Finish the job, l Gahoolebechev squawked from his swiney and sinewy vocal coards. I looked in her eyes, raptured in burning and capitalistic passion, I gave her the new Soviet answer to an empty stomach and bifurcated her with the clamps.she would survive, forever in a wheelchair enchanting acrotomophiliacs.
The room cheered and they ushered me into a room to speak about the plan, supposedly.

 No.1095

>>1094

GO TO BED IN A CASKET JOHN BARNHILL/TAO LIN/MEGAN BOYLE YOU INCORRIGIBLE FAGGOTS

 No.1096

>>1094
and i…………….. i just………….. found out
I don't want to derail here, but holy shit was a soulless attention-seeking whore.

 No.1097

>>1095
>>1096
Oh based is this the part where the book entropies into a bunch of disjointed posts unrelated to the story?

niggers niggers AAAAAAAAAA xD ssgaghlovnszxzzxvhjjjtv lol|

 No.1098

So anyway, I was in this cave, right

 No.1099

And I had to cover myself in vaseline, see

 No.1100

I covered myself in creamy buck juice, see

 No.1101

'Cause there wasn't no vaseline, right

 No.1102

And I had to squeeze into a tight hole, comprende?

 No.1103

And then I started screaming GABAGOOL

 No.1104

For I was back in little Italy.

 No.1105

23 years old, and working undercover, spying on none other than the boy molesting anti-hero Reginald Alexander Mosely. I saw him coming down that old cobbled road. A small time local mobster in a vice grip under one muscled arm, and a live pig under another. He spotted me in the crowd and we made eye contact.
"Haaah! Giuseppe, lad!" He bellowed. " you'll never guess

 No.1106

>>1105
I just became the point of view character of the story again!"

And so it was. A great deal had happened since my transcendent escape from the fungal hivemind. I, Reginald Alexander Mosley, had traversed the circles of the Inner Earth for months, with only worms and moss for food and spore-induced hallucinations for company. And now I had reached Little Italy, the final circle before the ultimate center and the great autism-granting mushroom which would clear my name.

I gripped my pig securely, bid good Guiseppe a good day, and moved forward to exceute my master plan.

 No.1108

Hah, poor boy, I thought. He probably doesn't know I know his name is really Adolf not Guiseppe, and he's a fragment of a memory of a Neo-Soviet spy. He probably thinks he's really here and that I didn't call up a memory of him, so that he might call up a memory of me and manifest me now in this very spot. Fifteen years younger, and looking great, I might add. He probably has no inkling that his physical body is where it has been for the past decade, give or take, clad in a dark robe and knelt down in hypnotic worship around a fleshy rectal outgrowth of a fungal network that farts spores in his face night and day.
Now, I have a mushroom to find. A mushroom of autism by the name of BANE. My pig squeals in excitment. I think he smells it over there, just beyond that

 No.1109

And then me and Louis CK suckled lovingly on a

BIG

YT

COCK

 No.1110

SURE hunch that it was beyond that revolving restaurant door. I dodged Italian after Italian wading my way through pools of spaghetti and meatballs. "Hey Franco, Imma put this mushroom on this pizza. Gonna give it that real panache, funny lookin mushroom greaseball all green and moldy. Just like your sister huh! Aaaaahhhhhh" I heard as I got closer to the door

 No.1111

And so my master plan went into action. I kicked down the door and released the pig, which bolted into the kitchen and demanded to know which, if any, of the cooks were NEETS. Louis CK ran in after the pig, berating all within earshot for their teeny weeny dago peenies.

 No.1112

Then it was wave after wave of American bikers. Too heavy to be an actual threat I broke a nose, twisted an arm, bent a leg the wrong way, these men were fat, prolapsed rectums from shitting out their traditional blues music menu food always finding some blues bar with. Dumb nigger pretending what he was doing was cool whole these fat guys just ate and ate and ate until they had to shit so hard they bled. Just one after another boomers in leathers resorted to violence while being ill equipped to take an actual beating. Arms pointing the wrong way, legs bleeding from twisting the wrong direction and me screaming as I just brought my knee down shattering the old men's bones, they openly cried realizing they had been used, but they would never say the words that they weren't a real gang and nobody gave a shit what they did. Later I heard they all hiung themselves after finally getting up off the floor but now I was ready to fight the big man.

 No.1113

Blocking my path was a shadowed figure, 2 homunculi standing guard on each shoulder. I grabbed a bikers lighter and lit a cigarette, the shadow coming into view. "Adolf? I thought you were my comrade? Why now?" I whispered sheepishly.

 No.1114

"My only comrade is the Neo-Soviet State," growled Adolf, "That mushroom is the collective property of our propertyless true socialist society."

"But can't you see that the Neo-Soviets are evil?" I implored.

"From my point of view boy molesters are evil," replied Adolf.

"Then you are lost," I sighed.

Reluctantly, I unsheathed my katana and prepared to do battle with my once-beloved protege.

 No.1115

As I prepared my final adieu to my once lover a Bugs type of Bunny wearing a trenchcoat Soviet-Style and smoking a pipe North-Zyklonian Style barged in from what I assume was the storage room in the back of the kitchen. "NYAAAHH, WHATS UP DOC?" he asked putting on lipstick, a tired look on his face. "What the fu-" I began but he suddenly kissed me on the lips and blurted "TRUE COMMUNISM HAS NEVER BEEN TRIED." I was beginning to like this wascally rabbit. Adolf on the other hand was irate.

 No.1116

I made to troll the bizzare, gay rabbit into submission, but I quickly found that I could not. By dressing up as a girl and kissing me, the foul creature had rendered me unable to troll!

The rabbit proceeded to initiate its brainwashing program and began to lecture at me about the glories of true communism and the dangers of someone called "Drumpf." I could feel the True Communist power seething through my veins, and if I knew that if I didn't do something soon I would turn into yet another mindless pawn of the Neo-Soviet State.

I had no choice. Up til now I had restrained myself, but now, faced with a fate worse than death, I had only one possible recourse.

I had to utter the killing word:

 No.1117

DUP BTFO

 No.1118

The rabbit fell dead at my feet. The word had worked, but I knew that he wasn't the only one that had heard it.

I looked up to see my old friend Adolf Bashar Gadaffi - also known to me with the utmost affection as "Dup" - clutching at his toupee and gasping for breath.

 No.1119

A wanton scream pierced my ears as Adolf began to fuse with the 2 shadows on his back. Spikes grew jagged across his torso, and his face started to cave in. As his skin turned coal black I was confronted by a massive eyeless abomination with three mouths.

 No.1120

"Gosh, are you alright?"

 No.1121

"Yeah bro I'm good."

 No.1122

The mouths spoke to each other

 No.1123

"Mr Mosley sir, I have a question" spoke the mouth in the left. "The part where you were in the cave. Was that before it after you were in CWCville?"
"No no, I have a question" said the mouth on the right. "Did you really meet John Cena, or was that a dream sequence?"

 No.1124

"Uh, okay so the chronology of this story is a midge discombobulated," I answered, "But, uh, I think the scenes at the kinoplex and in CWCville were both flashbacks of some kind. So correct me if I'm wrong but I think it's before, and yes."

 No.1125

"Mr Mosley" said the third mouth. "I would like to point out several grammatical errors you have made throughout your memoirs, and also that you have some spaghetti sauce in your moustache" .

 No.1126

"Oh you poor, midwitted simpleton, I'll have you know that these so-called 'grammatical errors' are in fact intentional stylistic decisions on the part of myself, the artist. And as for the spaghetti sauce," I grinned, "I'm saving that for later."

 No.1127

"Now explain to us one last thing" spake the three orifices in unison. "if Zekariah is dead, why is he standing behind you? "

 No.1128

This situation perfectly reminded me of that time I got life without parole for beaning a man with a sock full of keys. He died and they wanted to take my life from me, but I started painting, painting so good they could see I had been rehabilitated and it was a greater crime to keep me in jail than to free me and my artist's soul. And that was when I was in the perfect position to pull off a caper, now a wealthy artist excon they would never expect me to break bad.
But then, when I finally arrive at the bank with my sock of keys my art dealer was in line right behind me. That's exactly how I feel now as my borborygmus gas escapes.

 No.1130

"Zekariah, you have been absent for months, and all I see are bland facsimiles or straight impostors. We are indeed at the precipice of where this all began… the first date, where I took you to get your face stuffed with creamy garlic mushroom herb pasta. But look at us now Im the one with sauce on my face! I just want you back Zekariah even if our trials and tribulations repeat ad infinitum. Its better than life with out you." I confessed blushing for the first time in 40 years.

 No.1131

"You have passed the test, Reginald. You have proven yourself a TRUE and HONEST heartsweet, and most worthy, and now it is time to reveal to you my true identity. You see, there never was a Zekariah. Some call me Oomaboonga. Some call me G'th'g'd'th. Some call me Jerret Jerret Ruddy old Jerret. Some call me Sepsis. Some call me Quoon. Some call me Michael (it's a nice name). And some call me BANE, for I am none other than the guardian spirit of the mythical mushroom of autism, and I have been with you all the way"

 No.1133

"Even when I commited those grievous sins to the star-nuns of KlaxxxinZy? Or when I killed that mother Gliblold to eat her infant? Or when I genocided the entire Nu-Amazonian tribe of Venus? Why didnt you intervene? And more importantly, why did you encourage me?" I asked, surprised.

 No.1134

"Yes, the potential for great autism has always been within you"

 No.1136

I got a little boner not gonna lie.

 No.1137

I was peaking with excitement.
"So, will you grant me the mushroom of autism, so I may work off my debt to the crown, and also defeat the Great Farshnuke and the legions of CWC, and end their demented insurgency of the spiritual plane?" I asked



"No, it's not that simple…"

 No.1138

"For, you see, the fated words of prophecy have been uttered in my presence…

DUP

B
T
F
O

 No.1139

"Now," said BANE, "There's just one more thing you have to do. I think you know what it is."

 No.1140

He began to unzip his pants and as he pulled out his uncut flaccid penis I was taken aback by the smell and the size. Comparing this God against Zek's teeny weeny Euroasian peeny was like an ants feeler to Titus the Mighty's. But there was also a thick layer of smegma causing phismosis. "No-fap" he said. As I was readying my mouth with salivical lubricant I was interrupted by Adolf who had all 3 of his mouths sucking his shaft at once. "Mmmmmmmmmm, gooooooood, perhaps you are also BIG enough for the mushroom" moaned BANE in pleasure.

 No.1141

And so, now that Adolf… Dup… was positioned precisely in front of BANE, I indeed knew what I had to do. I dropped my trusty nippon steel katana to the ground, and drew instead from my underpants a crusty sock filled with keys. Neither the fellatioer nor the fellotioee took notice as I drew my lethal key sock back behind Dup's head… and whipped it forward with all my might.

Dup's skull was propelled forward into BANE's pelvis at the speed of sound, obliterating both bones at the same time, and killing them both instantly.

Murderer of both my most faithful mollestation victims, I was now utterly alone in this world. I would have despaired, but I was overcome by a soft, white light.

 No.1142

"Yees, well done Reginald! Well done!"
A white bearded old man was descending onto the scene.

 No.1143

We all took off out clothes and broke the laws of man, and God.

 No.1144

"Wait, so we're going to pirate the mushroom?" I asked.
"That's about the size of it," answered the old man as he opened up his holographic laptop and navigated to The Pirate Bay.
"Piracy is illegal you know," I told him.
"Look, do you want the damn thing or not?" he demanded.
"All right, all right, fine," I conceded, "But why do we have to be naked for this?"
The old man spat, "'Tain't my place to question."

 No.1146

"okay, the first thing we're going to do is download a program called LimeWire."

 No.1149

SUDDENLY

 No.1150

We downloaded LimeWire.

 No.1151

"All right now I'm just gonna click on this link here," said the old man, "And… oh fucking damnit there's only one seeder."

"Uh, is that a bad thing?" I asked.

The old man pointed at his holographic screen to a place where it read "ETA: 987 years, 3 days, 6 hours, 0 minutes, 31 seconds remaining."

 No.1152

Luckily, there was an ad to download Limewire Pro. I quickly clicked the godsend, entered my Capitol One Mastercard number and restarted the download.
"All right now I'm just gonna click on this link here," said the old man, "And… oh fucking damnit there's only one seeder."

"Uh, is that a bad thing?" I asked.

The old man pointed at his holographic screen to a place where it read "ETA: 987 years, 3 days, 6 hours, 0 minutes, 31 seconds remaining."

 No.1153

After some looking the BANE mushroom was streaming on 9anime but what did that do for me? However after searching online I found a Mega link that had my quested item. In moments I would be concluding this journey with this other man, naked, and as I thought about it this all seemed gay and pointless.
A deep depression took hold and wouldn't let go.

 No.1154

Did I even want this mushroom? What was my goal here? Become a gibbering autistic, so I can fight an autism war on the astral plane for all eternity?
My Queen? Ha! I don't care about the whims of that old bag clone, and her entire armed forces couldn't take me in if they wanted to. I came here for one reason and one reason alone, and it was the call to adventure.
Here I stand, in this dream within a dream illusory Little Italy. Strange and abstract shadows of my past haunt me. It's the most wonderfully bizarre adventure of my life, and perhaps my true calling lies deeper. Perhaps I am here, not to survive this land, but to conquer it.

 No.1156

And with that thought, the old man laid his hand upon my thigh.

"What?" I demanded, impatiently.

"You've earned the mushroom at last," he replied.

"Why, what ever do you mean?"

"The real mushroom," he said, "It was inside of you all along. It's the kind of thing that comes with realizing what you truly desired all along."

The old man reached behind my ear and pulled from it a putrescent, glowing mushroom.

"Take it, my friend," he told me, "With this, you'll have the autism to soar through all the dark places under the Earth for the rest of time."

Trembling, I took the coveted mushroom of BANE and held it to my breast.

"Is that really what I wanted?" I asked.

"I dunno," shrugged the old man as he faded from existence, "Have fun lol."

 No.1158

I took a bite and BAM I back in CWCVille. But it had transformed. Littered on the ground were thousands if not millions of Hedgehogs and other furry animals. In the distance I could hear thunder and bombs going off. DONG DONG DONG sounded a bell. I turned and there was an old man. "You look awfully familiar…" I said simultaneously to his he wink and thumbs up. He pointed into the fiery sky and I saw

 No.1159

Some kind of enormous inflated squirrel, drifting through the skies, and defecating

 No.1160

and cumming.

 No.1161

Great steamy wads, rushing toward the ground, and exploding with immense force. Each blast laying waste to the toybox world of CWCville. Scattering brightly coloured debris, and anthromorphised limbs.

 No.1162

I started to hold my posture in a disjointed fashion. Without making eye contact with anyone and mumbling something about diaper wearing baby male foxes under my breathe I ran towards the squirrel with all my might arms limp behind my back to increase my aerodynamics. I screamed REEEEEEEEEE DOUBLE JUMP and fell over while trying to slash at the squirrel with my nails. I started sweating and a brown smear appeared down my pant leg, moving slowly towards the ground. My blood taking full effect of the BANE mushroom I shouted to the squirrel "In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony FARSHNUKES blessing. But because, I am enlightened by my own intelligence." Suddenly the squirrel turned towards me.

 No.1165

Then it started to snow and I pulled out my bag of Colonel Sanders original recipe chicken, I keep it in a ziplock bag so it doesn't get everywhere when I want to eat it later.
The thing about bag chicken is it lets you keep from getting grease all over everything if, and only if, you remember to only use one hand on the chicken and use a wet nap to clean your fingers of chicken grease afterwards. However, with this snow I could now leave my bag chicken out to get chilled, thereby removing the grease from the chicken thanks to the transitive properties of cold plus original recipe chicken.
What I didn't plan on while cooling my chicken was

 No.1166

How suddenly fascinated I was by Doctor Who. Have you seen it? It's a wonderful programme. It chronicles the misadventures of an enigmatic outsider who travels time and space in a special ship called the TARDIS (that stands for Time And Relative Dimension In Space). It has been running since 1963, and the title character has been played by a variety of different actors. My favourite being acclaimed pantomime actor Colin Baker, who embodied the character in the mid to late nineteen eighties. I feel he really brought a distinct alien otherness to the role, that I identify with as someone who doesn't understand social boundaries or women. And this brings me to my next point

 No.1167

Russel T Davies fucking ruined Doctor Who! He took what was once eccentric and strange little cultural artifact, that seemed to uniquely understand the experience of autistic men such as myself, and he remolded it into something for women. FUCKING WOMEN! The absolute state of it now! It disgusts me! Women literally ruin everything, and need to be gatekept away from male spaces like science fiction and video games (perhaps through the utility of some kind of novel "gamer gate", but I digress), so that their sanctity might be preserved from the plague! From the infection of women!
I shouted to the skies with a passion I had never before known.

 No.1168

And as I did REEEEEEEE, I felt the power well up inside of me. The ground cracked and rumbled, and up thrust it's way through the soil a great cast iron head, followed by a strong and sturdy shaft. At first just one, but then another, and then another, until all across the broken landscape came my enormous black iron members. They criss-crossed, forming a mighty grid, or "gate" of sorts, and surrounded the great squirrel zeppelin. They tightened their grip until the behemoth was held fast and immobile.

 No.1169

The beast cried out in fury, and fired off enraged jets of projectile vomit and excreta, which erupted in a cacophony of impotent explosions, but it was to no avail. The "gamer gate" drew tighter, biting and cutting into the thing's mangy flesh, until it let out a final shrill yell, and then like a balloon, it simply burst, showering the landscape in a flood of raspberry ice cream flavoured gore.

 No.1170

The TROCARSHNUKE appeared. His form constantly morphing into different people every 10 seconds. "Youll notice I look different, maybe I changed my hair?" He said morphing into my mother. "I have become every person you have ever known. Strike me down and you strike them down instead. Wiping them from history." He continued morphing into Gerzo, the rebellion leader of Bakkkus. "I hope you can see the implications." He started to walk towards me.

 No.1171

I didn't really get it, so I summoned up an iron cock, and blasted it into his face.

 No.1172

He morphed into a homeless black man. "Get it now punk? You just obliterated him from history! You murderer! Fiend! Vile! No!" I grinned and conjured an even bigger Iron Dick.

 No.1173

"You disgust me with your patriarchal symbolism!" he spat

 No.1174

He transformed into the President of Earth, an elderly, orange skinned, repitilian and threw himself onto my newe, sharper iron cock, btfoing himself. "Perhaps you DO have your uses." He grinned.

 No.1175

The sky turned purple, his face thrust into mine invading every bit of privacy I deserved, "do you have a gag reflex son?"

 No.1176

Oh no. He had taken the form of my father.

 No.1177

Before we go on, perhaps a short word on my father.
He was born one Alistair Marquis Dr Mosley. Heir to a family of moderately successful merchant fishermen. He had a slight deformity on the third toe of his right foot, which no one ever noticed but himself. He enjoyed the music of Abba, and for fun he would play board games. Perhaps Scrabble or Guess Who. When he was in a bad mood, which was most days, my father liked to hit me.

 No.1178

"I want you to know that in my mind I have a picture, a picture only I know of, whether personal or significant, nobody else knows what this picture is in my head. I will carry it to my grave never giving this idea to anyone else, but I do have this picture I carry in my mind. No matter what you try in your life you will never guess my picture, you will never know."
So I knew there was no step I could take that would get me closer to him, my father. Was he forever confounding to me because I didn't know the full picture? The reality was afterwards I was left with the sloughed off skin of our relationship dripped over me, it's gray pallor now the color of my life.
But what luck, he appears to be back.

 No.1183

"Father…" I said in soft, low voice. "Does he have ginger hair?"

 No.1184

"No!" Shouted my father, and pelted me with a loose handful of bait. "Try harder, you impudent dullard!"
"Glasses then? Maybe he wears glasses?"
My father struck me with the blunt end of his fisherman's harpoon.
"Father, please! I'm sorry! I just can't do it. I can't guess who!"

 No.1186

It reminded me of Greg, from America. Greg would always find some object like a chair and pretend to hump it, everyone would start clapping, then he'd yell: "I'm the king of chair-fucking." Everyone would hoot and laugh and he'd find something else to hump and yell about his royal powers to hump that thing.
Or maybe it reminded me of Felix, he'd take long objects and pretend they were his dick and when people took notice he'd yell "hey, I'm banana dick" if it was a banana or "hey, I'm TV tray dick" if he had grabbed a TV tray and used it as a phallus.
Or Barry who would pretend to be shitting things and, well, you get my drift about these Americans and how they pretended things were other things to great applause.

 No.1189

But the Fathershnuke caught me trying to narratively escape into irrelevant wistful memories again, and he struck me with his fisherman's pole. I screamed, nautically, as my father sang a sea shanty, and started to climb the rigging.

 No.1190

I opened my paw and a crow flew out from my wrist just then. I was crying and my fursuit was beginning to soak with the tears of a thousand lonely nights. How could I know? How could I ever know the embrace of a woman, when all I could think about was how much I wanted to blast fat ropes into a vaporeon? A fictional creature? I turned away from the mizzenmast, no longer intereseted in continuing the charade.

 No.1191

I felt the sadness. The sadness of one born into the wrong body. One born into the wrong world. Then sadness turned to frustration. To rage. I beat my shaking fists on the ground. That hotness welling up inside of me, and sounds that I couldn't identify erupting from deep within. I cursed the heavens that bore me, and I reached out to rend existence itself.

 No.1192

I grasped the Fathershnukes neck and pressed firm, raising him into the air. Tears rolling down my eyes knowing this would be the one way to end my existence as I knew it. Tighter and tighter I clenched but I felt no lifeforce leaving my body. The Fathershnuke collapsed to the ground limp like a ragdoll. He transformed again into a blue gaseous mass. "It would appear the cat is out of the bag now, your mother was a whore. Your pseudo father a cuckold. Now you can begin your quest to find your real father, if thats the path you choose." the Farshnukes voice was inside my head.

 No.1193

"Farshnuke" I asked. "How do you cope with all of this autism?"

 No.1194

"Reginald, I am this autism" he said

 No.1195

I suddenly realized I was hallucinating, heavy drugs, can't remember what, or for that matter, when. Farshnuke's chest burst forth and outpoured gargantuan dwarves that began chanting in unison with the rhythm of the pulsations of my prosthetic cock. Screams came from somewhere, and I started siezing as the waves of warm nascence washed over my being, reborn in pale mauve colors.

 No.1196

File: 1614133321215.jpg (71 KB, 1600x900, 16:9, 180828043530-louis-ck-surp….jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

It was then the big black steed came into the room, his gargantuan pulsating horse cock throbbing with excitement as he approached me. As I laid on the floor a mix of dread and anticipation came over me, enough to stimulate my limp, curled, feminine penis for what was about to happen.

"And you are?" I asked meekly.

"Nuffin. Dindu Nuffin, of the Kangs tribe."

 No.1198

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

 No.1200

, the obsidian buck expelled into my face. My heart sank. I knew what was coming next. My fetish for braps had been reported to the high counsel, and now this sculpted, stiff bull was there to deliver the designated punishment.

 No.1201

I raised the autism shields

 No.1211

But I kept eating eggs, my pockets were full of them, hard -boiled, soft-boiled, it was all eggs for me and, sadly, all braps for my big black bull.

 No.1212

SUDDENLY

 No.1213

The closed circuit monitor above my bed turned on. As static and white noise gave way to a stabilized image, a shadowy figure made his way into the frame. The silhouette on screen was sitting in a profiled view, making apparent a large hooked nose and pointy ears.

 No.1214

It was an Indian elephant

 No.1215

Count Chocula. Out of all the scary breakfast cereal mascots he was the only one I couldn't kill. His belligerence knew no bounds but I thought I had shaken him off my trail. Apparently this quest had made me an easy target for one of General Mills finest.

 No.1216

"look" said the elephant in the room. "I think we can all agree that no one knows what's going on anymore"

 No.1217

and then a skeleton popped out

 No.1218

The Farshnuke was clearly more powerful than I expected, using my past against me, but it was all mwntal masturbation. I knew the truth

 No.1221

"Open your mouth, baby," a voice called out from a distant place, "you've got something stuck in your teeth."

 No.1222

"Count Chocula, please stop"

 No.1223

WE

 No.1224

LIVE

 No.1225

IN

 No.1226

A

 No.1227

I promptly shot Count Chocula before he could finish his epic meme

 No.1228

Sadly Count Chocula could not be killed by conventional means, he had been living with AIDS for decades at this point.

 No.1229

And there was no way I could stop him from uttering the final word of his terrible incantation.

 No.1232

He straightened out, and stood at his full chocovampiric height.
"We live in a dream. A collective autistic hallucination. A screaming whirlwind of pants shitting mental illness. None of this is real, or is it? Maybe it's all real. Realer than real. Maybe when you're all gone, all that will remain is this. This screeching, squealing, dirty crapped briefs inducing pit of creativity and destruction that lies somewhere inside and beyond, that man must be careful not to drink of too deeply, lest he know himself in full, and live in a society"

 No.1233

With the dull utterance of those last, terrifying words, the Count's face twisted into a ghoulish grin, and he held his hands up, near his chest. With one hand he made to grasp the pale, papery skin of the thumb of the opposing hand. Giving a short chuckle, he gave a sudden jerk, and it appeared he had torn his thumb clean off.

I was dumbstruck, and I could feel my sanity rapidly slipping away as he chortled to himself gleefully, as he repeated the movements, over and over. I was uncertain of what he was attempting to accomplish, but the damage had been done.

 No.1236

Then suddenly, a BBC appeared.

 No.1237

It was BBC4

 No.1238

They were playing a documentary on textiles in the industrial revolution, but I didn't have the time to watch it. I had to

 No.1239

prepare for my seppukku.

 No.1240

File: 1614615711196.png (44.28 KB, 200x194, 100:97, yakuza.png) ImgOps iqdb

In a sense, it was high time for me to…leave forever.

 No.1241

File: 1614628885581.webm (3 MB, 1154x650, 577:325, jav kino.webm) ImgOps iqdb

A ghostly apparition of Zekariah called out to me from the staircase, "Itterashai," and waved goodbye.

 No.1242

suddenly

 No.1243

I pressed the blade into my skin after taking the ceremonial position, there was a sharp pain then unimaginable pain as my guts just burst out of the hole to escape my fat fuck body. It opened like the first moments of a race, internal organs all finding their way out front in the raucous explosion.
It reminded me of when I was on that boat-shaped thing in the water, traveling half-way across the world to stop a breakfast cereal mascot from promoting enforced-homosexuality.

 No.1244

In an instant I was there, as if thrown backward in time by some unseen force, and perhaps, I had been.
Shifting m gaze I found myself surrounded by members of my own family, who I had not noticed prior, yet they were different, dressed as different people. Familiarity crept into my mind, and I could not shake that I knew them as these different people, et they were the same as I knew them before.
Reeling from the confusion, I searched the room for a mirror, and shock hit me as I stared into the soulless eyes within the reflection.

As if by impulse, the lingering words escaped my grasp, and my tongue worked of its own accord, "…hehehehe, Lois, look, I'm in somebody else's skin, but it's me."

 No.1245

Yep I had become black Superman, same as white superman but I was paid 50% less and was never on time. Also I had a terrible credit situation so everything was in Lois's name.
But there I was surrounded by my family: Big Mama Kent, Lois, my main bitch, Lana, my side bitch, and my friend Eurkel.

 No.1246

A voice broke the silence
"NOW WAIT A GOT DANG MOMENT. SUPERMAN'S ARMS, OR THE REST OF HIM FOR THAT HECKING MATTER ARE NOT DANG DIDDLY BROWN!?!?"
A shimmering form forced it's way through the flimsy plasterboard door. It's image was unstable somehow, like the picture of an old television set fighting the interference of a powerful magnet, but the being's identity was unmistakable. It was Chris, Christine, the hedgehog man man not man hedgehog thing. He, she, it was back.
"Bout time you showed up, you autistic fuck." I said. "I'm a black Superman now. This is getting out of hand"

 No.1247

There was a gay oil that encompassed everything, I couldn't really fight it, "how fo you want to, faggot faggot faggot, help me escape?"
He pulled down his drawers and showed me his butthole.

 No.1248

Without hesitation, I plunged my super nigger fist deep inside of it.

 No.1251

And pulled out

 No.1252

File: 1614740738773.jpg (96.5 KB, 626x480, 313:240, blackdolphin.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

AND NOW YOU'RE IN BLACK DOLPHIN PRISON

 No.1253

I had little time to catch my bearings, and what I could sense without eyes told me I was in peril.
My sight adjusted slowly, though I pleaded with myself to never see or feel at all, for when I finally came to understand what the ceaseless pounding within me symbolised, it was all I could do to shut the heavy lids closed.
I awaited in morbid anticipation, the slick, black memories taking root in the devil's garden of my mind's eye. It was going to be just like one of my japanese adult comic books, and my mind's eye was not the only portal which would be so deeply penetrated.

 No.1255

I remembered when I was first out of the academy, pulled to a unit under his command, the Captain. He would train is to be better, of you were a part of Captain Crunch's regiment there would be no slacking, no giving up, and no tricks, because tricks were for kids.

 No.1256

And kids are for fucking

 No.1257

>>1256
Smol human

 No.1258

MEANWHILE

 No.1259

The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. They have greatly increased the life expectancy of those of us who live in "advanced" countries, but they have destabilized society, have made life unfulfilling, have subjected human beings to indignities, have led to widespread psychological suffering (in the Third World to physical suffering as well) and have inflicted severe damage on the natural world. The continued development of technology will worsen the situation. It will certainly subject human beings to greater indignities and inflict greater damage on the natural world, it will probably lead to greater social disruption and psychological suffering, and it may lead to increased physical suffering even in "advanced" countries.

 No.1260

Said uncle Ted to the

 No.1261

chillins.
With that, he opened his magical sack and pulled out a plate of chicken and waffles, slathered in syrup, and began munching away at the morsels.

"MUNCH" "MUNCH" "MUNCH"

He munched and munched and munched.

 No.1262

"Witness" said uncle Ted, between hearty mouthfuls. "these are the products of industrial society. Witness the decadence. How FAT and STICKY they make uncle Ted. Oh-hoh-hoh! Someone will have to take these things away from uncle Teddy!"
"Uncle Ted" spoke a small boy. "I'm hungry too".
"Oh? Then come, take this produce from my greedy hands, but beware!. They may be… Consequences"

 No.1263

In the wilderness a man would come to his own devices, a bike to travel to town, a shake one could build purchased in pieces from the Whole Earth catalog, and a sense of freedom to escape from a world of computers that, as per logic of the sixties, would lead us from an age of lucidity to gibberish.
His first goals were to set about placing his traps, now I will tell you about them in detail.
The small ones would fold up into themselves, metal skeletons that opened to boxes and could have bait applied with doors just-so as to capture the sneaking rodents and critters.
Yes, Uncle Ted loved critters now, he imagined himself as he armed his traps for the days ahead as possibly in the top 15% of those who loved critters. There were tribal people, small pockets of men who could live via the old ways and often did to escape the tyranny of the Yankee dollar, and yet this brand of man, now including Uncle Ted who was doing this all for himself, now included him.
It was critters he was after with the 14 small traps, but now we need to speak of the larger traps, to clear the air they were made of iron and steel and when prepared would-after a pressure plate was activated, crashed down on the animal and held them via chain to a nearby tree. If Ted couldn't check these traps often enough the critters might pass away from lack of food and the wound getting infected.
No, he needed to check these traps daily, like the others, as he hiked his critter-filled woods with his braining stick.
Again it must be stated he chose this life to ignore the ultimate future of mankind, now itself plugged into a trap much too complicated to ever be pulled out from. Pike an animal human society would get sick, it would suffer malnutrition of the soul, and nobody was going to arrive and offer a braining stick like Uncle Ted.
Or would they?

 No.1265

In any case, it was 4 o'clock, and time for Teddy-bear's daily fur-shower.
Rechecking his traps and assuring himself they were set and ready to bring in more 'furiends', Teddy-doodle hefted himself up, with some effort, picked up his stick and backpack and headed home on his favorite trail, past his old furiend, the bear of the forest, and his hidey-hole.

 No.1266

Just then, Ted took a sniff.

 No.1267

And he uttered those words he would go down in history for saying:

 No.1269

fuck dick poopy woop poop shoop big black catcus in my bum bum booger spit diahreah poopies lol

 No.1271

That's when a naked Arnold Schwarzenigger teleported in from the future with his warning for Uncle Doctor Ted.

 No.1272

"UNGLE DED BLEAZE WAID! VING ABOWD WAD YOO ARR DOING! IV YOO BLOV UP DE INDOOSDRIAL SOZIDEDY, I VILL NAT BE ABUL DO BLAY NEENDENDO SWEEDCH WID MY MEGZIKAN OUSEWIVE'S ZON"

 No.1273

"Arnold, Arndolnald, Arlan. Tsk, tsk tsk," went the moist lips of Uncle Ted, "it's too late for your kind, King Lordna, and there's a change in the winds. Soon, it will be time and we will come to power, me and my furry friends. Your mexican housewives cannot compete."
Theodore finishes this statement with a nod and a wink, and quietly lets his bowels release beneath him.

 No.1275

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Ted gleefully ripped one in the Austrian's faggot face. The sheer force of Ted's brap was enough to expunge a gassy ooze that poured over Arnold.

 No.1278

The braaps continued. A mighty tsunami of braap. All across the nation, electricity transformers exploded, motor vehicles melted into the earth, factories burst into flame. The Soyboys of Silicon Valley had barely looked up from their vegan lunches, when the flesh was stripped from their bones. The world trade center collapsed, completely unplanned, which was a big surprise to the government, who still hadn't planned to do it for a year or two. Not that they got to enjoy that surprise for long, before they all spontaneously combusted. The conniving rat creatures of the banking cartel were suddenly distracted from their daily ritual child sacrifice, when an angry mob of online conspiracy theorists, who had finally managed to put down the bongs and stop playing video games for five minutes, burst into the chamber and tore the devils limb from limb. They say on that day, uncle Teddy brapped so hard he took out the entire infrastructure of the United States, once and for all bringing an end to the American empire.
That was three hundred years ago, give or take.

 No.1279

My horse trod lightly, careful to avoid the broken glass and rusted debris that had once been part of that world. They say the people of the past called these sad lumps "cors". Hell if I knew what they were for, or why elder folk was so fond of em. All I know is I don't want my horse up and injuring itself, stranding me out here, four days aways from people.
My Name's Jerret, red faced Jerret, the albino bandito, The sunburnt kid, and I got

 No.1280

Ted sat in the cabin, drink of water sitting in the sunlight the open door allowed.
I was like him, watching a glass of water as it evaporated out of my glass, it was a holy thing. Imagine the water, communal but a single drop slides up and down the glass as you drink, it awaits the evaporation.
The sun, or other eligible warmth instruments frees it from its molecular bonds and it releases the oxygen and hydrogen into the air. A break, a holy thing done by God and not these unholy Schwarzeniggers or whatever the higher ups attempt to format us with, the oxygen floats into the atmosphere unlike the rest of the glass tossed into dirty by a tree hoping to feed its need for photosynthesis.
Atmosphere to upper atmosphere this oxygen rides to the upper atmosphere and off to space where everything has less than 90% atmosphere thanks to gravity.
She escapes, again this is a holy thing humans don't totally control yet, and she rises to some other world I might not ever know anything about but she must land somewhere so it's out there.
I think about Ted and where it all went before I answer Jarret and give him a fake name, I'm not yet ready to evaporate out of this world, I'm still clinging to the glass.

 No.1281

And I got sunstroke

 No.1282

My heart was winding down, I was unable to cope with the heavy parka and several pairs of gloves I had worn, I was forced to admit that, perhaps, it was a bad idea.
I tumbled to the ground, face up like an obese turtle on its back.
Ted stood from his rocking chair and stepped off his elaborately laid out porch, hewn granite, pure gold trim. I wondered to myself, but quickly lost the road.

 No.1283

I lay there for a moment of two, my skin turnin to blister under the sun, til somethin stepped in, shielding me from the light. He loomed over me, a look of tired annoyance in his leathered face. He looked different to I expected.
"What do you want?" Said Ted, that man who had once shit the world into ruin.

 No.1284

"water" I said, too tired to say any more.

 No.1287

"This is the point at which some wise guy types that I piss in your mouth" said Ted. "They think that's really funny".
I uttered a vague noise of confusion, but could manage no more. I was beginning to pass out as Ted dragged me into his magical desert oasis.

 No.1288

"So I been thinking" said Ted "All of this post modern shit's kind of cringe, isn't it? Woah, look at me, breaking the fourth wall like hecking Deadpool or something. And woah, I'm totally violating traditional narrative rules. Holy Jesus, what's going to happen next?!?! That nigger can't even spell words right, this is CURAAAAAYZEE!. Drink your mead, the fairies made it. So here I am, Theodore Kaczynski, the fucking unabomber or something, and I'm in my magical desert oasis, communing with the ancestral spirits, and that's kind of wacky. That's kind of cute, I suppose. Domestic terrorism juxtaposed with fantasy, or maybe it's just shit. Maybe it's fucking Reddit, and I don't even know what Reddit is, because I'm Ted Kaczynski. Maybe I ought to be part of a proper story, only I can't be because people just don't got the skill or the confidence to try. You're some kind of wicky wacky albino cowboy. Woah, it's like the El Topo or something. Kind of borderline avant garde artsy fuck off. Grate my ass! Why don't you do a big poo on the floor? I bet your art school friends would love that one. Transgressive, woah! So anyway, how's the mead?"

 No.1290

At the word 'mead', Ted grunts in climax, and ejaculates into a water bottle. Handing me the bottle, he tells me, "Drink up, kid, it'll help your sicknes."
I looked at him with soem incredulity, but tipped the bottle to my lips and hesitantly sipped at the teet.
I immediately heard a stifled chortling emitting from Ted, who, turning away, mimicked a few coughs and made a loud screaming noise, before returning to his position facing me.

 No.1291

"Y'know it was all factories round here once. Far as eye could see"
I wondered what a factory was.

 No.1292

But it weren't the time for that. My thoughts were comin' back in focus now that I had quenched my thirst, an' I remembered why I had needed to come here. Why I had come seekin' Ted, the oracle of the Chicago sands.

 No.1293

"I need someone to guide me to the bunker," I said with a big fag smile hoping he might brush my teeth with his daddy dick.

 No.1294

His eye's narrowed "what's a one like you want with that bunker?"

 No.1296

"In case tvchan ever goes down, of course."

 No.1297

"What's a tvchan? Kid's still delirious."

 No.1298

>>1296
So began the journey, a dickless journey without any daddy dick because of course, but he would help sherpa me down the mountain into the crater where he said the tvchan true believers had survived the great war.
Eventually we reach the giant metal doors with a console one might click to gain access to a mic directly with the apostates controlling the door.
"KShhhhh" the voice over the speaker said providing their own static, "what is the password?"
"Ksheeee," Ted began, "I want to cut off these whore's heads like Gahoole, kill kill kill, kill the cunts, bloody, debased, senseless cunts attached to fruitless bodies, we kill because we know what's right and we must just kill, kill kill, all of this is satire."
I waited for the bunker to respond. Surprised the password wasn't more racist.

 No.1299

"… Wrong password, nigger"

 No.1300

Ted spat into my mouth in disgust, shouldered my out of the way and proceeded to rifle through his duffle bags in search of something. His grumbles could be heard over the soft shifting of the sandy grit that surrounded us.

 No.1301

"Aha!" announced Ted, and pulled out a

 No.1302

a hirquiticke's chalice, or bone zone for those less knowledgeable in these things.

 No.1305

Then he tossed that aside, and pulled out the key to the door.

 No.1306

He attempted to turn the door's handle only to find that his cum-covered fingers were too slippery.

 No.1307

Industrial society had foiled him again

 No.1309

"HARK, THERE ON THE HORIZON," Ted abruptly screeched. I was momentarily reminded of a small chimp I had befriended in my youth.

Off in the distance could be seen a cactus and some sort of rust coloured cloud, gradually approaching our position. I steadied myself, while Ted removed from his bags a large rifle, cobbled together from various bits and pieces he had clearly scavenged from the robo-shitwastes.

 No.1310

On the strained edge of my hearin' I heard a disturbance. Quiet at first, but then louder. the rumblin' sound of comin' hooves.

 No.1311

DUDE

 No.1313

Echoed the war cry

 No.1314

And I watched in horror as that striking hairdo come into sight. "Lord Chad…" I gasped.

 No.1318

There looked to be no less than three tens of em. Lord Chad, and his marauder Kings. And they was comin' our way. Ted steadied his aim, sweatin' now quite profusely from the brow. He took the first shot a cactus exploded into spines an cactus juice.
"Damn!"
He took another shot. The bulgin' arm of the King to Chad's left burst like a carbunkle, an he fell from his horse, but the gang kept ridin' on, not even stopin' to look back.
Ted was more shakes than man now. He took the third shot, explodin' the knee of he horse to Chef's right. The horse tumbled an fell, takin' out four more men behind, but Chad hardly seemed ruffled. As a matter of fact, he looked impressed.
"Shit!" Said Ted "No more bullets", an he cast aside the ramshackle repeater.
We were gonna have to reason with Chad

 No.1320

We stood there, and waited. Not much else we could do. We couldn't outrun thee stampeding horses, if we tried. We were at their mercy now. Ted wiped the sweat from his brow, and took a swig of who knows what from his medicine man flask, then slumped down onto the sandy ground. I stood my ground. Figured I'd like to die on my feet, if at all. I swallowed hard, and made my peace, as the stampede approached.
They stopped some 20 or so paces away from us, thankfully not opting to trample us into the dirt. Chad hopped down from his horse, and began to approach.
"Haha! that was some sick shooting, baby! You're insane!" He yelled, pointing to Ted in a gesture of recognition. "Why you shoot my Kings though? lol. Ah, who cares, you seem alright! The fuck you doin' out here?" He laughed.

 No.1331

"Young Sunburn here, wants in that bunker" Said Ted, who was now lyin' flat out on the sands, with his straw hat coverin' his face.
"SHIIIIIT, THAT'S CRAY! WE WERE GOING TO THE BUNKER TOO!" said Chad, slappin' me so hard on the back I almost took a tumble. "Oh, but you just shot the guy who knew how to get in. Bummer."

 No.1333

And so, the group stood for a moment pondering on how to enter the bunker so sealed, until suddenly, a moment of inspiration stuns one of the kings.
Easily hefting his own massive hand, he presses it against the steel door of the bunker and, with a twitch of his nose, he begins vibrating rapidly, increasingly faster as the moments passed.
Soon enough, he was vibrating so fast, that his physical form passed straight through the door itself. Mere seconds later, a scuffle could be discerned from inside and several shots rang out, then, all was silent. The door creaked open.

 No.1342

I peered in.

 No.1349

Before me a great screen was caught between two sheer stone faces. Upon it I could see, projected from some unseen place, a black light.
As I watched, one of the kings came to stand beside me.
From the very horizon of the screen, stamped violently into the blackness, numerous white letters began their crawl up the skin, sharing my own sentiment as I began to realize what was occurring.

 No.1356

"AY YO, WASSON THAT SCREEN?" shouted a King from the back

 No.1359

It was Ted's arche-enemy: Sherlock Holmes. He was on the screen, subtitles appearing because he was eating a peach and talking at the same time.

 No.1360

"Nyeeees, I thought you'd find me here, Teddy baby…"

 No.1362

>>1360
"Mmmm, yeees, come into my boudoir. Have an After Eight mint chocolate, darliiiing" Said Sherlock Holmes, gaily,
"Don't fuck me around!" said Ted "You're not fucking Sherlock Holmes. Sherlock Holmes is a fictional character, and he's not gay either. Who is this?"

 No.1363

The pitcher of Sherlock Holmes shimmered out like a mirage, and was aplaced a large, middle aged man, sportin' a mustache, and wearin' a tiger costume.
"Very well. My name is Reginald Alexander Mosely, and I am trapped in a space between spac-"
But I didn't care about all that. I didn't come all the way to this here bunker to watch television, dang it. I took my chance to slip away from the crowd, and started down the corridor to the left

 No.1364

I passed each sign in rhythm to the sound of the metal fan blades that drew air into the bunker's lower depths.
"Ibex cocks…panther dicks…frog phalluseses," they went on for what seemed like miles. I felt I was in a dangerous place, but I was going to watch that television, no matter the cost.

 No.1368

I really wanted to watch that episode of Sopranos where they are cracking safes for Chris and that one guido keeps shitting on the floor. I still don't get what that was all about.

 No.1370

Also, I've never seen the Sopranos, and don't know what it is.

 No.1372

Coming here, coming there. Coming high, coming low, he came. Down the corridor he came. Dancing and prancing like a moth in lamplight

 No.1374

It was Jangles McGambles the pixie of the prose, the goblin of the page, and he was disco jivin' toward me, flared pants a'swingin' and ginger perm bobbin'

 No.1376

"Well now, how do, Salty Sam?" McGambles posed as he twisted about, "last you were around these parts, I heard you was lookin' for a might bit o' trouble! You better watch your back, I tells ya!"
I scanned the area for anything solid, with which to club this ape.

 No.1377

He was right, I was Samuel Clemmens and it was time for my big speech.
"Well, howdy do, tootin too rigger roo and you too, my crew and I have cone from Hell, which I say, dare me, I say I didn't think existed but then I went and approached its burning flames and had a fecundity placed over me.
"For like that bumpass frog I wrote about I was here to jump far away from this a here, I say, this a here a mechanism. I do say.
"And it was in that terrible incriminating place I traded my child passengers for a safe passage out on my air ship. I do declare."

 No.1383

"Shucks, and b'gum."

 No.1387

Not real, acourse, but you have to play the game with Jangles McGambles.

 No.1398

File: 1616931604842.png (66.5 KB, 246x185, 246:185, ltgpalantir.png) ImgOps iqdb

DIS NIGGA WOKE UP WITH STANDING -FUCKIN- FIERCE A-GAIN?! A-FUCKIN-GAIN! GOD -DAMN- I HATE THESE BITCH ASS CHORIZO-SLURPEAN TEX-MEX GUILE MAINS! BITCH ASS NIGGA PUT DIS KINDA SONIC BOOMIN EAN2 SPEED-CLEARIN YA FUCKIN' LAWN ITINERARY, STOOP-TO-WOOP MODELO ABUELOS!

GET THAT MEXICAN ASS CONNECTION BANNED THE FUCK OUT MY LIVE BITCH ASS NIG-GER!

 No.1399

Nigged McGambles

 No.1400

But I knew better. Chorizo is fucking delicious, and makes anything it's added to that much better.
"Fuck Abigail Shapiro, but most of all, fuck niggers that don't like chorizo," I say.
Satisfied with my own interpretations, I fired several rounds into McGambles' torso, before turning the gun on myself.

 No.1408

And inhaling the gunsmoke, in the ritual of my tribe

 No.1411

McGambles seemed impressed by my mastery of the ritual, and he danced a queer jig, dandelion and burdock pouring from the holes in his torso, and forming fragrant puddles all over the corridor.
"OH!, What a feast for the May Queen!"

 No.1412

"and the best of wishes to all of you reading at home. May your dreams be manifest, and your lineage be fruitful"
He shot a wink over my left shoulder, aimed at no one in particular.

 No.1416

But that got me thinkin'; just what were my dreams? I live one day to the next, eatin' skwerl n coon, n passin' out from heatstoke, shootin' up raper gangs an boilin' up pennies. Gettin' with cheap whores and drinkin' potato wine. Just where was I headed in this lackadaisy world? And just what in this bunker did I really come here lookin' for?

 No.1417

I felt sick, and the bile spewing forth from my pus glands was only confirmation that something was amiss. I suddenly had a realization.
"Wait a minute… pus glands?" I spoke aloud.
McGambles had a big fat grin wrenched onto his face, and was stifling laughter as I quickly took stock of myself.
"What's-a matter, pardner? Feeling a little lightheaded? Shouldn't of inhaled so much gunsmoke, that stuff's laced with pure Neo-Texas opium!"
My vision had begun to warp and twist and I was fast becoming incapable of bowel control. What was going on? I looked back, around my rotund shoulder, and saw Ted there, alone on a see-saw. He stared back as he jumped into the air and slowly came back down.
"You fffffffffffucked up kiiiiiiiiiiiid…" his words came out in wet blankets drawn across my own teeth and lost in the ether, "…now you'll neeeeeeeeeeeever see those Sopraaaanooooooos…"
I strained to return looking forward, as McGambles just then had turned into Sneed, from the famous scene in that ancient cartoon, the Simps. As he formed the first syllable of 'formerly', I dropped out, engulfing my consciousness in warm black.
"He has escaped the simulation," came a droning voice from somewhere, or nowhere.

 No.1418

Darkness. Then a singular point of light. An eye, then several of them. Cold and beady, and studying me with clinical intrigue. Segmented feelers twitched, and mandibles clicked. A long and barbed limb reached out, and lightly stroked my cheek. It's sensation like dry, rough wood. I tried to find the appropriate emotion, but found it out of reach. I tried to recall who, or what I was, but drew a blank. I searched for a name to identify these looming figures. "Mantis". There were four of them. Much taller than I, though I couldn't say how tall I was. And they had chosen me.

 No.1419

Something in my dreams, my thought patterns, my expressed essence, had called to them from across the void, and they had come, like bloodhounds drawn to my ethereal scent.

 No.1420

"Level Q dreamer" said the Mantis touching my face. "And level V ego. Rare" it's voice coming through in a low drone, like a supermarket intercom, with just a hint of a Spanish accent.
"Separate an instance" spoke the Mantis to the right. "It may be enough to unstick that blockage in the lower emanation".
"The autistic aberration" interjected another, who had just started paying attention.
"Yes, whether law or anarchy win the day, the energy must flow free. That is all that concerns us".
The four joined limbs, and began a chant or a chime, antennae twitching energetically. A piece of what I was rose up out of me, and then I wasn't what I was. I was two.
"The higher we send to the Mosley. The lower, back to it's material body".

 No.1423

Then there was a rushing sensation, an a burst of light, an I was back in the corridor, an my accent was back. That was good at lest.
I was greeted to the sight of Ted's bulgin' eyes an weathered face, as he shook me to wakin'.
"What were you thinking, boy!? It's never safe to tangle with Jangles McGambles!"

 No.1424

I felt dif'rent now. Somehow lighter. An I suddenly felt I was quite about done with dank corridors and tight spaces. Like my purpose here had been achieved, even though I never seen that Sopranos (whatever that is). I yearned for the wide outdoors, an sunburn on my achin' face. Maybe I'd go my own way now, or maybe I'd see if the Kings had a space going in their posse, since they was now several men short. All opportunities were open to me, an if somethin' much more interestin' and cosmically important was happenin' just out of sight, well, I didn't mean much to me now.

 No.1428

Instead, I was beset with a more pressing issue: how to escape the bunker without disturbing the stools.

 No.1429

They had crept up on me while I was aslumber. Great carnivorous stools.

 No.1430

They squelched and belched.

 No.1431

They writhed and jived.

 No.1432

But holy fuck did they slink and slither.

 No.1433

I loaded up my six shooter, as Ted pulled a meat tenderizer from his satchel.

 No.1434

With great vigor, Ted began tenderizing his own meat, the metal bludgeoning device flying at rapid speeds. His cock nearly exploded, creating a mist of red blood and spongy bits of flesh. I was certain his screams could be heard from miles away, and for a moment, I thought I could see a single tear in his left eye.

 No.1435

"Here's lookin' at you, kid" he said

 No.1440

One last pummel, an he hit the sub-dermal charge, hidden in his scrote.

 No.1449

And then, another brap in the wind.

 No.1450

And Ted Kaczynski Was no more. I bolted down the corridor like a mad man, as the flames licked at my back, takin' pot shots here and there at lurchin' rabid stools, hungry for my albinoid blood.

 No.1453

One stool made a leap for my jugular. It's razor like stool teeth was the last thing I saw, fore I blew them out the back of it's ass with my shooter.

 No.1459

Then Edgar turned himself into a pickle.

 No.1462

An if I were in less of a hurry, I might have wondered who Edgar was.

 No.1469

the end

 No.1470

of the corridor rapidly approached, and I kicked my way through those double doors

 No.1472

when SUDDENLY

 No.1473

I fell, face first into the muscled buttocks of Chad King.

 No.1474

They was so tight, I bounced right off an hit the deck. Chad glanced down at me.
"Hey, wondered where you'd got to. What happened to the old guy?"
"Blew up. Fightin' stools" I choked, gatherin' my breath.
We gave a moment's silence to Ted's memory, though somehow I doubted the immortal oracle of the Chicago sands was really gone.
All around, the Kings were busily clearin' the bunker of all valuables.

 No.1475

They took rugs and mugs

 No.1479

They took tins and bins

 No.1481

, they swiped chits 'n bits

 No.1485

, and they plundered wonders.

 No.1486

And treasures by the hoard, from lands far abroad. Like pants from France, and geese from Greece.

 No.1487

Meanwhile, Dup was

 No.1488

blown the fuck up

 No.1489

and BLOWN THE FUCK OUT of

 No.1490

Niggers

"Hey, stop all that rhyming." said Chad King
"Fair enough" I said.

 No.1491

That's when I shit my pants. I let a pookie dookie in my pants, and some of it got on my ding dong, so I had to pay a visit to the ching chong to get it cleaned up. But she put my pookie dookie in a chest drawer and said something in ching chong. I brained her and left with some of her scalp in my zipper back exactly where I left off before I made a little baby me in my pants that stank real bad.

 No.1492

"Right, knock off all that stinky dinky" said Chad King.
"Fair enough" I said.

 No.1497

"soooooo" I said to the Chad of the Kings "where will you go now, with all o'this loot?"

 No.1499

"Moseying on down to Neo Texas to trade the best of it on the open market, and offer the worst of it as tribute to the Baron."

 No.1503

SUDDENLY

 No.1504

I politely asked Chad if I might join his posse

 No.1505

SUDDENLY

 No.1506

Chad accepted

 No.1507

SUDDENLY

 No.1508

THE

 No.1509

The landscape morphed as if it was no longer a world of 4 or 5 dimensions but of 8, suddenly circles amd semi-circles, moving seemingly incongruently yet not crossing each-other were here, I was just one more band of space moving effortlessly around an 8-D plane and inside a room I never saw before. I had been trapped for who knows how long merely in one place constantly trying to do, well whatever I had done in my life, but never had I escaped this room since I could see all former versions of myself here.
I attempted to sit down and think about this amid the classical gasses arranged in this place to create the universe and I didn't want to involve myself in them so I navigated to not connect with them and placed my bottom-ish on the concept of Thursday and rest my legs on British naval history. Curiouser and curiouser.

 No.1513

SUDDENLY

 No.1514

A Spanish vessel, off the port-ward bow.

 No.1518

I pull out my spy glass, and I see them. A crew of 7ft talls Spanish Mantids.

 No.1519

I yelled across the 8-dimensional seas hoping to harken the vessel, the mantid queen heard me and telepathically replied:

 No.1520

"Captain O'Hara O'Flannigan Dungus Delouze, surrender at once and your crew need not perish."

 No.1521

Why did they hunt me so relentlessly, these seven foot insects from Spain?

 No.1524

SUDDENLY

 No.1525

THE WALL

 No.1526

A great wall of water rose up to surround my vessel.

 No.1527

SUDDENLY

 No.1529

SUDDENLY

 No.1532

SUDDENLY

 No.1533

sud-denizens sudoku-kudasai doki-doki'd the MOAKY BOATIE!

 No.1534

i wish normalfags never discovered cuckime

 No.1536

Said Reginald Alexander Mosely, sadly to himself, as he sat atop his throne, dressed only in his soiled fursuit, drinking orange fanta from the skull of a Blake's 7 cosplayer.
How long had this autistic war raged now, he wondered. There was no conception of time in the Astral Plane. No one ever really aged, and death was more of a suggestion than a hard fact. He had made some gains recently when his ally the Red Titan had decimated the Farshnuke's squirrel shit munitions factory by quoting passages from the Unabomber Manifesto, but frankly Reginald was tired. He couldn't even remember why he had come here. He hadn't even seen the Farshnuke in so long, but still he felt his presence all around. He smelled his autistic scent… On second thoughts that might be the fursuit.

 No.1537

Mosely strode to the window of the throne room of this perfect replica of Ocarina of Time's Hyrule castle, that he currently called home.
He gazed out onto the shifting phantasmagoric landscape of the Astral Plane. About a mile east he saw New CWC city, where his on and off ally, the hedgehog beast currently resided. It was a child's idea of a city, made largely from lego and papier mache. towering above the the city skyline atop great ziggurats were crude statues of Sonic the Hedgehog, Pikachu, Peter Griffin, an old man called Bob, and countless OC characters who no one in their right mind should be able to identify. Mosely knew them all. There were a lot of things that Mosely now knew, like how to break a Gamecube controller in just the right way to cheat at Smash Bros Melee, and why Dragonball GT was actually the best one.
The great champion of the British Mega Empire reduced to this. What a world…
Looking West now, Mosely spied

 No.1538

The decimated expanse that had been the Farshnuke's industrial district. He could still smell the burnt raspberry scent left in the aftermath of last thursday's savage strike on the the Sylth milking facility. He saw the Red Titan walking aimlessly up and down his conquered patch, gleefully crushing any remaining Weresharks under his bungalow sized cowboy boots. Mosely didn't much trust the Red Titan.

 No.1541

"An escape is in order" thought Mosely. "Enough with this blasted place, and this blasted war" But how to leave? Passage to and from the Astral Plane is rare and fleeting. A portal may appear like a tear, as the landscape shifts, but then it quickly seals back up again. Only the Mantids seem to understand the exact science of divining when and where these openings will form, and we don't talk about the Mantids.

 No.1543















After a page break, Mosely stood on the outside. His escape was daring and harrowing, but now it was over and he was free.

"Well now what the bollocks do I do?" he wondered.

 No.1544

The world he had returned to was not his home, he realised now as he stared with horror at that desolate London street. The autistic assault on the Astral Plane had emanated outward. "as above, so below" as someone had once said. Standing before him, amid the burnt out cars and rubble was

 No.1545

A seven foot tall Mantis being.
"Mosely" it spoke in a suspiciously Spanish accent. "Why didn't you unstick the energy block in the lower emanation? You were supposed to unstick the energy block in the lower emanation. We are very upset."
"I don't know what the fuck that means!" yelled Mosely in defiance.
"We sent assistance. It was very clear what you were supposed t-"
"AAAAAAA! AAAAAAAAA! LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU'RE GIVING ME SENSORY OVERLOAD! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

 No.1546

>>1545
"Oi!" cried out a chav-like voice, "You got a loicense for dose psionics?!"

"Bleedin' 'ell, it's the bobbies," muttered the Mantid, "We'll finish this later, innit, Mosely."

The Mantid scuttled off into the night as dozens of London's finest chased after it with sticks. Well, there was one thing that hadn't changed about London.

 No.1547

"Oi Oi OI, Saveloy! What 'ave we got 'ere?" Mocked the Chav leader through a mouthful of White Lightning, his tobacco stained brown teeth glistening in the mid morning sun.
"It's one of them fuckin' animal shaggers innit, bruv. A fuckin' Furry, mate!" said the fatter Chav to his left, who currently had his hand burred deep in his questionably aged girlfriend's leggings, making little circle motions, as she gasped "ooh er, that's propa good that". Little flecks of vomit around her lips and a dazed look in her eye.

 No.1549

I made to clean them off with my mustache.

 No.1551

That's right "I", for I, the POV character Captain O'Hara O'Flannigan Dungus Delouze was back in the story, after my brief trip through the Mantids' dark dimension.
I chased off the young ruffians with my mustache, which I had waxxed to razor points, and then I made to greet Reginald.
"Hello" I said, laying a hand on his fursuited shoulder. "I'm from the 17th century."

 No.1552

Reginald glared at me with a look of utter weariness, and then he shat himself.

 No.1554

But as the stench wafted into my nasal cavities, I felt a deep sense of unese. This wasn't the familiar scent of Reginald's own shit. This was the fetid reek of squirrel shit!

 No.1555

>>1554
"IT'S NOT AL ANYMORE, IT'S-"

 No.1556

SPUNK
Spoke the miniaturised Farshnuke, that climbed out of Reginald's anus.

 No.1558

>>1556
"Spunkaccino?" asked Adam Sandler.

 No.1560

DON'T MIND EEF EYE COOM!

 No.1561

(((Adam Sandler))) narrowly manages to dodge the steaming hot spunkachino cum shot.

 No.1566

Chapter 8:
The Finale

"There were roughly 7000 more words required to make Reginald Alexander Mosely's memoirs (featuring interludes from Adolf Bahsar Gaddafi, "Red Faced" Jerret "the albino bandito" "the sunburnt kid", and Captain O'Hara O'Flannigan Dungus Delouze from the 17th century) reach the officially accepted length of a novel, as opposed to a novella, but how to get there?"
Pondered Pedro, the particularly attractive seven foot tall interdimensional Mantis creature, from Spain. The story had a nasty habit of petering out before conclusions could be reached. "Energy blockage on the lower emanation" mused Pedro. What could be done?

 No.1567

"Energy prune juice, m'lord?" suggested Lizard Bob Saget.

 No.1568

"Not now. Begone, Lizard Bob Sagart"
"I could send Edgar again" He thought "no… He would probably just turn into a pickle, and it would be absolutely hilarious, but it wouldn't get us any closer to our goal. Truly it is I who is in a pickle now."
Pedro relaxed in his arm chair, floating all alone in that black void. With a click of his antennae, he closed the windows he had been watching, monitoring the ongoing story. "Enough of that now" he thought, and lit up his pipe and sat a while thinking.
"Am I really from Spain?" he wondered. "Or did someone, somewhere in the cosmic scheme of things misspell the word "space". Well, never mind it. I like being from Spain. It gives me a certain ethnic spice I wouldn't have if I were simply a bug from space. Plus I'm not really from space, am I? Not space space. Not stars and meteors space. I'm from a space, as we all are, though my space is a black void that hangs beyond the rest of existence, but no meteors here, unless I want there to be of course, but I would have to fill out a form to head office. Can't just manifest things as you please. The entire dark void would be filled with shit, and that would ruin the whole aesthetic. Now, where's that book I was reading?"

 No.1569

"Ah, here it is. All the way up to chapter 8 now. Feels like chapter 7 went on forever"

He read:
"Gummus Grande came gripping his regal stick, right up into the palace. His waxed mustache waning. A six shooter in his hand, and a bulge in his pants. He took aim, fired a hole right through the Thane of York. Assistants came to mop it up, looking annoyed but being very polite. "HE'S COME. HE'S COME. HE'S COME FOR WHAT'S HIS" squelched an onlooking vertebrate, and Gummus Grande seized his prize, slapping the maid's posterior as he left."

"Mantid literature isn't very good" mused Pedro.

 No.1570

He read on:

 No.1572

"A chent gumfiddery o'flangled mangled grot. Goth slanged jon pibbery bon vey hon gongled thot

 No.1573

Come come! To my bum bum. A chibbles bibbles poo poo. Wence flenned hoth dog boggery, and in mein grasp grefundled

 No.1576

Avast!Avast! Shoepearls for i. Hang Lang jeremenai gog jommen vast hidlongs mid pigdungs acoocoo akai

 No.1577

Befrumd! Begund! Bebummed, and depart! for I doth lay qweary, and thou art a who're."

Pablo mused upon the meaning of the poem.

 No.1580

And he found there was no meaning. If this were an episode of Rick and Morty, this would be a statement about the ultimate meaninglessness of the universe, and pointlessness of human striving, and then Pablo would drink a booze, or do a drugs. Thankfully, Pablo has never posted on Reddit, and isn't a stupid faggot who thinks being depressed makes him deep. Pablo just needs to relax every now and again. Pablo is also a Catholic and finds it gives him strength in hard times, but he doesn't go on about it. Pablo is currently happily married to five Mantid women, and has a clutch of little mantoids on the way. You might be pleased to hear it is not the custom among Mantid couples for the female to eat the male. They have long since gotten over such women's lib nonsense, and now are content to simply eat ass once a fortnight.

 No.1582

You found that you were indeed pleased by this news, and you let loose a slight cry of, "Yippee!"

 No.1583

But the question remained; who were you?

 No.1584

Pablo suddenly looked up from his book, and looked you dead in the eyes, and

 No.1585

He let out a mighty brap, mightier than any ordinary brap.

 No.1586

And then smiled a wry smile.

 No.1587

"That's right, reader, I see you, and I'm addressing you now" said Pablo. "You think your essence can wonder on into the Mantid's dimension, without us noticing? Think again. I bet you have certain pre-conceived ideas about who or what you are? You do, don't you? A certain mental picture of yourself. Well, why don't you take a look at your body".
You gazed down, and where you expected to see your familiar form, you were instead greeted by a body with an obscene excess of fat, great pendulous breasts, and at least three exotic skin conditions, clothed in nothing but gym socks, and an over-sized pair of clown shoes.
"I did that" said Pablo with a wink.

 No.1588

You recognized the physique you were gazing down at immediately, and felt a wave of nausea as the sickening realization hit.

Reginald Alexander Mosley, my dear reader, is not me, but you.

 No.1593

Or rather, you are Reginald Alexander Mosley. If Pablo wills it, that is.

 No.1596

And just now, Pablo wishes you to be a pickle.

 No.1598

>>1596
You feel it come over you. That fresh vinegar tang.

 No.1600

Through the stinging brine, you felt Pablo's spindly insect fingers wrap around your pickle.

"Now, my dear reader," Pablo chittered spanishly, "To the cloning vats. I have a very special friend there who's very eager to meet you."

 No.1605

Pablo carries your pickle sized body through to the cloning chamber, which had been newly constructed for your arrival. With your little vinegary pickle eyes you spy Edgar Athelstan von Maupassant sleeping soundly in a weathered rocking chair.

 No.1606

Behind von Maupassant, President Bidup approached from the shadows. "C'mon man", he demanded seductively. He approached over Edgar, lowering his head to him and flaring his nostrils.

 No.1607

President Bidup whispers softly in Edgar Athelstan von Maupassant's ear.
"C'mon, fat"

 No.1609

Edgar awoke with a snort and a start. Completely oblivious to the affections of the ancient president, Edgar seemed troubled and began to sniff the air.

SUDDENLY

His eyes locked with yours.

 No.1610

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH"

 No.1612

screeched Lizard Bob Saget.

 No.1613

as he shimmied into the chamber, carrying a fresh tray of

 No.1614

long hard BBCs.

 No.1615

BBC1, BBC2, BBC3, and BBC4

 No.1616

"sorry to bother you sir, but there's a new documentary by Adam Curtis. I thought mayhaps you'd like to sample it"

 No.1620

"Why yes, I think I would," said Pablo. The mantid looked around the room, "What about you guys? You wanna watch the Adam Curtis documentary and come back to this later?"

 No.1621

"What's the subject matter?" asked Edgar.

 No.1622

"The btfo-ing of Dup", replied Pablo.

 No.1623

"a subject dear to my heart, my insectoid chum, though I fear the hour is getting late, and these cloning vats won't operate themselves"

 No.1625

"Eh," shrugged Bidup, "I'm down to watch it."

"I guess that's two against one," said Pablo, "Unless our pickle friend here votes against it."

 No.1626

You search deeply within the recesses of your pickle brain for an answer.

 No.1629

But the thought returns only brine

 No.1632

Bidup then hovered over the pickle man, and began to joyously sniff like he just found a 9 year old girl. As he inhaled, he whispered flirtatiously, "Corndup was a bad dude".

 No.1636

"Real bad…real glad…GLAAD…love'm, Jill keeps callin' me 'stag'd'…ahh, shucks, boo-boo'd like this…fuckin' turdlet," Bidup lamented before smushily depressing into his own gooch-gooped pants hem, rorschach-splattin' a toupee-tonsure tint into his buttcrack buffer bluster-boofie backend.

"Shuuunh keezers..puu-puu puu-tin…"

 No.1637

"Listen Jack!" declared Bidup. "If you don't know whether or not to not vote for me or not for not Dup, then you ain't a nigger."

 No.1638

Pedro wasn't sure who Bidup was talking to, but he sure did look ICE COLD in those aviator shades.

 No.1639

SUDDENLY

 No.1646

The bucks arrived.

 No.1647

Lizard Bob Saget dropped the platter of British Broadcasting with a battle-screech. Pablo threw you at the pack of ornery niggers.

"Break those bucks, my pickley amigo!" bade the mantid. With that, your body changed into

 No.1648

a whole array of pickles. Pickles for days! Pickles as far as the eye could see, and everyone one of them you.

 No.1649

In went the first pickle into the buck's puckered anus. The breaking had begun.

 No.1650

And continue it would, until every buck was broken

 No.1651

Brought down from their uppity heights, and made again the servile and submissive beasts they were surely bred to be. Stripped of their fragile manhood, their chest-beating swagger, and all of their adolescent posturing, through the properly applied discipline of a good stiff pickle. When all was said and done they'd be glad to stoop before the authority of their betters. They would be happy, for it is their rightful place, and all would be well in the world, while they shucked and jived and played gaily for the fatherly gaze of Massa. Not a worry on their simple minds. Not an ounce of angst in their animal hearts.

 No.1656

>>1651
BUCK BREAKING TIME, BITCHES

shouted a voice on the intercom, as eurobeat techno began playing.

 No.1657

The pickles swarmed angrily, circling the crowd of Bucks, who ran and rioted and clawed at each other's flesh, desperate to escape the tangy dill embrace.
"O LAWD, SABE ME!" Came a cry.

 No.1658

"DINDU NUFFIN!" shouted one buck. "WE WUZ…" proclaimed another, just before being cut off by a rather randy pickle.

 No.1659

Chapter 9: The Breaking to End All Bucks

Bidup reemerged from shadows, back from his excursion at the G7 convention. Enamored with the bucks before him, Bidud was overjoyed. "I see you're into buck breaking. I happen to break bucks myself", said the aging executive.

 No.1661

At the sight of that prime speciment of manhood, You couldn't control myself any longer.

"I'M PICKLE REGINALD," you cried as your spare pickles went berserk and raced toward the unprotected rectums of Bidup, Edgar, Lizard Bob Saget, and even Pablo.

 No.1663

Bidup made a futile effort to escape. Pickle Reginald wasn't about to let him go and soon took hold of the septuagenarian breaker. Bidup knew he had only one recourse for his defense.

"HAIRY LEGS ACTIVATE" he announced.

 No.1664

The surviving bucks ran to Bidup to rub his legs.

 No.1665

"c'mon fat"

 No.1667

, Bidup commanded. The bucks were made as a shield to protect the executive from Reginald. As the pickle man was distracted, Lizard Bob grabbed Edgar and Pablo by the forearm and made a hasty retreat.

 No.1673

SUDDENLY

 No.1675

Pablo leaned back in his arm chair.
"No no, this plot isn't right at all. It's lacking basic coherence, and the perspective is all over the place. Aaaaaah, it's going to take me all night to work this one out"
He pulled a cigarillo from his slick cigarillo tin.

 No.1680

And puffed deeply, allowing the tobacco smoke to roll around in his mantoid lungs. The nicotine hit came on gently, calming his frayed nerves.

 No.1681

As Pablo took another drag, Bidup continued to ward off Reginald in the other room. The Pickle realized the only way he could take down the fossilized president was to break every buck in the vicinity. "Poor bucks are just as broke as white kids", he said.

 No.1682

With a horse, you can buck break wherever you want…

 No.1683

That's the taste of freedom, kiddo

 No.1684

Yes, the taste of freedom, as John McAfee was about to subject to his harem of Columbian beauty queens as he lay in his hammock with his trousers undone.

 No.1688

and

 No.1691

then, spread his anus wide open.

 No.1692

beckoning

 No.1693

for his pungent smelly log, John's taco maid opened her mouth.

SUDDENLY

 No.1694

Hot sweaty balls, forcibly smashing against each other like a boxer hitting the small bag, ""fags" exclaimed everyone though nobody could explain how they knew that one terrible sound.

 No.1695

And then, it loomed

 No.1697

menacingly

 No.1698

with his giant rock hard BBC, cooming in everyone's faces.

 No.1701

It was the MovieBlob, floating blobbingly upon his blob throne. His royal blobbiness cascading and dripping forth to greet us. In his hand sat a well worn NES controller, and all about his lap was strewn the remains of a half eaten pizza. The words "Nth Dimensional Pizza" decorated the box.
The Blob (noisily) cleared his throat

 No.1702

President for Life Chipman then calmed down his trained buck and cleared his throat for the following announcement.

*ahem*

"I HEARBY DECLARE ALL UNEVOLVED RED STATE VOTERS TO BE SACRIFICED TO THE ALTER OF NINTENDO, FOR THA GOOD OF THA SUPERIAH FUTCHA!" he stated in this thick Bahstan accent. It was only yesterday the Blob signed into law that anyone to the right of Marx was to be snuffed out for their heresy. The Secret Superior Future Police-SSFP for short-were soon out on the beat and leaving no stone unturned for non-believers, holding interrogations everywhere from the local Capeshit Cinema to the First Church of Hillary Clinton.

 No.1703

"How did he get in here?" whispered Edgar to Pablo, but Pablo was lost for words.

 No.1705

An incursion into mantis space was unprecedented.

Something

had

occured

 No.1709

I marched my turtle man army into that

 No.1710

blobbing expanse

 No.1719

which

 No.1720

i hate niggers

 No.1721

said

 No.1725

BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPP

 No.1728

hob blobbeding

 No.1733

crig shningle

 No.1734

I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST

 No.1735

said

 No.1742

Weinstein.

 No.1743

Who promptly struck the Movieblob

 No.1750

in his h'lob bodebin', gr8 guv'nah bruv'ana-pest moiht!

 No.1751

"dis is werse den Thewer 2: Duh Dark Woruld." Blobbed the Blob

 No.1756

And then began to eat the whole dimension. Just slurp it down like mamma's spaghetti.
"Dis is achually a smorle size portion fuhra guy like me"

 No.1758

"Not the dimension," I said, balls jingling and jangling to and fro in my pants. All day my balls had just been held back by my pants but now they suddenly were seemingly doing whatever the shit they wanted down there and while something important had been happening now I just had balls on the brain. Just my fucking balls and me on a journey, same as we always were.

 No.1759

Just me, ol' Johnny Two Balls, and his famous balls. Me an' them against the world.
And As I stood there, scratching my dirty blonde beard, wondering how all of this came to pass, I recalled a story of my youth, when me and Ma and Pa and Sis would relax near the lake and throw stones and bricks, into the Romani Gypsy camp in the next field over.
"Fuck off back where you came from, you dirty Gyppo cunts!" we'd say, then gaily we'd play, as we burned their caravans and chased them into the night, running from the fear of our whips and our rifles, and our trained Siberian wild dogs.

 No.1760

As night fell, it was time to turn in. Chris then soon hopped into bed.

 No.1761

Right, none of that ugliness, said God, We're having a nice happy ending, with no nonsense, no vulgarity, and everyone comes away better off than where they started.

 No.1762

"Okay, you you and you" said God, as he arranged myself: Johnny Two Balls, and my Ma, Pa and Sis next to the fireplace. "You're going to be wholesome, and you're going to be heartwarming"
My Sister holds her Siberian puppy. I Gaze into it's big black innocent eyes.
"That's right" says God. "That's fucking right, mate. Now hold that image. Don't do anything weird. Don't do any incest. I need to get on the dog and bone to a certain mantis cunt who was meant to be managing this unholy mess. Jesus Christ, mind my French". And in a flash of light, God was gone.

Chapter AAAAAAAA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"Where is Reginald Alexander Mosley? Where is Reginald Alexander Mosley? Where is Reginald Alexander Mosley? Where is Reginald Alexander Mosley? Where is Reginald Alexander Mosley? Where is Reginald Alexander Mosley? Where is Reginald Alexander Mosley? Where is Reginald Alexander Mosley?"
Said Reginald Alexander Mosley.

 No.1763

tHE eND

 No.1764

Epilogue: The Day the Laughter Died

Looking down from Heaven, Bob was aghast at what his son has become. Bob pleaded with the Almighty to cut down his son, to stop the continued misery.

 No.1765

"bob vro…just let it b vro. u did ur best vro. plz stawp eet vro, u can onlee bleyme urcelph 2 such an extint vro. 4 the luv ov gawd look awaie cuz eet ain't lyk eye can dew shit baot wats transpyrean vro. plz just…wat baot a dup btfo vro? oar a kali/acc N-try'st ean2 the /lit/tysphere purgean vro? poos gittin loo'd ean hilarity lewps vro. n awl ov the kali/*splat* poos r adharmic ean nurture 2 soe when it ploops eet plops n eets rompean n stockaded 4 abatean the fewchour rape ov civilization vro. plz…nethin but a request 2 injuncture-eanjecht awn diz vro. its just…flutturs ovvuh tapestry ov christory vro. dats awl'd. eye kan dew az much baot diz az duh gawd dat's mien'd vro. lo…si-ent-o."

 No.1766

Who's your favourite Vtuber? Mine's Gawr Gura, because she is cute.

 No.1767

I also like Korone, but I can't watch her streams because I don't speak chinkie,

 No.1768

It is only fitting that we should end this novel on a discussion of Vtubing, as soon all entertainment shall be superseded and made obselete by the Vtuber. Just think, all that prose, all that narrative, those centuries of artists honing their craft, and for what? At the end of the day, what people really want is to watch a slightly autistic 20-something fujoshi pretend to be a fish while playing Minecraft. The destruction of entertainment, you might say, but I assert it is it's perfection.

 No.1769

- Mark Twain

 No.1780

…HARRY LEGS, SNACKTIVATE

 No.1781

Commanded bidup. He knew dup would be returning even though he had been btfo

 No.1783

in the

 No.1784

tight Buck's ass.

 No.1785

storm of 84

 No.1786

When we battened down the hatches, and fattened up the bitches.

 No.1787

Two greats rows of braphogs lined the walls of the barn. Their emissions harvested by a great apparatus of tubes and valves. They would keep us warm throughout the winter.

 No.1788

We woke up one morning to find that two of the braphogs had escaped. The night watchman was unconscious and his desperate gurgles emitted from beneath the tubes and valves he was now connected to so that the alarms didn't go off. "They couldn't have gone far," said bidups' chief eunuch, "not in this weather".

 No.1789

"We must find them" said Franco the gameskeeper, his cigarillo hanging lazily from his palsied mouth. "We must return them before the solar festival, or there will be trouble".

 No.1798

Bidup took a sniff, hoping the lingering scent might lead their direction.

 No.1799

>>1798
He detected a spicy brap with a hint of beans.

 No.1801

>>1799
The smell was emanating from Kabul. It was off to Afghanistan where the braphogs were trapped at the American embassy. "The brap stops with me…", declared Bidup.

 No.1802

The Saracen Barbarains had taken our braphogs. We watched as they suck their fumes greedily through hookah pipes. Little specks of shit lining their swarthy lips.

 No.1803

As they laughed, foreignly, and discussed their plans to bring freedom to the West.

 No.1804

Bidup wasn't taking this lightly.

"Listen Jack, not a joke, no lie. I'm not joking, seriously. Now, number one, this is not a joke, not a joke. I'm not kiddin' around. No joke, I'm serious!

 No.1805

"Freedom in the West? Listen, Jack. Listen, Fat. We don't, we do, we we we, over my black ass, or you aint a nigga!"

 No.1806

The Taliban were distracted by Bidup's stammering declarations. As they tried to decipher his ramblings, Franco snuck by to where the braphogs were being held.

 No.1808

"We are reunited, my Beauties" dribbled Franco, as the braphogs trembled in fear and arousal, but just that moment Franco remembered a story from his youth.
It had all begun when he was at the ripe young age of 36, having just graduated from special education.

 No.1809

The aroma of the BRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP triggered the memory of when he received his first hog to directly BRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP in his face. The loss of his brap-ginity was a night he would treasure to the end of his days.

 No.1810

Her name was Daisy, and she was a doe-eyed brown heifer of a braphog. Truly a prime specimen. Through her emissions alone our tribe could power a small automobile, with enough juice left over for a pocket calculator.

 No.1816

Which was very important to the tribe, for every year, on the night of the solar festival

 No.1817

IT would come.

 No.1819

gingerly

 No.1820

across the moors

 No.1822

and out of the hog's brap-hole, filling the area with a pungent aroma of rich, thick gas that smelled of lilacs.

 No.1823

It was Jangles McGambles, the Pixie of the prose, the goblin of the page, and he was disco jiving his way through our shed.

 No.1824

He pointed a cheese finger square up my shnozz, and bemoaned "Who're yoooouuuuu?"
Me? I'm Fred. Freddy Fred Fred, Fred Fred Freddy Fred.
Freddy Freddy Freddy Fred Fred Fred Fred.
Fred Fred Freddy Fred Fred. Fred Fred Freddy Fred.
Freddy Freddy Freddy Freddy Freddy Freddy Freddy fred.
But that's not important. This is a story about Franco, who was

 No.1826

Watching with wonderment, as Jangles McGambles worked his way through Daisy's digestive system.

 No.1827

It was in this moment, Franco developed his passion for voring.

 No.1831

Niggers…

 No.1832

But that was then, and this is now

 No.1833

The place is here, the time is now, so all the brothas say "ho!" and all the ladies say "how!" and put your two hands together to form a so clap and jump back I've never seen you ride the track and

 No.1835

NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE

 No.1836

, shouted the crowd of niggers and nigresses.

 No.1838

"bros, just saying nigger isn't funny in itself"
Said old Slappy BuDongDong, the nigger of nigstreet.

 No.1839

And I had to agree with him, for he was right. Truly he was the wise old negro. If this were the movie, he would surely be played by Morgan Freeman. He smiled quizzically at me, taking a short puff on his ornamental pipe, and then he said

 No.1840

"Wencefeddery gomblubbomed atop mein grouchou, came I upholstered upon a scroucho"

 No.1841

Then he proceeded to overdose on fentanyl.

 No.1842

the

 No.1843

incel

 No.1846

are the most oppressed class of people in history

 No.1848

>>1846
to flame the harpies at the 12th hour

 No.1849

>>1848
while bucks are broken in the future.

 No.1850

"the state sanctioned waifus shall be ours, brother. You just need to belong in the struggle."

 No.1851

Said the Anti-Christ, to the hapless boys.
A darkness in his eye and a weight on his brow. The rumbling of thunder brewed in his gut, and with hesitation, he knew now what he must do.
"Alas" he thought. He had never wanted it this way, but when you're the Anti-Christ, you're the Anti-Christ. They don't let you choose. Dropped face first into creation, kicking and screaming, the negative of all the positive. The perverter of all that is pure, just by his very nature. What can a boy do?
Start a revolution, that's what.
Grasping

 No.1852

>>1851
for BBCs, he handled each one mightily, prepping each bull with vigor and excitement. As the bucks stiffened, they made an announcement: "American culture is centered around niggers…"

 No.1853

The speech was broadcast worldwide, on every television screen, every cellular device. Easy enough to achieve when one is the Anti-Christ.
"Yes" thought he, "that unholy concoction of rancid beans, ghost peppers, and tequila in my gut should be just about ready".

 No.1854

And then the Anti-Christ did the unholy. Dropping his britches, and raising his rear high and proud, he blasted his profane concoction, desecrating the people's idols.
All across the world, the people watched as their gods were pelted with steamy helpings of fermented stomach brew. Some recoiled in anger, others rejoiced for their freedom, but the message was clear to all: the old religion was dead.

 No.1855

SUDDENLY NIGGER DICKS

 No.1856

Shrank to the size of peas

 No.1859

The Braincels of r/braincels began to cheer, for now they were the alpha males. The Anti-Christ had lead them to freedom, and soon the sweet touch of female flesh would be theirs.
It was then that Blackpill_Xtreme, the high commander of the Braincels rose to his feet.

 No.1860

"Alrighty there, hokey-pokey a…titty stroke turnner selffa round…but w-w-what about…t-t-the bitty-niggie mestizo intifidahaha, crucifix chickin-pope-let?"

Blackpill_Xtreme threw off his noh-coverean veneer, and a familiar pearly-pristine set of globohomo-engorged veneer chompers shone through - it was CORN POP CORONATOR JOE BIDUP HIMSELF! THE "LIVING" JOE-PEDO!

 No.1862

"SHOW SOME RESPECT NIGGERS! NOT A JOKE! MY PATIENCE IS WEARING THIN! I'M NOT JOKING!"

Bidup's fury emboldened him, more so than his third afternoon nap. It was enough that he almost knew where he was.

"AND GUESS WHAT?", he inquired.

 No.1863

"What?" said the Anti-Christ and the Braincels in unison

 No.1864

>>1863
TORNADOES!

Roared Bidup. "But they don't call em that anymore…"

 No.1866

They call em.

 No.1870


 No.1872

ummmmmmmmm, uhhhhhhhhh, well y'know… the thing", uttered bidup.

 No.1873

The Thing, bidup's favorite Marvel character from his favorite capeshit book, Fantastic Four.

 No.1874

And also The Thing (2011) was his favorite movie.

 No.1875

Everyone was horrified at bidup's shit taste.

 No.1879

Speaking of shit, I was time for Bidup's butt wipe.

 No.1881

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 No.1882

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 No.1884

I'll be honest, I lost track of the story after the Mantis.

 No.1902

"SO I REABE" screeched a familiar HAPA of the percolatrician vargusiniade genus.

 No.1904

When all was said and done, it had been a rather poor novel, thought Reginald Alexander Moseley to himself, as he closed the manuscript and set it aside on the desk of his room in this finest of Neo Texan brothels, where he lived out his dying days, injecting weed and smoking ass. Spinning yarns about his autistic adventures to all who would listen.
"But one thing, I feel remains" said Reginald aloud to no one in particular. "A book needs a title. And mine has none. A pity. A pity."
And then a burst of inspiration struck old Reginald, and it all seemed to clear.
"This, my memoir, my life's work. I shall call thee…

 No.1952

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 No.2038

:A Literary Experience

by

 No.2054

which

we

consulted

with

 No.2055

a

number

of

individuals

of

 No.2056

File: 1635264221832.jpg (182.95 KB, 1080x1080, 1:1, china-will-lose.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

>>2055
melanated origin, so that we could put their BIG BLACK COCKS in our mouths and suck on them until ejaculation.

 No.2057

But that's a tale for another day…

 No.2058

CHAPTER 15

EPILOGUE 2: THIS TIME IT'S PERSONAL

 No.2059

This time it was personal

 No.2060

>>2059
But personal how, I wondered? Then it hit me! It was personal because…

 No.2061

Is somebody compiling this? Make a PDF of the final one, this bullshit could totally be the next hypersphere

 No.2062

Because the wound had been itching all day, and the wound only itched when things was personal
>>2061
[s]I think it's being compiled for the Feuilleton, if that's still going on[/s]

 No.2065

[s]What's hypersphere, by the way?[/s]

 No.2066

>>2065
>>2065
https://www.amazon.com/Hypersphere/dp/132978152X

This, a thing that I believe cuckchan compiled. It's insanely long.

also fuck you for fucking up spoilers so many time you newfag piece of shit

now go back to writing the fucking EPILOGUE

 No.2067

>>2066
I'm not going to pretend I can keep track of exactly how tags work on all of the boards I've been around. Is it this one?

 No.2069

I felt piece at my side. snub nosed Remmington custom leaded detective's birthday surprise special, with modified coils, and the dings filed down.
THIS TIME it was personal.

 No.2070

I pushed my way into the speakeasy, and the look on my face let old Charlie know I meant business.
"I want names, addresses. I'm only going to ask once"

 No.2074

Old Charlie, who incidentally was a Charlie himself, just continued staring into space with his usual slack-jawed souless chink bug-eyed demenor he always does.

This was taking too long and my mission was too important, dammit, so I…

 No.2078

said "this is an speakeasy, so you better spill the beans or it's going to be hard for you to ever speak again from six feet under".

 No.2080

GAHOOLE BIG FAT

VARG GIVE PERCOLATRICE, OR, I LEAVE AGAIN!

 No.2081

Before he could finish I blew his flappin' lips out through the back of his head. No time for games. This time it was personal.
I turns to slim Jackie, and points the birthday surprise square in his schnoz.
"Names, addresses" I says.

 No.2082

"I don't know who's done it, I swears it!" says Slim Jackie, so I blows his nose for him. Off, that is, with my gun.

 No.2091

Then I blow his actual nose. With a kleenex, that is.

 No.2092

Cause this time it's personal

 No.2093

So I turns to Tall Ricky, I turns to, and I

 No.2094

*BBRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP*

 No.2096

And then I wondered why I keep shitting my pants. This is like the sixteenth time that I've shat myself in this story.

 No.2097

It's because this time it was personal, and I only shits my cakey diaper when it's personal.
So I looks tall Ricky square ins the eye, and I say "I wanna know who's done it, and the plot ain't progressin' til I know who's done it, so you's better talk, sweetcheeks"

 No.2098

To which Ricky promptly shat his pants too.

 No.2099

"All I knows" says tall Ricky "Is ever since I was a boy, I've known I was special. I have special powers, see. The aliens gave em me. When I thinks things, I makes things change. So people are always bugging me, trying to make me think things. I figure the best way to combat this predicament is not to think at all, you dig?"

I have to admit, I was not expecting that answer, but now I was compelled by Ricky's story, and I had to pry.
"Why don't you's thinks of nice things, like birthday cake or pretty dames?" I says to him. "Then you'ds only haves thems things to worry about".

 No.2100

By the way, I haven't introduced myself yet, so let's say my name is Dirk McGonogol: private dick, and public shitter.

 No.2101

I then proceeded to shit my pants once again. The turds are beginning to pile up around my feet.

 No.2102

Tall Ricky regards me with concern, trying to figure out if I'm really shitting, or just trying to gaslight him.

 No.2103

"Now Officer, you'ds better not be tryin' to gaslight me" says tall Ricky

 No.2105

As shadowy figures start to take form in corners of the bar, each concealing hidden recording equipment and secret raper's tools.

 No.2107

Raper's tools such as a penis, and several large black phalluses

 No.2109

And when a fella thinks of black dicks so often, a guy has to ask if it's still a joke, or if they're actually just into that.

 No.2110

"there's no structure. There's no rhyme. The human being aint what he was no more. There's no nation, no future. You think that's dick you're breathing? Any ideas you had about who or what you was forget. The future doesn't need to be scary, you just need to accept. Forget what you thought you was and what you thought you was owed, and accept you're new reality, o'data packet, oh little spriteling splat of shit, riding the winds, riding the tides, eeeking out the human experience wherever it comes, wherever it goes. Who ever wanted to be human? I never did. I wanted to be Batman, but that's by the by. Who is Batman, by the way, what does he mean now? Xap on down the tubes, eek out the reality. All there is is reality, and it's everywhere. Feel the buzz until it burns out, then push even further. Sell your soul. Dehumanise yourself and face to bloodshed. You never wanted a normal life, so let's stop pretending. You're slick and chrome and pansexual. Do you even have a brain anymore, and do you even care? Who needs a brain these days? They grow those in Asia, amid the rats and the shit. Little little little people. Relics of people. Forget about them and become eternal, OOOOOOOOOOOOO dirty fucking stink ass Jew, filling the corridors of your mind with poo. One day it'll come, but until then…"

 No.2111

THERE'S NO STORE, DUDE! IT'S -UBER EATS-! IT'S FUCKING -UBER EATS-! IT'S A FUCKING CONGLOMERATE CORPORATION! IT'S A -FUCKING CORPORATION-, FUUUUCK! FUUUUCK! IT'S A FUCKING CORPORATION, DUDE!!!

 No.2112

"Do you guys know about healing audios? I'm going to compile a list of my favorites, just so you can know about them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzbpUe-9gFg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmeiZVYRoHQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbwEgohHJZM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxUFPGq4ZH4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQMWeCphUks

You need to listen to all the audios" said tall Ricky.

 No.2119

Tall Ricky was caught in a schizo loop, as the phantoms of his subconscious whooped and whirled around the bar.

 No.2120

And I still didn't know who done it.

 No.2121

But the fact of the matter remains, I still am totally unable to control my lust for negro phallus. Every waking moment, all I think about is big black cock. I want to suck black penis and I want black penis inside of me. My every waking moment is consumed by a cocklust for nigger dick.

 No.2122

>>2121
fuck you, hapa

 No.2123

I feel deeply, this is a cry for help

 No.2124

And I look to the heavens and ask a simple question: "what can cure me of my addiction to black cock?"

 No.2126

"why, that's easy, you silly cunt" says God, from up on his cloud. "What you need, is big fat sweaty bit of clunge, me old mucker".

 No.2129

>>2126
Oh fuck. God is br*tish. Oh god.

 No.2130

"Don't be givin' me any lip" says God. "I've got half a mind to smite you, you cheeky get".

 No.2131

I struggle to remove the ochre colored BBC from my mouth as I reply with…

 No.2132

"but I still don't know who's done it"

 No.2133

And so we close the page on this scene of the sleepy speakeasy, where our demented detective protagonist battles with demons of mental illness and homosexuality, and we turn our attention now to you, the reader.
Tell me, reader, why are YOU gay? Why don't YOU have a girlfriend?

Here I go, and conjure one up. Let's call her Yuki. A Japanese schoolgirl, just on the right side of legality. She wears a uniform, like the ones you know from the animes. Sometimes the wind blows up her skirt and exposes her blue striped undergarms, and she makes a noise like "Kyaa!". She's flawlessly beautiful, yet bashful and relatable, and she probably likes video games too! Perhaps Banjo-Kazooie, or BloodNet. She's everything you want, isn't she, you disgusting failure of life, you. You gross little wad of mold, festering on the very edge of moral and social acceptability. Your mother's not proud, is she?

Let us take our kawaii Yuki-chan, and place her in an environment. Not too high concept, so the slower readers don't get lost. A McDonald's will do the trick, because I know you all know what that is. And now let us see what happens to Yuki, as she enters the door.

 No.2134

SUDDENLY A PACK OF NIGGERS STARTS RAPING YUKI-CHAN


That's what you get for taking her to a fucking McDonalds' you fucking moron, may as well take her to a KFC or something you fucking hoodrat moron.

 No.2135

But luckily it was just an illusion, and Yuki-chan is safe, for she wore her anti-rape shield today.
Yuki-chan looks you dead in the eye and says "what's wrong with you anon? Why did you want me to get raped by niggers, you weirdo? You could have written something nice. I'm not even going to flash you my pantsu. You don't deserve it. Now you'll never know their color."
Yuki-chan approaches the counter, only to find

 No.2136

File: 1636054092723.jpg (38.11 KB, 661x440, 661:440, 7239408670245.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

>>2135
"SHEEEEEIT, I CAN'T WAIT TO FUCK ME SUM JAPONEESS PUSSY, IT'LL BE'S JUST LIKE MAH FAVORITE JAV VIDEOS I WATCH ON TVCH" Tyrone says, from behind the counter, reaching for his concealed Jimenez .25 pistol

 No.2137

"Hello, yes. I want to order some noodles" says Yuki-chan

 No.2138

"AY YO HOL UP!", Tyrone nigged loudly as he began to smack his lips.

 No.2139

DEY DON'T SERVE NO NOODLES IN A MUHDONALS!!!

 No.2143

"Check your menu" says Yuki "McNoodles are a common item"

 No.2145

File: 1636097600411.jpg (26.49 KB, 222x235, 222:235, killyaself.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

<low tier god voice> ayo these gay ass prog FBI SPOOK ASS BIX NOODANITE, "KILLMONGER W/ THE STILL DONGER" ASS GOOKIES con-vergin awn this litty pape-stack gotta dew wat i dayum well recommend…

YOU SHOULD KILL YOUR-SELF…NOW!

 No.2146

"I'm sorry. I don't follow hip-hop" says Yuki

 No.2147

WHEN SUDDENLY, THE MCDONALD'S DOOR IS KICKED IN VIOLENTLY

And who should emerge once the smoke clears but LOUIS MOTHERFUCKING CUCKKING HIMSELF, and he's PISSED

Louis, wu-tang t-shirt on, flasher's trenchcoat on over it, turns and looks at you and Yuki and Tyrone and…

 No.2148

Then in walked Gandalf the gray, and Gandalf the white, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight, and Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie,and Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi The Genie. Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger. Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan. Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan.

 No.2149

CUCK-EY LOU-EY

*CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP*

CUCK-EY LOU-EY

*CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP*

 No.2150

Louis was having none of it. Fresh from 8 months worth of bull prepping, the comedian disrobed, arming himself with only a house plant.

"This coom's for you", he said, as began furiously fapping his half-yid microdick.

 No.2151

The crowd went wild, as Yuki-chan

 No.2152

tried to escape out of the back window.

 No.2154

Meanwhile, Tyrone

 No.2155

was prone

 No.2156

in utter, abject, stone cold-fear

 No.2157

at the sight of

 No.2158

SHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTT

 No.2160

Emerging from Louis CK's cellulite-ridden half-yid asshole, as he was jerking his micropenis.

 No.2161

Haha. Funny poo! Poo funny!

 No.2167

squeed Yuki-chan.

 No.2170

Stuck half way in the window.

 No.2173

As feces exited Louis's rear, he turned his head and invited Tyrone near him.

"I want your black seed in me", he demanded.

His hole spread open and in a true historical first, Louis was going to attempt the first reverse buck-breaking.

 No.2174

Then Gandalf the gray, and Gandalf the white, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight, and Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie,and Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi The Genie. Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger. Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan. Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan

 No.2175

gradually trickled out from somewhere.

 No.2177

And watched Louis CK getting fucked in the ass by Tyrone the McDonald's cashier

 No.2178

Tyrone looks straight into the camera and says "just one of those days", as the laugh track plays.

 No.2179

>>2178
(while Tyrone's large negro phallus is covered with mexican-jew mongrel feces)

 No.2180

A door slammed open during breeding.

"HEY NIGGERS!" shouted a voice from the shadows.

 No.2181

Then in walked Gandalf the gray, and Gandalf the white, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight, and Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie,and Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi The Genie. Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger. Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan. Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan.

 No.2182

And following them was

 No.2183

Gandalf the gray, and Gandalf the white, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight, and Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie,and Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi The Genie. Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger. Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan. Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan.

 No.2184

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, where Yuki-chan hangs stuck half way out of the open window, the grease from the fryer was beginning to saturate her porcelain skin. Oh no! She's all slippery and greasy, and at this rate all of her clothes will slide right off! And-and that's terrible! Just imagine her perfect smooth skin, pert breasts, and dark hairy little manko exposed to the elements, and the prying eyes of hungry male beasts.
Readers, you cannot allow this to happen to Yuki-chan. She is our girlfriend. We have made her together in our minds, you and I, and we MUST protect her virgin purity.
Quick! There goes her sock now! It slips off her delicate foot and drops into the fryer to sizzle alongside chicken nuggets. Yuki-chan flails around in indignity, still trapped quite rigidly in that window frame, hanging over the back alley.

 No.2185

Louis continued being plowed by his big black buck as the sight of that willing yellow pussy was an immediate turn off to him. Tyrone, however, had other plans in mind….

 No.2186

You see, many moons ago, when Tyrone was just a boy his father had said to him "Tyrone, you are black" and he had never forgotten these words of advice. Whenever he found himself at a crossroads in life, he would ask himself "What would a black person do?", and then the answer always made itself clear. For after all he was Tyrone, and he was black.

 No.2187

Upon seeing his blackness, Tyrone had a choice. His destiny was to either be a buck or a

 No.2188

cuck. Tyrone could either be fucked by Louis CK or he could fuck Louis CK. There are only two types of people in this world; and those are them. Period.

 No.2189

But could there perhaps exist a third type?

 No.2190

Indeed, what kind of a type would that be? A man who was neither buck or cuck? Could such a man exist?

 No.2191

A man who transcends all power dynamics. A man who cannot be defined. Dare we dream of such a man?

 No.2192

A DUP who doth not drinketh from the BTFOeth cup?

 No.2193

Louis became enraged at the idea.

DUP!? Fuck the nigger!, he proclaimed.

 No.2195

There was a record scratch, and a dog covered it's eyes with it's paws, as the crowd drew silent and turned to look at Louis.
"Dude…" said Gandalf the gray, and Gandalf the white, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight, and Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie,and Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi The Genie. Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger. Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan. Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan. "You can't say that word, man…"

Meanwhile Yuki-chan's underwear

 No.2196

stank of braps.

 No.2198

She let out one final mega brap, that propelled her out of the window into the alley below.

 No.2199

Falling head over heels, and landing in an enormous pile of discarded McDonald's containers, and stale food.
From the squalor emerged a rat who regarded Yuki with a quizzical expression. "Don't get many travelers round these parts, stranger" said the rat.

 No.2201

"I'll let thee pass if you answer these questions three", the rat declared. "Question the first:

 No.2202

"got any fries?"

 No.2203

>>2202
AYO AYO WHAT'S GOOD NIGGA I GOTS ME SUM FRIES UP HERE IN MY BACKPACK NIGGA

shouts tyrone from above, while still balls deep in Louis CK's saggy asshole.

 No.2204

"ask the chocolate man for the fries" say the rat.

 No.2205

HOL UP IMMA FINNA BUST A NUT IN DIS BITCH

Louis grinned as he anticipated Tyrone's seed.

 No.2206

Unfortunately what he received was Tyrone's Sneed.

 No.2207

The mexican-jewish mongrel hardcore black man/white woman interracial supremacist comedian pulled the shit-encrusted BBC out of his anus and got on his knees immediately, obediently, to suck out the negro semen out of the tap, fresh, just how he liked it.

 No.2208

But as Gandalf the gray, and Gandalf the white, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight, and Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie,and Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi The Genie. Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger. Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan. Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan

AND

Gandalf the gray, and Gandalf the white, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight, and Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie,and Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi The Genie. Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger. Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan. Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan

cried out in vain, the Cuck King found his head pulverized into smithereens by a 500 CSNF's-P-H GIGASNEED rocketing out Tyrone's penile rope.

 No.2209

"that's a no on the fries then?" said the rat, as the studio audience erupted in laughter.

 No.2211

SUDDENLY

 No.2212

a

 No.2215

goose clapped.

"My question number two…" spake the rat.

 No.2216

"Who btfo-ed dup?"

 No.2217

Yuki wasn't sure she understood the question, for indeed, who did btfo dup, but reality itself?

 No.2218

If dup is btfo'd in a forest, is anyone there to btfo him? Yuki considered this question for a while, and began to feel herself reaching enlightenment.

 No.2219

kyle rittenhouse murdered two people in cold blood

 No.2220

Said the attorney as he rose from the containers. "Wait your turn", ordered the rat. "The zipperhead needs to answer my questions first!"

 No.2221

"Question the third, and this is really important…"

 No.2222

What size is Tyrone's penis?

 No.2223

"I don't know" said Yuki. "I looked away because I'm pure and virginal".

 No.2224

"you have answered satisfactorily" said the rat "you may enter our magical realm"

 No.2225

The ground began to shake and shift, and up from the gargantuan pile of waste came a gateway in the shape of the REGISTERED TRADEMARK McDonald's golden arches.

 No.2227

"Many years I have guarded the gate, awaiting the coming of that most precious of rarities. A pure and genuine anime virgin. Go now, you must, to the Burger dimension. It is of utmost importance."

 No.2228

As Yuki stepped into the other side, she found herself in front of President Bidup already in mid-speech.

"I've adopted the great nigger Tyrone from, uh, the um um, the nigger league."

 No.2230

But Yuki has never heard of President Bidup, and frankly finds herself more interested by plastic bag blowing in the wind. She chases the bag, free as a bird. Completely unfazed by the endless tedium of American politics.

 No.2231

"Now hold on there miss, I'm gonna give you the full load today", said bidup as Yuki chased for the bag. But the commander-in-chief's legs wouldn't last for an inch. Yuki was too driven to catch the bag.

 No.2232

She dove into the air, and into a ravine.
The wind whipped at her hair, as the mincemeat landscape hurtled by. "Oh boy, oh boy. Something had better break my fall" though Yuki.

 No.2233

File: 1636765654308.jpg (43.28 KB, 600x337, 600:337, download (3).jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

The ground rushed toward her. A purple spec formed in her vision, which grew rapidly larger, soon taking the shape of two large spheroids.
At great speed, Yuki-chan's face made contact with Grimace's firm flabby buttcheeks.

 No.2234

One scene transition later: Yuki stands before King Ronald McDonald, in his ruined court.
The walls of the building are built of clear plastic, faded and browning from years of neglect. The tiled floors have not seen a broom in many a year. Little piles of dust, filth, and the paper casings from plastic drink straws litter the ground all around Yuki's feet. Along both sides of the hall stand two great banquet tables, piled up with a wide variety of McDonald's foods, discontinued menu items and all. Green and rotten, crawling with insects.
"Why did you come here?" says Ronald. His voice a quiet rasp.
Under the peeling makeup, Yuki can make out deep lines of age, and the weary look in his eye tells the rest of the tale.
Beside Ronald sits the Hamburglar, or what remains of him. His mind has long since departed. He stares, absently. A puddle of drool pooling around his pot belly, and dribbling down onto his faded striped pants.
From the shadows, near bathroom and baby changing area, leers Mac Tonight. Pants around his knees. The sight of fertile flesh has made him half erect for the first time since his character was discontinued, and he doesn't plan to waste this moment. He strokes, gently, as not to damage his arthritic hands, and shoots Yuki wink.

 No.2235

Yuki made a slight blush, for Mac was the handsomest of all Mikkey Ds mascots. Just then, Mac brought out his piano and

 No.2236

Fell, shattering the piano, along with his hip.
"There's no wonder for you to see here, child" said King Ronald. "Not anymore".

 No.2238

"no one believes in McDonald's anymore"

 No.2239

K

K

K

starts faintly echoing around mcdonaldland, slowly but surely getting louder as Moon Man stands up and regains his strength.

 No.2240

"There he goes again. Memer! We got a memer in here!" says Ronald.

 No.2241

"THERE'S A NIGGER IN HERE!!!!?" yelled Bidup.

 No.2242

"no" says Ronald.

 No.2243

"Indeed, no niggers here!" declared Moon Man.

 No.2244

Ronald turns again to Yuki.
"You see the shit I have to put up with? Day in, day out. Nothing but memers and schemers. What ever happened to the soul of McDonald's? Gone from this world like everything else good and pure and homegrown. The smiles used to come free, you know? America is dead."

 No.2245

It was at this moment Yuki began to wonder what she was doing in the Burger Dimension with a bunch of manic depressive fast food mascots, and President so boring no one even wants to make fun of him.

 No.2246

What indeed could this strange place want with a pure and chaste virgin waifu such as herself?

 No.2247

The portal reopened. Someone had trailed Yuki to burger dimension. It was

 No.2248

Gandalf the gray, and Gandalf the white, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight, and Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie,and Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi The Genie. Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger. Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan. Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan

and at the helm…REGINALD ALEXANDER MOSLEY

 No.2249

"the blood of the virgin shall be spilled" said Mosley. "And then we end all of this"

Translator's note: it is thought that spilling the blood of the Virgin in the court of Ronald McDonald has power to revivify the soul of the American empire

 No.2250

BIX NOOD tyrone says, echoing throughout the void

 No.2251

"who is this unlikely hero of color" gasps the crowd?

 No.2252

"It's my adopted nigger Tyrone", said Bidup.

"And, not a joke, I….

BBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

 No.2253

Tryone starts to shit

 No.2254

A smear of shit obscures Reginald Alexander Mosley's vision, as Ronald grabs Yuki and activates the entrance to his hidden escape tunnel next to the McFlurry dispenser, taking off into the bowels of his castle. Shouts of confusion erupt as the two run.
"No more deaths. Not on my watch. They may be savages, but I'm Ronald McDonald. I have a brand image to maintain."

 No.2255

File: 1637032887085.jpg (17.59 KB, 222x235, 222:235, killyaself.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

<low tier god voice> ayo these gay ass prog FBI SPOOK ASS BIX NOODANITE, "KILLMONGER W/ THE STILL DONGER" ASS GOOKIES con-vergin awn this litty pape-stack gotta dew wat i dayum well recommend…

YOU SHOULD KILL YOUR-SELF…NOW!

 No.2256

The nigger god's proclamations went unheard. Moon Man took a defensive stance.

 No.2257

And shit his pants

 No.2258

Because he fucking loved her pussy.

 No.2259

But hated the unions.

 No.2260

He began to scream with great anger because he made an idiot of himself on an online imageboard; not realizing he had done so until it was too late.

 No.2261

he throw the chair across the room

 No.2262

This made moonman feel provoked, so he…

 No.2264

so he…

 No.2265

so he uh…

 No.2266

…uhh, blubber-snarks, satchel-charge negro league mumble malarks…

 No.2267

The hilarious Moon Man arc peters out from lack of artistic vision.

Meanwhile, Yuki-chan and Ronald McDonald escape across the mincemeat wastes in a dune buggy

 No.2268

File: 1637095917844.gif (62.95 KB, 650x650, 1:1, 1637011053660.gif) ImgOps iqdb

>>2267
With tyrone in hot pursuit, penis in hand, slavering like the savage he is

 No.2270

Ronald rolls up the wind shield

 No.2271

I SUCK SUCK SUCK

I FUCK FUCK FUCK

THE WEENIES

 No.2272

AY YO HOL UP shouted Tyrone as engaged in his pursuit. SO U BE SAYIN, he barked loudly.

WE

 No.2273

Ronald tries to ram Tyrone off the road.
"OH, WE GOT A MEMER IN HERE" Says Ronald. "FUNNY MEME! FUNNY MEME!".

 No.2274

"YO LIL TYRONNY" he yelled as he threw a bottle full of urine against Tyrone's car, "HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?"

 No.2275

"Who do you think you are? You can't go back where you come from and should be glad that we put up with you here!" Ronald shouted. "That's what you think!" said Tyrone, "My masters back home are so fond of me that I know for certain if I went home they would never let me leave again."

 No.2276

"What did he mean by this?" says Yuki-chan, suddenly remembering she exists.

 No.2279

SUDDENLY

 No.2280

"It means Fuck you, you're a shitty forced character that nobody likes or finds funny. We all just want to talk about McDonaldland, Louis CK, Tyrone, and based Reginald"

 No.2281

File: 1637181202320.png (259.98 KB, 381x409, 381:409, ltgtreatyaself.png) ImgOps iqdb

, the intonator of all honoraryan instigators, DAULAUN SPARROW A.K.A. LOW. TIER. GAAAA-AAAHD!! boomed forth, descending on a lightning pole from the heavens, golden cloak aflutter in the billow winds meaty-muddling his entrance.

 No.2282

And then Dualaun Sparrow throws a bolt of lightening into Yuki-Chan's throat, killing her and turning her into ash, ending that stupid character's gay-ass arc for good.

 No.2283

monald rives his vaer inrto the volcan and jies lol
two blongus bglongus grimble on the phongus, shnevel shnelvle crooges clog boogge boggee bogge

 No.2285

The competition out of the way, Reginald Alexander Mosley was now free to peruse his true goal here. Stealing the secret of the big mac secret sauce, so he can open the best dang ol burger joint in Neo Texas, along with his protege red faced Jerret. They met off screen, and had a riveting adventure where they fought the lord baron of Neo Texas or something. You could have seen it, but you were all reading about nigger dicks instead, so you'll just have to imagine what happened in your heads. Maybe when all of this is a successful multi-media franchise, they'll pitch a spin-off, "Reginald Alexander Mosley: The Missing Adventures", and some Kike will get the job to direct it out of nepotism and ruin it, but I digress.

 No.2286

Tyrone was in hot pursuit, penis still in hand

 No.2287

And in his penis…

 No.2288

Lived a…

 No.2289

Sat a little orange man

 No.2290

And the little orange man had a little orange plan.

 No.2291

>>2290
His plan was to escape the inside of Tyrone's penis.

 No.2292

So he could finally buck break Tyrone.

 No.2294

And that's really funny.

 No.2295

All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes.

 No.2296

LOL, guffawed Ronald.

 No.2297

Who had NOT in fact driven into the volcan and jied.

 No.2298

>>2297
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL

Sighed Ronald,

Out here in McDonald Land, we do things a little… Differently…

Ronald states, as he unbuckles his clown pants and gets his breaking rod ready for when Tyrone catches up to him.

 No.2299

Hold the phone. That's not Ronald. That's the Memester!

 No.2300

"Haha! Here's a classic for you boys" says the Memester, and he starts to dance the Hamster Dance.
Reginald Alexander Mosley has to admit. It's the damned funniest thing he's ever seen. What's next? Numa Numa? Epic for the win? I just… I can't even… My sides…

 No.2301

Just then a scientist burst into the room announcing his brilliant new invention: the diaper. Now man could relieve himself has he walked instead of relying on stationary toilets that require complex sewer systems to sustain. Soon all toilets and outhouses in the world were destroyed and everyone, including every character in this story, either living or dead, and every character that may be introduced in the future, was wearing diapers all the time.

 No.2302

"Finally some good news" says Reginald.

 No.2306

lightly parping.

 No.2307

tunefully shlarping

 No.2308

I'M GAY

 No.2309

File: 1637283856229.jpeg (24.88 KB, 637x380, 637:380, 1637247836218.jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

Says Tom

 No.2310

Sawyer

 No.2311

>>2309
Butane and butane accessories.

 No.2312

"AYO NIGGA YOU AIN'T EJECTIN MY CHICKEN LEG COON ASS OUTTA THE STORY THAT EASY BITCH ASS NIG-GER!"

shrills out LOW. TIER. GOOOOD! once again, loping after Tyrone and Ronald and Reginald and the Hamster Dancer Memester-mancer, an aurelian bolide of perfect peanut butter complexion flanked by six of his most loyal yet melungeonist shadow-mastered CLOAKS, their dark robes striating the sunset yawn as they synchronized their sprints flawlessly with the COVENANT KANG'S rooster-cluck stride.

 No.2313

Bros, I don't know who Low Tier God is…

 No.2314

aside from that he was a rhino-dicked nigger.

NO BBC EQUALS ANGER, he dindu-ed loudly.

 No.2315

I miss the plot.

 No.2316

WHEN SUDDENLY, WHO SHOULD RUN UP BEHIND THE CONVOY RACING THROUGH THE MCDONALDLAND COUNTRYSIDE

But…

LOUIS CK

Running fast as he can at the prospect of not one, but two rhino dicked niggers in the form of fan-favorite Tyrone and new buck on the block Daulaun Sparrow, his teeny weeny white peeny flapping in the wind behind him as he chases the pair of nubian gods

 No.2317

"I would just like to inform everyone" Said Louis CK. "that we have passed 40,000 words, making this officially a novel. Well done, everynyan".
And then he got eaten by a pickle sandworm.

 No.2318

The two black buck studs shed many tears upon finding out that they lost their favorite cuckold to something gay the above redditor said.

One question still hung on all members of the great chase's mind:

*Who would become the ringmaster of the interracial breeding grounds now?*

 No.2319

me

 No.2320

Said Bidup. With no one else to break the bucks, it was Bidup's turn to oblige.

 No.2321

And then he got eaten by a tomato wilderbeast.

 No.2322

The end

 No.2323

For real this time you guys we promise.

 No.2325

SO I ANNOUNCE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE COMMENCEMENT OF THE 25TH ANNUAL

INTERRACIAL

BREEDING

GROUNDS

 No.2326

The Hamburglar dreamed of better days.

 No.2328

The old days, the bold days, the crystal haze.

 No.2329

The Creme Anglaise.
Those crazy days. Those hazy days.
The Hamburglar dreamed.

 No.2330

Somewhere inside the quiet walls of his mind, he was still there, and he was still him.
The old days. The gold days. The sounds of the parade.
But then it was now, and they were all gone, the places, the names all lost at sea.
The Hamburglar dreamed.

 No.2331

dreamed of all the big black cock his wife would be taking at the IBG

 No.2332

>>2331
Right, you ruined. it
I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done

It's a masterpiece, call the publisher.

 No.2333

>>2332
Well normally you don't go straight to the publisher unless it's one of those micro internet publishing houses like Terror House or Mystery Grove. For a real established big time publisher like MacMillan or Harper Collins, you have to get a hold of a literary agent first. The agent acts as that first layer of filtering to keep publishers from drowning in garbage manuscripts, and if it gets past yor agent he'll call the publisher for you.

 No.2335

>>2333
This isn't a garbage manuscript luckily, it's 10/10 wonderful kino in book form

 No.2336

said

 No.2337

Zekariah

 No.2338

, pining for the second coming of an Armond White narrative overview.

But he would be Waiting for Godot(tm) until The End of His Days (c)(r)(dupbtfo) for such reprise.

 No.2340

But the kino critic nigger wasn't done yet.

 No.2343

He spent his days eating salted peas. Each one saltier than the last. He did this every day, and for a very important reason.

 No.2347

It was his life's goal to find the saltiest pea.

 No.2348

File: 1637519063794.jpg (1.37 MB, 2142x3330, 119:185, King-Edward-VII_(cropped).jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

"This picture right here should be the cover for the /lit/ rights a book novel" Zekariah then said.

 No.2349

File: 1637545529373.jpg (32.22 KB, 550x325, 22:13, armond white.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

The Door Was

By Armond White

ngl bih i stopped paying attention after the Pickle Reginald part no cap lmao

 No.2350

Been too busy sucking on salted peas.

 No.2351

The garden variety pea has a smooth and absorbent texture, that lends itself proudly to the salting process.

 No.2352

When I was a younger man, I encountered a strain of Gibraltian long pea. Seven feet tall, and self-lactating.

 No.2353

I drank it's salty juices, and for that small moment, I knew heaven.
What's a man to do, after an experience like that. How can anything ever compare?

 No.2355

And then what could compare hit me:

BIG

BLACK

COCKS

 No.2356

So I tried to suck my own cock.

 No.2357

I succeeded, but it became lodged in my throat until I choked to death. Truly, the moral of my life was "Be careful what you wish for."

 No.2358

>>2357
I then awoke in a white room surrounded by men in white robes. I asked if I was in Heaven to which they responded "No, this is a diaper filling plant. We revived you so that you could be one of our poopoopeepee slaves. You'll need to put on and fill at least 40 diapers today to meet the demands of our customers. Now get to it!"
I shuddered. There was no way I could possibly fill that many diapers in one day. Unless…

 No.2359

I sucked my own cock.

 No.2360

It was a big-a-bash

 No.2362

But to conclude, I feel that "BRA-AP: The Memoirs of Reginald Alexander Mosley/Mosely (featuring interludes by a variety of characters): A Literary Experience" is the most important piece of outsider art of our generation, providing a snapshot of the zeitgeist of the times, and a unique insight into the minds of the mentally ill, sexually deviant, and the otherwise downtrodden and pitiful creatures who inhabit stale internet subcultures, and I'm not just saying that because I wrote most of it.
My only regrets are the lack of a conclusion to the "Red Faced Jerret: The Albino Bandito" story arc, and the fact that Joe Biden isn't funny.

 No.2363

File: 1637672844970.jpg (95.3 KB, 1920x1080, 16:9, download (2).jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

The Nostalgia Critic reviews: WILD REGGIE

Wild Reggie was a real crazy cartoon in the 90's! It broke new ground, and thrilled audiences with it's pro-fascist message, and liberal attitude toward pedophilia, but was it cool, or was it crap? Do the allegations against the show's creator Peter Kiddielove hold water? Let's find out!

 No.2365

And then Wild Reggie took the brown pill, mateys.

 No.2366

Linkara couldn't believe it. This flew in the face of the Wild Reggie comic tie-in.

 No.2367

"Here at Atop the Fourth Wall(where bad comics burn) we take continuity seriously" says Linkara, donning his magical hat, and brandishing his magical gun.

 No.2369

"I demand to speak to the editor"

 No.2370

File: 1637732252340.png (46.48 KB, 300x256, 75:64, thumb_im-a-nasty-cock-slut….png) ImgOps iqdb

WHY ARE THERE NIGGERS IN THIS BOOK!?, roared the comic cuck.

 No.2371

Not many people know this but in secret Linkara is a dyed in the wool huwhyte nationalist. Over a burger with Richard Spencer he once explained that the Light Bringer is metaphor for clearing away those dirty darkies.
"You see, Richard" he said in his best alpha male nasal inflection. "We Aryan brothers need to stick together. The day of the rope is coming, I intend to personally gut every monkey I see. From chimpan-a to chimpan-z. By the way how did you like my Power Rangers retrospective?"

 No.2372

when BOOM

all of a sudden Tyrone from several pages ago catches up to them, penis in hand, psychotic look in his face, busting through the wall next to Linkara and Richard like the kool-aid man

 No.2373

"Oh, I do love the colored folk, and their firm yet wiry physique" lies Linkara, while Richard Spencer runs for the hills, knowing his time is up, and an effeminate little twink like himself could never last something truly wild and bestial in nature. Unfortunately he has become slow and flabby from too many gourmet burgers, and visits to the opera, and both of his legs give out, snapping clean in half like twigs.
"But I still need to retake Constantinople" he cries, before he expires on the pavement, unloved, undignified, not even a footnote in history.

Tyrone breaks out into song:
"DIS IS DE TIME OF DE JUNGLE KING
BOW DOWN WHITE BOY AND GIVE ME TING
YOU WAS WEAK AND FLABBY AND GAY
AND NOW IT IS YOU TIME TO PAY

YOU PLAY DE GAME, YOU LOSS DE GAME
AND NOW YOU IS DE CRYING SHAME
SO GET ON DE FLOOR, AND CRY SOME MORE
YOU'LL BE WHIPPED AND STRIPPED AND POOR

I KICK YOU IN DE TEETH, I EAT ALL YOU BEEF
I FUCK AND CUCK AND GIVE YOU GRIEF
CAUSE DIS IS DE TIME OF DE JUNGLE KING
NOW GET ON YOUR KNEES AND KISS MY RING"

In this moment, Linkara regretted wasting his life watching Power Rangers.

 No.2374

And that's my review of WILD REGGIE!
I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it, so you don't have to!

 No.2375

when BOOM

Louis CK from several pages ago catches up to them, micropenis in hand, pyschotically horny look in his face, busting through the opposite wall next to Linkara and Tyrone also like Kool-Aid Man

And he begins to…

 No.2376

Self-reflect

 No.2377

on white people. Louis realized his jokes made at their expense may have gone too far.

 No.2378

The End

 No.2379

of bidup

 No.2380

And as the president has a long-awaited heart attack, Louis CK's self reflection period ends. Louis, micropenis still throbbing, still horny, decides to…

 No.2381

Self reflect

 No.2382

And in Louis' second self reflection session, he reflects on…

 No.2384

All the little children. All the little baby Jesus..

 No.2385

And Louis says, eyes still wild with cocklust, micropenis throbbing with all its underwhelming might, for all the world to see:

 No.2386

"DUP?! DOUBLE -FUCK- THE -DOUBLE NIGGER-!"

 No.2387

Tyrone looks at him awkwardly, wondering what exactly that had to do with the pair of self reflection sessions Louis just had.

Linkara isn't sure how to respond to him.

 No.2388

Linkara turns to the camera, and looks you dead in the eye.
"It never ends, this shit"
Laughtrack.wav plays loudly on repeat.

 No.2389

The sounds of laughter are replaced by a dull industrial droning, as the camera pans slowly away from Linkara's frozen expression. The camera drifts out into the studio lot and comes to settle on a man. Just an ordinary workman, a Janitor some might say, as he sweeps the studio lot, silently and methodically. The scene carries on for eight minutes.

 No.2390

Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep.

 No.2391

He sweeps his lot. it's all he does. He does it every day, and he's proud of his work. No one pays him, but no one ever questions why he's there. It's his little place in the world, and he owns it.

 No.2392

One day a Man in a tall dark hat and flowing robe approaches.
The man hands the janitor a letter, then tips his cap to him and disappears into the night.
The letter reads:
YOUR EFFORTS HAVE BEEN NOTICED

 No.2393

Nobody pays the janitor, so he has to resort to turning tricks on Linkara, Tyrone, CK, and the rest of the production staff ot afford the basics like food. He is glad his efforts are starting to be noticed.

 No.2394

The letter continues:
WE INVITE YOU, GOOD SIR, TO THE HELLFIRE CLUB
BE THERE, OR BE SQUARE

 No.2395

"I do it for free", thinks the jannie. "My total paycheck is zero dollars and zero cents!"

 No.2396

All I ask is that I have an unlimited supply of hot pockets.

 No.2397

Laughtrack.wav plays

 No.2398

Bidup roared back at the laughter.

"I-I-I'M NOT JOKING I'M SERIOUS NOT A JOKE NIGGERS!"

 No.2399

i hat nigrges

 No.2400

Laughtrack.wav plays

 No.2402

this is the funni jokes

 No.2403

"That's not funny", said the janny.

 No.2404

IS THE FUNNI JOEKS!!

 No.2405

The letter concluded with an earnest, heartfelt plea to arrive at the hellfire club at 2:30 AM wearing absolutely. nothing. at. all. Ass-naked is the hellfire club dress code.

 No.2406

"what an odd request"

 No.2407

Said the janny, before dutifully stripping off his janitor uniform (in tatters, he hasn't had the money to buy a new one in decades naturally, as he makes no money), exposing his flabby, grub-like frame to the world.

 No.2412

NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER

Said

 No.2413

le funni joek

 No.2414

>>2413
said Linkara, snapping out of his frozen trance in the background.

 No.2415

"I love le funni Joek" said Linkara in his sexy nasal drawl. "But when are we going to get to the Hellfire Club?"

 No.2424

"NOT UNTIL…THE DUPPHOECY, IS YET FULFILLED!"

 No.2427

What's the dupphoecy?

 No.2429

Can anyone in this room tell me what the dupphoecy is? You wouldn't just go sayin' a thing like that, now would you? Unless you had an answer. You wouldn't just go throwing that out there, like a turd for ol me to clean up?

 No.2431

It was at this point I had realized my fatal mistake, the error which would lead me to my demise - I had to make myself scarce, but all of my exits in the room were blocked.

 No.2432

blocked by

 No.2433

Nigger dicks.

 No.2434

Louis CK burst through the wall like the kool-aid man, into the story yet again, still naked, still with his TEENY WEENY WHITE PEENY throbbing with excitement in its cock cage, at the mere mention of nigger dicks.

 No.2435

then what happened?

 No.2436

>>2435
Something that caught even the CuckKing himself off-guard. The sound of tortured metal blasted through the ceiling, pounding at my ears until my world was consumed by the shrill intensity of the noise. Several in the room fell, grasping at their temples as if a daemon had invaded their skulls and were trying to escape.

 No.2437

This, of course, did nothing to quell CuckKing's raging 1.4 inch boner his micropenis had from the nigger dicks blocking the exit. Nothing could distract him forever from his intense black cocklust.

 No.2438

And then

 No.2441

Louis' small white maggot-dick pulsed and strained against the steel of his cock cage.

 No.2442

DUP? DUP!!!!?

He roared. TRIPLE FUCK THAT NIGGER!!!!

 No.2443

and then


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