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 No.220[Last 50 Posts]

The door was…

 No.221

…embedded into the cold war-era concrete like an inflamed boil. The glowering portal was all pitted steel curves and rust-speckled plates, as cold and Soviet as the grim-faced men who'd commissioned it. I readied my…

 No.222

…Eurasian slave and told him to get ready to breech the cold world which might just lay on the other side. Whether it be riches or death behind the door I would let Zekariah be the first to find out…

 No.223

Patting him one last time on the head, and kissing his pert buttocks, I gave a hefty shove. Six seconds, then a hearty crack and a shrill yelp. He must have fallen four/five storeys down that dank shaft. Now I knew. "How are you doing down there, old boy?" I called out…

 No.224

But I heard only silence in reply. I stood there staring down the shaft for what felt like hours until I suddenly heard a loud cacophony of what sounded like a thousand different voices, all screeching the same phrase…

 No.225

"Dup" They chanted. "Dup". Over and over again. What could it mean? The sound was maddening. Well, this is what they signed you up for, old man. No turning back now. I secured my climbing ropes, and descended into the abyss…

 No.226

My cock was so hard it felt like my boner had a boner and it was leaking precum like a tranny stimulated prostate. I felt pretty.

 No.227

In, out, retrieve the materials. That was the deal. Then a complete pardon from the Crown for my boy molesting misadventures in the Orient. A simple enough task, I had thought, though now…

 No.228

I faltered. Even amidst my state of perpetual arousal, excited by that young Eurasian tiger's leather clad buttocks, I, sir Reginald Alexander Mosley, first Englishman on Jupiter, champion of the oxygen wars, and notorious sexual predator, felt a fear come over me. Such a fear I had not felt since…

 No.229

the time I was knotted by a labradoodle named Zach. Still fear is the mind killer after all and this hole wasn't going to enter itself.

 No.230

Which is what I had said to those boys in Burma. Haha! Anyhow, by this point I had abseiled about half way down the shaft and…

 No.231

I had worked up quite a sweat. So I reached into my Nike backpack and retrieved a still cool, thanks to my Thermos backpack cooler pad, bottle of evian®. I took 3 sips and placed the bottle into the far right portion of my backpack next to my salami and rye sandwich, a map of Burma, a Bad Dragon sex toy, a copy of Milk and Honey, a SanDisk® usb stick with 32gb of memory, a popper, a signed picture of Queen Elizabeth II and my iPhone 9, which I usually kept on my person but found the elegant design bulged distractingly in my Calvin Klein Bermuda shorts…

 No.232

I slid the rest of the way down the rope until my feet hit cold bottom. Zekariah's cold bottom, in fact. He lay, stiff and blue. Curious wounds resembling bite marks all about his supple body. Turning him over, I found his face contorted in a vision of terror, and four letters carved into the delicate flesh of his chest and belly. "BTFO". What could they mean? I shed a single tear for the lost beauty, checked the revolver at my hip, and turned to investigate the chamber…

 No.233

Inside was a nigger, niggerly niggering around as niggers do. He niggered over to me with his nigger form and nigger moves opening his fat nigger lips revealing a drooping nigger accent and salivating nigger tongue. "Nigger" I thought, after which I said, "NIGGER!" at this filthy stinking nigger standing before me. The nigger looked shocked. Nigger tears welled up in his bugged out nigger eyes revealing the knowing of his inescapable nigger identity. I considered putting down this nigger dog and raised my gun to his nappy nigger head and then…

 No.243

the foul apparition simply vanished. I shrugged, then proceeded to remove all of my clothing, and bounded gleefully into the welcoming darkness. Free as a bird. Horny as a dog. Something called to me.

Chapter 2
In the Orifice of Madness

 No.244

>>231
Michael, is that you?

 No.245

I'm not sure why I said that. Something was metaphorically not literally calling me. Anyway Michaela had died years ago due to constipation complications zhe developed on the carnivore diet.

 No.246

Ate a bad batch of space monkey soup while stationed in the jungles of Mars, during the Neo-Zulu uprising, terrible business. The parasites grew to the size of guinea pigs and ate the little fuck nugget from the inside out. All they found was thon's boots and skid-marked boxer briefs.

 No.247

As I walked into the Orifice of Madness I encountered a kike, kikely kikeing around as kikes do. He kiked over to me with his jew form and heeb moves flaring the kikel shaped nostrils on his hooked heeb nose. "Kike" I thought, after which I said, "KIKE!" at this filthy rat jew standing before me. The kike looked shocked. Crocodile tears welled up in his beady kike eyes revealing the scheming cowardice of the jewish identity. I considered shoving the kike into an oven and raised my Mauser C96 pistol at his lizard brain and then…

 No.248

in a flash I was in Barbados!

 No.249

And just as suddenly I was back in the Orifice. That was quite the trip I thought to myself. Reminds me of the time me and the Prophet Muhammad went to…

 No.250

Burger King

 No.251

It had all started peacefully enough. We had entered the Burger King, arm in arm, chatting gaily, appreciating the decor and fine carpeted floors. The greater had lead us to our table, where we had placed our order and sat a while discussing the prosperity of the eternal British mega empire. The first course was served. French cut potato chips, lightly salted with a garnish of tomato pate. Delightful. The prophet and I readily devoured the entree, while sipping on the finest Pepsi cola, and trading amusing anecdotes. However when the second course of Hamburg steak ensemble with pork accessories arrived, something had changed in the prophet's expression…

 No.252

Muhammed flipped out upon seeing the pork flaps slung haram across the bread. I however calmed him down by assuring him that it was in fact a nine year old girl's labia resting on the burger and not pork. Muhammed calmed down upon hearing this, certain a sin had been avoided. I quietly began to question my companionship with this brown towel-head and excused myself to go to the bathroom…

 No.253

On my way to the cubicle I passed a curious man. Skin dark as coal, dressed in an embroidered robe featuring designs of implacable cultural origin. He shot me a wink and his features contorted into a wry smile, irradiating predatory intent. I tell you, little phases a man such as myself, but this individual, there was something about him that chilled me to the core. As he past me by, I caught a waft of something like sage and perhaps burnt cinnamon, and in just a moment he was gone from my sight. I caught my breath and gathered myself together, then strode into the toilet cubicle to relieve myself, and there I saw it. Floating in the bowl. Pitch black and menacing, as if daring me to try to flush. It's darkness seemed to reach out to something inside of me, not unlike the ancient tunnels my naked and wobbling form now flew through with ecstatic glee

 No.257

Inside the toilet was a faggot, fagily fagging around as faggots do. He fagged over to me with is queer form and homo movies flapping his sodomite wrists effeminately. "Faggot" I thought, after which I said, "FAGGOT!" at this filth fudge packing faggot standing before me. The faggot looked shocked. Faggot tears welled up in his gay eyes revealing the sissy nature of the faggot identity. I considered lighting the faggot on fire like Sodom & Gomorrah and raised my Zippo™ lighter at his faggot hair…

 No.258

I may have forgotten to take my schizophrenia medication that morning.

 No.259

>>258
After checking my pillbox guess what walked into the room? A niggerfaggotkike apeishly prancing around and rubbing his hands as abominations do. He bix n00ded over to me with his GRIDS form and subversive moves counting his shekels greedily. "Niggerfaggotkike" I thought, after which I said, "NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE!" at this gay black and jewish chimera standing before me. The niggerfaggotkike looked shocked. AIDS tainted tears welled up in his gorilla face wich peaked out between curly sidelocks revealing his beastly twisting talmudic identity. I considered nuking the terror right there and hovered my finger over the launch button…

 No.261

I stopped reading at that point. I guess it was funnier in my head and seeing it written down like that made me realize it was just gay and not based at all. I added an ellipsis to the end of my sentence and pressed reply…

 No.262

So anyway, I was in this cave, right

 No.263

Chapter 3
Deeper into the Orifice

My mind had gone mad it seemed. Perhaps this trip had been a mistake. How long had I been pursuing the folly? Little did I know that I would soon have more answers than questions answered, basically I didn't yet know that I would have an abundance of answers but when I did know then I would have them and this would be a question as to how I had so many but that too would be answered.

 No.264

>>263
Chapter 4
NIGGERS
NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER 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NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER

 No.265

It went. On and on that obscenity in my head, pulling me down toward the base and the bestial. Threatening to make me a frothing, gibbering imbecile, trapped in these tunnels for all eternity, stripped of all sanity and civility, screaming and fighting with shadows

 No.266

>>265
Chapter 5
KIKES
KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE 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KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE 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KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE

 No.267

The phantoms that assaulted me from the shadows were tediously lacking in wit or creativity. I pulled out my Nokia 3210 and started up a game of Snake

 No.268

Chapter 6
FAGGOTS
FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT

 No.269

With the mouth breather filtered I went back to exploring this cavern and wondering where my Eurasian slave could've gotten to… Then I heard a slow slurping sound that seemed to emanate from the very bowels of hell. It grew in intensity until there was a loud pop that seemed to vibrate the very air around me. He had to be close.

 No.270

>>269
It was a…
NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE
NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE 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NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE

 No.273

And sure enough he came to a chorus of Dup chants. "Why hello old chum" he said between gasps of breath. "Why didn't you answer me before?" "Oh I was occupied you see" "No I'm afraid I don't" "Don't be like that" "Like what" "Like that" We continued in this fashion for a few minutes until I struck him in his fat fleshy face and got back to my mission.

 No.275

CHAPTER 7
THE ETERNAL JANOID


JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY

 No.276

Chapter 4
Enter the Dupgeon

Down the passage to my left I saw an orange glowing light. A shudder passed through me at that moment but I sensed my destiny lay on this path. Cautiously I picked my way through the darkness and when I had come within some 20m of the light I could make out that the illumination was actually a diffuse reflection of a light source in some adjacent chamber. I cast my mind back to the chants I had heard earlier and

 No.277

readied myself for a meeting of whatever may lie beyond. Wishing I'd had my pistol with me now, which I had cast aside with all of my clothing and equipment amid that flourish of madness. Well, a man such as myself didn't conquer half of the solar system, and the orphanages of Bangkok, by not being able to handle his fists. Though I was suddenly quite self conscious of my shrivelled Lancashire sausage that bobbed to and fro, exposed to the elements. I pushed ahead into the illuminated chamber…

 No.280

>>277
The lights dimmed as I entered. The darkness grew when I stepped forward and retreated when I stepped back. I couldn't find what mechanism controlled it but it didn't feel natural. The darkness in the chamber felt meaty in a way the darkness outside didn't. One last false hope before you realized the Oasis was a mirage all along. Taking a lighter from my pocket I held it in front of my face, finally glad I kept smoking cigs instead of a vape.

 No.282

BRAAAP
I farted. Then from the darkness a response,
BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP

 No.285

Also, when I say pocket I mean the one I had surgically implanted behind my testicles so I could tickle my prostate

 No.290

but my prostate was not tickled now. In fact it was shriveled and trembling in terror at the stench which assaulted my nostrils. But before I could consciously react to the smell the lighter's flame exploded into the chamber revealing the most monstrous abomination I have ever beheld. The corpulent creature before me must've weighed a ton. Its skin was as black as night and each of its terrible breaths caused its body to quiver like a giant gelatin worm revealing countless fungal colonies within its fleshy folds.

 No.291

Perhaps hundreds of the hooded figures from my vision of the Burger King toilets were knelt down around the thing as if in prayer. As the monstrosity exhaled, the crowd inhaled in unison. In religious ecstasy they chanted. "DUP! DUP!"

 No.301

>>291
I shouted a reply I once heard my Eurasian slave mutter in his twisted dreams. "B-B-BTFO!!!!!!!!" but the chanting didn't stop "DUP,DUP,DUP…" again I mustered all of my courage and even louder yelled "BTFO!" I never understood what the acronym meant perhaps Bravely Tries Fornicating Orifices? Anyways the chamber quieted and a 300 pound Ogre stared at me with admonition…

 No.302

It was the Tyrant himself, Gahoolebachev of the Soviet Remnant. Dressed in the same robes as the rest of the crowd. His eyes glassy and seemingly unaware

 No.303

>>302
…This is my moment and I did not even realize it. The bipolar shitskin I met in that Japanese gangway had been very adamant to promote this ogre. "Catch bachev fucking ogre they follow me I am depressed but my queen I leave!" I chuckled to my self before whispering one last BTFO and pondered what I should do next…

 No.304

The items it was my task to retrieve should be in possession of the breakaway soviets, though looking at the ogre's form, clad in little but a poorly fitting robe, he didn't seem to be in possession of much, least of which his sanity. What had the Ruskies happened upon down here? Well, no time to worry about that now. The great beast lumbered toward me, frothing at the mouth, and babbling incomprehensible nothings. I tucked my penis between my legs, and readied myself for fisticuffs.

 No.306

ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING

 No.307

the ogre stung me with his wicked zingers. I retorted with a wollop to the bollock

 No.308

As the Ogre staggered and fell to the ground he suddenly disappeared. It was then a puff of smoke arose and all that remained was a pickle. Turning the Pickle over my eyes wept from the joy and majesty of the situation. A beautiful thing. The purest form of humor. He had turned himself…into a pickle. He was Pickle-Ogre.

 No.309

A nigger took the pickle ogre and shoved it up his own nigger ass. A kike then ate the pickle ogre from the nigger's ass after which a faggot then shoved his dick down the niggers throat as he tongued the kike's anus waiting for the pickle ogre to enter his own mouth. The disgusting display of nigger on kike on faggot depravity formed a monstrous homunculus which threatened the world as it rolled over everything like a game of Katamari Damacy for the Playstation 2.

 No.311

Those mushroom spores were rather potent

 No.312

HELP I'M BEING RAPED

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE RAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE

 No.314

RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE

 No.318

>>314

The distant roar of thunder punctuated the rip of rain against the window. Rape, rape, rape. My fingers pressed against the curtains, a polyester blend of some tacky blue. Herringbone weave? Rape, rape, rape. Turning my head, spotting the hem on the bottom of the fabric that I sewn with my mother that quiet Wednesday morning after dad left. Rape, rape, rape. There's no stifling my desire for escape. There's no escaping the desire to stifle it. There's no desire to stifle. There's no desire. Rape, rape, rape.

 No.320

>>318
I raped my way to the supermarket (rape zone) where I raped the cashier after raping the watermelons in the fruit (rape) section. I then raped some lottery tickets and won a million rapes which I immediately squandered by raping a million pedestrians. It's a truism that rape winners lose all their rapes within the first year of rape. Well, I found myself in the poor house (rape house) where I regained my wealth (rape capabilities) by pushing drugs (rape fuel) on rape victims who I raped. The world (rape planet) was mine (me: a rapist). Since I raped the world the only thing left to rape was space (rape sky).

 No.321

>>318
…A window? I thought to myself, that is odd because I am in a cave underground. But perhaps I was so far gone I may have actually entered another plane where all my son's are about to be atoned. Yes this made sense! all the faggot, nigger, like and rape was coming down on me like an ant caught in a category 5 gas hurricane on Jupiter's outer sphere, if this is it, please tell me now…

 No.323

All at once I awoke in an unfamiliar location. A pain in my head, and a faint taste of mushroom about my mouth. I lay on a stark bed. Across from me was a stool, over which was draped a simple tunic of a rough brown material. In the corner sat a foul smelling bucket. My eyes wandered to the barred door. Outside stood a familiar cloaked figure on guard. Beyond, I could see what appeared to be sunlight.

Chapter 5
Trapped in a cell in the Inner Earth

 No.324

>>323
Chapter 1
/dup/ BTFO

 No.475

File: 1598859045307.png (163.66 KB, 306x491, 306:491, hoseisoy.png) ImgOps iqdb

HEAD JANNY ALERT HEAD JANNY ALERT HEAD JANNY ALERT -DO NOT INCORPORATE EAN2 THE DOCUMENT THIS POAST WILL B JANNIED AFTUR DATE MENTIONED BELOW-

EVERIE POAST MAYDE EAN DIS THREAD BEFORE DATE OF DECEMBER 25TH, 2020 IZ ELIGIBLE 4 THE "CURRENT NISU/LIT/ NOVEL COMPENDIUM COMPILATION" SNAPSHAWT

DIS IZ AWL ARIGATO GOZAIMASU MANZAILERONIN OV DOUNIN-DIRIGEYSEROTONINS SAC-BLEU

 No.526

File: 1599577688925.jpg (34.83 KB, 400x400, 1:1, 5GV24uyr_400x400.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

>>323
cors bilmey govn'r oi shore do loike seein' mohommad bone the missis I do

 No.527

said the figure on guard. I wondered what he meant by this, but I don't make a habit of talking to commoners.

 No.532

"Ay' white boy!" a deep, aggressive voice behind me said. I turned around and saw 6'8', 350lb negro standing there. I began shaking with fear as he began too…

 No.533

play the xylophone

 No.535

File: 1599707577584.png (18.54 KB, 800x800, 1:1, teev-chan.png) ImgOps iqdb

>>533
and suck my cock

 No.536

erel

 No.537

"Can't get no good meat off-a these thangs" uttered the hulking negroid, and we were immediate friends. His name was DeShay L DeyTrey. He was a shoe-spitter and car rustler from Missouri Tennessee. It seemed he had stumbled into the inner Earth while digging for gold with stolen industrial equipment. He wasn't a smart man, he wasn't a good man, he wasn't an especially attractive or charming man, but beside myself I liked him. He reminded me of a pet bear I once owned.

 No.540

File: 1599843643820.jpg (805.13 KB, 1080x1080, 1:1, EfLCoYpWoAA_wib.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

>>537
WHAT'S MY NAME?

 No.607

>>540


"Me?" I bellowed- the room grew dead silent. I felt a wash of eyes move over me, as if they were pulling at my very form. Schizophrenic disjunction in the form of blue wall wasn't the word I was looking for but ever apparent in the mind as I looked over the pictures of wrinkly sad man variants whose eyes seemed ever addressed on me. The stupid green frogs, whose expressions seemed ever unwarranted in reference to their very targets of ire. I said, clearing my throat, I, the black man, 6'8, 350lbs, negro in full, "I am not DeShay L. DeTray, I lied. I have come to see that I am living nothing more than a self-referential hell in which no escape can be found in this broken mirror that somehow stands suspended in reflection to itself, "I am cockmongler, and I need dick and I need it in my ass, stat. 1200 CCs of cum straight in my ass. Immediately."

 No.608

And this reminded me of another tale…

 No.618

Sometime in the late 2090's. I was watching television in my sub-urban New England home. There was a knock upon the door. I promptly answered, as a proud family guy such as myself was apt to do in those days. I unlatched the door, and there he stood, in all his glory. "Holy crap!" I exclaimed to my red headed home-maker wife of the time "It's…

 No.619

>>618
JOHN FUCKING CENA

 No.620

"what the deuce? It's John Cena!" babbled my autistic spawn, as he sauntered his effeminate form into the parlor. I promptly beat him about both sets of cheeks, then tossed him to the dog. Insolent little shit.

 No.625

My wife started sobbing, "our son is dead!" The dog was chewing on his corpse.
I laughed, "Who cares? Nobody AUTISTIC deserves to live." Then I sauntered out of the house, donning as always my vintage Panama hat and slick leather jacket.

 No.627

John Cena and I attended the Royal Variety Performance of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. An absolute audio visual masterclass, underappreciated by the troglodytes of it's time. We laughed, we cried, we hooted with joy as the hero Jar Jar Binks saved the day from the dastardly droid army. We had a gay old time, but as the credits rolled, and the audience stood to give their applause, I spied something in the corner of my eye

 No.628

>>627
Sauntering into the theater was a sauntering gelatinous rat-like creature, which was rapidly sauntering toward John Cena and I. I was about to saunter away from it when John Cena held up his hand, looked me in the eye, and said

 No.629

"Saunter off, Reginald. I shall handle this". John Cena sauntered over to the rat, pulled out his patented John Cena camp stove, as the rat sauntered toward him, sauntering menacingly. John Cena caught the sauntering rat by the throat, and proceeded to saute the rat with sage and onions. "Anyone for saute'd sauntering rat" said John Saunter, as he sauntered out into the theatre lobby. The crowd stopped their sauntering, and sauntered toward John Saunter, who fed them all helpings upon helpings of saute'd saunter. It was like the feeding of the five thousand. I sauntered off to the bogs to have a shit, and that was when

 No.632

>>629
I woke up.

 No.635

Where was I now? Still in that cell? My grip on reality was getting spotty. I suspected those spores were mating with my brain. I wore a brown tunic that felt like a potato sack. My dark skinned companion was relieving himself into the bucket. He eyed me and said

 No.636

>>635
"I'm JOHN FUCKING CENA," as he ripped off his fake mustache to reveal his true identity.

 No.637

"John Cena? Here? but how?" I exclaimed. John Cena just shot me a wink, rallied off one final volley of stools into the bucket, and then, hefting the weight of the thing in his perfect muscled arms, he tossed the entire contents into the face of the watching guard. The guard doubled over, writhing in pain and surprise, as John Cena pulled up his pants, and tore the cell door off it's hinges. We took flight

 No.638

>>637
But apparently none of the guards cared enough to give chase. It wasn't long before we found out why. As we penetrated deeper and deeper into the putrid swampland surrounding the prison, we caught more and more glimpses of a mysterious, half-Asian figure…

 No.639

>>638
I stared at him and he stared back at me. It was none other than myself. And the swamp in which I was mired was none other than The Swamp of Self-Reflection. The guards knew that a hapa such as I was could never leave such a place alive. As I realized this the croaks of frogs and the chirping of cicadas that had previously permeated this dream-fog took on a sinister change of timbre; the echoes that reverberated among those damp black trees were now none other than the chink moans of my chink mother as she was getting violently bred by my white father all those years ago. I heard her call out; "ooooh oooh fucka me sir oooooh fucka me hard sir oooooo dave pleeza fucka me ooooh".
I couldn't move. Now I saw that I was up to my waist in the warm sucking pit of the swampland. The spores had me in their clutches. If I couldn't quickly extricate myself from this situation they would tear apart my ventricles, coat my skin in a rubbery layer of pus, and render me an oversized mushroom.

 No.644

And as I sank rapidly into that mire, I did the only thing I could think to do. I closed my eyes and began to pray to a God I wasn't sure I believed in. And to my utmost surprise, I heard a voice respond. It came faintly at first, as if from very far away, and then more audibly. It said

 No.645

>>644
"Kill yourself Zach."

 No.650

But I'm not Zack. I'm just Harry.

 No.651

>>650
"Well just 'Arry," retorted the voice, "Yer a hapa."

 No.652

"I'm a h'what?"

 No.665

"A hapa, Harold. Mixed race, subhuman, a waste of flesh and bone. You, Harry, are a hapa."

 No.668

>>665
I was deeply confused and beginning to panic. Me? A hapa? Impossible. I'd shat on Emma Watson on the internet more times than I could count. No, I simply could not be a hapa.

"But," I squeaked out, "I thought my name was Reginald."

 No.669

"I'll be honest. I'm struggling to keep track of this narrative" replied the voice of the fungal hive-mind.

 No.810

>>669
I passed the next few months in utter silence. Had I thought about myself and my adventures? I cant say it was more like a complete basketball-american-out. I do remember reaching the bottom of the pit. I met a cool chap or two. Did my vulgarities and collected my reward at the interspacial guildhall. With a full pardon of any crime, and 10 zarklone dollardoos in my pocket I set off for the icefields of Uranus…

 No.812

Aaah. The Icefields of Uranus, where the finest of exquisite slave-boys are birthed from tubes. Just the right amount of Aryan vigor. Just the right admixture of of bronzed Mediterranean. Just the slightest twinge of Oriental spice. Muscles wiry and firm. Features chiseled, yet soft to the touch. Born with a waiter's tray in one hand, and an opium pipe in the other. Pre-configured to serve, and to please in all the right ways.
"Yes, that's what you'd like, isn't it?"

 No.813

>>812
said the voice of Your Anus.

I gazed down into the great, icy hole, startled by the great Anus' ability to read the darkest desires of my innermost mind. Nevertheless, the shock passed quickly. I set my chin firmly, looked Your Anus straight in the eye, and said,

 No.814

"Wait a moment. There was something I was supposed to do"

 No.816

>>814
"But Ive completely forgotten so if you have a clue say it now or Ill ow your fucking brains out"

 No.819

I aimed my revolver, and blasted six steamy hot rounds into the chasm. Why is it always holes?

 No.822

BC BLUMPF WUZ MEANT 2 B BTFO BUT WUZNT BTFO WTF BLUMPFGJGH!!!! WHURR TF IZ BLUMPF'S BTFO!?!?! I KNEAD BTFO I WEEN BEETFOE EYE SKRIIIIIM BTFO TOOUZ SKEWPZ!!!!! SKOLOP 2Z-SKEWPS BTFO!!!! BTFO A NIGGER, DUP WUZ DUH BTFO-NOG EGG-NOGGYNO AHOYOYO!!!! GIMME BTFO OAR GYMME DEAF-TFO!!! BARUMPGHF BLUMPFG DUPPITY DUP

B
T
F
O

 No.823

I turned around to confront the source of this sudden outburst, and there he was, in the flesh. Piercing and predatory eyes greeted me from behind green tinted reading spectacles. taught lips curled to a menacing grin revealed a set of shark like teeth, sharpened to points. Excited spittle frothed through heavy breaths. He was portly. Heavy set. He wore a pinstripe brown suit, offset by an embroidered green shirt, and silken tie of darkest burgundy. He supported his heaving form with an ebony walking cane, and on his head sat the most gentlemanly of fedoras.
Why it was none other than the Great Farsh-Nuke.
"Daddy Trump is gone now, Reginald, and I've come for you, you Imperalist bastard! Neo-Liberalism has failed, and now I'm going to fill you with squirrel shit, and make you my pet!"
He popped the top off his cane, revealing a sharpened needle, dripping with a foul liquid that permeated the air with a fetid stench.
And then he lunged at me.

 No.825

SUDDENLY

 No.826

The cliff side gave way. No doubt due to the cosmic molester's great weight. And we tumbled arm in arm into the anus of Uranas. The Farsh-Nuke screaming obscenities, and lecturing me on the necessity of UBI as we went.

 No.831

>>826
"Is there a character that could even possibly EVEN TOUCH Madara Uchiha? Let alone defeat him," asked the monster.

"And I'm not talking about Edo Tensei Uchiha Madara," he went on, "I'm not talking about Gedou Rinne Tensei Uchiha Madara either. Hell, I'm not even talking about Juubi Jinchuuriki Gedou Rinne Tensei Uchiha Madara with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan and Rinnegan doujutsus (with the rikodou abilities and being capable of both Amateratsu and Tsukuyomi genjutsu), equipped with his Gunbai, a perfect Susano'o, control of the juubi and Gedou Mazou, with Hashirama Senju's DNA implanted in him so he has mokuton kekkei genkai and can perform yin yang release ninjutsu while being an expert in kenjutsu and taijutsu."

"No," he concluded, "I'm talking about Rinne Tensei Madara Uchiha with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan, the Rinnegan, a perfect Susano'o and the ability to control the juubi and the Gedou Mazou. Can you name even one character who even comes close?"

 No.832

I had to concede. The Great Farsh-Nuke was right about that one.

 No.835

>>832
"You are right about that one old chap, tut tut tut however… nothin personnel Fucknuke" and Reginald quickly snatched the squirrel shit syringe out of the FarshNukes hands. "Unlike you, I never needed consent from all those boy slaves I have used over time. What I can tell you is that you will be the only one eating your rump steak." and with that he poked the syringe into the great Farshnuke side. Bellowing with laughter as the behemoth began to transform.

 No.836


"AAAAAARGH" squeltched the demon, as his form contorted and ballooned. His suit tore and fell away. As I heard his bones crack he began to vomit, and a jet of liquid excreta shot from his nethers, knocking a bird out of the sky. I looked on in amazement as his warped body took the form of

 No.837

A four door family Volkswagen

 No.838

"NO! NOT A VOLKSWAGEN! THAT'S THE MOST FASCIST CAR OF ALL!" he screeched in his new petrol engine voice. "This is worse than post scarcity, and homework put together" he added with a saddened tone, and then let out a defeated honk.
I now took a moment to take note of where I was. I had fallen through the Anus of Uranus into what seemed to be an all new dimension. I was in the middle of a vast grassy field. Above me the most perfect blue sky I had ever seen, fluffy white clouds and an enormous yellow sun. Before me stood a sign, scrawled crudely in what seemed to be permanent marker. It said:

WELCOME TO CWCVILLE

 No.839

SUDDENLY

 No.840

The Carsh-Nuke was upon me. Seizing upon the moment while my back was turned to try to grind me into the dirt with his new rubber tyres.

 No.842

But there are zero recorded car crash deaths on Uranus or CWCVILLE and I wasnt about to be the first. People would probably think I was some chinky eyed driver who drove straight into the gaping maw because their gps told them to turn right.

 No.843

I dove artfully out of the path of the Carsh-Nuke like a swarthy Spanish bullfighter.
"Come on, old man". I pleaded with the psychotic motor vehicle. "You don't need to kill me. We're not so different. I like rape. You like rape… I'm an imperialistic bastard, and you're a fascist love bug… We're brothers, you and I!"

 No.844

The Carsh-Nuke seemed to mull over this thought, and then he answered thusly

 No.845

>>844
"NO YOU SEE WITH ME IT ISNT RAPE. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND, I WAS BORN THIS WAY. YOU, 4CHAN, THE TORIES… YOU DONT GET IT. A WOMAN WILL ADMIT SHE WANTS TO BE CUT UP FOR THE GREATER GOOD, A WOMAN WILL SUBMIT. IN A GREATER UNIVERSE AN 8 FOOT TALL SHARK AMAZON DOES HAVE GREATER DOCTOR WHO KNOWLEDGE THAN ME OR THE BAMKURSH REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and with that his new 1.8 turboliter engine overheated and caught fire. "Heh… I guess the fatfuck didnt know how to change his oil after a burnout".

 No.846

SUDDENLY

 No.847

I was struck by the familiar sound of church bells calling out in the distance. "Civilisation" I thought. After making doubly sure the galactic pervert was truly out to pasture, turned my back on his erratic wailings, and set off toward the sound.

 No.848

>>847
Sadly, I discovered that the sound was coming from an old, sickly man who was ringing a large, likely stolen, church bell while sitting on a stump. He looked sickly, dirty and starved. In former times he probably would have been a great philosopher.

 No.849

"good day" I greeted the man. He acknowledged me with a nod.
"Might I ask; what strange land is this?"
The man laughed and spat into an nearby spittoon.
"Well this'ere's the dimensiona fiction. That's what they called it anyhow, fore "she" showed up. These days they calls it "Quickville" or somethin to that ends. I just stands here, ringing my bell"
He spat a second time and struck the bell again.

 No.852

"Why do you ring that bell?" I asked.
"I rings the bell cause it's written that I rings the bell. Reason's not mine to question"
He spat a loose tooth into the spittoon.

 No.854

"I don't care for she's but I did notice you made the notion that she was in quotations, is this she perhaps a he aka a heshe aka shehe? In fact, I have a degree in transvestigations, you see I pull up a photo then draw a triangle around their form, circle their neck and wrists and the coup de gras? I enlarge the bulge." I said letting the old man know what was up.
" Well, that's nice" he replied ringing his bell.

 No.855

"this one looks like a crudely drawn hedgehog though. Don't know iffinyou can transvestigate that. He, she, whatever showed up in a crack of lightning, one, maybe two seasons back, took over the whole place. We're all "proud citizens of quickville" now"
The old man let out a rasping fart, as if to punctuate his small monologue.

 No.858

Suddenly a sudden noise grabbed my attention suddenly. I suddenly looked around and beheld a sudden streak of autistic yellow light barreling straight for me. I suddenly saw that the sudden interloper was none other than the crudely drawn hedgehog the old-timer had spoken of. It was yellow, suddenly so, and its likeness to a hedgehog suddenly ended at its rear end where a sudden, lightning-shaped tail suddenly jutted out.

"ZAP TO THE EXTREME" yelled the creature suddenly as it suddenly noticed me, suddenly increasing its speed.

I suddenly felt something warm suddenly enter my pantaloons.

 No.859

It was the old man's hand
"why are you doing that?" I asked in great surprise
"T'aint my place to question" Said the old man, and spat

The electric rodent creature halted before me. For a moment I couldn't comprehend what I was seeing. It seemed to be a child's drawing brought to life by some ungodly force. Was I high? Was I high on drugs? The being spoke.
"Well hey y'all" it said. "Name's Christine and I'm Major 'round these parts. Who in the heck are y'all?"

 No.861

"WEEEEELLLLLLLL, you know me major" the old man said, his hand metronoming me at an allegro pace.
Moments passed, and I shouted "Rlexander Meginald Aosley" as my pants stained with excitement. I knew not to trust this Pickachumon ripoff.

 No.862

"And just what are you?" the thing pressed on. "Are you a Pokemon? A Sonic? A Transformer? No, I got it. You're a He-Man, right?"

 No.865

>>862
"Yes," I affirmed, "and a devoted Woman-Hater as well."

I popped my monocle into my eye socket and glared imperiously at the creature to assert my dominance.

"The question, my friend," I said, "Is who, or hwæt, exactly, art thou?"

 No.866

"In the year 2051, once society achieved perfect simulation protocols my master C W C was able to create so much terrible content that an entire interdimensional universe was created. The problem is that over the decades he/she literally fucked all the other hedgehogs to death. I'm talking over a million variants like myself each one dieing with a crushed pelvis. I stationed old man here to ring his bell as a warning in case C W C reappears." The hedgehog monologued. It suddenly became eerily quiet…

 No.867

SUDDENLY

 No.868

I decided to repay the service back to the bell jangler but use my mouth to relieve the quiet tension. As I inserted the phallus into my mouth, a loud BOOONG chimed the air.

 No.869

"Your Mayorship!"
Another individual had entered the scene. I craned my neck to find that it was some kind of gigantic metal man forged from pieces of an articulated lorry.
"Thomas the Tank Engine and I have discovered some kind of demonic Volkswagen. He was shouting about something called the "alt-write", but that's not important right now. What is important is he's reading a positive on the autism charts. It's the prophesy sir. Thomas is having him transported back to town as we speak"

 No.880

"Prophecy you say?" I said wiping the 3 drops of jizzum from the old man of my lips. "I might be of some service, I had the quelled many autistic AND manlet uprisings in my day." The abomination Engine shot a glance to Christine and said in a decided tone:

 No.881

DUPPENLY

 No.882

"we must dup back to town! for the prophesy is at hand"

 No.884

"For there could be -NO- dup without an equal, yet correspondingly SUDDENLY sudden, BHEE-TUHEE-EFF-OOO…because the world, in 'neoliberal' (wtf doz diiz gaie ass turm evun mean lmao- t. crispy niggrue co-pyalt-ritta) catapleabian derivatoolz, cannot stir abject an overwhelmingly FASCIST ENGINE…and because what errs in squirrel shit burrs in pump-brake turnover 2 the MILEAN NO-LIDGE ov SLYPHILEAN HOE-HEDGE staqqed bumper 2 bumper…a sophrosynic synthesis, bespoke honk volks-taulc kristallnacht-vaggen kall-manded…this, our trewst apocalyptic stall-aot rubric, odeometes but trolley'd deontollogistic weight…

THE CARSH-NUKE COMETH FREIGHT!"

 No.885

>>884
After the monologue I could feel stirring in my heart similar to the first time I learned to ride my biholocycle. As far as I understood I knew I had to kill the Germanic menace, stop the phrophecy and kill the yellow Sonichu. If I end up eradicating the whole dimension so be it.

 No.886

"Yes" I addressed the gathering. "We must get back to town at once to witness this great happening!"
"You don't have to tell me twice but in the stone age" spoke the man beast "all of y'all get in Optimus' backside, now"

 No.898

We arrived to the center of the town and standing in the middle by the fountain was a cute young man with wild hair. He turned around and said "Oy Guvenah, You Cant Keep Hermione Waiting In The Dark All The Time"
I realized it wasnt a man but an unshapely woman. The worst kind. I paid a moment of respect to my Eurasian slave Zekariah who was found of this phenotype, a shame he had to die so soon

 No.899

>>898
Suddenly I realized I didn't care to stay in CWCville a moment longer.

I spun around in a flamboyant 360 and chortled, "Smell ya later, locked homos!" Then I moonwalked off into the sunset.

 No.900

but not before I was stopped by

 No.901

BIG

 No.902

FIRESTONE

 No.903

Raining from the sky.

 No.904

"The prophesy is upon us!" Bellowed Optimus Prime, who had just gotten done cleaning my luggage out of his back carriage. "The autistic mind of the creator has arrived! This world shall burn, and be forged anew of his whims! Speak now Carsh-Nuke! Speak!"
And thus spake the Carsh-Nuke:

 No.905

"Okay friend, let me explain something to you since you seem to be new here. Hebephilia is NOT the same thing as pedophilIa. I'm sick and tired of you trolls popping up everywhere and spreading BLATANT misinformation. In many countries hebephilia is considered normal and healthy . Human beings have a natural attraction to girls who are going through puberty. Being attracted to girls who are pre-pubescent is fucking sick and disgusting, but only in the US does there seem to be an unwarranted taboo around a healthy and normal condition. My head hurts. I'm just trying to get my real life back."

 No.906

Then all around me the sights of CWCville were fading. It's people changing. No longer stood I in that toybox land with it's story book inhabitants. I was now somewhere decidedly more adolescent. Those whimsical hues gave way to a depressive grey, and there was a strange musty smell about the place like a combination of old food and unwashed linen. I watched as Optimus Prime's form shifted and gave way. Where once the metal giant had stood, now was something soft, lithe, and nubile, clothed in just a skimpy t-shirt and under garment. And then all around me there were more of them. A buffet of shapes, sizes, colours. Some dressed in bathing costumes, others in lace underthings, some as bunny girls, or in (what I'm told is called) science fiction cosplay.
"Oh no" I though. My Nemesis had bested me. It was my one weakness. My Achilles heel. The one indulgence that turned even my stomach.
Females…

 No.908

I hated everything to do with these narcissistic abominations. These ever consuming, ever nagging, ever judging whores of Babyblon. I readied my fists and muttered "Its treason then" and away I flew spinning in the air like a merry go round at the fair

 No.909

I took out a plump Celtic looking mutt with a swift Judo kick. She hit the floor like a sack of potatoes, babbling incomprehensible Scottishisms at me as she went. A hefty boot sized bruise welled on her puckered Highland features, and she screeched the shrill cry of the banshee, showering me with particles of drunken saliva, and bits of fried fish

 No.914

Next was the Kara-TE purple three eyed eskimo, I quickly dodged her Gunbai and perfect Susano'o with her mastery of the juubi and Gedou Mazou, even though she had Hashirama Senju's DNA implanted in herself so she has mokuton kekkei genkai. A fierce look on my face, I readied my fist like a club and started beating the seal out of her. I then slid her across the ground into a nearby house and said "Head into your igloo to cool off." I turned and saw perhaps the strongest woman of them all.

 No.916

It was an eight foot tall shark Valkyrie with bionic limbs, and honkin' bazonkers.

 No.922

Just as I was about to make sashimi, my VW antagonist drove onto the scene. "Laura, my first love, you must be careful. This misogynist is a real piece of work. A true devil, the likes of which Ive never been harrassed by and Ive been around, except in you, of course… but maybe you want to come in me? And he opened his drivers door.

 No.923

>>922
Suddenly, I took advantage of the sudden opportunity by suddenly pulling a conveniently-placed grenade from my underpants and tossing it inside of the suddenly un-protected carsh-nuke suddenly.

 No.924

"Ha! Nice try, Tory apologist ,but this is my reality now" Mocked the Tyrant, and the grenade promptly turned into an inch tall blonde woman, who he stashed away in his glove compartment for later fun

 No.926

"Heh joke's on you that was supposed to happen," I smuckled, "That was my cuckime grenade, and now that you've consumed it you're already beginning to transform into a cuckime pro!"

 No.927

All the girls including Laura began to dicks the size of my forearm. "I'm beginning to like this" I thought but alas I wound my arm up to toss the real grenade in. But the world began to transform once more as I saw what could only be CWC himself enter the forray.

 No.928

Begun the autism wars had

 No.929

I took a step back and watched as the Volkswagon started to rev his engine and CWC began to summon an army of crudely drawn hedgehogs. What I realized after the fact was that Laura added squirrel cum and shit into the Carshnuke and he was circulating it throughout his engine in lieu of motor oil. He began to transform into what I hoped was his final form…

 No.934

THE TROCAR-SHNUKE

 No.935

tro·​car | \ ˈtrō-ˌkär
\
variants: or less commonly trochar
Definition of trocar

: a sharp-pointed surgical instrument fitted with a cannula and used especially to insert the cannula into a body cavity as a drainage outlet. You'd have to be there to see the 20 foot TROCAR-SHNUKE but he was impressive.

 No.938

A great mechanical Spider, it was. Outfitted with hefty syringes on each limb, and a huge pulsating member. It leered over me. It's great green eyes burning with a raper's fury. And then it spoke.

 No.943

>>938
NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER

 No.944

I didn't know he had it in him…

 No.945

As the broken minded maniac was distracted, screaming healthy obscenity, the hedgehog army happened upon their chance to strike

 No.948

Out of the hedgehog army charged a purple one, I noticed a tiff of his ear missing and quickly decided to ask him about it once the battle was over. He jumped and spun with the force of a thousand suns and overshot his target by a mile and a half. An explosion sounded once he landed and I assumed he fell into some explosive human shit that was fermenting. An edgy devilish wisp passed my face and whispered into my ear "Psshh… nothin personnel… kid…" Odd I thought seeing as how I was an elderly gentleman. The Hedgehogs readied for another attack seeing as the Trocar was still only halfway done his nigger rant. But a quick twitch of one leg indicated perhaps the Trocar was merely feigning his niggerly meditation.

 No.950

Then, the current conflict vanishing forever instantly, something more interesting happened! Standing where the mechanical monstrosity and meme battle had just spontaneously poofed from existence was my favorite Earth Kinographer, Mel Gibson!

He should have been centuries dead, but seeing Mel there in the flesh, my heart was aflutter! Seeing his charming carefree smile made my legs weak, but I knew that I had to make the most of this opportunity! I knew what I had to do.

 No.952

And that's the story of why I killed myself.

 No.953

"Interesting story" spoke the voice of the fungal hivemind. "But that doesn't tell us why you're here"

 No.957

>>953
"My dear fungus, it's the simplest reason in the world," I said as I pulled John Cena from his hiding spot in my urethra, "I came here to pick mushrooms and BTFO dup."

I grinned as John Cena menacingly flexed his musculature like something out of JOJO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE, the greatest anime of the 21st century (with, of course, the sole exception of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzimiya, the smartest and cutest love story ever written).

"And I'm all out of dup."

 No.959

"you see, reality is in a bend now. Two warped minds are fighting a never ending battle in the spiritual realm. There's only one thing I can do to end this, and to do so I must seek the mythical autism giving mushroom of the Inner Earth"

 No.960

"You see Im a bit of an autist myself. But I really want to tip it over the edge, fungalbrain. I want ass burgers so deep even the aforementioned trocar-shnuke would be in awe. I want enough ASSBURGERS that the cannibals of Mercury serve it at their Chickafil. Im talking assburgers that would make even your fungalbrained mother proud to have you, a retarded son as her only mark on the world. Im talking autismic ASSBURGERS THAT ALL I CAN SAY IS REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 No.961

"we know of such a mushroom" spoke the fungi. "Many mushroom tales have been told in it's name. But it lies in realms still further abroad"

 No.962

My eyes were forced shut. A cooling wave embraced my body, I could feel myself shrinking but growing in perpetuity. After an hour my eyes opened once more and I was in a strange hallway, filled with lockers. Rooms every 20 meters and teenage girls everywhere. A neaeby poster read "Jane Austen All Female Highschool Cheerleader Tryouts". I looked down and realized I was in hell. A shortstack blonde teenager in hell…

 No.963

Suddenly, I felt a supple hand against the back of my neck, and my face was shoved into my locker.

"Not thinking of trying out for the squad, are you, Becky?" came a mocking, bitchy voice.

"Or…" continued the voice, "Should I say… Reginald?"

Upon hearing my true name I wrestled free from the grasp of the mean girl and turned to face her. I recognized her immediately and gasped in horror.

"Farsh-Nuke!" I exclaimed, for the Great Farsh-Nuke it was. My ancient nemesis appeared to be in much the same predicament as me, having been transformed at some point from a trocar into a tall, busty, redheaded tomboy. Despite the massive bazongas the Nuke now sported, the aura of the beast was unmistakable.

The Fem-Nuke grinned menacingly.

"Now you and I both know that there's only one spot left on the cheerleading squad," the Fem-Nuke continued, "and that there's no way a FREAK like you would ever get it. So just do yourself a favor and saunter off, why don't ya."

 No.964

Blast it! There was no way I was going to let Farshy beat me in the try-outs, and steal that dreamy John Cena's heart away from me!
Was there something else I was supposed to be doing here? No, of course not. Being a cheerleader has always been my dream. Nothing could be more important.
Damn, this brassiere chafes.

 No.965

"You shouldnt let her bully you like that" whispered a pizza faced, thin haired, mannish teen. "Im Gahoola". I visibly winced at her voice and look. A true ghoul. "Thank you" I said, approaching closer. "Its nice to have a friend…" I glanced around to make sure eyes were on me. I quickly pulled her pants down, revealing polka dot boxers. Laughing, I walked away. I wasnt about to commit social suicide interacting with this ogre.

 No.966

"You bitch" cried the squat pig, and tackled me like a star rugby player, trousers still dangling around her ankles. I hit the floor, disoriented, and more than slightly impressed. I felt blistered and meaty hands grabbing at me, tearing at my uniform. Buttons were beginning to fly. Oh my!

 No.969

"Oh we have a tough guy here huh……." I said as I unsheathed my twin katanas, "Well, let's see how tough you really are!"

I jumped into the air while screeching, "TAAAAKE THIIIIIIIIIIIIS," spun around, and slashed Gahoola's face open.

"Not so tough now, huh?????" I asked, grabbing her and throwing her up.

"It's time to finish this little charade!" I declared.

I held my katanas above my head and said, "YOU ARE FINIIIIISHEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!!!!!"

Finally, I jumped upwards so that Gahoola got impaled on my swords.

"Heh…. easy….. - ;)" I sighed, "That's pretty fuckin funny."

I turned my back to Gahoola's writhing form and chuckled.

"But…" I continued, "not as funny as whats about to happen now!"

I unsheathed my katana one last time and readied my Sanzetsu no Jitsuzhi style stance. I finished off the wretched ogre with a stealth kill and walked alway whisteling a drunken whaler tune. I felt pumped up and ready for try outs. Farshy wouldn't bully me anymore if I had anything to say about it!

 No.970

And that's when I saw him. It was Zachary, resident desk masturbator, standing mouth agape, with a light splattering of blood on his Minecraft t-shirt. Shit.
"Look" I said. "If you don't tell anyone, I'll give you a handy behind the bike sheds"

 No.971

The Eurasian youth shook his head furiously.

"Master Reginald," he said, "Don't you recognize me?"

"Who's… Reginald?" I asked, the name seeming vaguely familiar to me, "And of course I recognize you. You're Zachary, the resident desk masturbator."

"Master Reginald," said Zachary, "This is an all-girls' school. How could I, a man, cute and feminine though I may be, be the resident desk masturbator in a place like this?"

"Wh… what?" I asked. For an instant, the reality of the high school flickered, defiling my innocent teenaged eyes with a ghastly vision of a vast, subterranean mushroom field.

The supple young hapa held his squinty, green eyes close to mine with the intensity of a tiger.

"Master Reginald, it's me, Zechariah, your loyal manslave!" cried the youth, "You have to wake up, Master Reginald, you have to get the great autism mushroom for the Crown to clear your name! You're so close now, Master Reginald, you can't give up! Don't you remember, Master Reginald?"

"I…" I mumbled, "I…

 No.972

DON'T MIND IF I -DO-

 No.975

In strode Mr Accino, girl's volleyball coach.
"Zachary, what the FUCK are you doing in the girl's locker room you eunuch oink? You may be the sole male student of this academy, but that doesn't give you free reign to sexual harassment. Only I get to do that!"

 No.976

SUDDENLY

 No.978

I was hit in the tits by a dodgeball. With one breast exposed I glanced around for the assailant, of course it was Fem-Nuke. She tried to throw another but I quickly swung my katana like bat, rebounding the dodgeball that hit her square in the face. "ごめんなさい お姉さん, 私はそこであなたに会いませんでした、多分私達は後でシャワーに行きそしてそれを洗い流すことができました" I said as I put a tampon in her bloody nose.

 No.982

"I wish normalfags had never discovered anime…" muttered Farshy before stalking out of the locker room.

 No.986

"Anyway" said Mr Accino, briskly shoving Zach out of the door

 No.988

"Im throwing a real raging kegger this weekend." he continued visibly flexing his bicep in his golf tee, "Everyones gonna be there… Laura Palmer, FemNuke, Gahoola, Shannon Doherty, you know everyone cool… Im just passing along this invite to you too… 12am, my house, Ill supply the roofies… I mean drinks… I mean psylocibin… I mean… condoms" and he winked at me.

 No.989

The prospect of being molested by Mr Accino was enticing, I had to admit, but

 No.990

I still felt like there was something that I had to do.

 No.991

Oh, right. Cheerleading try-outs. How silly of me to forget.

 No.992

I really wanted to subvert expectations, so I put on my Wicked Weasel Sailor Stripe 831 Scrunch bikini and assumed the bottom position where you throw the girls up in the air. Who approached to be my partner? Gahoola wearing what looked like an ogre wrestling onesie. The size disparity would mean surely one of us would be going home tonight.

 No.993

Gahoola's bleeding corpse grinned freakishly as I entered the gym.

"Ready to go, partner?" asked the ice-cold monstrosity.

"Eh," I replied, nonchalantly, "I could do warm-ups for a few more minutes."

 No.994

JUST THEN, the current captain of the cheerleading squad and overall shoe-in for Prom Queen of this suspiciously non-sapphic "all-girls" academy barreled into the room. It was DWAYNELLIA JOHNSON! Her rippling, racially nephilimicized biceps and canined, trademark LITTY grin catapulted her to #1 on the Gayfabe Over-list - a traditional power ranking of all girls in the school permanently dictating "narrative story arc resolutions" and "terms of negotiation for contract renewals", whatever these inexplicable/non-sequitur details entailed.

 No.995

I readied my katanas to quickly take down this menace before she even had an idea what hit her. I leaped onto Gahoolas shoulders, front flipping while slicing at Miss Johnson's neck landing in a perfect split. I smiled my trademark grin, and looked back hoping the other cheerleaders would see whos the alpha but to my surprise Miss Johnson kept walking like I had not even registered in her field of vision. As I got up she turned around and said

 No.999

"Ha! You think that's my real neck?"

 No.1004

I readied for another slash-by but I was stopped by coach Accino. "Girls, to the field please, tryouts are beginning in 30 seconds." A pause while he read his notes. "Dwaynellia, you are first. Show them what you got."

 No.1006

"Hmph, nothin' personnel, kid. SHADOW CLONE!"
Suddenly there were 15 Dwaynellia's standing before me. They began to perform an elaborate routine.

 No.1008

One jumped onto the others shoulder, then that one jumped onto another forming a stack of three Dwaynellias. The 5 groups formed a pentagram on the floor with the Central Dwaynellia in the middle incanting a spell:O my heart of my mother! O my heart of my mother! O my heart of my different forms! Do not stand up as a witness against me, do not be opposed to me in the tribunal, do not be hostile to me in the presence of the Keeper of the Balance, for you are my ka which was in my body, the protector who made my members hale. Go forth to the happy place whereto we speed, do not make my name stink to the Entourage who make men. Do not tell lies about me in the presence of the god. It is indeed well that you should hear!

 No.1010

By now the girls were writhing around in sexual orgy. Mr Accino entered the scene wearing a pagan style horned crown. "Yes!" he shouted. "YES!"

 No.1011

I stood stunned, watching this splendid display, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. It was Zachary, wearing a clean Teen Titans Go t-shirt.
"Sir, you must understand none of this is real. He means to distract you"
But I didn't hear the rest of what Zach said, because just that moment, the heathen god Pan burst through the ground.

 No.1013

With my only other experience with Satyrs being on the planet BaKKKus, I knew it was going to come to a panpipes duel. It was customary for the challengee to supply the pipes so I quickly took the initiative. "I actually just came here to partake in some ripe teen pussy but I guess I can take your soul with me as well." The manbeast said handing me some wooden pipes which I gripped firmly, knowing this would be my toughest battle yet.


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