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File: 1637669914321.png (89.79 KB, 1024x666, 512:333, Cowboy_Bebop_Logo.png) ImgOps iqdb



As an adaptation of a beloved anime, Netflix's 'Cowboy Bebop' is a travesty, but even if taken on its own and separated from the series which inspired it, the show still fails on all levels.

None of that is hyperbole, either. 'Cowboy Bebop' is a show so devoid of entertainment value that I can count on two fingers the scenes I genuinely enjoyed. I straight up hated almost every other second of this live-action space cowboy adventure, and I dreaded having to turn the television on for more. Which says a lot considering I was literally paid to watch the show in order to review it. That's the definition of easy money, and I still struggled to earn my keep.

'Repaired' for a modern audience

The sins of this one run deep, but most unforgivable is how it absolutely trashes iconic characters all in the name of social justice politics. Sexy femme fatale Faye Valentine is toned down and depicted as a sassy girl-boss who is nothing but a blackhole of cringe. The 'cringularity', we'll call it. For real though, she's awful. Every joke she tells fails to land, and her lines are painful to listen to. By the time she says "Welcome to the ouch, motherf**kers" in the final episode, I wanted to stab a screwdriver through my ear holes.

It's very obvious the creators wanted to update her for a modern audience, and like with most things which receive such 'updates', it's an absolute butchering. Gone is her sex appeal and femme fatale ways, and she instead comes across as a moody millennial you'd meet on Twitter, and I say that as a moody millennial who spends too much time on Twitter.

I wish I could say she was the worst character on display, but I cannot. That title goes to the show's big bad, Vicious. I don't even know where to begin. His handling is atrocious. The acting is bad, and his direction is a mess. He's cartoonishly comical and borderline whiny. At times a psychotic killer and at others a temperamental schoolboy with Daddy issues who probably listens to 'My Chemical Romance' on CD. In the anime he's scary and quiet, yet here he is a complete joke, just one without a good punchline. Which I think was the point.

I have to tiptoe around this lest I fully spoil a final act twist - not that it should matter because I highly recommend you skip this show - but where Vicious was once threatening, in this series he becomes emasculated and overtaken by a female who will inevitably be the lead villain should the show get renewed for a second season. It's as if the creators hated how a particular character existed merely as a plot point within the anime and decided to rectify it by trashing the big bad and replacing him with her.

And the trashing of characters is what 'Cowboy Bebop' does impeccably well.

In the anime there's a character named Gren who is forced to take feminization drugs while in a military prison. His story is tragic and full of trauma. He was not feminized by choice, yet somehow Netflix decided to depict him as a 'yas, slay queen' empowered non-binary type and thusly cast him as such. The actor is now on the press circuit talking about how they wanted to right the wrongs of the anime. Which sums up how so very much went wrong with the project.

The showrunners didn't set out to adapt an anime they respect, they set out to 'repair' one they found problematic, and with axe and mallet in hand, they got to work disfiguring all that they could.

I'm not even a stickler for adaptations being wholly representative of what came before. I understand that things will inevitably be changed when going from book to film, or when remaking a show which already existed. Different forms of media need to make different types of concessions. I accept that when trying to appeal to a global audience it makes sense to have a wide-ranging and diverse cast. Therefore I don't care that secondary protagonist Jet Black was changed from white skinned to black. In the anime his racial makeup isn't a defining feature of the character so it doesn't really matter what his skin tone is. It's not an influence on his personality. In fact, the actor they cast as Jet is one of the few to give a somewhat accurate representation of the character that came before.

It's just a shame that the script entirely lets him down, because let me tell you, this show is dull. Put more harshly, the story sucks.

Cheap and blurry
Characters move from plot point to plot point or action sequence to action sequence but none of it is interesting. There's just no reason to care about what's happening, especially as the dialogue is repulsively bad, sometimes verging on something you'd see on an NBC sitcom and not a cowboy space adventure. Not helping matters even further is that little of it is pleasant to look at. A sad state of affairs given this is 'Cowboy Bebop' of all things.

From the moment the series begins it is obvious there was no understanding of what made the anime so endearing. The original is rather light on story, but it makes up for it with an abundance of style and mood. Shots linger to set the tone of a room, and when the action does kick up, it does so with pizazz. For lack of a better word, the show is cool. Spike Spiegel holding his breath as he enters the vacuum of space while shooting a handgun to propel him toward safety as heavy metal music blasts in the background is just one example of how the series shows the viewer the awesome capabilities of its downtrodden and cynical protagonist.

None of that takes into consideration the fluidity of its animation. The anime looks good, and it knows it. There's a confidence on display which the viewer can't help but notice, something 'NewBop' entirely lacks. The live-action is sloppy and ugly. Fights aren't well choreographed and many aspects of it look cheap. One fight in particular takes place following the opening credits of episode 8 and it is so low budget in appearance that I actively burst out laughing.

Made nauseatingly worse is that there's a disgusting amount of blur permeating every scene. It's as if Vaseline was smeared on the outer rim of the camera to give it a blurry vignette, but even that doesn't adequately explain it as some scenes are 90% blur.

I kid you not, there's scenes where two people are standing next to each other facing the camera, and their faces are blurry. In others it's huge portions of the set, making for a baffling creative decision that actively hurts the show, and one which makes no sense when compared to the anime which allowed every environment to speak for itself.

There's fan films on YouTube that treat their source material with more respect, talent, and grace than anything seen in this version of 'Cowboy Bebop'. I don't believe for a second anyone leading the production crew has any love for the property, and it shows.

Going into this series my expectations were low. It takes a particular level of bold stupidity to try and remake one of the best animated series ever made. It's unlikely, albeit not impossible, that someone could do it better. Although even expecting a huge misfire, I walk away still shocked at just how terrible it truly is.

I guess I could say it exceeded my expectations, so for that I applaud it. Kudos Netflix.


There's already a thread nigger


File: 1637677275848.jpg (32.6 KB, 453x500, 453:500, 3f90aa30cd645f920305bdbc99….jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

>Every joke she tells fails to land, and her lines are painful to listen to
>Fights aren't well choreographed and many aspects of it look cheap
Weebs haven't figured out that this is how everyone sees cuckime


File: 1637680976628.png (272.84 KB, 455x676, 35:52, randallspitchford-professi….png) ImgOps iqdb

>Welcome to the ouch, motherf**kers


Yeah that Seinfeld vid pretty much sums it up.
The show writers used the downtime to inject comedy instead of the endearing boredom of the characters which revealed slowly, their unresolved questions and problems.


I wish normalfags had never discovered anime…


>I accept that when trying to appeal to a global audience it makes sense to have a wide-ranging and diverse cast. Therefore I don't care that secondary protagonist Jet Black was changed from white skinned to black. In the anime his racial
makeup isn't a defining feature of the character so it doesn't really matter what his skin tone is
Wow just wow, show is trash and so is this sissy reviewer.


Amerimutts. Even some normalfags used to watch cuckime in Europe and South America in their 80's and 90's. Everything started to get shitty after the boom of anime in USA.


that is true


>n-no! anime wasn't bad before it reached America!
Let me show you 1000 examples of how you are wrong!


Go ahead.


File: 1637821702860.jpg (153.16 KB, 1530x849, 510:283, All Journalists Must Hang!.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb


…And that's a good thing!


Follow what music?
What the fuck are they talking about?


It's too the point now that giving a negative review to such trash is actually a disservice to our own intelligence. The shit doesn't even deserve to be analyzed.


Why did it need to be live action if they animated the intro?


They are implying white man jazz is bad


Almost as bad as the review saying the stuff you feel is missing from it is just like how great jazz music is. It's the notes they DON'T play!


>It's the notes they DON'T play!
Never understood this normalfag meme, jazz pauses are to make the fag blowing take a breath because circular breathing is hard when doing calculations and moving around, especially for a nigger.
It's like a grammatical accent in that particular style of music, other instruments mimic it as a nod to old school jazz hence why those who don't do it are deemed unorthodox despite playing "correctly".
There's nothing philosophical about it, it's like a grammar period in the middle of a solo sequence.


Oh is that what that means? I always thought it was just a counter to jazz being criticized because it often sounds like they're just playing random notes or there's like four solos going on on top of eachother.


>It's the notes they DON'T play
taste thr pain


>four solos going on on top of eachother.
That's pretty rare unless normalfags think a fast timing ensemble or a complex bassline are solos.
>they're just playing random notes
It's all on scales, they are not random but it takes skill and mental prowess to "compose"/improvise on the fly and make it sound good.
Nigger cattle doesn't understand jazz and frankly real niggers neither, only the absurd negroe outliers were any good at it and there's plenty of jokes about them being pretty condescending to other africans (Davis, Mingus).

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