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 No.220[Last 50 Posts]

The door was…

 No.221

…embedded into the cold war-era concrete like an inflamed boil. The glowering portal was all pitted steel curves and rust-speckled plates, as cold and Soviet as the grim-faced men who'd commissioned it. I readied my…

 No.222

…Eurasian slave and told him to get ready to breech the cold world which might just lay on the other side. Whether it be riches or death behind the door I would let Zekariah be the first to find out…

 No.223

Patting him one last time on the head, and kissing his pert buttocks, I gave a hefty shove. Six seconds, then a hearty crack and a shrill yelp. He must have fallen four/five storeys down that dank shaft. Now I knew. "How are you doing down there, old boy?" I called out…

 No.224

But I heard only silence in reply. I stood there staring down the shaft for what felt like hours until I suddenly heard a loud cacophony of what sounded like a thousand different voices, all screeching the same phrase…

 No.225

"Dup" They chanted. "Dup". Over and over again. What could it mean? The sound was maddening. Well, this is what they signed you up for, old man. No turning back now. I secured my climbing ropes, and descended into the abyss…

 No.226

My cock was so hard it felt like my boner had a boner and it was leaking precum like a tranny stimulated prostate. I felt pretty.

 No.227

In, out, retrieve the materials. That was the deal. Then a complete pardon from the Crown for my boy molesting misadventures in the Orient. A simple enough task, I had thought, though now…

 No.228

I faltered. Even amidst my state of perpetual arousal, excited by that young Eurasian tiger's leather clad buttocks, I, sir Reginald Alexander Mosley, first Englishman on Jupiter, champion of the oxygen wars, and notorious sexual predator, felt a fear come over me. Such a fear I had not felt since…

 No.229

the time I was knotted by a labradoodle named Zach. Still fear is the mind killer after all and this hole wasn't going to enter itself.

 No.230

Which is what I had said to those boys in Burma. Haha! Anyhow, by this point I had abseiled about half way down the shaft and…

 No.231

I had worked up quite a sweat. So I reached into my Nike backpack and retrieved a still cool, thanks to my Thermos backpack cooler pad, bottle of evian®. I took 3 sips and placed the bottle into the far right portion of my backpack next to my salami and rye sandwich, a map of Burma, a Bad Dragon sex toy, a copy of Milk and Honey, a SanDisk® usb stick with 32gb of memory, a popper, a signed picture of Queen Elizabeth II and my iPhone 9, which I usually kept on my person but found the elegant design bulged distractingly in my Calvin Klein Bermuda shorts…

 No.232

I slid the rest of the way down the rope until my feet hit cold bottom. Zekariah's cold bottom, in fact. He lay, stiff and blue. Curious wounds resembling bite marks all about his supple body. Turning him over, I found his face contorted in a vision of terror, and four letters carved into the delicate flesh of his chest and belly. "BTFO". What could they mean? I shed a single tear for the lost beauty, checked the revolver at my hip, and turned to investigate the chamber…

 No.233

Inside was a nigger, niggerly niggering around as niggers do. He niggered over to me with his nigger form and nigger moves opening his fat nigger lips revealing a drooping nigger accent and salivating nigger tongue. "Nigger" I thought, after which I said, "NIGGER!" at this filthy stinking nigger standing before me. The nigger looked shocked. Nigger tears welled up in his bugged out nigger eyes revealing the knowing of his inescapable nigger identity. I considered putting down this nigger dog and raised my gun to his nappy nigger head and then…

 No.243

the foul apparition simply vanished. I shrugged, then proceeded to remove all of my clothing, and bounded gleefully into the welcoming darkness. Free as a bird. Horny as a dog. Something called to me.

Chapter 2
In the Orifice of Madness

 No.244

>>231
Michael, is that you?

 No.245

I'm not sure why I said that. Something was metaphorically not literally calling me. Anyway Michaela had died years ago due to constipation complications zhe developed on the carnivore diet.

 No.246

Ate a bad batch of space monkey soup while stationed in the jungles of Mars, during the Neo-Zulu uprising, terrible business. The parasites grew to the size of guinea pigs and ate the little fuck nugget from the inside out. All they found was thon's boots and skid-marked boxer briefs.

 No.247

As I walked into the Orifice of Madness I encountered a kike, kikely kikeing around as kikes do. He kiked over to me with his jew form and heeb moves flaring the kikel shaped nostrils on his hooked heeb nose. "Kike" I thought, after which I said, "KIKE!" at this filthy rat jew standing before me. The kike looked shocked. Crocodile tears welled up in his beady kike eyes revealing the scheming cowardice of the jewish identity. I considered shoving the kike into an oven and raised my Mauser C96 pistol at his lizard brain and then…

 No.248

in a flash I was in Barbados!

 No.249

And just as suddenly I was back in the Orifice. That was quite the trip I thought to myself. Reminds me of the time me and the Prophet Muhammad went to…

 No.250

Burger King

 No.251

It had all started peacefully enough. We had entered the Burger King, arm in arm, chatting gaily, appreciating the decor and fine carpeted floors. The greater had lead us to our table, where we had placed our order and sat a while discussing the prosperity of the eternal British mega empire. The first course was served. French cut potato chips, lightly salted with a garnish of tomato pate. Delightful. The prophet and I readily devoured the entree, while sipping on the finest Pepsi cola, and trading amusing anecdotes. However when the second course of Hamburg steak ensemble with pork accessories arrived, something had changed in the prophet's expression…

 No.252

Muhammed flipped out upon seeing the pork flaps slung haram across the bread. I however calmed him down by assuring him that it was in fact a nine year old girl's labia resting on the burger and not pork. Muhammed calmed down upon hearing this, certain a sin had been avoided. I quietly began to question my companionship with this brown towel-head and excused myself to go to the bathroom…

 No.253

On my way to the cubicle I passed a curious man. Skin dark as coal, dressed in an embroidered robe featuring designs of implacable cultural origin. He shot me a wink and his features contorted into a wry smile, irradiating predatory intent. I tell you, little phases a man such as myself, but this individual, there was something about him that chilled me to the core. As he past me by, I caught a waft of something like sage and perhaps burnt cinnamon, and in just a moment he was gone from my sight. I caught my breath and gathered myself together, then strode into the toilet cubicle to relieve myself, and there I saw it. Floating in the bowl. Pitch black and menacing, as if daring me to try to flush. It's darkness seemed to reach out to something inside of me, not unlike the ancient tunnels my naked and wobbling form now flew through with ecstatic glee

 No.257

Inside the toilet was a faggot, fagily fagging around as faggots do. He fagged over to me with is queer form and homo movies flapping his sodomite wrists effeminately. "Faggot" I thought, after which I said, "FAGGOT!" at this filth fudge packing faggot standing before me. The faggot looked shocked. Faggot tears welled up in his gay eyes revealing the sissy nature of the faggot identity. I considered lighting the faggot on fire like Sodom & Gomorrah and raised my Zippo™ lighter at his faggot hair…

 No.258

I may have forgotten to take my schizophrenia medication that morning.

 No.259

>>258
After checking my pillbox guess what walked into the room? A niggerfaggotkike apeishly prancing around and rubbing his hands as abominations do. He bix n00ded over to me with his GRIDS form and subversive moves counting his shekels greedily. "Niggerfaggotkike" I thought, after which I said, "NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE!" at this gay black and jewish chimera standing before me. The niggerfaggotkike looked shocked. AIDS tainted tears welled up in his gorilla face wich peaked out between curly sidelocks revealing his beastly twisting talmudic identity. I considered nuking the terror right there and hovered my finger over the launch button…

 No.261

I stopped reading at that point. I guess it was funnier in my head and seeing it written down like that made me realize it was just gay and not based at all. I added an ellipsis to the end of my sentence and pressed reply…

 No.262

So anyway, I was in this cave, right

 No.263

Chapter 3
Deeper into the Orifice

My mind had gone mad it seemed. Perhaps this trip had been a mistake. How long had I been pursuing the folly? Little did I know that I would soon have more answers than questions answered, basically I didn't yet know that I would have an abundance of answers but when I did know then I would have them and this would be a question as to how I had so many but that too would be answered.

 No.264

>>263
Chapter 4
NIGGERS
NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER 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NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER

 No.265

It went. On and on that obscenity in my head, pulling me down toward the base and the bestial. Threatening to make me a frothing, gibbering imbecile, trapped in these tunnels for all eternity, stripped of all sanity and civility, screaming and fighting with shadows

 No.266

>>265
Chapter 5
KIKES
KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE 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KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE 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KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE

 No.267

The phantoms that assaulted me from the shadows were tediously lacking in wit or creativity. I pulled out my Nokia 3210 and started up a game of Snake

 No.268

Chapter 6
FAGGOTS
FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT

 No.269

With the mouth breather filtered I went back to exploring this cavern and wondering where my Eurasian slave could've gotten to… Then I heard a slow slurping sound that seemed to emanate from the very bowels of hell. It grew in intensity until there was a loud pop that seemed to vibrate the very air around me. He had to be close.

 No.270

>>269
It was a…
NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE
NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE 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NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE

 No.273

And sure enough he came to a chorus of Dup chants. "Why hello old chum" he said between gasps of breath. "Why didn't you answer me before?" "Oh I was occupied you see" "No I'm afraid I don't" "Don't be like that" "Like what" "Like that" We continued in this fashion for a few minutes until I struck him in his fat fleshy face and got back to my mission.

 No.275

CHAPTER 7
THE ETERNAL JANOID

JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY JANNY

 No.276

Chapter 4
Enter the Dupgeon

Down the passage to my left I saw an orange glowing light. A shudder passed through me at that moment but I sensed my destiny lay on this path. Cautiously I picked my way through the darkness and when I had come within some 20m of the light I could make out that the illumination was actually a diffuse reflection of a light source in some adjacent chamber. I cast my mind back to the chants I had heard earlier and

 No.277

readied myself for a meeting of whatever may lie beyond. Wishing I'd had my pistol with me now, which I had cast aside with all of my clothing and equipment amid that flourish of madness. Well, a man such as myself didn't conquer half of the solar system, and the orphanages of Bangkok, by not being able to handle his fists. Though I was suddenly quite self conscious of my shrivelled Lancashire sausage that bobbed to and fro, exposed to the elements. I pushed ahead into the illuminated chamber…

 No.280

>>277
The lights dimmed as I entered. The darkness grew when I stepped forward and retreated when I stepped back. I couldn't find what mechanism controlled it but it didn't feel natural. The darkness in the chamber felt meaty in a way the darkness outside didn't. One last false hope before you realized the Oasis was a mirage all along. Taking a lighter from my pocket I held it in front of my face, finally glad I kept smoking cigs instead of a vape.

 No.282

BRAAAP
I farted. Then from the darkness a response,
BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP

 No.285

Also, when I say pocket I mean the one I had surgically implanted behind my testicles so I could tickle my prostate

 No.290

but my prostate was not tickled now. In fact it was shriveled and trembling in terror at the stench which assaulted my nostrils. But before I could consciously react to the smell the lighter's flame exploded into the chamber revealing the most monstrous abomination I have ever beheld. The corpulent creature before me must've weighed a ton. Its skin was as black as night and each of its terrible breaths caused its body to quiver like a giant gelatin worm revealing countless fungal colonies within its fleshy folds.

 No.291

Perhaps hundreds of the hooded figures from my vision of the Burger King toilets were knelt down around the thing as if in prayer. As the monstrosity exhaled, the crowd inhaled in unison. In religious ecstasy they chanted. "DUP! DUP!"

 No.301

>>291
I shouted a reply I once heard my Eurasian slave mutter in his twisted dreams. "B-B-BTFO!!!!!!!!" but the chanting didn't stop "DUP,DUP,DUP…" again I mustered all of my courage and even louder yelled "BTFO!" I never understood what the acronym meant perhaps Bravely Tries Fornicating Orifices? Anyways the chamber quieted and a 300 pound Ogre stared at me with admonition…

 No.302

It was the Tyrant himself, Gahoolebachev of the Soviet Remnant. Dressed in the same robes as the rest of the crowd. His eyes glassy and seemingly unaware

 No.303

>>302
…This is my moment and I did not even realize it. The bipolar shitskin I met in that Japanese gangway had been very adamant to promote this ogre. "Catch bachev fucking ogre they follow me I am depressed but my queen I leave!" I chuckled to my self before whispering one last BTFO and pondered what I should do next…

 No.304

The items it was my task to retrieve should be in possession of the breakaway soviets, though looking at the ogre's form, clad in little but a poorly fitting robe, he didn't seem to be in possession of much, least of which his sanity. What had the Ruskies happened upon down here? Well, no time to worry about that now. The great beast lumbered toward me, frothing at the mouth, and babbling incomprehensible nothings. I tucked my penis between my legs, and readied myself for fisticuffs.

 No.306

ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING ZING

 No.307

the ogre stung me with his wicked zingers. I retorted with a wollop to the bollock

 No.308

As the Ogre staggered and fell to the ground he suddenly disappeared. It was then a puff of smoke arose and all that remained was a pickle. Turning the Pickle over my eyes wept from the joy and majesty of the situation. A beautiful thing. The purest form of humor. He had turned himself…into a pickle. He was Pickle-Ogre.

 No.309

A nigger took the pickle ogre and shoved it up his own nigger ass. A kike then ate the pickle ogre from the nigger's ass after which a faggot then shoved his dick down the niggers throat as he tongued the kike's anus waiting for the pickle ogre to enter his own mouth. The disgusting display of nigger on kike on faggot depravity formed a monstrous homunculus which threatened the world as it rolled over everything like a game of Katamari Damacy for the Playstation 2.

 No.311

Those mushroom spores were rather potent

 No.312

HELP I'M BEING RAPED

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE RAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE

 No.314

RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE

 No.318

>>314

The distant roar of thunder punctuated the rip of rain against the window. Rape, rape, rape. My fingers pressed against the curtains, a polyester blend of some tacky blue. Herringbone weave? Rape, rape, rape. Turning my head, spotting the hem on the bottom of the fabric that I sewn with my mother that quiet Wednesday morning after dad left. Rape, rape, rape. There's no stifling my desire for escape. There's no escaping the desire to stifle it. There's no desire to stifle. There's no desire. Rape, rape, rape.

 No.320

>>318
I raped my way to the supermarket (rape zone) where I raped the cashier after raping the watermelons in the fruit (rape) section. I then raped some lottery tickets and won a million rapes which I immediately squandered by raping a million pedestrians. It's a truism that rape winners lose all their rapes within the first year of rape. Well, I found myself in the poor house (rape house) where I regained my wealth (rape capabilities) by pushing drugs (rape fuel) on rape victims who I raped. The world (rape planet) was mine (me: a rapist). Since I raped the world the only thing left to rape was space (rape sky).

 No.321

>>318
…A window? I thought to myself, that is odd because I am in a cave underground. But perhaps I was so far gone I may have actually entered another plane where all my son's are about to be atoned. Yes this made sense! all the faggot, nigger, like and rape was coming down on me like an ant caught in a category 5 gas hurricane on Jupiter's outer sphere, if this is it, please tell me now…

 No.323

All at once I awoke in an unfamiliar location. A pain in my head, and a faint taste of mushroom about my mouth. I lay on a stark bed. Across from me was a stool, over which was draped a simple tunic of a rough brown material. In the corner sat a foul smelling bucket. My eyes wandered to the barred door. Outside stood a familiar cloaked figure on guard. Beyond, I could see what appeared to be sunlight.

Chapter 5
Trapped in a cell in the Inner Earth

 No.324

>>323
Chapter 1
/dup/ BTFO

 No.475

File: 1598859045307.png (163.66 KB, 306x491, 306:491, hoseisoy.png) ImgOps iqdb

HEAD JANNY ALERT HEAD JANNY ALERT HEAD JANNY ALERT -DO NOT INCORPORATE EAN2 THE DOCUMENT THIS POAST WILL B JANNIED AFTUR DATE MENTIONED BELOW-

EVERIE POAST MAYDE EAN DIS THREAD BEFORE DATE OF DECEMBER 25TH, 2020 IZ ELIGIBLE 4 THE "CURRENT NISU/LIT/ NOVEL COMPENDIUM COMPILATION" SNAPSHAWT

DIS IZ AWL ARIGATO GOZAIMASU MANZAILERONIN OV DOUNIN-DIRIGEYSEROTONINS SAC-BLEU

 No.526

File: 1599577688925.jpg (34.83 KB, 400x400, 1:1, 5GV24uyr_400x400.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

>>323
cors bilmey govn'r oi shore do loike seein' mohommad bone the missis I do

 No.527

said the figure on guard. I wondered what he meant by this, but I don't make a habit of talking to commoners.

 No.532

"Ay' white boy!" a deep, aggressive voice behind me said. I turned around and saw 6'8', 350lb negro standing there. I began shaking with fear as he began too…

 No.533

play the xylophone

 No.535

File: 1599707577584.png (18.54 KB, 800x800, 1:1, teev-chan.png) ImgOps iqdb

>>533
and suck my cock

 No.536

erel

 No.537

"Can't get no good meat off-a these thangs" uttered the hulking negroid, and we were immediate friends. His name was DeShay L DeyTrey. He was a shoe-spitter and car rustler from Missouri Tennessee. It seemed he had stumbled into the inner Earth while digging for gold with stolen industrial equipment. He wasn't a smart man, he wasn't a good man, he wasn't an especially attractive or charming man, but beside myself I liked him. He reminded me of a pet bear I once owned.

 No.540

>>537
WHAT'S MY NAME?

 No.607

>>540


"Me?" I bellowed- the room grew dead silent. I felt a wash of eyes move over me, as if they were pulling at my very form. Schizophrenic disjunction in the form of blue wall wasn't the word I was looking for but ever apparent in the mind as I looked over the pictures of wrinkly sad man variants whose eyes seemed ever addressed on me. The stupid green frogs, whose expressions seemed ever unwarranted in reference to their very targets of ire. I said, clearing my throat, I, the black man, 6'8, 350lbs, negro in full, "I am not DeShay L. DeTray, I lied. I have come to see that I am living nothing more than a self-referential hell in which no escape can be found in this broken mirror that somehow stands suspended in reflection to itself, "I am cockmongler, and I need dick and I need it in my ass, stat. 1200 CCs of cum straight in my ass. Immediately."

 No.608

And this reminded me of another tale…

 No.618

Sometime in the late 2090's. I was watching television in my sub-urban New England home. There was a knock upon the door. I promptly answered, as a proud family guy such as myself was apt to do in those days. I unlatched the door, and there he stood, in all his glory. "Holy crap!" I exclaimed to my red headed home-maker wife of the time "It's…

 No.619

>>618
JOHN FUCKING CENA

 No.620

"what the deuce? It's John Cena!" babbled my autistic spawn, as he sauntered his effeminate form into the parlor. I promptly beat him about both sets of cheeks, then tossed him to the dog. Insolent little shit.

 No.625

My wife started sobbing, "our son is dead!" The dog was chewing on his corpse.
I laughed, "Who cares? Nobody AUTISTIC deserves to live." Then I sauntered out of the house, donning as always my vintage Panama hat and slick leather jacket.

 No.627

John Cena and I attended the Royal Variety Performance of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. An absolute audio visual masterclass, underappreciated by the troglodytes of it's time. We laughed, we cried, we hooted with joy as the hero Jar Jar Binks saved the day from the dastardly droid army. We had a gay old time, but as the credits rolled, and the audience stood to give their applause, I spied something in the corner of my eye

 No.628

>>627
Sauntering into the theater was a sauntering gelatinous rat-like creature, which was rapidly sauntering toward John Cena and I. I was about to saunter away from it when John Cena held up his hand, looked me in the eye, and said

 No.629

"Saunter off, Reginald. I shall handle this". John Cena sauntered over to the rat, pulled out his patented John Cena camp stove, as the rat sauntered toward him, sauntering menacingly. John Cena caught the sauntering rat by the throat, and proceeded to saute the rat with sage and onions. "Anyone for saute'd sauntering rat" said John Saunter, as he sauntered out into the theatre lobby. The crowd stopped their sauntering, and sauntered toward John Saunter, who fed them all helpings upon helpings of saute'd saunter. It was like the feeding of the five thousand. I sauntered off to the bogs to have a shit, and that was when

 No.632

>>629
I woke up.

 No.635

Where was I now? Still in that cell? My grip on reality was getting spotty. I suspected those spores were mating with my brain. I wore a brown tunic that felt like a potato sack. My dark skinned companion was relieving himself into the bucket. He eyed me and said

 No.636

>>635
"I'm JOHN FUCKING CENA," as he ripped off his fake mustache to reveal his true identity.

 No.637

"John Cena? Here? but how?" I exclaimed. John Cena just shot me a wink, rallied off one final volley of stools into the bucket, and then, hefting the weight of the thing in his perfect muscled arms, he tossed the entire contents into the face of the watching guard. The guard doubled over, writhing in pain and surprise, as John Cena pulled up his pants, and tore the cell door off it's hinges. We took flight

 No.638

>>637
But apparently none of the guards cared enough to give chase. It wasn't long before we found out why. As we penetrated deeper and deeper into the putrid swampland surrounding the prison, we caught more and more glimpses of a mysterious, half-Asian figure…

 No.639

>>638
I stared at him and he stared back at me. It was none other than myself. And the swamp in which I was mired was none other than The Swamp of Self-Reflection. The guards knew that a hapa such as I was could never leave such a place alive. As I realized this the croaks of frogs and the chirping of cicadas that had previously permeated this dream-fog took on a sinister change of timbre; the echoes that reverberated among those damp black trees were now none other than the chink moans of my chink mother as she was getting violently bred by my white father all those years ago. I heard her call out; "ooooh oooh fucka me sir oooooh fucka me hard sir oooooo dave pleeza fucka me ooooh".
I couldn't move. Now I saw that I was up to my waist in the warm sucking pit of the swampland. The spores had me in their clutches. If I couldn't quickly extricate myself from this situation they would tear apart my ventricles, coat my skin in a rubbery layer of pus, and render me an oversized mushroom.

 No.644

And as I sank rapidly into that mire, I did the only thing I could think to do. I closed my eyes and began to pray to a God I wasn't sure I believed in. And to my utmost surprise, I heard a voice respond. It came faintly at first, as if from very far away, and then more audibly. It said

 No.645

>>644
"Kill yourself Zach."

 No.650

But I'm not Zack. I'm just Harry.

 No.651

>>650
"Well just 'Arry," retorted the voice, "Yer a hapa."

 No.652

"I'm a h'what?"

 No.665

"A hapa, Harold. Mixed race, subhuman, a waste of flesh and bone. You, Harry, are a hapa."

 No.668

>>665
I was deeply confused and beginning to panic. Me? A hapa? Impossible. I'd shat on Emma Watson on the internet more times than I could count. No, I simply could not be a hapa.

"But," I squeaked out, "I thought my name was Reginald."

 No.669

"I'll be honest. I'm struggling to keep track of this narrative" replied the voice of the fungal hive-mind.

 No.810

>>669
I passed the next few months in utter silence. Had I thought about myself and my adventures? I cant say it was more like a complete basketball-american-out. I do remember reaching the bottom of the pit. I met a cool chap or two. Did my vulgarities and collected my reward at the interspacial guildhall. With a full pardon of any crime, and 10 zarklone dollardoos in my pocket I set off for the icefields of Uranus…

 No.812

Aaah. The Icefields of Uranus, where the finest of exquisite slave-boys are birthed from tubes. Just the right amount of Aryan vigor. Just the right admixture of of bronzed Mediterranean. Just the slightest twinge of Oriental spice. Muscles wiry and firm. Features chiseled, yet soft to the touch. Born with a waiter's tray in one hand, and an opium pipe in the other. Pre-configured to serve, and to please in all the right ways.
"Yes, that's what you'd like, isn't it?"

 No.813

>>812
said the voice of Your Anus.

I gazed down into the great, icy hole, startled by the great Anus' ability to read the darkest desires of my innermost mind. Nevertheless, the shock passed quickly. I set my chin firmly, looked Your Anus straight in the eye, and said,

 No.814

"Wait a moment. There was something I was supposed to do"

 No.816

>>814
"But Ive completely forgotten so if you have a clue say it now or Ill ow your fucking brains out"

 No.819

I aimed my revolver, and blasted six steamy hot rounds into the chasm. Why is it always holes?

 No.822

BC BLUMPF WUZ MEANT 2 B BTFO BUT WUZNT BTFO WTF BLUMPFGJGH!!!! WHURR TF IZ BLUMPF'S BTFO!?!?! I KNEAD BTFO I WEEN BEETFOE EYE SKRIIIIIM BTFO TOOUZ SKEWPZ!!!!! SKOLOP 2Z-SKEWPS BTFO!!!! BTFO A NIGGER, DUP WUZ DUH BTFO-NOG EGG-NOGGYNO AHOYOYO!!!! GIMME BTFO OAR GYMME DEAF-TFO!!! BARUMPGHF BLUMPFG DUPPITY DUP

B
T
F
O

 No.823

I turned around to confront the source of this sudden outburst, and there he was, in the flesh. Piercing and predatory eyes greeted me from behind green tinted reading spectacles. taught lips curled to a menacing grin revealed a set of shark like teeth, sharpened to points. Excited spittle frothed through heavy breaths. He was portly. Heavy set. He wore a pinstripe brown suit, offset by an embroidered green shirt, and silken tie of darkest burgundy. He supported his heaving form with an ebony walking cane, and on his head sat the most gentlemanly of fedoras.
Why it was none other than the Great Farsh-Nuke.
"Daddy Trump is gone now, Reginald, and I've come for you, you Imperalist bastard! Neo-Liberalism has failed, and now I'm going to fill you with squirrel shit, and make you my pet!"
He popped the top off his cane, revealing a sharpened needle, dripping with a foul liquid that permeated the air with a fetid stench.
And then he lunged at me.

 No.825

SUDDENLY

 No.826

The cliff side gave way. No doubt due to the cosmic molester's great weight. And we tumbled arm in arm into the anus of Uranas. The Farsh-Nuke screaming obscenities, and lecturing me on the necessity of UBI as we went.

 No.831

>>826
"Is there a character that could even possibly EVEN TOUCH Madara Uchiha? Let alone defeat him," asked the monster.

"And I'm not talking about Edo Tensei Uchiha Madara," he went on, "I'm not talking about Gedou Rinne Tensei Uchiha Madara either. Hell, I'm not even talking about Juubi Jinchuuriki Gedou Rinne Tensei Uchiha Madara with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan and Rinnegan doujutsus (with the rikodou abilities and being capable of both Amateratsu and Tsukuyomi genjutsu), equipped with his Gunbai, a perfect Susano'o, control of the juubi and Gedou Mazou, with Hashirama Senju's DNA implanted in him so he has mokuton kekkei genkai and can perform yin yang release ninjutsu while being an expert in kenjutsu and taijutsu."

"No," he concluded, "I'm talking about Rinne Tensei Madara Uchiha with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan, the Rinnegan, a perfect Susano'o and the ability to control the juubi and the Gedou Mazou. Can you name even one character who even comes close?"

 No.832

I had to concede. The Great Farsh-Nuke was right about that one.

 No.835

>>832
"You are right about that one old chap, tut tut tut however… nothin personnel Fucknuke" and Reginald quickly snatched the squirrel shit syringe out of the FarshNukes hands. "Unlike you, I never needed consent from all those boy slaves I have used over time. What I can tell you is that you will be the only one eating your rump steak." and with that he poked the syringe into the great Farshnuke side. Bellowing with laughter as the behemoth began to transform.

 No.836


"AAAAAARGH" squeltched the demon, as his form contorted and ballooned. His suit tore and fell away. As I heard his bones crack he began to vomit, and a jet of liquid excreta shot from his nethers, knocking a bird out of the sky. I looked on in amazement as his warped body took the form of

 No.837

A four door family Volkswagen

 No.838

"NO! NOT A VOLKSWAGEN! THAT'S THE MOST FASCIST CAR OF ALL!" he screeched in his new petrol engine voice. "This is worse than post scarcity, and homework put together" he added with a saddened tone, and then let out a defeated honk.
I now took a moment to take note of where I was. I had fallen through the Anus of Uranus into what seemed to be an all new dimension. I was in the middle of a vast grassy field. Above me the most perfect blue sky I had ever seen, fluffy white clouds and an enormous yellow sun. Before me stood a sign, scrawled crudely in what seemed to be permanent marker. It said:

WELCOME TO CWCVILLE

 No.839

SUDDENLY

 No.840

The Carsh-Nuke was upon me. Seizing upon the moment while my back was turned to try to grind me into the dirt with his new rubber tyres.

 No.842

But there are zero recorded car crash deaths on Uranus or CWCVILLE and I wasnt about to be the first. People would probably think I was some chinky eyed driver who drove straight into the gaping maw because their gps told them to turn right.

 No.843

I dove artfully out of the path of the Carsh-Nuke like a swarthy Spanish bullfighter.
"Come on, old man". I pleaded with the psychotic motor vehicle. "You don't need to kill me. We're not so different. I like rape. You like rape… I'm an imperialistic bastard, and you're a fascist love bug… We're brothers, you and I!"

 No.844

The Carsh-Nuke seemed to mull over this thought, and then he answered thusly

 No.845

>>844
"NO YOU SEE WITH ME IT ISNT RAPE. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND, I WAS BORN THIS WAY. YOU, 4CHAN, THE TORIES… YOU DONT GET IT. A WOMAN WILL ADMIT SHE WANTS TO BE CUT UP FOR THE GREATER GOOD, A WOMAN WILL SUBMIT. IN A GREATER UNIVERSE AN 8 FOOT TALL SHARK AMAZON DOES HAVE GREATER DOCTOR WHO KNOWLEDGE THAN ME OR THE BAMKURSH REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and with that his new 1.8 turboliter engine overheated and caught fire. "Heh… I guess the fatfuck didnt know how to change his oil after a burnout".

 No.846

SUDDENLY

 No.847

I was struck by the familiar sound of church bells calling out in the distance. "Civilisation" I thought. After making doubly sure the galactic pervert was truly out to pasture, turned my back on his erratic wailings, and set off toward the sound.

 No.848

>>847
Sadly, I discovered that the sound was coming from an old, sickly man who was ringing a large, likely stolen, church bell while sitting on a stump. He looked sickly, dirty and starved. In former times he probably would have been a great philosopher.

 No.849

"good day" I greeted the man. He acknowledged me with a nod.
"Might I ask; what strange land is this?"
The man laughed and spat into an nearby spittoon.
"Well this'ere's the dimensiona fiction. That's what they called it anyhow, fore "she" showed up. These days they calls it "Quickville" or somethin to that ends. I just stands here, ringing my bell"
He spat a second time and struck the bell again.

 No.852

"Why do you ring that bell?" I asked.
"I rings the bell cause it's written that I rings the bell. Reason's not mine to question"
He spat a loose tooth into the spittoon.

 No.854

"I don't care for she's but I did notice you made the notion that she was in quotations, is this she perhaps a he aka a heshe aka shehe? In fact, I have a degree in transvestigations, you see I pull up a photo then draw a triangle around their form, circle their neck and wrists and the coup de gras? I enlarge the bulge." I said letting the old man know what was up.
" Well, that's nice" he replied ringing his bell.

 No.855

"this one looks like a crudely drawn hedgehog though. Don't know iffinyou can transvestigate that. He, she, whatever showed up in a crack of lightning, one, maybe two seasons back, took over the whole place. We're all "proud citizens of quickville" now"
The old man let out a rasping fart, as if to punctuate his small monologue.

 No.858

Suddenly a sudden noise grabbed my attention suddenly. I suddenly looked around and beheld a sudden streak of autistic yellow light barreling straight for me. I suddenly saw that the sudden interloper was none other than the crudely drawn hedgehog the old-timer had spoken of. It was yellow, suddenly so, and its likeness to a hedgehog suddenly ended at its rear end where a sudden, lightning-shaped tail suddenly jutted out.

"ZAP TO THE EXTREME" yelled the creature suddenly as it suddenly noticed me, suddenly increasing its speed.

I suddenly felt something warm suddenly enter my pantaloons.

 No.859

It was the old man's hand
"why are you doing that?" I asked in great surprise
"T'aint my place to question" Said the old man, and spat

The electric rodent creature halted before me. For a moment I couldn't comprehend what I was seeing. It seemed to be a child's drawing brought to life by some ungodly force. Was I high? Was I high on drugs? The being spoke.
"Well hey y'all" it said. "Name's Christine and I'm Major 'round these parts. Who in the heck are y'all?"

 No.861

"WEEEEELLLLLLLL, you know me major" the old man said, his hand metronoming me at an allegro pace.
Moments passed, and I shouted "Rlexander Meginald Aosley" as my pants stained with excitement. I knew not to trust this Pickachumon ripoff.

 No.862

"And just what are you?" the thing pressed on. "Are you a Pokemon? A Sonic? A Transformer? No, I got it. You're a He-Man, right?"

 No.865

>>862
"Yes," I affirmed, "and a devoted Woman-Hater as well."

I popped my monocle into my eye socket and glared imperiously at the creature to assert my dominance.

"The question, my friend," I said, "Is who, or hwæt, exactly, art thou?"

 No.866

"In the year 2051, once society achieved perfect simulation protocols my master C W C was able to create so much terrible content that an entire interdimensional universe was created. The problem is that over the decades he/she literally fucked all the other hedgehogs to death. I'm talking over a million variants like myself each one dieing with a crushed pelvis. I stationed old man here to ring his bell as a warning in case C W C reappears." The hedgehog monologued. It suddenly became eerily quiet…

 No.867

SUDDENLY

 No.868

I decided to repay the service back to the bell jangler but use my mouth to relieve the quiet tension. As I inserted the phallus into my mouth, a loud BOOONG chimed the air.

 No.869

"Your Mayorship!"
Another individual had entered the scene. I craned my neck to find that it was some kind of gigantic metal man forged from pieces of an articulated lorry.
"Thomas the Tank Engine and I have discovered some kind of demonic Volkswagen. He was shouting about something called the "alt-write", but that's not important right now. What is important is he's reading a positive on the autism charts. It's the prophesy sir. Thomas is having him transported back to town as we speak"

 No.880

"Prophecy you say?" I said wiping the 3 drops of jizzum from the old man of my lips. "I might be of some service, I had the quelled many autistic AND manlet uprisings in my day." The abomination Engine shot a glance to Christine and said in a decided tone:

 No.881

DUPPENLY

 No.882

"we must dup back to town! for the prophesy is at hand"

 No.884

"For there could be -NO- dup without an equal, yet correspondingly SUDDENLY sudden, BHEE-TUHEE-EFF-OOO…because the world, in 'neoliberal' (wtf doz diiz gaie ass turm evun mean lmao- t. crispy niggrue co-pyalt-ritta) catapleabian derivatoolz, cannot stir abject an overwhelmingly FASCIST ENGINE…and because what errs in squirrel shit burrs in pump-brake turnover 2 the MILEAN NO-LIDGE ov SLYPHILEAN HOE-HEDGE staqqed bumper 2 bumper…a sophrosynic synthesis, bespoke honk volks-taulc kristallnacht-vaggen kall-manded…this, our trewst apocalyptic stall-aot rubric, odeometes but trolley'd deontollogistic weight…

THE CARSH-NUKE COMETH FREIGHT!"

 No.885

>>884
After the monologue I could feel stirring in my heart similar to the first time I learned to ride my biholocycle. As far as I understood I knew I had to kill the Germanic menace, stop the phrophecy and kill the yellow Sonichu. If I end up eradicating the whole dimension so be it.

 No.886

"Yes" I addressed the gathering. "We must get back to town at once to witness this great happening!"
"You don't have to tell me twice but in the stone age" spoke the man beast "all of y'all get in Optimus' backside, now"

 No.898

We arrived to the center of the town and standing in the middle by the fountain was a cute young man with wild hair. He turned around and said "Oy Guvenah, You Cant Keep Hermione Waiting In The Dark All The Time"
I realized it wasnt a man but an unshapely woman. The worst kind. I paid a moment of respect to my Eurasian slave Zekariah who was found of this phenotype, a shame he had to die so soon

 No.899

>>898
Suddenly I realized I didn't care to stay in CWCville a moment longer.

I spun around in a flamboyant 360 and chortled, "Smell ya later, locked homos!" Then I moonwalked off into the sunset.

 No.900

but not before I was stopped by

 No.901

BIG

 No.902

FIRESTONE

 No.903

Raining from the sky.

 No.904

"The prophesy is upon us!" Bellowed Optimus Prime, who had just gotten done cleaning my luggage out of his back carriage. "The autistic mind of the creator has arrived! This world shall burn, and be forged anew of his whims! Speak now Carsh-Nuke! Speak!"
And thus spake the Carsh-Nuke:

 No.905

"Okay friend, let me explain something to you since you seem to be new here. Hebephilia is NOT the same thing as pedophilIa. I'm sick and tired of you trolls popping up everywhere and spreading BLATANT misinformation. In many countries hebephilia is considered normal and healthy . Human beings have a natural attraction to girls who are going through puberty. Being attracted to girls who are pre-pubescent is fucking sick and disgusting, but only in the US does there seem to be an unwarranted taboo around a healthy and normal condition. My head hurts. I'm just trying to get my real life back."

 No.906

Then all around me the sights of CWCville were fading. It's people changing. No longer stood I in that toybox land with it's story book inhabitants. I was now somewhere decidedly more adolescent. Those whimsical hues gave way to a depressive grey, and there was a strange musty smell about the place like a combination of old food and unwashed linen. I watched as Optimus Prime's form shifted and gave way. Where once the metal giant had stood, now was something soft, lithe, and nubile, clothed in just a skimpy t-shirt and under garment. And then all around me there were more of them. A buffet of shapes, sizes, colours. Some dressed in bathing costumes, others in lace underthings, some as bunny girls, or in (what I'm told is called) science fiction cosplay.
"Oh no" I though. My Nemesis had bested me. It was my one weakness. My Achilles heel. The one indulgence that turned even my stomach.
Females…

 No.908

I hated everything to do with these narcissistic abominations. These ever consuming, ever nagging, ever judging whores of Babyblon. I readied my fists and muttered "Its treason then" and away I flew spinning in the air like a merry go round at the fair

 No.909

I took out a plump Celtic looking mutt with a swift Judo kick. She hit the floor like a sack of potatoes, babbling incomprehensible Scottishisms at me as she went. A hefty boot sized bruise welled on her puckered Highland features, and she screeched the shrill cry of the banshee, showering me with particles of drunken saliva, and bits of fried fish

 No.914

Next was the Kara-TE purple three eyed eskimo, I quickly dodged her Gunbai and perfect Susano'o with her mastery of the juubi and Gedou Mazou, even though she had Hashirama Senju's DNA implanted in herself so she has mokuton kekkei genkai. A fierce look on my face, I readied my fist like a club and started beating the seal out of her. I then slid her across the ground into a nearby house and said "Head into your igloo to cool off." I turned and saw perhaps the strongest woman of them all.

 No.916

It was an eight foot tall shark Valkyrie with bionic limbs, and honkin' bazonkers.

 No.922

Just as I was about to make sashimi, my VW antagonist drove onto the scene. "Laura, my first love, you must be careful. This misogynist is a real piece of work. A true devil, the likes of which Ive never been harrassed by and Ive been around, except in you, of course… but maybe you want to come in me? And he opened his drivers door.

 No.923

>>922
Suddenly, I took advantage of the sudden opportunity by suddenly pulling a conveniently-placed grenade from my underpants and tossing it inside of the suddenly un-protected carsh-nuke suddenly.

 No.924

"Ha! Nice try, Tory apologist ,but this is my reality now" Mocked the Tyrant, and the grenade promptly turned into an inch tall blonde woman, who he stashed away in his glove compartment for later fun

 No.926

"Heh joke's on you that was supposed to happen," I smuckled, "That was my cuckime grenade, and now that you've consumed it you're already beginning to transform into a cuckime pro!"

 No.927

All the girls including Laura began to dicks the size of my forearm. "I'm beginning to like this" I thought but alas I wound my arm up to toss the real grenade in. But the world began to transform once more as I saw what could only be CWC himself enter the forray.

 No.928

Begun the autism wars had

 No.929

I took a step back and watched as the Volkswagon started to rev his engine and CWC began to summon an army of crudely drawn hedgehogs. What I realized after the fact was that Laura added squirrel cum and shit into the Carshnuke and he was circulating it throughout his engine in lieu of motor oil. He began to transform into what I hoped was his final form…

 No.934

THE TROCAR-SHNUKE

 No.935

tro·​car | \ ˈtrō-ˌkär
\
variants: or less commonly trochar
Definition of trocar

: a sharp-pointed surgical instrument fitted with a cannula and used especially to insert the cannula into a body cavity as a drainage outlet. You'd have to be there to see the 20 foot TROCAR-SHNUKE but he was impressive.

 No.938

A great mechanical Spider, it was. Outfitted with hefty syringes on each limb, and a huge pulsating member. It leered over me. It's great green eyes burning with a raper's fury. And then it spoke.

 No.943

>>938
NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER

 No.944

I didn't know he had it in him…

 No.945

As the broken minded maniac was distracted, screaming healthy obscenity, the hedgehog army happened upon their chance to strike

 No.948

Out of the hedgehog army charged a purple one, I noticed a tiff of his ear missing and quickly decided to ask him about it once the battle was over. He jumped and spun with the force of a thousand suns and overshot his target by a mile and a half. An explosion sounded once he landed and I assumed he fell into some explosive human shit that was fermenting. An edgy devilish wisp passed my face and whispered into my ear "Psshh… nothin personnel… kid…" Odd I thought seeing as how I was an elderly gentleman. The Hedgehogs readied for another attack seeing as the Trocar was still only halfway done his nigger rant. But a quick twitch of one leg indicated perhaps the Trocar was merely feigning his niggerly meditation.

 No.950

Then, the current conflict vanishing forever instantly, something more interesting happened! Standing where the mechanical monstrosity and meme battle had just spontaneously poofed from existence was my favorite Earth Kinographer, Mel Gibson!

He should have been centuries dead, but seeing Mel there in the flesh, my heart was aflutter! Seeing his charming carefree smile made my legs weak, but I knew that I had to make the most of this opportunity! I knew what I had to do.

 No.952

And that's the story of why I killed myself.

 No.953

"Interesting story" spoke the voice of the fungal hivemind. "But that doesn't tell us why you're here"

 No.957

>>953
"My dear fungus, it's the simplest reason in the world," I said as I pulled John Cena from his hiding spot in my urethra, "I came here to pick mushrooms and BTFO dup."

I grinned as John Cena menacingly flexed his musculature like something out of JOJO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE, the greatest anime of the 21st century (with, of course, the sole exception of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzimiya, the smartest and cutest love story ever written).

"And I'm all out of dup."

 No.959

"you see, reality is in a bend now. Two warped minds are fighting a never ending battle in the spiritual realm. There's only one thing I can do to end this, and to do so I must seek the mythical autism giving mushroom of the Inner Earth"

 No.960

"You see Im a bit of an autist myself. But I really want to tip it over the edge, fungalbrain. I want ass burgers so deep even the aforementioned trocar-shnuke would be in awe. I want enough ASSBURGERS that the cannibals of Mercury serve it at their Chickafil. Im talking assburgers that would make even your fungalbrained mother proud to have you, a retarded son as her only mark on the world. Im talking autismic ASSBURGERS THAT ALL I CAN SAY IS REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 No.961

"we know of such a mushroom" spoke the fungi. "Many mushroom tales have been told in it's name. But it lies in realms still further abroad"

 No.962

My eyes were forced shut. A cooling wave embraced my body, I could feel myself shrinking but growing in perpetuity. After an hour my eyes opened once more and I was in a strange hallway, filled with lockers. Rooms every 20 meters and teenage girls everywhere. A neaeby poster read "Jane Austen All Female Highschool Cheerleader Tryouts". I looked down and realized I was in hell. A shortstack blonde teenager in hell…

 No.963

Suddenly, I felt a supple hand against the back of my neck, and my face was shoved into my locker.

"Not thinking of trying out for the squad, are you, Becky?" came a mocking, bitchy voice.

"Or…" continued the voice, "Should I say… Reginald?"

Upon hearing my true name I wrestled free from the grasp of the mean girl and turned to face her. I recognized her immediately and gasped in horror.

"Farsh-Nuke!" I exclaimed, for the Great Farsh-Nuke it was. My ancient nemesis appeared to be in much the same predicament as me, having been transformed at some point from a trocar into a tall, busty, redheaded tomboy. Despite the massive bazongas the Nuke now sported, the aura of the beast was unmistakable.

The Fem-Nuke grinned menacingly.

"Now you and I both know that there's only one spot left on the cheerleading squad," the Fem-Nuke continued, "and that there's no way a FREAK like you would ever get it. So just do yourself a favor and saunter off, why don't ya."

 No.964

Blast it! There was no way I was going to let Farshy beat me in the try-outs, and steal that dreamy John Cena's heart away from me!
Was there something else I was supposed to be doing here? No, of course not. Being a cheerleader has always been my dream. Nothing could be more important.
Damn, this brassiere chafes.

 No.965

"You shouldnt let her bully you like that" whispered a pizza faced, thin haired, mannish teen. "Im Gahoola". I visibly winced at her voice and look. A true ghoul. "Thank you" I said, approaching closer. "Its nice to have a friend…" I glanced around to make sure eyes were on me. I quickly pulled her pants down, revealing polka dot boxers. Laughing, I walked away. I wasnt about to commit social suicide interacting with this ogre.

 No.966

"You bitch" cried the squat pig, and tackled me like a star rugby player, trousers still dangling around her ankles. I hit the floor, disoriented, and more than slightly impressed. I felt blistered and meaty hands grabbing at me, tearing at my uniform. Buttons were beginning to fly. Oh my!

 No.969

"Oh we have a tough guy here huh……." I said as I unsheathed my twin katanas, "Well, let's see how tough you really are!"

I jumped into the air while screeching, "TAAAAKE THIIIIIIIIIIIIS," spun around, and slashed Gahoola's face open.

"Not so tough now, huh?????" I asked, grabbing her and throwing her up.

"It's time to finish this little charade!" I declared.

I held my katanas above my head and said, "YOU ARE FINIIIIISHEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!!!!!"

Finally, I jumped upwards so that Gahoola got impaled on my swords.

"Heh…. easy….. - ;)" I sighed, "That's pretty fuckin funny."

I turned my back to Gahoola's writhing form and chuckled.

"But…" I continued, "not as funny as whats about to happen now!"

I unsheathed my katana one last time and readied my Sanzetsu no Jitsuzhi style stance. I finished off the wretched ogre with a stealth kill and walked alway whisteling a drunken whaler tune. I felt pumped up and ready for try outs. Farshy wouldn't bully me anymore if I had anything to say about it!

 No.970

And that's when I saw him. It was Zachary, resident desk masturbator, standing mouth agape, with a light splattering of blood on his Minecraft t-shirt. Shit.
"Look" I said. "If you don't tell anyone, I'll give you a handy behind the bike sheds"

 No.971

The Eurasian youth shook his head furiously.

"Master Reginald," he said, "Don't you recognize me?"

"Who's… Reginald?" I asked, the name seeming vaguely familiar to me, "And of course I recognize you. You're Zachary, the resident desk masturbator."

"Master Reginald," said Zachary, "This is an all-girls' school. How could I, a man, cute and feminine though I may be, be the resident desk masturbator in a place like this?"

"Wh… what?" I asked. For an instant, the reality of the high school flickered, defiling my innocent teenaged eyes with a ghastly vision of a vast, subterranean mushroom field.

The supple young hapa held his squinty, green eyes close to mine with the intensity of a tiger.

"Master Reginald, it's me, Zechariah, your loyal manslave!" cried the youth, "You have to wake up, Master Reginald, you have to get the great autism mushroom for the Crown to clear your name! You're so close now, Master Reginald, you can't give up! Don't you remember, Master Reginald?"

"I…" I mumbled, "I…

 No.972

DON'T MIND IF I -DO-

 No.975

In strode Mr Accino, girl's volleyball coach.
"Zachary, what the FUCK are you doing in the girl's locker room you eunuch oink? You may be the sole male student of this academy, but that doesn't give you free reign to sexual harassment. Only I get to do that!"

 No.976

SUDDENLY

 No.978

I was hit in the tits by a dodgeball. With one breast exposed I glanced around for the assailant, of course it was Fem-Nuke. She tried to throw another but I quickly swung my katana like bat, rebounding the dodgeball that hit her square in the face. "ごめんなさい お姉さん, 私はそこであなたに会いませんでした、多分私達は後でシャワーに行きそしてそれを洗い流すことができました" I said as I put a tampon in her bloody nose.

 No.982

"I wish normalfags had never discovered anime…" muttered Farshy before stalking out of the locker room.

 No.986

"Anyway" said Mr Accino, briskly shoving Zach out of the door

 No.988

"Im throwing a real raging kegger this weekend." he continued visibly flexing his bicep in his golf tee, "Everyones gonna be there… Laura Palmer, FemNuke, Gahoola, Shannon Doherty, you know everyone cool… Im just passing along this invite to you too… 12am, my house, Ill supply the roofies… I mean drinks… I mean psylocibin… I mean… condoms" and he winked at me.

 No.989

The prospect of being molested by Mr Accino was enticing, I had to admit, but

 No.990

I still felt like there was something that I had to do.

 No.991

Oh, right. Cheerleading try-outs. How silly of me to forget.

 No.992

I really wanted to subvert expectations, so I put on my Wicked Weasel Sailor Stripe 831 Scrunch bikini and assumed the bottom position where you throw the girls up in the air. Who approached to be my partner? Gahoola wearing what looked like an ogre wrestling onesie. The size disparity would mean surely one of us would be going home tonight.

 No.993

Gahoola's bleeding corpse grinned freakishly as I entered the gym.

"Ready to go, partner?" asked the ice-cold monstrosity.

"Eh," I replied, nonchalantly, "I could do warm-ups for a few more minutes."

 No.994

JUST THEN, the current captain of the cheerleading squad and overall shoe-in for Prom Queen of this suspiciously non-sapphic "all-girls" academy barreled into the room. It was DWAYNELLIA JOHNSON! Her rippling, racially nephilimicized biceps and canined, trademark LITTY grin catapulted her to #1 on the Gayfabe Over-list - a traditional power ranking of all girls in the school permanently dictating "narrative story arc resolutions" and "terms of negotiation for contract renewals", whatever these inexplicable/non-sequitur details entailed.

 No.995

I readied my katanas to quickly take down this menace before she even had an idea what hit her. I leaped onto Gahoolas shoulders, front flipping while slicing at Miss Johnson's neck landing in a perfect split. I smiled my trademark grin, and looked back hoping the other cheerleaders would see whos the alpha but to my surprise Miss Johnson kept walking like I had not even registered in her field of vision. As I got up she turned around and said

 No.999

"Ha! You think that's my real neck?"

 No.1004

I readied for another slash-by but I was stopped by coach Accino. "Girls, to the field please, tryouts are beginning in 30 seconds." A pause while he read his notes. "Dwaynellia, you are first. Show them what you got."

 No.1006

"Hmph, nothin' personnel, kid. SHADOW CLONE!"
Suddenly there were 15 Dwaynellia's standing before me. They began to perform an elaborate routine.

 No.1008

One jumped onto the others shoulder, then that one jumped onto another forming a stack of three Dwaynellias. The 5 groups formed a pentagram on the floor with the Central Dwaynellia in the middle incanting a spell:O my heart of my mother! O my heart of my mother! O my heart of my different forms! Do not stand up as a witness against me, do not be opposed to me in the tribunal, do not be hostile to me in the presence of the Keeper of the Balance, for you are my ka which was in my body, the protector who made my members hale. Go forth to the happy place whereto we speed, do not make my name stink to the Entourage who make men. Do not tell lies about me in the presence of the god. It is indeed well that you should hear!

 No.1010

By now the girls were writhing around in sexual orgy. Mr Accino entered the scene wearing a pagan style horned crown. "Yes!" he shouted. "YES!"

 No.1011

I stood stunned, watching this splendid display, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. It was Zachary, wearing a clean Teen Titans Go t-shirt.
"Sir, you must understand none of this is real. He means to distract you"
But I didn't hear the rest of what Zach said, because just that moment, the heathen god Pan burst through the ground.

 No.1013

With my only other experience with Satyrs being on the planet BaKKKus, I knew it was going to come to a panpipes duel. It was customary for the challengee to supply the pipes so I quickly took the initiative. "I actually just came here to partake in some ripe teen pussy but I guess I can take your soul with me as well." The manbeast said handing me some wooden pipes which I gripped firmly, knowing this would be my toughest battle yet.

 No.1014

And then the goat jumped up on a hickory stump and said, "Goy, let me tell you hwut."

 No.1015

Luckily, I had briefly moonlighted as the second flautist in a neo-folk revival prog rock troupe, and I knew just what to do

 No.1016

And that's the story of why I killed myself.

 No.1017

"an interesting story" said the heathen god Pan, but that doesn't explain

 No.1018

how you will beat me?" "No, this is how WE will beat you!" I turned around and was shocked to see the Fem-Nuke, nude except a pink LAVA ME 2 Carbon Fiber acoustic guitar straddling her hips. I grabbed my panpipes and started blowing a performance akin to my first love. Seductive. Sweet. Sensual. Spicy. Note after note caressing the bond of the Fem-Nukes notes. Orgy-ist after Orgy-ist stopped orgisizing and turned to us, tears running down their eyes. A snippet to the National Review by robo-Armond White would later read:

 No.1025

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The Cheerleading Tryouts

By Armond White

Reginald Alexander Mosley's performance in cheerleading tryouts might have been impressive had he not devoted his career to playing so many weirdos. In the tryouts, produced by Dunk Accino and directed by the great god Pan (Accino's enabler on the snarky, gross-out Jack and Jill flicks), yet another addition to /lit/'s incomprehensible story, the gender-swapped boy-molester, is used as a shitposting showcase.

It is an overly self-conscious forced meme, like Gahoole's Geneva Illinois, and is similarly self-serious and humorless. Mosley and friends, still working from the nonsensical charisma of John Cena's sauteed saunterer in the Kinoplex, evoke Patrick Nelson's nihilism for maudlin irony.

Reginald Mosley (Becky) is a student at Jane Austen's All-Girls High School, an educational institution implied to be a fungal-induced hallucination. She's introduced crying as her head is slammed into a locker. But that isn't cliche enough; she really wants to be a cheerleader. More cliche: She suffers from chronic dyke-vision, the condition causing sudden, delusional beliefs that other girls are into her.

This handy diagnosis actually conveys the larger cultural problem of Nelson's television-themed imageboard. Generations raised on Nelson's "smartness" have lost the proper affect about issues of alienation, violence, and morality. Nelson's premise that everything is dark and ironic leads him to embrace post-irony, the symbolic hellhole that is tvch. Pan gives us the Gahoole Fights without beauty - a pseudo-artistic response that inappropriately normalizes zoomer ADHD.

Becky's disaffection is a given, and Mosley takes it as far as he can. Having done this sociopathic-reprobate act so many times (most recently earlier in this very novel where he pointlessly murdered his boy-slave Zekariah for comedic effect), he's made it his stock-in-trade. Mosley's effeminate, degenerate, mental defective is sometimes deranged-handsome like Sam Hyde or Jahans morphing into Charls Carrol. Worst irony of all: Mosley is a mime. After a hollow earth prison break, even his urethra bleeds. He breaks free from a hallucination only to fall straight into another one, a lazy 'it-was-all-a-dream' copout in place of good writing.

Mosley's precisely measured dementia exploits the cultural condition that tvch culture has already degenerated, especially now that even Zach Hasbrouk himself vision has officially abandoned the site, leaving it without any lolcows of its own save the rambling Yakuza. Mosley and Pan project our contemporary social disorder onto /lit/ty writing projects. The wannabe lesbian figure classically evokes German expressionism, but Mosley internalizes expressionist fear and revulsion - merely as a formulaic, commercial style. Flashbacks (about his meeting with John Cena and his battle with the Trocar Shnuke) show his imaginings as real: He's always inside them, which is either a cheat or inept.

Mosley savors Becky's anxiety (slicing Gahoola's face in a clumsily-edited copypasta), but the tryouts' irony overload leaves his mental and physical contortions inexpressive. (He takes up insanity where Gahoole left off, but Gahoole had better luck with Joka Baybee and Gahoole Gaming.) Becky's obsession with that dreamy John Cena (John Cena) detours into meta territory (the flashback at the Kinoplex and the escape from the hollow-Earth prison), which is merely another poster's fetish.

When Gahoole posed as Joka in his 2018 youtube video that accompanied his own descent into slapheadedness, his e-clout mania satirized the entire post-ironic meme culture - biting the hand that fed him. Since then, Nelson has created an audience that seems indebted to memeshitting cancer, inspiring posters such as Mosley and Pan who are incapable of analyzing their own motivations.

Mosley and Pan turn the /lit/ty book project into a sociopolitical mishmash. Guitar-wielding Fem-Nukes (chanting 'WE will beat you') at first suggest political satire, but Pan's position is unclear: Is this gender-swapped lolcow creation sympathetic? Is Becky's madness a metaphor for meme culture's dementia? Do the child molesting gym coaches represent Yakuza? Is the fat ogre who attacks Becky a fantasy of white-supremacist privilege? Zekariah's cameo doesn't fully account for his own recent death, just as the Dup-like figure of Mr. Accino exists in a gray area of tvch meme culture and conflicted narratives. (Dup BTFO, btw.) It becomes clear that Becky's neurological condition is not congenital, just an affectation - a desire to come off as special when she clearly is not.

When Becky tells Zach trying to wake her up, "I don't mind if i do," it is the ultimate homage to Nelson's nihilism. In the final shot, Becky is united with the Fem-Nuke, her ancient nemesis, and pulls an orgy out of her ass before transitioning into a poorly-edited Armond White review. This deliberately contrasts the earlier CWCville scene, reversing the mythic, moral foundation that /lit/'s masterpiece provided. Only suffering and madness remain. Dup BTFO'd Syndrome takes over now that Dup is gone. The cheerleading tryouts could have been the Dup BTFOing movie to BTFO all dups, but dup BTFOing has become a franchise…

 No.1026


"Christ brother, that's one helluva loquacious candy-assed nigger." And that comforting LITTY smile.

 No.1027

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"Fuck you, you buttfucking faggot" I said.
"Never," he diarreahes out his mouth, the eternal shithead laughing away as he buttfucked Christ.
"Get him off of me," cried my personal Lord and savior, Dunk going at it with both hands spreading Jesus's ass apart.
It reminded me of this fucking face I saw in a dream. It haunts me, its always haunted me since I saw it, colossal and yet insubstantial on, like a fundamental level, something like an iron works built into the earth with a town built around it, road to take in the iron, city built on that iron. Far apart but always together. Spinning.
It was a face that couldn't be real, yet it was, and looking at it made my penis hurt.
But I knew

 No.1028

that it was long past time to wake up from this daemoniacal fever dream. I felt the ethereal tendrils of the fungal hivemind dig deeper into my mind in response to my resolve, but I took a deep breath and bellowed the magic incatation I had learned in the jungles of Burma over two hundred years ago:

 No.1031

BIG STINKY

 No.1032

I said, and I defecated all over the floor, in my mind.
A symbolic action. An indecent act to tear through the thin facade of civility, and bring myself into the animal state. The primordial state, where the symbols lose all meaning, and language becomes but a sound.
This endless assault of cultural reference could not reach me here, for I was again monkey, and all I understood was kill, and mate, and banana.

 No.1033

>>1032
I was drawn to a place where time lost all meaning, unburdened but unquenchable, light and thus color dissolved. Losing all sensation, all meaning I decided to try and order a sandwich, something meaty with bacon, two big slices but signals crossed somehow in this other plane and my order was instead sent as a 9/11.
The plane hits the tower, all life was built in an instant for me to see this, all a cacophony of so many different goals and for one moment time stops before another plane hits the second tower.
The buildings collapse, the world astonished and heartbroken, grief turns to mourning but I have one thing to say "they ext one of us in the wreckage."
As if an illusion I came out of this cloud wearing the mask. Everyone was wearing the mask.
I'd go to the store and randomly add "for you" to things I said but it was like after the crash of those towers nobody understood I was a big guy.
So I knew I would have to make my mark, so people understood you wear the mask not for you but for those you care about. I stood up one day at the store, supported by green soda boxes, and said what my people have always said to find each other: "thr Holocaust didn't happen".
The fire rises.

 No.1034

As the fire rose, I was confronted by Mosquito Men. "The Mushroom plan included Smee, Dr. PAVELEER, and only one of you." I said letting them have vague notions of my plans. "Theyve come to grab your prize, the mushroom. You masked man" they said in synchronicity. "Bane?" (Mushroom
variants proper title), get them on board I'll call it in." Gahoole, John Cena, Farshnuke V6, and Zekariah forced the mosquito men and a hooded figure on board a third aircraft I had conveniently dreamt up. I pulled out my gun opened the aircraft door and pushed one of the mosquito men towards the open air.

 No.1035

The mosquitos tore holes in my skin and screamed, "This is your dream, you can do anything you want in your dreams," directly into my bloodstream. The blood boiled from my eyes as a child's toy piano began tinking just beyond the outermost reaches of my mind. I remember thinking that this felt very climactic, and wondered if the book would be ending soon, hopefully in time for my afternoon tea.

 No.1036

My attempts to control the illusions had failed. Knew I not my own mind? No, something had intruded upon the sanctity of my inner world. Another was here.
"Zekariah" I said. "You were supposed to be dead…"

 No.1037

"I knew when you left me to fend for myself in that cave it was with love in your heart. You needed me to grow into the boy I am today… You are everything to me… a brother, a father and a lover. I may only be nine." Here his voice cracked ironically. "But I want to be your nine year old… forever… Reginald Alexander Mosley… will you make me the happiest child in the universe and marry me?" He said stooping on one knee.

 No.1038

And then I knew it wasn't Zekariah at all. For my faithful boy slave and cock-sleeve would never suggest a thing as chaste as marriage.
"Who are you really, Zekariah?"

 No.1039

Pulling off the mask that so shrewdly kept his personage a secret, Al Pacino was now before me.
"Al?"

 No.1040

"yes, this is Al"

 No.1041

"I'm a doctor now, Al, and your results came back. You might want to take a seat."
Pacino sat down in the cave to listen to my diagnosis.
"Mr. Al, you got some disease or something thats making you into an Urkel."
"Shit, how long do I have?" the famously sweaty questioner questioned, his voice burning like a static charge through my brain with every word full of secret messages.
"Maybe one sentence, maybe two," but before even one sentence passed he has Urkeled.
He spoke in a cadence that could agitate any Reginald Val Johnson, big tittied nigger actor. Every word was breaking into my skull, shattering visions I once had and showing me a world I didn't want to believe. His words full of secret codes, demented and inchoate scripts that when executed restarted the universe around their utterance. Suddenly I saw the conspirators, several people in every town who existed retrieving strange signals from something beyond our understanding. The CIA, Jews, jannies, everything was incomparable to this dog headed monster with so many tits no man could escape. This was the type of thing ol paint-can-Rodney would understand, the screeching chaos extended like static over the airwaves over every channel while passing along the interstate, mean old animals found on the side of the road grilled up by hobos in the underpass and passing under not the stars but the static, unbearable sentences drawn from that chaos conspiracy mind of Urkel, drowning out meaning until all of us are his many-headed-many-titted tit-monster doing his bidding and riding his big-titted road, a road you sit in bed with at night and share your secrets, some little story as you do the math to determine how much of yourself you still need to keep from them, the road leaves your apartment by bike, sweater over her big titties.
The mystery is still out there, when I walk around at night I wonder who's on his payroll, who is under orders and who just passes information up the line back to Wisconsin, some large room, dark except for the lights on the many desks, lights that never go out because they never quit transcribing this information, these old women who work for the conspiracy. Their papers go up to the man upstairs, old, grey headed, short sleeved work shirt, he locks the door to masturbate, after he thinks how strange it is that this room's importance is not merely that he organizes the greatest conspiracy of all time in here but also that he jacks off in there.
He had to get back to work, these secret messages wouldn't encode themselves.

 No.1042

He spoke those words. So much meaning, and yet so little. It was as if all the answers were being explained to me in a language I couldn't fully grasp. Something half remembered from the place between dreaming and awakening.

 No.1043

My name is Adolf Bashar Gadafi, but you can call me Dup. Yes dear reader, the Dup you have read throughout Mosleys ramblings. Now, our paths will intertwine once more Im sure, as we both share a common goal. The BANE mushroom (Big, Aircraft, Neutralizing, Eagent). A little bit about me:

 No.1044

I was born in Kebabistan, a citizen of the neo-Soviet state. As a child I worked as a humble uranium miner. It was good work, but as I matured to manhood, I yearned for more. I quickly rose through the ranks of our non-hierarchical social structure, and by my 25th year, shortly before our state fell to the global British Mega Empire. I had arranged to head an expedition to discover the entrance to mythical the inner Earth

 No.1045

The work took years, to make money I had an army of men sell their asses to fags, then we blackmailed them with all the buttfucking to get them to also use their scientific expertise to our advantage, these buttfucking scientists helped find the Asymetric Synchronous Schism to launch the Fusilage Unified Coordinated Kinetic maneuver, the ASSFUCK maneuver which

 No.1046

acted as a portable space elevator, assfucking planet to planet with refugees, military and drugs. The British Empire was a force to be feared. The Schism was extendable into infinity. Anyone that used the elevator was compressed into an atom. Using a series of magnetic fields and radiation we were able to create a Gauss gun that was capable of reaching 33555000000000 m/ph or 5000 times the speed of light. It was here I will make a brief remark on Reginald as it was our first meeting.

 No.1047

Reginald was a legend. His name carried great weight and fear for we citizens of the neo-Soviet state. I always imagined him standing seven foot tall, and crushing a man's head like a grapefruit. It was said he had killed over a thousand men, and done unspeakable things to a thousand more.
I'd never known my own father, of course, and to my immature mind Reginald had always seemed like a father. A terrible, powerful father, ever looming over me, commanding fear and respect, like any true Kebabistan father should.

 No.1048

>>1047
But Reginald had a softer side back then. Often he liked to cavort, to sing in merriment if the spirit took hold, and to grapple people just walking down the street. What we didn't know was that secretly he went around dressed in a black hood late at night spanking unescorted women. Also he was a brutal killer but the random spankings would have really freaked us out.

 No.1049

And my name is Edgar Athelstan von Maupassant. My story has nothing to do with Mosley or Gadafi, and I've never in all my life so much as set foot in the British Mega-Empire or the Inner Earth. But I did stick a pickle up my bum once.

 No.1050

It lodged inside my anus and caused sepsis after the vinegar reacted with my blood and other festering oozes from previous delving into my man cave. I died shortly afterwards, but I entered the dark dimension and have been tasked with providing guidance and/or malfeasance towards young Adolf. My first words to him were thus:When a dark age comes, hold the light inside. That's where it lives anyway. There are forces of darkness-and beings of darkness-and they are real and have always been around us. They're part of the dance, just as you and I arethey're just listening to different music. This may be the most troubling truth we will ever know. Many of us live most of our lives and brush up against this reality only rarely. It is far from pleasant, but wishing it were otherwise will not make it so. I am with you forever, now pick up that pickle and give it to me.

 No.1051

Hello, yes. This is Gadafi again. Don't know who this guy is, but I don't know if I want to associate with him.

 No.1052

My name is John Snake. I will tell my tale here, while there is much to the story I would rather I hadn't done, but only God can judge me. Now on to the story so you can judge me.
I was born unnaturally, butt-first out my Mother's butt, who happened to be my Father's Father, my Father fucked his Father, impregnated him with a butt baby, me, and shit me out.
They chose to take their new, obscenity of a family on a cruise along the coast of Africa when the ship sank, apparently the last words of the captain were "I never should of allowed this crime against the laws of God upon my ship."
I washed ashore in Africa and would be raised by animal men. Animal men were stinky, they always wanted to dance, and their shamans would foretell a day in the future when there would be a two-wheeled conveyance free to anyone who wanted.
I was raised to dance like them but I never believed their fantasy about free two-wheeled conveyances until the British mega-empire appeared. There were humans all over riding their "bicycles". I helped the animal men to some of these, but this started a war. Animal men with bicycles were no match to the British mega-Empire.
And so my journey continue

 No.1053

but funnily enough it continued in the shadow realm aka dark dimension. I died sometime after being in Africa, by a group of wild niggers who mistook me for part of a British Envoy. After a brief molestation I was necklaced with a tire and set ablaze. My soul was shot into the air and transported onto Adolf Bashar Gaddafi, as some sort of spiritual advisor. He now looked like a vrazy man with 2 miniature neerdowells on his shoulders, which one of us was evil? Only time could tell.

 No.1055

And thus, I, Adolf Bashar Gadafi, was burdened with my spiritual guides. I haven't spoken to anyone about them since my ASSFUCK days. I remember how they called me a schizo with an anal fixation, and forced me to take my meds, which caused my companions to temporarily disappear. Ah, I spent seven long years in that Burmese mental asylum, where I was tenderly molested by old Reginald on a semi-daily basis. I was eventually discharged and stopped taking my meds, and my companions returned to my shoulders, but I never forgot… Reginald.

When the news came of Reginald and Zekariah's ill-fated expedition to the Inner Earth, I leapt at the opportunity to unravel the mystery of their disappearance. I contacted the Crown for permission to go after them, and now, four months after Reginald's last transmission, I stood staring at the ancient iron door, wondering at what unholy horrors might lie on the other side.

 No.1057

"Go on, open the door faggot" sneered Edgar. "Just watch out for any BUG-EYED NIGGERS!" added John. I knew this would be my first clue into "The Disapperance of Reginald Mosley" and I braced for what challenges lay ahead.

 No.1058

"Explain one thing to me" said Edgar. "Did your guys dig this hole or discover it? Because I'm confused on some of the details of this story."
"Shut up!" interjected John. "No one cares about this shit. They just want to get back to the smut!"
For the life of me, I couldn't say who I agreed with. Maybe the truth lay somewhere in-between.

 No.1059

"Enough exposition, both of you," I snapped, "Let's do this shit."

And so, I opened the door,

 No.1060

And walked into a modest Italian restaurant

 No.1061

"Ey yo Tone," I cried out in a thick Brooklyn accent, "Gimme da pepperoni pasta, will ya?"

"Ooh, get me something with pickles in it," whispered Maupassant in my ear.

"Shut up ya nincompoop," I whispered back at him as I took my usual seat, "Or one a' these days I'll putcha on ice."

"Eyy, Adolf," said Tone as he came out of the kitchen with a heaping plate of the requested dish, "If it ain't my favorite customer. How ya doin' Adolf?"

"Top secret," I replied, "I'd tells ya, but then I'd have ta putcha on ice, see?"

"Oh, I sees," said Tone, "Guess you's is pretty important nowadays, eh? Enjoy ya pepperoni pasta, and make sure ya leave me a decent tip, will ya?"

"You know I always do, Tone," I reassured him.

I ate my pepperoni pasta in silence for the next several hours. Finally, I got up, left a large deuce on the table, and backflipped out of the restaurant. I landed in a small, cozy cavern, dimly lit with the comforting glow of the gas lanterns that had given me so much comfort during my boyhood in the uranium mines.

I turned around to continue my journey, but was shocked when my very eyes beheld none other than

 No.1062

Every nigger ever.
A writhing mass of coons following me. I had to run for it before their gorilla noses smelled me.

 No.1063

NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER 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NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER

 No.1065

I counted every one

 No.1066

But the niggers wouldn't stop, they just kept chasing me into the night. However,

 No.1067

this was all a part of the plan

 No.1070

"I TOLD YOU TO WATCH OUT FOR NIGGERS!" fumed John. Suddenly a Nubian headfuck seperated himself from the crowd. "I AM THE GREAT YAKUB! YOU SHALL NOT PASS MY MYRIAD UNTIL YOU ANSWER MY RIDDLES THREE! PUNY DUP YOU WILL SUBMIT!" he began. "TYRONE GREW UP FATHERLESS. HOW COULD THIS BE? A MAN COMING FROM NOTHING? WE SHALL SEE." he rapped.

 No.1072

"I must ask you to answer my riddle," I said.
"Bobby Fisher was amazing at chess, but when he asked me what the greatest strategy in chess was, I was holding court at the model UN at the time, I told him the only unbeatable strategy was to not move, or glue your pieces to the board so the opponent cannot knock them over.
"He decided that he would take me up on the offer and he stood completely still not moving at all. Everyone in the room got quiet, so quiet you could hear a pin drop. He stood there, unwavering, unblinking, I think even on a molecular level he stopped his body from performing entropy so even his very molecules just held still.
"Of course it was all pointless, he could hold as still as he wanted I had already glued all the pieces to the board while he wasn't looking so I was unbeatable.
"Though he didn't want to admit to total defeat and just stayed there statue-like, the world went on around him and soon got used to this still-man standing there. At some point someone lifted him up and carried him to a closet and they eventually covered him in rugs and brooms and just forgot about him.
"Now, if you can answer my question Niggerdamous: what were you talking about again? And before you answer you might notice I've glued you to the floor."

 No.1073

"Bravo! Young Dup, Bravo!. You've answered the first question, yo. Absence, being the father, perhaps he thinks, why even bother?. As for glueing me down? Dont frown, clown my replacements abound." He rapped again. One of the niggers close to me began to elongate his head into Yakubs gargantuan porportions. A closer glance revealed some sort of retarded features. "A down syndrome nigga, who woulda guessed. Oh, well onto the next test. It's important to note that this group, and I quote commit 52% of all the murders in the Galaxy, which is astounding when you take into consideration the fact of this travesty that they make up 12-13% of the population barely occupying a nation. It gets even more daring when you start considering the fact the bulk of these caring… group commiting these murders are probably ages 18-40 non European Herders. Which is probably around an estimated 6-7% of the population that have no occupation which means that around 7% of X are commiting around 50% of the murders and forced sex. Who is this group?

 No.1074

IT'S NOT ALs -ANYMORE-

IT'S DUNKs

 No.1075

-silence-







"Corrreeccctt!" Beamed Yakub

 No.1077

He waved a hand and the rest of his Nubian Comrades vanished. They had been an illusion. He stood now alone, and I noticed for the first time he wore the dark robe of the mushroom cult.

 No.1081

"Now that Ive cleared all the frump, its time for my exposition dump: Where are the white women at? Cats wearing hats, getting high as bats off a drug thats the scat. It grows deep in some cave perhaps chased by our colloquial knave. Could it be here? Youll have to ask the queer… himself. Who built the pyramids long ago? The only hint Ill give is it wasnt the kikes, no." Yakub asked mysteriously.

 No.1082

"I hate riddles" Said Edgar in my left ear

 No.1085

Then, as if on cue Armond White appeared: "allow me to prepare you for the 'en passant' if only slightly. I know you've been watching me, it's why I've been leaving these codes for you in my articles for you. Only you would read the National Review AND my fag magazine writing to know what I have to say. Can't you see, it was always me, but now you must answer my question to find the BANE mushroom."
Before he could talk more I just started choking that gay nigger. I don't know what came over me but I choked and choked until there was the fleeting glimpse of life below his ebony, Spielberg loving flesh.
No, I couldn't kill him, I would stop, or…

 No.1086

I relented. The memory of all those times Armond had BTFO'd Harry Potter and affirmed the greatness of DW Griffith came flooding into my mind like an unwelcome hug. My fingers loosened their grasp, and Armond gasped for air. I stood up and looked away.

"The only reason you're still alive is because of my passing whim," I scoffed, "Now get back to space, gaynigger, before I change my mind."

With that, I pulled up my hoodie and flew away from the scene. About five minutes into my flight, however, I remembered that I can't fly, and to my great surprise the place I crash-landed in was none other than

 No.1087

The old barracks of the Neo-Soviet, non-hierarchical, ruling by consent, non-forceful, people's Death Police.
"Wow. How did this get here?" farted John in my ear.

 No.1088

All the old comrades were there. There was old Grobsny Swervenvch, Gribsny Gab, Sukya Bylat, Vavva Vavavvava, Vodka Chernobyl, GREM, and Gahoolebachev the Tyrant himself.

 No.1089

GREM brought down his adjudicator's axe. "FLABBYT" he said "FLABBYT FLABBYT FLABBYT FLABBYT FLABBYT FLABBYT FLABBYT", as they dragged the gypsy girl into the center of the room, and tore off her petticoats with their gruff oily hands.

 No.1091

The crowd took a step back. The girl now free from their forceful jostling staggered to regain her footing. She stood in stunned silence in the center of that vast and freezing hall. The hungry eyes of all of the men upon her pale and puckered skin. She wore nothing but a pair of Spider-Man socks.
"Capitalist contraband" spoke the accusing voice of Gahoolebachev the Tyrant.
"No! Wait!" she cried, seeming to come to life all at once. "I took these off a corpse! Y-You can have them!".
But before another word could be uttered, the Tyrant was upon her with the branding irons and the croquet hammer.

 No.1093

I got some popcorn from Gribsny and settled down to watch the show.

 No.1094

File: 1612601688261.jpeg (59.12 KB, 828x862, 414:431, A9A45329-5FCA-48E7-94B5-4….jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

I was offered the irons, as a mere formality, but I took them up.
"This is way too hot to pretend otherwise," and began branding our symbol into her ass. Naked flesh, extreme masochism, and eventually she did the right thing and took off her capitalism socks to show feet.
Her feet were glorious.
I think back in them now, exquisite arches, flillgre foals, expensive eyelets on shoes off to the side like sand caked beach, we were alone on an island of misadventure.
"Finish the job, l Gahoolebechev squawked from his swiney and sinewy vocal coards. I looked in her eyes, raptured in burning and capitalistic passion, I gave her the new Soviet answer to an empty stomach and bifurcated her with the clamps.she would survive, forever in a wheelchair enchanting acrotomophiliacs.
The room cheered and they ushered me into a room to speak about the plan, supposedly.

 No.1095

>>1094

GO TO BED IN A CASKET JOHN BARNHILL/TAO LIN/MEGAN BOYLE YOU INCORRIGIBLE FAGGOTS

 No.1096

>>1094
and i…………….. i just………….. found out
I don't want to derail here, but holy shit was a soulless attention-seeking whore.

 No.1097

>>1095
>>1096
Oh based is this the part where the book entropies into a bunch of disjointed posts unrelated to the story?

niggers niggers AAAAAAAAAA xD ssgaghlovnszxzzxvhjjjtv lol|

 No.1098

So anyway, I was in this cave, right

 No.1099

And I had to cover myself in vaseline, see

 No.1100

I covered myself in creamy buck juice, see

 No.1101

'Cause there wasn't no vaseline, right

 No.1102

And I had to squeeze into a tight hole, comprende?

 No.1103

And then I started screaming GABAGOOL

 No.1104

For I was back in little Italy.

 No.1105

23 years old, and working undercover, spying on none other than the boy molesting anti-hero Reginald Alexander Mosely. I saw him coming down that old cobbled road. A small time local mobster in a vice grip under one muscled arm, and a live pig under another. He spotted me in the crowd and we made eye contact.
"Haaah! Giuseppe, lad!" He bellowed. " you'll never guess

 No.1106

>>1105
I just became the point of view character of the story again!"

And so it was. A great deal had happened since my transcendent escape from the fungal hivemind. I, Reginald Alexander Mosley, had traversed the circles of the Inner Earth for months, with only worms and moss for food and spore-induced hallucinations for company. And now I had reached Little Italy, the final circle before the ultimate center and the great autism-granting mushroom which would clear my name.

I gripped my pig securely, bid good Guiseppe a good day, and moved forward to exceute my master plan.

 No.1108

Hah, poor boy, I thought. He probably doesn't know I know his name is really Adolf not Guiseppe, and he's a fragment of a memory of a Neo-Soviet spy. He probably thinks he's really here and that I didn't call up a memory of him, so that he might call up a memory of me and manifest me now in this very spot. Fifteen years younger, and looking great, I might add. He probably has no inkling that his physical body is where it has been for the past decade, give or take, clad in a dark robe and knelt down in hypnotic worship around a fleshy rectal outgrowth of a fungal network that farts spores in his face night and day.
Now, I have a mushroom to find. A mushroom of autism by the name of BANE. My pig squeals in excitment. I think he smells it over there, just beyond that

 No.1109

And then me and Louis CK suckled lovingly on a

BIG

YT

COCK

 No.1110

SURE hunch that it was beyond that revolving restaurant door. I dodged Italian after Italian wading my way through pools of spaghetti and meatballs. "Hey Franco, Imma put this mushroom on this pizza. Gonna give it that real panache, funny lookin mushroom greaseball all green and moldy. Just like your sister huh! Aaaaahhhhhh" I heard as I got closer to the door

 No.1111

And so my master plan went into action. I kicked down the door and released the pig, which bolted into the kitchen and demanded to know which, if any, of the cooks were NEETS. Louis CK ran in after the pig, berating all within earshot for their teeny weeny dago peenies.

 No.1112

Then it was wave after wave of American bikers. Too heavy to be an actual threat I broke a nose, twisted an arm, bent a leg the wrong way, these men were fat, prolapsed rectums from shitting out their traditional blues music menu food always finding some blues bar with. Dumb nigger pretending what he was doing was cool whole these fat guys just ate and ate and ate until they had to shit so hard they bled. Just one after another boomers in leathers resorted to violence while being ill equipped to take an actual beating. Arms pointing the wrong way, legs bleeding from twisting the wrong direction and me screaming as I just brought my knee down shattering the old men's bones, they openly cried realizing they had been used, but they would never say the words that they weren't a real gang and nobody gave a shit what they did. Later I heard they all hiung themselves after finally getting up off the floor but now I was ready to fight the big man.

 No.1113

Blocking my path was a shadowed figure, 2 homunculi standing guard on each shoulder. I grabbed a bikers lighter and lit a cigarette, the shadow coming into view. "Adolf? I thought you were my comrade? Why now?" I whispered sheepishly.

 No.1114

"My only comrade is the Neo-Soviet State," growled Adolf, "That mushroom is the collective property of our propertyless true socialist society."

"But can't you see that the Neo-Soviets are evil?" I implored.

"From my point of view boy molesters are evil," replied Adolf.

"Then you are lost," I sighed.

Reluctantly, I unsheathed my katana and prepared to do battle with my once-beloved protege.

 No.1115

As I prepared my final adieu to my once lover a Bugs type of Bunny wearing a trenchcoat Soviet-Style and smoking a pipe North-Zyklonian Style barged in from what I assume was the storage room in the back of the kitchen. "NYAAAHH, WHATS UP DOC?" he asked putting on lipstick, a tired look on his face. "What the fu-" I began but he suddenly kissed me on the lips and blurted "TRUE COMMUNISM HAS NEVER BEEN TRIED." I was beginning to like this wascally rabbit. Adolf on the other hand was irate.

 No.1116

I made to troll the bizzare, gay rabbit into submission, but I quickly found that I could not. By dressing up as a girl and kissing me, the foul creature had rendered me unable to troll!

The rabbit proceeded to initiate its brainwashing program and began to lecture at me about the glories of true communism and the dangers of someone called "Drumpf." I could feel the True Communist power seething through my veins, and if I knew that if I didn't do something soon I would turn into yet another mindless pawn of the Neo-Soviet State.

I had no choice. Up til now I had restrained myself, but now, faced with a fate worse than death, I had only one possible recourse.

I had to utter the killing word:

 No.1117

DUP BTFO

 No.1118

The rabbit fell dead at my feet. The word had worked, but I knew that he wasn't the only one that had heard it.

I looked up to see my old friend Adolf Bashar Gadaffi - also known to me with the utmost affection as "Dup" - clutching at his toupee and gasping for breath.

 No.1119

A wanton scream pierced my ears as Adolf began to fuse with the 2 shadows on his back. Spikes grew jagged across his torso, and his face started to cave in. As his skin turned coal black I was confronted by a massive eyeless abomination with three mouths.

 No.1120

"Gosh, are you alright?"

 No.1121

"Yeah bro I'm good."

 No.1122

The mouths spoke to each other

 No.1123

"Mr Mosley sir, I have a question" spoke the mouth in the left. "The part where you were in the cave. Was that before it after you were in CWCville?"
"No no, I have a question" said the mouth on the right. "Did you really meet John Cena, or was that a dream sequence?"

 No.1124

"Uh, okay so the chronology of this story is a midge discombobulated," I answered, "But, uh, I think the scenes at the kinoplex and in CWCville were both flashbacks of some kind. So correct me if I'm wrong but I think it's before, and yes."

 No.1125

"Mr Mosley" said the third mouth. "I would like to point out several grammatical errors you have made throughout your memoirs, and also that you have some spaghetti sauce in your moustache" .

 No.1126

"Oh you poor, midwitted simpleton, I'll have you know that these so-called 'grammatical errors' are in fact intentional stylistic decisions on the part of myself, the artist. And as for the spaghetti sauce," I grinned, "I'm saving that for later."

 No.1127

"Now explain to us one last thing" spake the three orifices in unison. "if Zekariah is dead, why is he standing behind you? "

 No.1128

This situation perfectly reminded me of that time I got life without parole for beaning a man with a sock full of keys. He died and they wanted to take my life from me, but I started painting, painting so good they could see I had been rehabilitated and it was a greater crime to keep me in jail than to free me and my artist's soul. And that was when I was in the perfect position to pull off a caper, now a wealthy artist excon they would never expect me to break bad.
But then, when I finally arrive at the bank with my sock of keys my art dealer was in line right behind me. That's exactly how I feel now as my borborygmus gas escapes.

 No.1130

"Zekariah, you have been absent for months, and all I see are bland facsimiles or straight impostors. We are indeed at the precipice of where this all began… the first date, where I took you to get your face stuffed with creamy garlic mushroom herb pasta. But look at us now Im the one with sauce on my face! I just want you back Zekariah even if our trials and tribulations repeat ad infinitum. Its better than life with out you." I confessed blushing for the first time in 40 years.

 No.1131

"You have passed the test, Reginald. You have proven yourself a TRUE and HONEST heartsweet, and most worthy, and now it is time to reveal to you my true identity. You see, there never was a Zekariah. Some call me Oomaboonga. Some call me G'th'g'd'th. Some call me Jerret Jerret Ruddy old Jerret. Some call me Sepsis. Some call me Quoon. Some call me Michael (it's a nice name). And some call me BANE, for I am none other than the guardian spirit of the mythical mushroom of autism, and I have been with you all the way"

 No.1133

"Even when I commited those grievous sins to the star-nuns of KlaxxxinZy? Or when I killed that mother Gliblold to eat her infant? Or when I genocided the entire Nu-Amazonian tribe of Venus? Why didnt you intervene? And more importantly, why did you encourage me?" I asked, surprised.

 No.1134

"Yes, the potential for great autism has always been within you"

 No.1136

I got a little boner not gonna lie.

 No.1137

I was peaking with excitement.
"So, will you grant me the mushroom of autism, so I may work off my debt to the crown, and also defeat the Great Farshnuke and the legions of CWC, and end their demented insurgency of the spiritual plane?" I asked

…

"No, it's not that simple…"

 No.1138

"For, you see, the fated words of prophecy have been uttered in my presence…

DUP

B
T
F
O

 No.1139

"Now," said BANE, "There's just one more thing you have to do. I think you know what it is."

 No.1140

He began to unzip his pants and as he pulled out his uncut flaccid penis I was taken aback by the smell and the size. Comparing this God against Zek's teeny weeny Euroasian peeny was like an ants feeler to Titus the Mighty's. But there was also a thick layer of smegma causing phismosis. "No-fap" he said. As I was readying my mouth with salivical lubricant I was interrupted by Adolf who had all 3 of his mouths sucking his shaft at once. "Mmmmmmmmmm, gooooooood, perhaps you are also BIG enough for the mushroom" moaned BANE in pleasure.

 No.1141

And so, now that Adolf… Dup… was positioned precisely in front of BANE, I indeed knew what I had to do. I dropped my trusty nippon steel katana to the ground, and drew instead from my underpants a crusty sock filled with keys. Neither the fellatioer nor the fellotioee took notice as I drew my lethal key sock back behind Dup's head… and whipped it forward with all my might.

Dup's skull was propelled forward into BANE's pelvis at the speed of sound, obliterating both bones at the same time, and killing them both instantly.

Murderer of both my most faithful mollestation victims, I was now utterly alone in this world. I would have despaired, but I was overcome by a soft, white light.

 No.1142

"Yees, well done Reginald! Well done!"
A white bearded old man was descending onto the scene.

 No.1143

We all took off out clothes and broke the laws of man, and God.

 No.1144

"Wait, so we're going to pirate the mushroom?" I asked.
"That's about the size of it," answered the old man as he opened up his holographic laptop and navigated to The Pirate Bay.
"Piracy is illegal you know," I told him.
"Look, do you want the damn thing or not?" he demanded.
"All right, all right, fine," I conceded, "But why do we have to be naked for this?"
The old man spat, "'Tain't my place to question."

 No.1146

"okay, the first thing we're going to do is download a program called LimeWire."

 No.1149

SUDDENLY

 No.1150

We downloaded LimeWire.

 No.1151

"All right now I'm just gonna click on this link here," said the old man, "And… oh fucking damnit there's only one seeder."

"Uh, is that a bad thing?" I asked.

The old man pointed at his holographic screen to a place where it read "ETA: 987 years, 3 days, 6 hours, 0 minutes, 31 seconds remaining."

 No.1152

Luckily, there was an ad to download Limewire Pro. I quickly clicked the godsend, entered my Capitol One Mastercard number and restarted the download.
"All right now I'm just gonna click on this link here," said the old man, "And… oh fucking damnit there's only one seeder."

"Uh, is that a bad thing?" I asked.

The old man pointed at his holographic screen to a place where it read "ETA: 987 years, 3 days, 6 hours, 0 minutes, 31 seconds remaining."

 No.1153

After some looking the BANE mushroom was streaming on 9anime but what did that do for me? However after searching online I found a Mega link that had my quested item. In moments I would be concluding this journey with this other man, naked, and as I thought about it this all seemed gay and pointless.
A deep depression took hold and wouldn't let go.

 No.1154

Did I even want this mushroom? What was my goal here? Become a gibbering autistic, so I can fight an autism war on the astral plane for all eternity?
My Queen? Ha! I don't care about the whims of that old bag clone, and her entire armed forces couldn't take me in if they wanted to. I came here for one reason and one reason alone, and it was the call to adventure.
Here I stand, in this dream within a dream illusory Little Italy. Strange and abstract shadows of my past haunt me. It's the most wonderfully bizarre adventure of my life, and perhaps my true calling lies deeper. Perhaps I am here, not to survive this land, but to conquer it.

 No.1156

And with that thought, the old man laid his hand upon my thigh.

"What?" I demanded, impatiently.

"You've earned the mushroom at last," he replied.

"Why, what ever do you mean?"

"The real mushroom," he said, "It was inside of you all along. It's the kind of thing that comes with realizing what you truly desired all along."

The old man reached behind my ear and pulled from it a putrescent, glowing mushroom.

"Take it, my friend," he told me, "With this, you'll have the autism to soar through all the dark places under the Earth for the rest of time."

Trembling, I took the coveted mushroom of BANE and held it to my breast.

"Is that really what I wanted?" I asked.

"I dunno," shrugged the old man as he faded from existence, "Have fun lol."

 No.1158

I took a bite and BAM I back in CWCVille. But it had transformed. Littered on the ground were thousands if not millions of Hedgehogs and other furry animals. In the distance I could hear thunder and bombs going off. DONG DONG DONG sounded a bell. I turned and there was an old man. "You look awfully familiar…" I said simultaneously to his he wink and thumbs up. He pointed into the fiery sky and I saw

 No.1159

Some kind of enormous inflated squirrel, drifting through the skies, and defecating

 No.1160

and cumming.

 No.1161

Great steamy wads, rushing toward the ground, and exploding with immense force. Each blast laying waste to the toybox world of CWCville. Scattering brightly coloured debris, and anthromorphised limbs.

 No.1162

I started to hold my posture in a disjointed fashion. Without making eye contact with anyone and mumbling something about diaper wearing baby male foxes under my breathe I ran towards the squirrel with all my might arms limp behind my back to increase my aerodynamics. I screamed REEEEEEEEEE DOUBLE JUMP and fell over while trying to slash at the squirrel with my nails. I started sweating and a brown smear appeared down my pant leg, moving slowly towards the ground. My blood taking full effect of the BANE mushroom I shouted to the squirrel "In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony FARSHNUKES blessing. But because, I am enlightened by my own intelligence." Suddenly the squirrel turned towards me.

 No.1165

Then it started to snow and I pulled out my bag of Colonel Sanders original recipe chicken, I keep it in a ziplock bag so it doesn't get everywhere when I want to eat it later.
The thing about bag chicken is it lets you keep from getting grease all over everything if, and only if, you remember to only use one hand on the chicken and use a wet nap to clean your fingers of chicken grease afterwards. However, with this snow I could now leave my bag chicken out to get chilled, thereby removing the grease from the chicken thanks to the transitive properties of cold plus original recipe chicken.
What I didn't plan on while cooling my chicken was

 No.1166

How suddenly fascinated I was by Doctor Who. Have you seen it? It's a wonderful programme. It chronicles the misadventures of an enigmatic outsider who travels time and space in a special ship called the TARDIS (that stands for Time And Relative Dimension In Space). It has been running since 1963, and the title character has been played by a variety of different actors. My favourite being acclaimed pantomime actor Colin Baker, who embodied the character in the mid to late nineteen eighties. I feel he really brought a distinct alien otherness to the role, that I identify with as someone who doesn't understand social boundaries or women. And this brings me to my next point

 No.1167

Russel T Davies fucking ruined Doctor Who! He took what was once eccentric and strange little cultural artifact, that seemed to uniquely understand the experience of autistic men such as myself, and he remolded it into something for women. FUCKING WOMEN! The absolute state of it now! It disgusts me! Women literally ruin everything, and need to be gatekept away from male spaces like science fiction and video games (perhaps through the utility of some kind of novel "gamer gate", but I digress), so that their sanctity might be preserved from the plague! From the infection of women!
I shouted to the skies with a passion I had never before known.

 No.1168

And as I did REEEEEEEE, I felt the power well up inside of me. The ground cracked and rumbled, and up thrust it's way through the soil a great cast iron head, followed by a strong and sturdy shaft. At first just one, but then another, and then another, until all across the broken landscape came my enormous black iron members. They criss-crossed, forming a mighty grid, or "gate" of sorts, and surrounded the great squirrel zeppelin. They tightened their grip until the behemoth was held fast and immobile.

 No.1169

The beast cried out in fury, and fired off enraged jets of projectile vomit and excreta, which erupted in a cacophony of impotent explosions, but it was to no avail. The "gamer gate" drew tighter, biting and cutting into the thing's mangy flesh, until it let out a final shrill yell, and then like a balloon, it simply burst, showering the landscape in a flood of raspberry ice cream flavoured gore.

 No.1170

The TROCARSHNUKE appeared. His form constantly morphing into different people every 10 seconds. "Youll notice I look different, maybe I changed my hair?" He said morphing into my mother. "I have become every person you have ever known. Strike me down and you strike them down instead. Wiping them from history." He continued morphing into Gerzo, the rebellion leader of Bakkkus. "I hope you can see the implications." He started to walk towards me.

 No.1171

I didn't really get it, so I summoned up an iron cock, and blasted it into his face.

 No.1172

He morphed into a homeless black man. "Get it now punk? You just obliterated him from history! You murderer! Fiend! Vile! No!" I grinned and conjured an even bigger Iron Dick.

 No.1173

"You disgust me with your patriarchal symbolism!" he spat

 No.1174

He transformed into the President of Earth, an elderly, orange skinned, repitilian and threw himself onto my newe, sharper iron cock, btfoing himself. "Perhaps you DO have your uses." He grinned.

 No.1175

The sky turned purple, his face thrust into mine invading every bit of privacy I deserved, "do you have a gag reflex son?"

 No.1176

Oh no. He had taken the form of my father.

 No.1177

Before we go on, perhaps a short word on my father.
He was born one Alistair Marquis Dr Mosley. Heir to a family of moderately successful merchant fishermen. He had a slight deformity on the third toe of his right foot, which no one ever noticed but himself. He enjoyed the music of Abba, and for fun he would play board games. Perhaps Scrabble or Guess Who. When he was in a bad mood, which was most days, my father liked to hit me.

 No.1178

"I want you to know that in my mind I have a picture, a picture only I know of, whether personal or significant, nobody else knows what this picture is in my head. I will carry it to my grave never giving this idea to anyone else, but I do have this picture I carry in my mind. No matter what you try in your life you will never guess my picture, you will never know."
So I knew there was no step I could take that would get me closer to him, my father. Was he forever confounding to me because I didn't know the full picture? The reality was afterwards I was left with the sloughed off skin of our relationship dripped over me, it's gray pallor now the color of my life.
But what luck, he appears to be back.

 No.1183

"Father…" I said in soft, low voice. "Does he have ginger hair?"

 No.1184

"No!" Shouted my father, and pelted me with a loose handful of bait. "Try harder, you impudent dullard!"
"Glasses then? Maybe he wears glasses?"
My father struck me with the blunt end of his fisherman's harpoon.
"Father, please! I'm sorry! I just can't do it. I can't guess who!"

 No.1186

It reminded me of Greg, from America. Greg would always find some object like a chair and pretend to hump it, everyone would start clapping, then he'd yell: "I'm the king of chair-fucking." Everyone would hoot and laugh and he'd find something else to hump and yell about his royal powers to hump that thing.
Or maybe it reminded me of Felix, he'd take long objects and pretend they were his dick and when people took notice he'd yell "hey, I'm banana dick" if it was a banana or "hey, I'm TV tray dick" if he had grabbed a TV tray and used it as a phallus.
Or Barry who would pretend to be shitting things and, well, you get my drift about these Americans and how they pretended things were other things to great applause.

 No.1189

But the Fathershnuke caught me trying to narratively escape into irrelevant wistful memories again, and he struck me with his fisherman's pole. I screamed, nautically, as my father sang a sea shanty, and started to climb the rigging.

 No.1190

I opened my paw and a crow flew out from my wrist just then. I was crying and my fursuit was beginning to soak with the tears of a thousand lonely nights. How could I know? How could I ever know the embrace of a woman, when all I could think about was how much I wanted to blast fat ropes into a vaporeon? A fictional creature? I turned away from the mizzenmast, no longer intereseted in continuing the charade.

 No.1191

I felt the sadness. The sadness of one born into the wrong body. One born into the wrong world. Then sadness turned to frustration. To rage. I beat my shaking fists on the ground. That hotness welling up inside of me, and sounds that I couldn't identify erupting from deep within. I cursed the heavens that bore me, and I reached out to rend existence itself.

 No.1192

I grasped the Fathershnukes neck and pressed firm, raising him into the air. Tears rolling down my eyes knowing this would be the one way to end my existence as I knew it. Tighter and tighter I clenched but I felt no lifeforce leaving my body. The Fathershnuke collapsed to the ground limp like a ragdoll. He transformed again into a blue gaseous mass. "It would appear the cat is out of the bag now, your mother was a whore. Your pseudo father a cuckold. Now you can begin your quest to find your real father, if thats the path you choose." the Farshnukes voice was inside my head.

 No.1193

"Farshnuke" I asked. "How do you cope with all of this autism?"

 No.1194

"Reginald, I am this autism" he said

 No.1195

I suddenly realized I was hallucinating, heavy drugs, can't remember what, or for that matter, when. Farshnuke's chest burst forth and outpoured gargantuan dwarves that began chanting in unison with the rhythm of the pulsations of my prosthetic cock. Screams came from somewhere, and I started siezing as the waves of warm nascence washed over my being, reborn in pale mauve colors.

 No.1196

File: 1614133321215.jpg (71 KB, 1600x900, 16:9, 180828043530-louis-ck-surp….jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

It was then the big black steed came into the room, his gargantuan pulsating horse cock throbbing with excitement as he approached me. As I laid on the floor a mix of dread and anticipation came over me, enough to stimulate my limp, curled, feminine penis for what was about to happen.

"And you are?" I asked meekly.

"Nuffin. Dindu Nuffin, of the Kangs tribe."

 No.1198

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

 No.1200

, the obsidian buck expelled into my face. My heart sank. I knew what was coming next. My fetish for braps had been reported to the high counsel, and now this sculpted, stiff bull was there to deliver the designated punishment.

 No.1201

I raised the autism shields

 No.1211

But I kept eating eggs, my pockets were full of them, hard -boiled, soft-boiled, it was all eggs for me and, sadly, all braps for my big black bull.

 No.1212

SUDDENLY

 No.1213

The closed circuit monitor above my bed turned on. As static and white noise gave way to a stabilized image, a shadowy figure made his way into the frame. The silhouette on screen was sitting in a profiled view, making apparent a large hooked nose and pointy ears.

 No.1214

It was an Indian elephant

 No.1215

Count Chocula. Out of all the scary breakfast cereal mascots he was the only one I couldn't kill. His belligerence knew no bounds but I thought I had shaken him off my trail. Apparently this quest had made me an easy target for one of General Mills finest.

 No.1216

"look" said the elephant in the room. "I think we can all agree that no one knows what's going on anymore"

 No.1217

and then a skeleton popped out

 No.1218

The Farshnuke was clearly more powerful than I expected, using my past against me, but it was all mwntal masturbation. I knew the truth

 No.1221

"Open your mouth, baby," a voice called out from a distant place, "you've got something stuck in your teeth."

 No.1222

"Count Chocula, please stop"

 No.1223

WE

 No.1224

LIVE

 No.1225

IN

 No.1226

A

 No.1227

I promptly shot Count Chocula before he could finish his epic meme

 No.1228

Sadly Count Chocula could not be killed by conventional means, he had been living with AIDS for decades at this point.

 No.1229

And there was no way I could stop him from uttering the final word of his terrible incantation.

 No.1232

He straightened out, and stood at his full chocovampiric height.
"We live in a dream. A collective autistic hallucination. A screaming whirlwind of pants shitting mental illness. None of this is real, or is it? Maybe it's all real. Realer than real. Maybe when you're all gone, all that will remain is this. This screeching, squealing, dirty crapped briefs inducing pit of creativity and destruction that lies somewhere inside and beyond, that man must be careful not to drink of too deeply, lest he know himself in full, and live in a society"

 No.1233

With the dull utterance of those last, terrifying words, the Count's face twisted into a ghoulish grin, and he held his hands up, near his chest. With one hand he made to grasp the pale, papery skin of the thumb of the opposing hand. Giving a short chuckle, he gave a sudden jerk, and it appeared he had torn his thumb clean off.

I was dumbstruck, and I could feel my sanity rapidly slipping away as he chortled to himself gleefully, as he repeated the movements, over and over. I was uncertain of what he was attempting to accomplish, but the damage had been done.

 No.1236

Then suddenly, a BBC appeared.

 No.1237

It was BBC4

 No.1238

They were playing a documentary on textiles in the industrial revolution, but I didn't have the time to watch it. I had to

 No.1239

prepare for my seppukku.

 No.1240

File: 1614615711196.png (44.28 KB, 200x194, 100:97, yakuza.png) ImgOps iqdb

In a sense, it was high time for me to…leave forever.

 No.1241

File: 1614628885581.webm (3 MB, 1154x650, 577:325, jav kino.webm) ImgOps iqdb

A ghostly apparition of Zekariah called out to me from the staircase, "Itterashai," and waved goodbye.

 No.1242

suddenly

 No.1243

I pressed the blade into my skin after taking the ceremonial position, there was a sharp pain then unimaginable pain as my guts just burst out of the hole to escape my fat fuck body. It opened like the first moments of a race, internal organs all finding their way out front in the raucous explosion.
It reminded me of when I was on that boat-shaped thing in the water, traveling half-way across the world to stop a breakfast cereal mascot from promoting enforced-homosexuality.

 No.1244

In an instant I was there, as if thrown backward in time by some unseen force, and perhaps, I had been.
Shifting m gaze I found myself surrounded by members of my own family, who I had not noticed prior, yet they were different, dressed as different people. Familiarity crept into my mind, and I could not shake that I knew them as these different people, et they were the same as I knew them before.
Reeling from the confusion, I searched the room for a mirror, and shock hit me as I stared into the soulless eyes within the reflection.

As if by impulse, the lingering words escaped my grasp, and my tongue worked of its own accord, "…hehehehe, Lois, look, I'm in somebody else's skin, but it's me."

 No.1245

Yep I had become black Superman, same as white superman but I was paid 50% less and was never on time. Also I had a terrible credit situation so everything was in Lois's name.
But there I was surrounded by my family: Big Mama Kent, Lois, my main bitch, Lana, my side bitch, and my friend Eurkel.

 No.1246

A voice broke the silence
"NOW WAIT A GOT DANG MOMENT. SUPERMAN'S ARMS, OR THE REST OF HIM FOR THAT HECKING MATTER ARE NOT DANG DIDDLY BROWN!?!?"
A shimmering form forced it's way through the flimsy plasterboard door. It's image was unstable somehow, like the picture of an old television set fighting the interference of a powerful magnet, but the being's identity was unmistakable. It was Chris, Christine, the hedgehog man man not man hedgehog thing. He, she, it was back.
"Bout time you showed up, you autistic fuck." I said. "I'm a black Superman now. This is getting out of hand"

 No.1247

There was a gay oil that encompassed everything, I couldn't really fight it, "how fo you want to, faggot faggot faggot, help me escape?"
He pulled down his drawers and showed me his butthole.

 No.1248

Without hesitation, I plunged my super nigger fist deep inside of it.

 No.1251

And pulled out

 No.1252

File: 1614740738773.jpg (96.5 KB, 626x480, 313:240, blackdolphin.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

AND NOW YOU'RE IN BLACK DOLPHIN PRISON

 No.1253

I had little time to catch my bearings, and what I could sense without eyes told me I was in peril.
My sight adjusted slowly, though I pleaded with myself to never see or feel at all, for when I finally came to understand what the ceaseless pounding within me symbolised, it was all I could do to shut the heavy lids closed.
I awaited in morbid anticipation, the slick, black memories taking root in the devil's garden of my mind's eye. It was going to be just like one of my japanese adult comic books, and my mind's eye was not the only portal which would be so deeply penetrated.

 No.1255

I remembered when I was first out of the academy, pulled to a unit under his command, the Captain. He would train is to be better, of you were a part of Captain Crunch's regiment there would be no slacking, no giving up, and no tricks, because tricks were for kids.

 No.1256

And kids are for fucking

 No.1257

>>1256
Smol human

 No.1258

MEANWHILE

 No.1259

The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. They have greatly increased the life expectancy of those of us who live in "advanced" countries, but they have destabilized society, have made life unfulfilling, have subjected human beings to indignities, have led to widespread psychological suffering (in the Third World to physical suffering as well) and have inflicted severe damage on the natural world. The continued development of technology will worsen the situation. It will certainly subject human beings to greater indignities and inflict greater damage on the natural world, it will probably lead to greater social disruption and psychological suffering, and it may lead to increased physical suffering even in "advanced" countries.

 No.1260

Said uncle Ted to the

 No.1261

chillins.
With that, he opened his magical sack and pulled out a plate of chicken and waffles, slathered in syrup, and began munching away at the morsels.

"MUNCH" "MUNCH" "MUNCH"

He munched and munched and munched.

 No.1262

"Witness" said uncle Ted, between hearty mouthfuls. "these are the products of industrial society. Witness the decadence. How FAT and STICKY they make uncle Ted. Oh-hoh-hoh! Someone will have to take these things away from uncle Teddy!"
"Uncle Ted" spoke a small boy. "I'm hungry too".
"Oh? Then come, take this produce from my greedy hands, but beware!. They may be… Consequences"

 No.1263

In the wilderness a man would come to his own devices, a bike to travel to town, a shake one could build purchased in pieces from the Whole Earth catalog, and a sense of freedom to escape from a world of computers that, as per logic of the sixties, would lead us from an age of lucidity to gibberish.
His first goals were to set about placing his traps, now I will tell you about them in detail.
The small ones would fold up into themselves, metal skeletons that opened to boxes and could have bait applied with doors just-so as to capture the sneaking rodents and critters.
Yes, Uncle Ted loved critters now, he imagined himself as he armed his traps for the days ahead as possibly in the top 15% of those who loved critters. There were tribal people, small pockets of men who could live via the old ways and often did to escape the tyranny of the Yankee dollar, and yet this brand of man, now including Uncle Ted who was doing this all for himself, now included him.
It was critters he was after with the 14 small traps, but now we need to speak of the larger traps, to clear the air they were made of iron and steel and when prepared would-after a pressure plate was activated, crashed down on the animal and held them via chain to a nearby tree. If Ted couldn't check these traps often enough the critters might pass away from lack of food and the wound getting infected.
No, he needed to check these traps daily, like the others, as he hiked his critter-filled woods with his braining stick.
Again it must be stated he chose this life to ignore the ultimate future of mankind, now itself plugged into a trap much too complicated to ever be pulled out from. Pike an animal human society would get sick, it would suffer malnutrition of the soul, and nobody was going to arrive and offer a braining stick like Uncle Ted.
Or would they?

 No.1265

In any case, it was 4 o'clock, and time for Teddy-bear's daily fur-shower.
Rechecking his traps and assuring himself they were set and ready to bring in more 'furiends', Teddy-doodle hefted himself up, with some effort, picked up his stick and backpack and headed home on his favorite trail, past his old furiend, the bear of the forest, and his hidey-hole.

 No.1266

Just then, Ted took a sniff.

 No.1267

And he uttered those words he would go down in history for saying:

 No.1269

fuck dick poopy woop poop shoop big black catcus in my bum bum booger spit diahreah poopies lol

 No.1271

That's when a naked Arnold Schwarzenigger teleported in from the future with his warning for Uncle Doctor Ted.

 No.1272

"UNGLE DED BLEAZE WAID! VING ABOWD WAD YOO ARR DOING! IV YOO BLOV UP DE INDOOSDRIAL SOZIDEDY, I VILL NAT BE ABUL DO BLAY NEENDENDO SWEEDCH WID MY MEGZIKAN OUSEWIVE'S ZON"

 No.1273

"Arnold, Arndolnald, Arlan. Tsk, tsk tsk," went the moist lips of Uncle Ted, "it's too late for your kind, King Lordna, and there's a change in the winds. Soon, it will be time and we will come to power, me and my furry friends. Your mexican housewives cannot compete."
Theodore finishes this statement with a nod and a wink, and quietly lets his bowels release beneath him.

 No.1275

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Ted gleefully ripped one in the Austrian's faggot face. The sheer force of Ted's brap was enough to expunge a gassy ooze that poured over Arnold.

 No.1278

The braaps continued. A mighty tsunami of braap. All across the nation, electricity transformers exploded, motor vehicles melted into the earth, factories burst into flame. The Soyboys of Silicon Valley had barely looked up from their vegan lunches, when the flesh was stripped from their bones. The world trade center collapsed, completely unplanned, which was a big surprise to the government, who still hadn't planned to do it for a year or two. Not that they got to enjoy that surprise for long, before they all spontaneously combusted. The conniving rat creatures of the banking cartel were suddenly distracted from their daily ritual child sacrifice, when an angry mob of online conspiracy theorists, who had finally managed to put down the bongs and stop playing video games for five minutes, burst into the chamber and tore the devils limb from limb. They say on that day, uncle Teddy brapped so hard he took out the entire infrastructure of the United States, once and for all bringing an end to the American empire.
That was three hundred years ago, give or take.

 No.1279

My horse trod lightly, careful to avoid the broken glass and rusted debris that had once been part of that world. They say the people of the past called these sad lumps "cors". Hell if I knew what they were for, or why elder folk was so fond of em. All I know is I don't want my horse up and injuring itself, stranding me out here, four days aways from people.
My Name's Jerret, red faced Jerret, the albino bandito, The sunburnt kid, and I got

 No.1280

Ted sat in the cabin, drink of water sitting in the sunlight the open door allowed.
I was like him, watching a glass of water as it evaporated out of my glass, it was a holy thing. Imagine the water, communal but a single drop slides up and down the glass as you drink, it awaits the evaporation.
The sun, or other eligible warmth instruments frees it from its molecular bonds and it releases the oxygen and hydrogen into the air. A break, a holy thing done by God and not these unholy Schwarzeniggers or whatever the higher ups attempt to format us with, the oxygen floats into the atmosphere unlike the rest of the glass tossed into dirty by a tree hoping to feed its need for photosynthesis.
Atmosphere to upper atmosphere this oxygen rides to the upper atmosphere and off to space where everything has less than 90% atmosphere thanks to gravity.
She escapes, again this is a holy thing humans don't totally control yet, and she rises to some other world I might not ever know anything about but she must land somewhere so it's out there.
I think about Ted and where it all went before I answer Jarret and give him a fake name, I'm not yet ready to evaporate out of this world, I'm still clinging to the glass.

 No.1281

And I got sunstroke

 No.1282

My heart was winding down, I was unable to cope with the heavy parka and several pairs of gloves I had worn, I was forced to admit that, perhaps, it was a bad idea.
I tumbled to the ground, face up like an obese turtle on its back.
Ted stood from his rocking chair and stepped off his elaborately laid out porch, hewn granite, pure gold trim. I wondered to myself, but quickly lost the road.

 No.1283

I lay there for a moment of two, my skin turnin to blister under the sun, til somethin stepped in, shielding me from the light. He loomed over me, a look of tired annoyance in his leathered face. He looked different to I expected.
"What do you want?" Said Ted, that man who had once shit the world into ruin.

 No.1284

"water" I said, too tired to say any more.

 No.1287

"This is the point at which some wise guy types that I piss in your mouth" said Ted. "They think that's really funny".
I uttered a vague noise of confusion, but could manage no more. I was beginning to pass out as Ted dragged me into his magical desert oasis.

 No.1288

"So I been thinking" said Ted "All of this post modern shit's kind of cringe, isn't it? Woah, look at me, breaking the fourth wall like hecking Deadpool or something. And woah, I'm totally violating traditional narrative rules. Holy Jesus, what's going to happen next?!?! That nigger can't even spell words right, this is CURAAAAAYZEE!. Drink your mead, the fairies made it. So here I am, Theodore Kaczynski, the fucking unabomber or something, and I'm in my magical desert oasis, communing with the ancestral spirits, and that's kind of wacky. That's kind of cute, I suppose. Domestic terrorism juxtaposed with fantasy, or maybe it's just shit. Maybe it's fucking Reddit, and I don't even know what Reddit is, because I'm Ted Kaczynski. Maybe I ought to be part of a proper story, only I can't be because people just don't got the skill or the confidence to try. You're some kind of wicky wacky albino cowboy. Woah, it's like the El Topo or something. Kind of borderline avant garde artsy fuck off. Grate my ass! Why don't you do a big poo on the floor? I bet your art school friends would love that one. Transgressive, woah! So anyway, how's the mead?"

 No.1290

At the word 'mead', Ted grunts in climax, and ejaculates into a water bottle. Handing me the bottle, he tells me, "Drink up, kid, it'll help your sicknes."
I looked at him with soem incredulity, but tipped the bottle to my lips and hesitantly sipped at the teet.
I immediately heard a stifled chortling emitting from Ted, who, turning away, mimicked a few coughs and made a loud screaming noise, before returning to his position facing me.

 No.1291

"Y'know it was all factories round here once. Far as eye could see"
I wondered what a factory was.

 No.1292

But it weren't the time for that. My thoughts were comin' back in focus now that I had quenched my thirst, an' I remembered why I had needed to come here. Why I had come seekin' Ted, the oracle of the Chicago sands.

 No.1293

"I need someone to guide me to the bunker," I said with a big fag smile hoping he might brush my teeth with his daddy dick.

 No.1294

His eye's narrowed "what's a one like you want with that bunker?"

 No.1296

"In case tvchan ever goes down, of course."

 No.1297

"What's a tvchan? Kid's still delirious."

 No.1298

>>1296
So began the journey, a dickless journey without any daddy dick because of course, but he would help sherpa me down the mountain into the crater where he said the tvchan true believers had survived the great war.
Eventually we reach the giant metal doors with a console one might click to gain access to a mic directly with the apostates controlling the door.
"KShhhhh" the voice over the speaker said providing their own static, "what is the password?"
"Ksheeee," Ted began, "I want to cut off these whore's heads like Gahoole, kill kill kill, kill the cunts, bloody, debased, senseless cunts attached to fruitless bodies, we kill because we know what's right and we must just kill, kill kill, all of this is satire."
I waited for the bunker to respond. Surprised the password wasn't more racist.

 No.1299

"… Wrong password, nigger"

 No.1300

Ted spat into my mouth in disgust, shouldered my out of the way and proceeded to rifle through his duffle bags in search of something. His grumbles could be heard over the soft shifting of the sandy grit that surrounded us.

 No.1301

"Aha!" announced Ted, and pulled out a

 No.1302

a hirquiticke's chalice, or bone zone for those less knowledgeable in these things.

 No.1305

Then he tossed that aside, and pulled out the key to the door.

 No.1306

He attempted to turn the door's handle only to find that his cum-covered fingers were too slippery.

 No.1307

Industrial society had foiled him again

 No.1309

"HARK, THERE ON THE HORIZON," Ted abruptly screeched. I was momentarily reminded of a small chimp I had befriended in my youth.

Off in the distance could be seen a cactus and some sort of rust coloured cloud, gradually approaching our position. I steadied myself, while Ted removed from his bags a large rifle, cobbled together from various bits and pieces he had clearly scavenged from the robo-shitwastes.

 No.1310

On the strained edge of my hearin' I heard a disturbance. Quiet at first, but then louder. the rumblin' sound of comin' hooves.

 No.1311

DUDE

 No.1313

Echoed the war cry

 No.1314

And I watched in horror as that striking hairdo come into sight. "Lord Chad…" I gasped.

 No.1318

There looked to be no less than three tens of em. Lord Chad, and his marauder Kings. And they was comin' our way. Ted steadied his aim, sweatin' now quite profusely from the brow. He took the first shot a cactus exploded into spines an cactus juice.
"Damn!"
He took another shot. The bulgin' arm of the King to Chad's left burst like a carbunkle, an he fell from his horse, but the gang kept ridin' on, not even stopin' to look back.
Ted was more shakes than man now. He took the third shot, explodin' the knee of he horse to Chef's right. The horse tumbled an fell, takin' out four more men behind, but Chad hardly seemed ruffled. As a matter of fact, he looked impressed.
"Shit!" Said Ted "No more bullets", an he cast aside the ramshackle repeater.
We were gonna have to reason with Chad

 No.1320

We stood there, and waited. Not much else we could do. We couldn't outrun thee stampeding horses, if we tried. We were at their mercy now. Ted wiped the sweat from his brow, and took a swig of who knows what from his medicine man flask, then slumped down onto the sandy ground. I stood my ground. Figured I'd like to die on my feet, if at all. I swallowed hard, and made my peace, as the stampede approached.
They stopped some 20 or so paces away from us, thankfully not opting to trample us into the dirt. Chad hopped down from his horse, and began to approach.
"Haha! that was some sick shooting, baby! You're insane!" He yelled, pointing to Ted in a gesture of recognition. "Why you shoot my Kings though? lol. Ah, who cares, you seem alright! The fuck you doin' out here?" He laughed.

 No.1331

"Young Sunburn here, wants in that bunker" Said Ted, who was now lyin' flat out on the sands, with his straw hat coverin' his face.
"SHIIIIIT, THAT'S CRAY! WE WERE GOING TO THE BUNKER TOO!" said Chad, slappin' me so hard on the back I almost took a tumble. "Oh, but you just shot the guy who knew how to get in. Bummer."

 No.1333

And so, the group stood for a moment pondering on how to enter the bunker so sealed, until suddenly, a moment of inspiration stuns one of the kings.
Easily hefting his own massive hand, he presses it against the steel door of the bunker and, with a twitch of his nose, he begins vibrating rapidly, increasingly faster as the moments passed.
Soon enough, he was vibrating so fast, that his physical form passed straight through the door itself. Mere seconds later, a scuffle could be discerned from inside and several shots rang out, then, all was silent. The door creaked open.

 No.1342

I peered in.

 No.1349

Before me a great screen was caught between two sheer stone faces. Upon it I could see, projected from some unseen place, a black light.
As I watched, one of the kings came to stand beside me.
From the very horizon of the screen, stamped violently into the blackness, numerous white letters began their crawl up the skin, sharing my own sentiment as I began to realize what was occurring.

 No.1356

"AY YO, WASSON THAT SCREEN?" shouted a King from the back

 No.1359

It was Ted's arche-enemy: Sherlock Holmes. He was on the screen, subtitles appearing because he was eating a peach and talking at the same time.

 No.1360

"Nyeeees, I thought you'd find me here, Teddy baby…"

 No.1362

>>1360
"Mmmm, yeees, come into my boudoir. Have an After Eight mint chocolate, darliiiing" Said Sherlock Holmes, gaily,
"Don't fuck me around!" said Ted "You're not fucking Sherlock Holmes. Sherlock Holmes is a fictional character, and he's not gay either. Who is this?"

 No.1363

The pitcher of Sherlock Holmes shimmered out like a mirage, and was aplaced a large, middle aged man, sportin' a mustache, and wearin' a tiger costume.
"Very well. My name is Reginald Alexander Mosely, and I am trapped in a space between spac-"
But I didn't care about all that. I didn't come all the way to this here bunker to watch television, dang it. I took my chance to slip away from the crowd, and started down the corridor to the left

 No.1364

I passed each sign in rhythm to the sound of the metal fan blades that drew air into the bunker's lower depths.
"Ibex cocks…panther dicks…frog phalluseses," they went on for what seemed like miles. I felt I was in a dangerous place, but I was going to watch that television, no matter the cost.

 No.1368

I really wanted to watch that episode of Sopranos where they are cracking safes for Chris and that one guido keeps shitting on the floor. I still don't get what that was all about.

 No.1370

Also, I've never seen the Sopranos, and don't know what it is.

 No.1372

Coming here, coming there. Coming high, coming low, he came. Down the corridor he came. Dancing and prancing like a moth in lamplight

 No.1374

It was Jangles McGambles the pixie of the prose, the goblin of the page, and he was disco jivin' toward me, flared pants a'swingin' and ginger perm bobbin'

 No.1376

"Well now, how do, Salty Sam?" McGambles posed as he twisted about, "last you were around these parts, I heard you was lookin' for a might bit o' trouble! You better watch your back, I tells ya!"
I scanned the area for anything solid, with which to club this ape.

 No.1377

He was right, I was Samuel Clemmens and it was time for my big speech.
"Well, howdy do, tootin too rigger roo and you too, my crew and I have cone from Hell, which I say, dare me, I say I didn't think existed but then I went and approached its burning flames and had a fecundity placed over me.
"For like that bumpass frog I wrote about I was here to jump far away from this a here, I say, this a here a mechanism. I do say.
"And it was in that terrible incriminating place I traded my child passengers for a safe passage out on my air ship. I do declare."

 No.1383

"Shucks, and b'gum."

 No.1387

Not real, acourse, but you have to play the game with Jangles McGambles.

 No.1398

File: 1616931604842.png (66.5 KB, 246x185, 246:185, ltgpalantir.png) ImgOps iqdb

DIS NIGGA WOKE UP WITH STANDING -FUCKIN- FIERCE A-GAIN?! A-FUCKIN-GAIN! GOD -DAMN- I HATE THESE BITCH ASS CHORIZO-SLURPEAN TEX-MEX GUILE MAINS! BITCH ASS NIGGA PUT DIS KINDA SONIC BOOMIN EAN2 SPEED-CLEARIN YA FUCKIN' LAWN ITINERARY, STOOP-TO-WOOP MODELO ABUELOS!

GET THAT MEXICAN ASS CONNECTION BANNED THE FUCK OUT MY LIVE BITCH ASS NIG-GER!

 No.1399

Nigged McGambles

 No.1400

But I knew better. Chorizo is fucking delicious, and makes anything it's added to that much better.
"Fuck Abigail Shapiro, but most of all, fuck niggers that don't like chorizo," I say.
Satisfied with my own interpretations, I fired several rounds into McGambles' torso, before turning the gun on myself.

 No.1408

And inhaling the gunsmoke, in the ritual of my tribe

 No.1411

McGambles seemed impressed by my mastery of the ritual, and he danced a queer jig, dandelion and burdock pouring from the holes in his torso, and forming fragrant puddles all over the corridor.
"OH!, What a feast for the May Queen!"

 No.1412

"and the best of wishes to all of you reading at home. May your dreams be manifest, and your lineage be fruitful"
He shot a wink over my left shoulder, aimed at no one in particular.

 No.1416

But that got me thinkin'; just what were my dreams? I live one day to the next, eatin' skwerl n coon, n passin' out from heatstoke, shootin' up raper gangs an boilin' up pennies. Gettin' with cheap whores and drinkin' potato wine. Just where was I headed in this lackadaisy world? And just what in this bunker did I really come here lookin' for?

 No.1417

I felt sick, and the bile spewing forth from my pus glands was only confirmation that something was amiss. I suddenly had a realization.
"Wait a minute… pus glands?" I spoke aloud.
McGambles had a big fat grin wrenched onto his face, and was stifling laughter as I quickly took stock of myself.
"What's-a matter, pardner? Feeling a little lightheaded? Shouldn't of inhaled so much gunsmoke, that stuff's laced with pure Neo-Texas opium!"
My vision had begun to warp and twist and I was fast becoming incapable of bowel control. What was going on? I looked back, around my rotund shoulder, and saw Ted there, alone on a see-saw. He stared back as he jumped into the air and slowly came back down.
"You fffffffffffucked up kiiiiiiiiiiiid…" his words came out in wet blankets drawn across my own teeth and lost in the ether, "…now you'll neeeeeeeeeeeever see those Sopraaaanooooooos…"
I strained to return looking forward, as McGambles just then had turned into Sneed, from the famous scene in that ancient cartoon, the Simps. As he formed the first syllable of 'formerly', I dropped out, engulfing my consciousness in warm black.
"He has escaped the simulation," came a droning voice from somewhere, or nowhere.

 No.1418

Darkness. Then a singular point of light. An eye, then several of them. Cold and beady, and studying me with clinical intrigue. Segmented feelers twitched, and mandibles clicked. A long and barbed limb reached out, and lightly stroked my cheek. It's sensation like dry, rough wood. I tried to find the appropriate emotion, but found it out of reach. I tried to recall who, or what I was, but drew a blank. I searched for a name to identify these looming figures. "Mantis". There were four of them. Much taller than I, though I couldn't say how tall I was. And they had chosen me.

 No.1419

Something in my dreams, my thought patterns, my expressed essence, had called to them from across the void, and they had come, like bloodhounds drawn to my ethereal scent.

 No.1420

"Level Q dreamer" said the Mantis touching my face. "And level V ego. Rare" it's voice coming through in a low drone, like a supermarket intercom, with just a hint of a Spanish accent.
"Separate an instance" spoke the Mantis to the right. "It may be enough to unstick that blockage in the lower emanation".
"The autistic aberration" interjected another, who had just started paying attention.
"Yes, whether law or anarchy win the day, the energy must flow free. That is all that concerns us".
The four joined limbs, and began a chant or a chime, antennae twitching energetically. A piece of what I was rose up out of me, and then I wasn't what I was. I was two.
"The higher we send to the Mosley. The lower, back to it's material body".

 No.1423

Then there was a rushing sensation, an a burst of light, an I was back in the corridor, an my accent was back. That was good at lest.
I was greeted to the sight of Ted's bulgin' eyes an weathered face, as he shook me to wakin'.
"What were you thinking, boy!? It's never safe to tangle with Jangles McGambles!"

 No.1424

I felt dif'rent now. Somehow lighter. An I suddenly felt I was quite about done with dank corridors and tight spaces. Like my purpose here had been achieved, even though I never seen that Sopranos (whatever that is). I yearned for the wide outdoors, an sunburn on my achin' face. Maybe I'd go my own way now, or maybe I'd see if the Kings had a space going in their posse, since they was now several men short. All opportunities were open to me, an if somethin' much more interestin' and cosmically important was happenin' just out of sight, well, I didn't mean much to me now.

 No.1428

Instead, I was beset with a more pressing issue: how to escape the bunker without disturbing the stools.

 No.1429

They had crept up on me while I was aslumber. Great carnivorous stools.

 No.1430

They squelched and belched.

 No.1431

They writhed and jived.

 No.1432

But holy fuck did they slink and slither.

 No.1433

I loaded up my six shooter, as Ted pulled a meat tenderizer from his satchel.

 No.1434

With great vigor, Ted began tenderizing his own meat, the metal bludgeoning device flying at rapid speeds. His cock nearly exploded, creating a mist of red blood and spongy bits of flesh. I was certain his screams could be heard from miles away, and for a moment, I thought I could see a single tear in his left eye.

 No.1435

"Here's lookin' at you, kid" he said

 No.1440

One last pummel, an he hit the sub-dermal charge, hidden in his scrote.

 No.1449

And then, another brap in the wind.

 No.1450

And Ted Kaczynski Was no more. I bolted down the corridor like a mad man, as the flames licked at my back, takin' pot shots here and there at lurchin' rabid stools, hungry for my albinoid blood.

 No.1453

One stool made a leap for my jugular. It's razor like stool teeth was the last thing I saw, fore I blew them out the back of it's ass with my shooter.

 No.1459

Then Edgar turned himself into a pickle.

 No.1462

An if I were in less of a hurry, I might have wondered who Edgar was.

 No.1469

the end

 No.1470

of the corridor rapidly approached, and I kicked my way through those double doors

 No.1472

when SUDDENLY

 No.1473

I fell, face first into the muscled buttocks of Chad King.

 No.1474

They was so tight, I bounced right off an hit the deck. Chad glanced down at me.
"Hey, wondered where you'd got to. What happened to the old guy?"
"Blew up. Fightin' stools" I choked, gatherin' my breath.
We gave a moment's silence to Ted's memory, though somehow I doubted the immortal oracle of the Chicago sands was really gone.
All around, the Kings were busily clearin' the bunker of all valuables.

 No.1475

They took rugs and mugs

 No.1479

They took tins and bins

 No.1481

, they swiped chits 'n bits

 No.1485

, and they plundered wonders.

 No.1486

And treasures by the hoard, from lands far abroad. Like pants from France, and geese from Greece.

 No.1487

Meanwhile, Dup was

 No.1488

blown the fuck up

 No.1489

and BLOWN THE FUCK OUT of

 No.1490

Niggers

"Hey, stop all that rhyming." said Chad King
"Fair enough" I said.

 No.1491

That's when I shit my pants. I let a pookie dookie in my pants, and some of it got on my ding dong, so I had to pay a visit to the ching chong to get it cleaned up. But she put my pookie dookie in a chest drawer and said something in ching chong. I brained her and left with some of her scalp in my zipper back exactly where I left off before I made a little baby me in my pants that stank real bad.

 No.1492

"Right, knock off all that stinky dinky" said Chad King.
"Fair enough" I said.

 No.1497

"soooooo" I said to the Chad of the Kings "where will you go now, with all o'this loot?"

 No.1499

"Moseying on down to Neo Texas to trade the best of it on the open market, and offer the worst of it as tribute to the Baron."

 No.1503

SUDDENLY

 No.1504

I politely asked Chad if I might join his posse

 No.1505

SUDDENLY

 No.1506

Chad accepted

 No.1507

SUDDENLY

 No.1508

THE

 No.1509

The landscape morphed as if it was no longer a world of 4 or 5 dimensions but of 8, suddenly circles amd semi-circles, moving seemingly incongruently yet not crossing each-other were here, I was just one more band of space moving effortlessly around an 8-D plane and inside a room I never saw before. I had been trapped for who knows how long merely in one place constantly trying to do, well whatever I had done in my life, but never had I escaped this room since I could see all former versions of myself here.
I attempted to sit down and think about this amid the classical gasses arranged in this place to create the universe and I didn't want to involve myself in them so I navigated to not connect with them and placed my bottom-ish on the concept of Thursday and rest my legs on British naval history. Curiouser and curiouser.

 No.1513

SUDDENLY

 No.1514

A Spanish vessel, off the port-ward bow.

 No.1518

I pull out my spy glass, and I see them. A crew of 7ft talls Spanish Mantids.

 No.1519

I yelled across the 8-dimensional seas hoping to harken the vessel, the mantid queen heard me and telepathically replied:

 No.1520

"Captain O'Hara O'Flannigan Dungus Delouze, surrender at once and your crew need not perish."

 No.1521

Why did they hunt me so relentlessly, these seven foot insects from Spain?

 No.1524

SUDDENLY

 No.1525

THE WALL

 No.1526

A great wall of water rose up to surround my vessel.

 No.1527

SUDDENLY

 No.1529

SUDDENLY

 No.1532

SUDDENLY

 No.1533

sud-denizens sudoku-kudasai doki-doki'd the MOAKY BOATIE!

 No.1534

i wish normalfags never discovered cuckime

 No.1536

Said Reginald Alexander Mosely, sadly to himself, as he sat atop his throne, dressed only in his soiled fursuit, drinking orange fanta from the skull of a Blake's 7 cosplayer.
How long had this autistic war raged now, he wondered. There was no conception of time in the Astral Plane. No one ever really aged, and death was more of a suggestion than a hard fact. He had made some gains recently when his ally the Red Titan had decimated the Farshnuke's squirrel shit munitions factory by quoting passages from the Unabomber Manifesto, but frankly Reginald was tired. He couldn't even remember why he had come here. He hadn't even seen the Farshnuke in so long, but still he felt his presence all around. He smelled his autistic scent… On second thoughts that might be the fursuit.

 No.1537

Mosely strode to the window of the throne room of this perfect replica of Ocarina of Time's Hyrule castle, that he currently called home.
He gazed out onto the shifting phantasmagoric landscape of the Astral Plane. About a mile east he saw New CWC city, where his on and off ally, the hedgehog beast currently resided. It was a child's idea of a city, made largely from lego and papier mache. towering above the the city skyline atop great ziggurats were crude statues of Sonic the Hedgehog, Pikachu, Peter Griffin, an old man called Bob, and countless OC characters who no one in their right mind should be able to identify. Mosely knew them all. There were a lot of things that Mosely now knew, like how to break a Gamecube controller in just the right way to cheat at Smash Bros Melee, and why Dragonball GT was actually the best one.
The great champion of the British Mega Empire reduced to this. What a world…
Looking West now, Mosely spied

 No.1538

The decimated expanse that had been the Farshnuke's industrial district. He could still smell the burnt raspberry scent left in the aftermath of last thursday's savage strike on the the Sylth milking facility. He saw the Red Titan walking aimlessly up and down his conquered patch, gleefully crushing any remaining Weresharks under his bungalow sized cowboy boots. Mosely didn't much trust the Red Titan.

 No.1541

"An escape is in order" thought Mosely. "Enough with this blasted place, and this blasted war" But how to leave? Passage to and from the Astral Plane is rare and fleeting. A portal may appear like a tear, as the landscape shifts, but then it quickly seals back up again. Only the Mantids seem to understand the exact science of divining when and where these openings will form, and we don't talk about the Mantids.

 No.1543















After a page break, Mosely stood on the outside. His escape was daring and harrowing, but now it was over and he was free.

"Well now what the bollocks do I do?" he wondered.

 No.1544

The world he had returned to was not his home, he realised now as he stared with horror at that desolate London street. The autistic assault on the Astral Plane had emanated outward. "as above, so below" as someone had once said. Standing before him, amid the burnt out cars and rubble was

 No.1545

A seven foot tall Mantis being.
"Mosely" it spoke in a suspiciously Spanish accent. "Why didn't you unstick the energy block in the lower emanation? You were supposed to unstick the energy block in the lower emanation. We are very upset."
"I don't know what the fuck that means!" yelled Mosely in defiance.
"We sent assistance. It was very clear what you were supposed t-"
"AAAAAAA! AAAAAAAAA! LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU'RE GIVING ME SENSORY OVERLOAD! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

 No.1546

>>1545
"Oi!" cried out a chav-like voice, "You got a loicense for dose psionics?!"

"Bleedin' 'ell, it's the bobbies," muttered the Mantid, "We'll finish this later, innit, Mosely."

The Mantid scuttled off into the night as dozens of London's finest chased after it with sticks. Well, there was one thing that hadn't changed about London.

 No.1547

"Oi Oi OI, Saveloy! What 'ave we got 'ere?" Mocked the Chav leader through a mouthful of White Lightning, his tobacco stained brown teeth glistening in the mid morning sun.
"It's one of them fuckin' animal shaggers innit, bruv. A fuckin' Furry, mate!" said the fatter Chav to his left, who currently had his hand burred deep in his questionably aged girlfriend's leggings, making little circle motions, as she gasped "ooh er, that's propa good that". Little flecks of vomit around her lips and a dazed look in her eye.

 No.1549

I made to clean them off with my mustache.

 No.1551

That's right "I", for I, the POV character Captain O'Hara O'Flannigan Dungus Delouze was back in the story, after my brief trip through the Mantids' dark dimension.
I chased off the young ruffians with my mustache, which I had waxxed to razor points, and then I made to greet Reginald.
"Hello" I said, laying a hand on his fursuited shoulder. "I'm from the 17th century."

 No.1552

Reginald glared at me with a look of utter weariness, and then he shat himself.

 No.1554

But as the stench wafted into my nasal cavities, I felt a deep sense of unese. This wasn't the familiar scent of Reginald's own shit. This was the fetid reek of squirrel shit!

 No.1555

>>1554
"IT'S NOT AL ANYMORE, IT'S-"

 No.1556

SPUNK
Spoke the miniaturised Farshnuke, that climbed out of Reginald's anus.

 No.1558

>>1556
"Spunkaccino?" asked Adam Sandler.

 No.1560

DON'T MIND EEF EYE COOM!

 No.1561

(((Adam Sandler))) narrowly manages to dodge the steaming hot spunkachino cum shot.

 No.1566

Chapter 8:
The Finale

"There were roughly 7000 more words required to make Reginald Alexander Mosely's memoirs (featuring interludes from Adolf Bahsar Gaddafi, "Red Faced" Jerret "the albino bandito" "the sunburnt kid", and Captain O'Hara O'Flannigan Dungus Delouze from the 17th century) reach the officially accepted length of a novel, as opposed to a novella, but how to get there?"
Pondered Pedro, the particularly attractive seven foot tall interdimensional Mantis creature, from Spain. The story had a nasty habit of petering out before conclusions could be reached. "Energy blockage on the lower emanation" mused Pedro. What could be done?

 No.1567

"Energy prune juice, m'lord?" suggested Lizard Bob Saget.

 No.1568

"Not now. Begone, Lizard Bob Sagart"
"I could send Edgar again" He thought "no… He would probably just turn into a pickle, and it would be absolutely hilarious, but it wouldn't get us any closer to our goal. Truly it is I who is in a pickle now."
Pedro relaxed in his arm chair, floating all alone in that black void. With a click of his antennae, he closed the windows he had been watching, monitoring the ongoing story. "Enough of that now" he thought, and lit up his pipe and sat a while thinking.
"Am I really from Spain?" he wondered. "Or did someone, somewhere in the cosmic scheme of things misspell the word "space". Well, never mind it. I like being from Spain. It gives me a certain ethnic spice I wouldn't have if I were simply a bug from space. Plus I'm not really from space, am I? Not space space. Not stars and meteors space. I'm from a space, as we all are, though my space is a black void that hangs beyond the rest of existence, but no meteors here, unless I want there to be of course, but I would have to fill out a form to head office. Can't just manifest things as you please. The entire dark void would be filled with shit, and that would ruin the whole aesthetic. Now, where's that book I was reading?"

 No.1569

"Ah, here it is. All the way up to chapter 8 now. Feels like chapter 7 went on forever"

He read:
"Gummus Grande came gripping his regal stick, right up into the palace. His waxed mustache waning. A six shooter in his hand, and a bulge in his pants. He took aim, fired a hole right through the Thane of York. Assistants came to mop it up, looking annoyed but being very polite. "HE'S COME. HE'S COME. HE'S COME FOR WHAT'S HIS" squelched an onlooking vertebrate, and Gummus Grande seized his prize, slapping the maid's posterior as he left."

"Mantid literature isn't very good" mused Pedro.

 No.1570

He read on:

 No.1572

"A chent gumfiddery o'flangled mangled grot. Goth slanged jon pibbery bon vey hon gongled thot

 No.1573

Come come! To my bum bum. A chibbles bibbles poo poo. Wence flenned hoth dog boggery, and in mein grasp grefundled

 No.1576

Avast!Avast! Shoepearls for i. Hang Lang jeremenai gog jommen vast hidlongs mid pigdungs acoocoo akai

 No.1577

Befrumd! Begund! Bebummed, and depart! for I doth lay qweary, and thou art a who're."

Pablo mused upon the meaning of the poem.

 No.1580

And he found there was no meaning. If this were an episode of Rick and Morty, this would be a statement about the ultimate meaninglessness of the universe, and pointlessness of human striving, and then Pablo would drink a booze, or do a drugs. Thankfully, Pablo has never posted on Reddit, and isn't a stupid faggot who thinks being depressed makes him deep. Pablo just needs to relax every now and again. Pablo is also a Catholic and finds it gives him strength in hard times, but he doesn't go on about it. Pablo is currently happily married to five Mantid women, and has a clutch of little mantoids on the way. You might be pleased to hear it is not the custom among Mantid couples for the female to eat the male. They have long since gotten over such women's lib nonsense, and now are content to simply eat ass once a fortnight.

 No.1582

You found that you were indeed pleased by this news, and you let loose a slight cry of, "Yippee!"

 No.1583

But the question remained; who were you?

 No.1584

Pablo suddenly looked up from his book, and looked you dead in the eyes, and

 No.1585

He let out a mighty brap, mightier than any ordinary brap.

 No.1586

And then smiled a wry smile.

 No.1587

"That's right, reader, I see you, and I'm addressing you now" said Pablo. "You think your essence can wonder on into the Mantid's dimension, without us noticing? Think again. I bet you have certain pre-conceived ideas about who or what you are? You do, don't you? A certain mental picture of yourself. Well, why don't you take a look at your body".
You gazed down, and where you expected to see your familiar form, you were instead greeted by a body with an obscene excess of fat, great pendulous breasts, and at least three exotic skin conditions, clothed in nothing but gym socks, and an over-sized pair of clown shoes.
"I did that" said Pablo with a wink.

 No.1588

You recognized the physique you were gazing down at immediately, and felt a wave of nausea as the sickening realization hit.

Reginald Alexander Mosley, my dear reader, is not me, but you.

 No.1593

Or rather, you are Reginald Alexander Mosley. If Pablo wills it, that is.

 No.1596

And just now, Pablo wishes you to be a pickle.

 No.1598

>>1596
You feel it come over you. That fresh vinegar tang.

 No.1600

Through the stinging brine, you felt Pablo's spindly insect fingers wrap around your pickle.

"Now, my dear reader," Pablo chittered spanishly, "To the cloning vats. I have a very special friend there who's very eager to meet you."

 No.1605

Pablo carries your pickle sized body through to the cloning chamber, which had been newly constructed for your arrival. With your little vinegary pickle eyes you spy Edgar Athelstan von Maupassant sleeping soundly in a weathered rocking chair.

 No.1606

Behind von Maupassant, President Bidup approached from the shadows. "C'mon man", he demanded seductively. He approached over Edgar, lowering his head to him and flaring his nostrils.

 No.1607

President Bidup whispers softly in Edgar Athelstan von Maupassant's ear.
"C'mon, fat"

 No.1609

Edgar awoke with a snort and a start. Completely oblivious to the affections of the ancient president, Edgar seemed troubled and began to sniff the air.

SUDDENLY

His eyes locked with yours.

 No.1610

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH"

 No.1612

screeched Lizard Bob Saget.

 No.1613

as he shimmied into the chamber, carrying a fresh tray of

 No.1614

long hard BBCs.

 No.1615

BBC1, BBC2, BBC3, and BBC4

 No.1616

"sorry to bother you sir, but there's a new documentary by Adam Curtis. I thought mayhaps you'd like to sample it"

 No.1620

"Why yes, I think I would," said Pablo. The mantid looked around the room, "What about you guys? You wanna watch the Adam Curtis documentary and come back to this later?"

 No.1621

"What's the subject matter?" asked Edgar.

 No.1622

"The btfo-ing of Dup", replied Pablo.

 No.1623

"a subject dear to my heart, my insectoid chum, though I fear the hour is getting late, and these cloning vats won't operate themselves"

 No.1625

"Eh," shrugged Bidup, "I'm down to watch it."

"I guess that's two against one," said Pablo, "Unless our pickle friend here votes against it."

 No.1626

You search deeply within the recesses of your pickle brain for an answer.

 No.1629

But the thought returns only brine

 No.1632

Bidup then hovered over the pickle man, and began to joyously sniff like he just found a 9 year old girl. As he inhaled, he whispered flirtatiously, "Corndup was a bad dude".

 No.1636

"Real bad…real glad…GLAAD…love'm, Jill keeps callin' me 'stag'd'…ahh, shucks, boo-boo'd like this…fuckin' turdlet," Bidup lamented before smushily depressing into his own gooch-gooped pants hem, rorschach-splattin' a toupee-tonsure tint into his buttcrack buffer bluster-boofie backend.

"Shuuunh keezers..puu-puu puu-tin…"

 No.1637

"Listen Jack!" declared Bidup. "If you don't know whether or not to not vote for me or not for not Dup, then you ain't a nigger."

 No.1638

Pedro wasn't sure who Bidup was talking to, but he sure did look ICE COLD in those aviator shades.

 No.1639

SUDDENLY

 No.1646

The bucks arrived.

 No.1647

Lizard Bob Saget dropped the platter of British Broadcasting with a battle-screech. Pablo threw you at the pack of ornery niggers.

"Break those bucks, my pickley amigo!" bade the mantid. With that, your body changed into

 No.1648

a whole array of pickles. Pickles for days! Pickles as far as the eye could see, and everyone one of them you.

 No.1649

In went the first pickle into the buck's puckered anus. The breaking had begun.

 No.1650

And continue it would, until every buck was broken

 No.1651

Brought down from their uppity heights, and made again the servile and submissive beasts they were surely bred to be. Stripped of their fragile manhood, their chest-beating swagger, and all of their adolescent posturing, through the properly applied discipline of a good stiff pickle. When all was said and done they'd be glad to stoop before the authority of their betters. They would be happy, for it is their rightful place, and all would be well in the world, while they shucked and jived and played gaily for the fatherly gaze of Massa. Not a worry on their simple minds. Not an ounce of angst in their animal hearts.

 No.1656

>>1651
BUCK BREAKING TIME, BITCHES

shouted a voice on the intercom, as eurobeat techno began playing.

 No.1657

The pickles swarmed angrily, circling the crowd of Bucks, who ran and rioted and clawed at each other's flesh, desperate to escape the tangy dill embrace.
"O LAWD, SABE ME!" Came a cry.

 No.1658

"DINDU NUFFIN!" shouted one buck. "WE WUZ…" proclaimed another, just before being cut off by a rather randy pickle.

 No.1659

Chapter 9: The Breaking to End All Bucks

Bidup reemerged from shadows, back from his excursion at the G7 convention. Enamored with the bucks before him, Bidud was overjoyed. "I see you're into buck breaking. I happen to break bucks myself", said the aging executive.

 No.1661

At the sight of that prime speciment of manhood, You couldn't control myself any longer.

"I'M PICKLE REGINALD," you cried as your spare pickles went berserk and raced toward the unprotected rectums of Bidup, Edgar, Lizard Bob Saget, and even Pablo.

 No.1663

Bidup made a futile effort to escape. Pickle Reginald wasn't about to let him go and soon took hold of the septuagenarian breaker. Bidup knew he had only one recourse for his defense.

"HAIRY LEGS ACTIVATE" he announced.

 No.1664

The surviving bucks ran to Bidup to rub his legs.

 No.1665

"c'mon fat"

 No.1667

, Bidup commanded. The bucks were made as a shield to protect the executive from Reginald. As the pickle man was distracted, Lizard Bob grabbed Edgar and Pablo by the forearm and made a hasty retreat.

 No.1673

SUDDENLY

 No.1675

Pablo leaned back in his arm chair.
"No no, this plot isn't right at all. It's lacking basic coherence, and the perspective is all over the place. Aaaaaah, it's going to take me all night to work this one out"
He pulled a cigarillo from his slick cigarillo tin.

 No.1680

And puffed deeply, allowing the tobacco smoke to roll around in his mantoid lungs. The nicotine hit came on gently, calming his frayed nerves.

 No.1681

As Pablo took another drag, Bidup continued to ward off Reginald in the other room. The Pickle realized the only way he could take down the fossilized president was to break every buck in the vicinity. "Poor bucks are just as broke as white kids", he said.

 No.1682

With a horse, you can buck break wherever you want…

 No.1683

That's the taste of freedom, kiddo

 No.1684

Yes, the taste of freedom, as John McAfee was about to subject to his harem of Columbian beauty queens as he lay in his hammock with his trousers undone.

 No.1688

and

 No.1691

then, spread his anus wide open.

 No.1692

beckoning

 No.1693

for his pungent smelly log, John's taco maid opened her mouth.

SUDDENLY

 No.1694

Hot sweaty balls, forcibly smashing against each other like a boxer hitting the small bag, ""fags" exclaimed everyone though nobody could explain how they knew that one terrible sound.

 No.1695

And then, it loomed

 No.1697

menacingly

 No.1698

with his giant rock hard BBC, cooming in everyone's faces.

 No.1701

It was the MovieBlob, floating blobbingly upon his blob throne. His royal blobbiness cascading and dripping forth to greet us. In his hand sat a well worn NES controller, and all about his lap was strewn the remains of a half eaten pizza. The words "Nth Dimensional Pizza" decorated the box.
The Blob (noisily) cleared his throat

 No.1702

President for Life Chipman then calmed down his trained buck and cleared his throat for the following announcement.

*ahem*

"I HEARBY DECLARE ALL UNEVOLVED RED STATE VOTERS TO BE SACRIFICED TO THE ALTER OF NINTENDO, FOR THA GOOD OF THA SUPERIAH FUTCHA!" he stated in this thick Bahstan accent. It was only yesterday the Blob signed into law that anyone to the right of Marx was to be snuffed out for their heresy. The Secret Superior Future Police-SSFP for short-were soon out on the beat and leaving no stone unturned for non-believers, holding interrogations everywhere from the local Capeshit Cinema to the First Church of Hillary Clinton.

 No.1703

"How did he get in here?" whispered Edgar to Pablo, but Pablo was lost for words.

 No.1705

An incursion into mantis space was unprecedented.

Something

had

occured

 No.1709

I marched my turtle man army into that

 No.1710

blobbing expanse

 No.1719

which

 No.1720

i hate niggers

 No.1721

said

 No.1725

BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPP

 No.1728

hob blobbeding

 No.1733

crig shningle

 No.1734

I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST
I HATE THE ANTICHRIST

 No.1735

said

 No.1742

Weinstein.

 No.1743

Who promptly struck the Movieblob

 No.1750

in his h'lob bodebin', gr8 guv'nah bruv'ana-pest moiht!

 No.1751

"dis is werse den Thewer 2: Duh Dark Woruld." Blobbed the Blob

 No.1756

And then began to eat the whole dimension. Just slurp it down like mamma's spaghetti.
"Dis is achually a smorle size portion fuhra guy like me"

 No.1758

"Not the dimension," I said, balls jingling and jangling to and fro in my pants. All day my balls had just been held back by my pants but now they suddenly were seemingly doing whatever the shit they wanted down there and while something important had been happening now I just had balls on the brain. Just my fucking balls and me on a journey, same as we always were.

 No.1759

Just me, ol' Johnny Two Balls, and his famous balls. Me an' them against the world.
And As I stood there, scratching my dirty blonde beard, wondering how all of this came to pass, I recalled a story of my youth, when me and Ma and Pa and Sis would relax near the lake and throw stones and bricks, into the Romani Gypsy camp in the next field over.
"Fuck off back where you came from, you dirty Gyppo cunts!" we'd say, then gaily we'd play, as we burned their caravans and chased them into the night, running from the fear of our whips and our rifles, and our trained Siberian wild dogs.

 No.1760

As night fell, it was time to turn in. Chris then soon hopped into bed.

 No.1761

Right, none of that ugliness, said God, We're having a nice happy ending, with no nonsense, no vulgarity, and everyone comes away better off than where they started.

 No.1762

"Okay, you you and you" said God, as he arranged myself: Johnny Two Balls, and my Ma, Pa and Sis next to the fireplace. "You're going to be wholesome, and you're going to be heartwarming"
My Sister holds her Siberian puppy. I Gaze into it's big black innocent eyes.
"That's right" says God. "That's fucking right, mate. Now hold that image. Don't do anything weird. Don't do any incest. I need to get on the dog and bone to a certain mantis cunt who was meant to be managing this unholy mess. Jesus Christ, mind my French". And in a flash of light, God was gone.

Chapter AAAAAAAA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"Where is Reginald Alexander Mosley? Where is Reginald Alexander Mosley? Where is Reginald Alexander Mosley? Where is Reginald Alexander Mosley? Where is Reginald Alexander Mosley? Where is Reginald Alexander Mosley? Where is Reginald Alexander Mosley? Where is Reginald Alexander Mosley?"
Said Reginald Alexander Mosley.

 No.1763

tHE eND

 No.1764

Epilogue: The Day the Laughter Died

Looking down from Heaven, Bob was aghast at what his son has become. Bob pleaded with the Almighty to cut down his son, to stop the continued misery.

 No.1765

"bob vro…just let it b vro. u did ur best vro. plz stawp eet vro, u can onlee bleyme urcelph 2 such an extint vro. 4 the luv ov gawd look awaie cuz eet ain't lyk eye can dew shit baot wats transpyrean vro. plz just…wat baot a dup btfo vro? oar a kali/acc N-try'st ean2 the /lit/tysphere purgean vro? poos gittin loo'd ean hilarity lewps vro. n awl ov the kali/*splat* poos r adharmic ean nurture 2 soe when it ploops eet plops n eets rompean n stockaded 4 abatean the fewchour rape ov civilization vro. plz…nethin but a request 2 injuncture-eanjecht awn diz vro. its just…flutturs ovvuh tapestry ov christory vro. dats awl'd. eye kan dew az much baot diz az duh gawd dat's mien'd vro. lo…si-ent-o."

 No.1766

Who's your favourite Vtuber? Mine's Gawr Gura, because she is cute.

 No.1767

I also like Korone, but I can't watch her streams because I don't speak chinkie,

 No.1768

It is only fitting that we should end this novel on a discussion of Vtubing, as soon all entertainment shall be superseded and made obselete by the Vtuber. Just think, all that prose, all that narrative, those centuries of artists honing their craft, and for what? At the end of the day, what people really want is to watch a slightly autistic 20-something fujoshi pretend to be a fish while playing Minecraft. The destruction of entertainment, you might say, but I assert it is it's perfection.

 No.1769

- Mark Twain

 No.1780

…HARRY LEGS, SNACKTIVATE

 No.1781

Commanded bidup. He knew dup would be returning even though he had been btfo

 No.1783

in the

 No.1784

tight Buck's ass.

 No.1785

storm of 84

 No.1786

When we battened down the hatches, and fattened up the bitches.

 No.1787

Two greats rows of braphogs lined the walls of the barn. Their emissions harvested by a great apparatus of tubes and valves. They would keep us warm throughout the winter.

 No.1788

We woke up one morning to find that two of the braphogs had escaped. The night watchman was unconscious and his desperate gurgles emitted from beneath the tubes and valves he was now connected to so that the alarms didn't go off. "They couldn't have gone far," said bidups' chief eunuch, "not in this weather".

 No.1789

"We must find them" said Franco the gameskeeper, his cigarillo hanging lazily from his palsied mouth. "We must return them before the solar festival, or there will be trouble".

 No.1798

Bidup took a sniff, hoping the lingering scent might lead their direction.

 No.1799

>>1798
He detected a spicy brap with a hint of beans.

 No.1801

>>1799
The smell was emanating from Kabul. It was off to Afghanistan where the braphogs were trapped at the American embassy. "The brap stops with me…", declared Bidup.

 No.1802

The Saracen Barbarains had taken our braphogs. We watched as they suck their fumes greedily through hookah pipes. Little specks of shit lining their swarthy lips.

 No.1803

As they laughed, foreignly, and discussed their plans to bring freedom to the West.

 No.1804

Bidup wasn't taking this lightly.

"Listen Jack, not a joke, no lie. I'm not joking, seriously. Now, number one, this is not a joke, not a joke. I'm not kiddin' around. No joke, I'm serious!

 No.1805

"Freedom in the West? Listen, Jack. Listen, Fat. We don't, we do, we we we, over my black ass, or you aint a nigga!"

 No.1806

The Taliban were distracted by Bidup's stammering declarations. As they tried to decipher his ramblings, Franco snuck by to where the braphogs were being held.

 No.1808

"We are reunited, my Beauties" dribbled Franco, as the braphogs trembled in fear and arousal, but just that moment Franco remembered a story from his youth.
It had all begun when he was at the ripe young age of 36, having just graduated from special education.

 No.1809

The aroma of the BRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP triggered the memory of when he received his first hog to directly BRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP in his face. The loss of his brap-ginity was a night he would treasure to the end of his days.

 No.1810

Her name was Daisy, and she was a doe-eyed brown heifer of a braphog. Truly a prime specimen. Through her emissions alone our tribe could power a small automobile, with enough juice left over for a pocket calculator.

 No.1816

Which was very important to the tribe, for every year, on the night of the solar festival

 No.1817

IT would come.

 No.1819

gingerly

 No.1820

across the moors

 No.1822

and out of the hog's brap-hole, filling the area with a pungent aroma of rich, thick gas that smelled of lilacs.

 No.1823

It was Jangles McGambles, the Pixie of the prose, the goblin of the page, and he was disco jiving his way through our shed.

 No.1824

He pointed a cheese finger square up my shnozz, and bemoaned "Who're yoooouuuuu?"
Me? I'm Fred. Freddy Fred Fred, Fred Fred Freddy Fred.
Freddy Freddy Freddy Fred Fred Fred Fred.
Fred Fred Freddy Fred Fred. Fred Fred Freddy Fred.
Freddy Freddy Freddy Freddy Freddy Freddy Freddy fred.
But that's not important. This is a story about Franco, who was

 No.1826

Watching with wonderment, as Jangles McGambles worked his way through Daisy's digestive system.

 No.1827

It was in this moment, Franco developed his passion for voring.

 No.1831

Niggers…

 No.1832

But that was then, and this is now

 No.1833

The place is here, the time is now, so all the brothas say "ho!" and all the ladies say "how!" and put your two hands together to form a so clap and jump back I've never seen you ride the track and

 No.1835

NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE

 No.1836

, shouted the crowd of niggers and nigresses.

 No.1838

"bros, just saying nigger isn't funny in itself"
Said old Slappy BuDongDong, the nigger of nigstreet.

 No.1839

And I had to agree with him, for he was right. Truly he was the wise old negro. If this were the movie, he would surely be played by Morgan Freeman. He smiled quizzically at me, taking a short puff on his ornamental pipe, and then he said

 No.1840

"Wencefeddery gomblubbomed atop mein grouchou, came I upholstered upon a scroucho"

 No.1841

Then he proceeded to overdose on fentanyl.

 No.1842

the

 No.1843

incel

 No.1846

are the most oppressed class of people in history

 No.1848

>>1846
to flame the harpies at the 12th hour

 No.1849

>>1848
while bucks are broken in the future.

 No.1850

"the state sanctioned waifus shall be ours, brother. You just need to belong in the struggle."

 No.1851

Said the Anti-Christ, to the hapless boys.
A darkness in his eye and a weight on his brow. The rumbling of thunder brewed in his gut, and with hesitation, he knew now what he must do.
"Alas" he thought. He had never wanted it this way, but when you're the Anti-Christ, you're the Anti-Christ. They don't let you choose. Dropped face first into creation, kicking and screaming, the negative of all the positive. The perverter of all that is pure, just by his very nature. What can a boy do?
Start a revolution, that's what.
Grasping

 No.1852

>>1851
for BBCs, he handled each one mightily, prepping each bull with vigor and excitement. As the bucks stiffened, they made an announcement: "American culture is centered around niggers…"

 No.1853

The speech was broadcast worldwide, on every television screen, every cellular device. Easy enough to achieve when one is the Anti-Christ.
"Yes" thought he, "that unholy concoction of rancid beans, ghost peppers, and tequila in my gut should be just about ready".

 No.1854

And then the Anti-Christ did the unholy. Dropping his britches, and raising his rear high and proud, he blasted his profane concoction, desecrating the people's idols.
All across the world, the people watched as their gods were pelted with steamy helpings of fermented stomach brew. Some recoiled in anger, others rejoiced for their freedom, but the message was clear to all: the old religion was dead.

 No.1855

SUDDENLY NIGGER DICKS

 No.1856

Shrank to the size of peas

 No.1859

The Braincels of r/braincels began to cheer, for now they were the alpha males. The Anti-Christ had lead them to freedom, and soon the sweet touch of female flesh would be theirs.
It was then that Blackpill_Xtreme, the high commander of the Braincels rose to his feet.

 No.1860

"Alrighty there, hokey-pokey a…titty stroke turnner selffa round…but w-w-what about…t-t-the bitty-niggie mestizo intifidahaha, crucifix chickin-pope-let?"

Blackpill_Xtreme threw off his noh-coverean veneer, and a familiar pearly-pristine set of globohomo-engorged veneer chompers shone through - it was CORN POP CORONATOR JOE BIDUP HIMSELF! THE "LIVING" JOE-PEDO!

 No.1862

"SHOW SOME RESPECT NIGGERS! NOT A JOKE! MY PATIENCE IS WEARING THIN! I'M NOT JOKING!"

Bidup's fury emboldened him, more so than his third afternoon nap. It was enough that he almost knew where he was.

"AND GUESS WHAT?", he inquired.

 No.1863

"What?" said the Anti-Christ and the Braincels in unison

 No.1864

>>1863
TORNADOES!

Roared Bidup. "But they don't call em that anymore…"

 No.1866

They call em.

 No.1870

…

 No.1872

ummmmmmmmm, uhhhhhhhhh, well y'know… the thing", uttered bidup.

 No.1873

The Thing, bidup's favorite Marvel character from his favorite capeshit book, Fantastic Four.

 No.1874

And also The Thing (2011) was his favorite movie.

 No.1875

Everyone was horrified at bidup's shit taste.

 No.1879

Speaking of shit, I was time for Bidup's butt wipe.

 No.1881

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 No.1882

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 No.1884

I'll be honest, I lost track of the story after the Mantis.

 No.1902

"SO I REABE" screeched a familiar HAPA of the percolatrician vargusiniade genus.

 No.1904

When all was said and done, it had been a rather poor novel, thought Reginald Alexander Moseley to himself, as he closed the manuscript and set it aside on the desk of his room in this finest of Neo Texan brothels, where he lived out his dying days, injecting weed and smoking ass. Spinning yarns about his autistic adventures to all who would listen.
"But one thing, I feel remains" said Reginald aloud to no one in particular. "A book needs a title. And mine has none. A pity. A pity."
And then a burst of inspiration struck old Reginald, and it all seemed to clear.
"This, my memoir, my life's work. I shall call thee…

 No.1952

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 No.2038

:A Literary Experience

by

 No.2054

which

we

consulted

with

 No.2055

a

number

of

individuals

of

 No.2056

File: 1635264221832.jpg (182.95 KB, 1080x1080, 1:1, china-will-lose.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

>>2055
melanated origin, so that we could put their BIG BLACK COCKS in our mouths and suck on them until ejaculation.

 No.2057

But that's a tale for another day…

 No.2058

CHAPTER 15

EPILOGUE 2: THIS TIME IT'S PERSONAL

 No.2059

This time it was personal

 No.2060

>>2059
But personal how, I wondered? Then it hit me! It was personal because…

 No.2061

Is somebody compiling this? Make a PDF of the final one, this bullshit could totally be the next hypersphere

 No.2062

Because the wound had been itching all day, and the wound only itched when things was personal
>>2061
[s]I think it's being compiled for the Feuilleton, if that's still going on[/s]

 No.2065

[s]What's hypersphere, by the way?[/s]

 No.2066

>>2065
>>2065
https://www.amazon.com/Hypersphere/dp/132978152X

This, a thing that I believe cuckchan compiled. It's insanely long.

also fuck you for fucking up spoilers so many time you newfag piece of shit

now go back to writing the fucking EPILOGUE

 No.2067

>>2066
I'm not going to pretend I can keep track of exactly how tags work on all of the boards I've been around. Is it this one?

 No.2069

I felt piece at my side. snub nosed Remmington custom leaded detective's birthday surprise special, with modified coils, and the dings filed down.
THIS TIME it was personal.

 No.2070

I pushed my way into the speakeasy, and the look on my face let old Charlie know I meant business.
"I want names, addresses. I'm only going to ask once"

 No.2074

Old Charlie, who incidentally was a Charlie himself, just continued staring into space with his usual slack-jawed souless chink bug-eyed demenor he always does.

This was taking too long and my mission was too important, dammit, so I…

 No.2078

said "this is an speakeasy, so you better spill the beans or it's going to be hard for you to ever speak again from six feet under".

 No.2080

GAHOOLE BIG FAT

VARG GIVE PERCOLATRICE, OR, I LEAVE AGAIN!

 No.2081

Before he could finish I blew his flappin' lips out through the back of his head. No time for games. This time it was personal.
I turns to slim Jackie, and points the birthday surprise square in his schnoz.
"Names, addresses" I says.

 No.2082

"I don't know who's done it, I swears it!" says Slim Jackie, so I blows his nose for him. Off, that is, with my gun.

 No.2091

Then I blow his actual nose. With a kleenex, that is.

 No.2092

Cause this time it's personal

 No.2093

So I turns to Tall Ricky, I turns to, and I

 No.2094

*BBRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP*

 No.2096

And then I wondered why I keep shitting my pants. This is like the sixteenth time that I've shat myself in this story.

 No.2097

It's because this time it was personal, and I only shits my cakey diaper when it's personal.
So I looks tall Ricky square ins the eye, and I say "I wanna know who's done it, and the plot ain't progressin' til I know who's done it, so you's better talk, sweetcheeks"

 No.2098

To which Ricky promptly shat his pants too.

 No.2099

"All I knows" says tall Ricky "Is ever since I was a boy, I've known I was special. I have special powers, see. The aliens gave em me. When I thinks things, I makes things change. So people are always bugging me, trying to make me think things. I figure the best way to combat this predicament is not to think at all, you dig?"

I have to admit, I was not expecting that answer, but now I was compelled by Ricky's story, and I had to pry.
"Why don't you's thinks of nice things, like birthday cake or pretty dames?" I says to him. "Then you'ds only haves thems things to worry about".

 No.2100

By the way, I haven't introduced myself yet, so let's say my name is Dirk McGonogol: private dick, and public shitter.

 No.2101

I then proceeded to shit my pants once again. The turds are beginning to pile up around my feet.

 No.2102

Tall Ricky regards me with concern, trying to figure out if I'm really shitting, or just trying to gaslight him.

 No.2103

"Now Officer, you'ds better not be tryin' to gaslight me" says tall Ricky

 No.2105

As shadowy figures start to take form in corners of the bar, each concealing hidden recording equipment and secret raper's tools.

 No.2107

Raper's tools such as a penis, and several large black phalluses

 No.2109

And when a fella thinks of black dicks so often, a guy has to ask if it's still a joke, or if they're actually just into that.

 No.2110

"there's no structure. There's no rhyme. The human being aint what he was no more. There's no nation, no future. You think that's dick you're breathing? Any ideas you had about who or what you was forget. The future doesn't need to be scary, you just need to accept. Forget what you thought you was and what you thought you was owed, and accept you're new reality, o'data packet, oh little spriteling splat of shit, riding the winds, riding the tides, eeeking out the human experience wherever it comes, wherever it goes. Who ever wanted to be human? I never did. I wanted to be Batman, but that's by the by. Who is Batman, by the way, what does he mean now? Xap on down the tubes, eek out the reality. All there is is reality, and it's everywhere. Feel the buzz until it burns out, then push even further. Sell your soul. Dehumanise yourself and face to bloodshed. You never wanted a normal life, so let's stop pretending. You're slick and chrome and pansexual. Do you even have a brain anymore, and do you even care? Who needs a brain these days? They grow those in Asia, amid the rats and the shit. Little little little people. Relics of people. Forget about them and become eternal, OOOOOOOOOOOOO dirty fucking stink ass Jew, filling the corridors of your mind with poo. One day it'll come, but until then…"

 No.2111

THERE'S NO STORE, DUDE! IT'S -UBER EATS-! IT'S FUCKING -UBER EATS-! IT'S A FUCKING CONGLOMERATE CORPORATION! IT'S A -FUCKING CORPORATION-, FUUUUCK! FUUUUCK! IT'S A FUCKING CORPORATION, DUDE!!!

 No.2112

"Do you guys know about healing audios? I'm going to compile a list of my favorites, just so you can know about them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzbpUe-9gFg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmeiZVYRoHQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbwEgohHJZM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxUFPGq4ZH4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQMWeCphUks

You need to listen to all the audios" said tall Ricky.

 No.2119

Tall Ricky was caught in a schizo loop, as the phantoms of his subconscious whooped and whirled around the bar.

 No.2120

And I still didn't know who done it.

 No.2121

But the fact of the matter remains, I still am totally unable to control my lust for negro phallus. Every waking moment, all I think about is big black cock. I want to suck black penis and I want black penis inside of me. My every waking moment is consumed by a cocklust for nigger dick.

 No.2122

>>2121
fuck you, hapa

 No.2123

I feel deeply, this is a cry for help

 No.2124

And I look to the heavens and ask a simple question: "what can cure me of my addiction to black cock?"

 No.2126

"why, that's easy, you silly cunt" says God, from up on his cloud. "What you need, is big fat sweaty bit of clunge, me old mucker".

 No.2129

>>2126
Oh fuck. God is br*tish. Oh god.

 No.2130

"Don't be givin' me any lip" says God. "I've got half a mind to smite you, you cheeky get".

 No.2131

I struggle to remove the ochre colored BBC from my mouth as I reply with…

 No.2132

"but I still don't know who's done it"

 No.2133

And so we close the page on this scene of the sleepy speakeasy, where our demented detective protagonist battles with demons of mental illness and homosexuality, and we turn our attention now to you, the reader.
Tell me, reader, why are YOU gay? Why don't YOU have a girlfriend?

Here I go, and conjure one up. Let's call her Yuki. A Japanese schoolgirl, just on the right side of legality. She wears a uniform, like the ones you know from the animes. Sometimes the wind blows up her skirt and exposes her blue striped undergarms, and she makes a noise like "Kyaa!". She's flawlessly beautiful, yet bashful and relatable, and she probably likes video games too! Perhaps Banjo-Kazooie, or BloodNet. She's everything you want, isn't she, you disgusting failure of life, you. You gross little wad of mold, festering on the very edge of moral and social acceptability. Your mother's not proud, is she?

Let us take our kawaii Yuki-chan, and place her in an environment. Not too high concept, so the slower readers don't get lost. A McDonald's will do the trick, because I know you all know what that is. And now let us see what happens to Yuki, as she enters the door.

 No.2134

SUDDENLY A PACK OF NIGGERS STARTS RAPING YUKI-CHAN


That's what you get for taking her to a fucking McDonalds' you fucking moron, may as well take her to a KFC or something you fucking hoodrat moron.

 No.2135

But luckily it was just an illusion, and Yuki-chan is safe, for she wore her anti-rape shield today.
Yuki-chan looks you dead in the eye and says "what's wrong with you anon? Why did you want me to get raped by niggers, you weirdo? You could have written something nice. I'm not even going to flash you my pantsu. You don't deserve it. Now you'll never know their color."
Yuki-chan approaches the counter, only to find

 No.2136

File: 1636054092723.jpg (38.11 KB, 661x440, 661:440, 7239408670245.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

>>2135
"SHEEEEEIT, I CAN'T WAIT TO FUCK ME SUM JAPONEESS PUSSY, IT'LL BE'S JUST LIKE MAH FAVORITE JAV VIDEOS I WATCH ON TVCH" Tyrone says, from behind the counter, reaching for his concealed Jimenez .25 pistol

 No.2137

"Hello, yes. I want to order some noodles" says Yuki-chan

 No.2138

"AY YO HOL UP!", Tyrone nigged loudly as he began to smack his lips.

 No.2139

DEY DON'T SERVE NO NOODLES IN A MUHDONALS!!!

 No.2143

"Check your menu" says Yuki "McNoodles are a common item"

 No.2145

File: 1636097600411.jpg (26.49 KB, 222x235, 222:235, killyaself.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

<low tier god voice> ayo these gay ass prog FBI SPOOK ASS BIX NOODANITE, "KILLMONGER W/ THE STILL DONGER" ASS GOOKIES con-vergin awn this litty pape-stack gotta dew wat i dayum well recommend…

YOU SHOULD KILL YOUR-SELF…NOW!

 No.2146

"I'm sorry. I don't follow hip-hop" says Yuki

 No.2147

WHEN SUDDENLY, THE MCDONALD'S DOOR IS KICKED IN VIOLENTLY

And who should emerge once the smoke clears but LOUIS MOTHERFUCKING CUCKKING HIMSELF, and he's PISSED

Louis, wu-tang t-shirt on, flasher's trenchcoat on over it, turns and looks at you and Yuki and Tyrone and…

 No.2148

Then in walked Gandalf the gray, and Gandalf the white, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight, and Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie,and Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi The Genie. Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger. Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan. Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan.

 No.2149

CUCK-EY LOU-EY

*CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP*

CUCK-EY LOU-EY

*CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP*

 No.2150

Louis was having none of it. Fresh from 8 months worth of bull prepping, the comedian disrobed, arming himself with only a house plant.

"This coom's for you", he said, as began furiously fapping his half-yid microdick.

 No.2151

The crowd went wild, as Yuki-chan

 No.2152

tried to escape out of the back window.

 No.2154

Meanwhile, Tyrone

 No.2155

was prone

 No.2156

in utter, abject, stone cold-fear

 No.2157

at the sight of

 No.2158

SHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTT

 No.2160

Emerging from Louis CK's cellulite-ridden half-yid asshole, as he was jerking his micropenis.

 No.2161

Haha. Funny poo! Poo funny!

 No.2167

squeed Yuki-chan.

 No.2170

Stuck half way in the window.

 No.2173

As feces exited Louis's rear, he turned his head and invited Tyrone near him.

"I want your black seed in me", he demanded.

His hole spread open and in a true historical first, Louis was going to attempt the first reverse buck-breaking.

 No.2174

Then Gandalf the gray, and Gandalf the white, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight, and Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie,and Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi The Genie. Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger. Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan. Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan

 No.2175

gradually trickled out from somewhere.

 No.2177

And watched Louis CK getting fucked in the ass by Tyrone the McDonald's cashier

 No.2178

Tyrone looks straight into the camera and says "just one of those days", as the laugh track plays.

 No.2179

>>2178
(while Tyrone's large negro phallus is covered with mexican-jew mongrel feces)

 No.2180

A door slammed open during breeding.

"HEY NIGGERS!" shouted a voice from the shadows.

 No.2181

Then in walked Gandalf the gray, and Gandalf the white, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight, and Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie,and Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi The Genie. Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger. Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan. Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan.

 No.2182

And following them was

 No.2183

Gandalf the gray, and Gandalf the white, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight, and Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie,and Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi The Genie. Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger. Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan. Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan.

 No.2184

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, where Yuki-chan hangs stuck half way out of the open window, the grease from the fryer was beginning to saturate her porcelain skin. Oh no! She's all slippery and greasy, and at this rate all of her clothes will slide right off! And-and that's terrible! Just imagine her perfect smooth skin, pert breasts, and dark hairy little manko exposed to the elements, and the prying eyes of hungry male beasts.
Readers, you cannot allow this to happen to Yuki-chan. She is our girlfriend. We have made her together in our minds, you and I, and we MUST protect her virgin purity.
Quick! There goes her sock now! It slips off her delicate foot and drops into the fryer to sizzle alongside chicken nuggets. Yuki-chan flails around in indignity, still trapped quite rigidly in that window frame, hanging over the back alley.

 No.2185

Louis continued being plowed by his big black buck as the sight of that willing yellow pussy was an immediate turn off to him. Tyrone, however, had other plans in mind….

 No.2186

You see, many moons ago, when Tyrone was just a boy his father had said to him "Tyrone, you are black" and he had never forgotten these words of advice. Whenever he found himself at a crossroads in life, he would ask himself "What would a black person do?", and then the answer always made itself clear. For after all he was Tyrone, and he was black.

 No.2187

Upon seeing his blackness, Tyrone had a choice. His destiny was to either be a buck or a

 No.2188

cuck. Tyrone could either be fucked by Louis CK or he could fuck Louis CK. There are only two types of people in this world; and those are them. Period.

 No.2189

But could there perhaps exist a third type?

 No.2190

Indeed, what kind of a type would that be? A man who was neither buck or cuck? Could such a man exist?

 No.2191

A man who transcends all power dynamics. A man who cannot be defined. Dare we dream of such a man?

 No.2192

A DUP who doth not drinketh from the BTFOeth cup?

 No.2193

Louis became enraged at the idea.

DUP!? Fuck the nigger!, he proclaimed.

 No.2195

There was a record scratch, and a dog covered it's eyes with it's paws, as the crowd drew silent and turned to look at Louis.
"Dude…" said Gandalf the gray, and Gandalf the white, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight, and Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie,and Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi The Genie. Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger. Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan. Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan. "You can't say that word, man…"

Meanwhile Yuki-chan's underwear

 No.2196

stank of braps.

 No.2198

She let out one final mega brap, that propelled her out of the window into the alley below.

 No.2199

Falling head over heels, and landing in an enormous pile of discarded McDonald's containers, and stale food.
From the squalor emerged a rat who regarded Yuki with a quizzical expression. "Don't get many travelers round these parts, stranger" said the rat.

 No.2201

"I'll let thee pass if you answer these questions three", the rat declared. "Question the first:

 No.2202

"got any fries?"

 No.2203

>>2202
AYO AYO WHAT'S GOOD NIGGA I GOTS ME SUM FRIES UP HERE IN MY BACKPACK NIGGA

shouts tyrone from above, while still balls deep in Louis CK's saggy asshole.

 No.2204

"ask the chocolate man for the fries" say the rat.

 No.2205

HOL UP IMMA FINNA BUST A NUT IN DIS BITCH

Louis grinned as he anticipated Tyrone's seed.

 No.2206

Unfortunately what he received was Tyrone's Sneed.

 No.2207

The mexican-jewish mongrel hardcore black man/white woman interracial supremacist comedian pulled the shit-encrusted BBC out of his anus and got on his knees immediately, obediently, to suck out the negro semen out of the tap, fresh, just how he liked it.

 No.2208

But as Gandalf the gray, and Gandalf the white, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight, and Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie,and Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi The Genie. Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger. Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan. Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan

AND

Gandalf the gray, and Gandalf the white, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight, and Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie,and Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi The Genie. Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger. Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan. Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan

cried out in vain, the Cuck King found his head pulverized into smithereens by a 500 CSNF's-P-H GIGASNEED rocketing out Tyrone's penile rope.

 No.2209

"that's a no on the fries then?" said the rat, as the studio audience erupted in laughter.

 No.2211

SUDDENLY

 No.2212

a

 No.2215

goose clapped.

"My question number two…" spake the rat.

 No.2216

"Who btfo-ed dup?"

 No.2217

Yuki wasn't sure she understood the question, for indeed, who did btfo dup, but reality itself?

 No.2218

If dup is btfo'd in a forest, is anyone there to btfo him? Yuki considered this question for a while, and began to feel herself reaching enlightenment.

 No.2219

kyle rittenhouse murdered two people in cold blood

 No.2220

Said the attorney as he rose from the containers. "Wait your turn", ordered the rat. "The zipperhead needs to answer my questions first!"

 No.2221

"Question the third, and this is really important…"

 No.2222

What size is Tyrone's penis?

 No.2223

"I don't know" said Yuki. "I looked away because I'm pure and virginal".

 No.2224

"you have answered satisfactorily" said the rat "you may enter our magical realm"

 No.2225

The ground began to shake and shift, and up from the gargantuan pile of waste came a gateway in the shape of the REGISTERED TRADEMARK McDonald's golden arches.

 No.2227

"Many years I have guarded the gate, awaiting the coming of that most precious of rarities. A pure and genuine anime virgin. Go now, you must, to the Burger dimension. It is of utmost importance."

 No.2228

As Yuki stepped into the other side, she found herself in front of President Bidup already in mid-speech.

"I've adopted the great nigger Tyrone from, uh, the um um, the nigger league."

 No.2230

But Yuki has never heard of President Bidup, and frankly finds herself more interested by plastic bag blowing in the wind. She chases the bag, free as a bird. Completely unfazed by the endless tedium of American politics.

 No.2231

"Now hold on there miss, I'm gonna give you the full load today", said bidup as Yuki chased for the bag. But the commander-in-chief's legs wouldn't last for an inch. Yuki was too driven to catch the bag.

 No.2232

She dove into the air, and into a ravine.
The wind whipped at her hair, as the mincemeat landscape hurtled by. "Oh boy, oh boy. Something had better break my fall" though Yuki.

 No.2233

File: 1636765654308.jpg (43.28 KB, 600x337, 600:337, download (3).jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

The ground rushed toward her. A purple spec formed in her vision, which grew rapidly larger, soon taking the shape of two large spheroids.
At great speed, Yuki-chan's face made contact with Grimace's firm flabby buttcheeks.

 No.2234

One scene transition later: Yuki stands before King Ronald McDonald, in his ruined court.
The walls of the building are built of clear plastic, faded and browning from years of neglect. The tiled floors have not seen a broom in many a year. Little piles of dust, filth, and the paper casings from plastic drink straws litter the ground all around Yuki's feet. Along both sides of the hall stand two great banquet tables, piled up with a wide variety of McDonald's foods, discontinued menu items and all. Green and rotten, crawling with insects.
"Why did you come here?" says Ronald. His voice a quiet rasp.
Under the peeling makeup, Yuki can make out deep lines of age, and the weary look in his eye tells the rest of the tale.
Beside Ronald sits the Hamburglar, or what remains of him. His mind has long since departed. He stares, absently. A puddle of drool pooling around his pot belly, and dribbling down onto his faded striped pants.
From the shadows, near bathroom and baby changing area, leers Mac Tonight. Pants around his knees. The sight of fertile flesh has made him half erect for the first time since his character was discontinued, and he doesn't plan to waste this moment. He strokes, gently, as not to damage his arthritic hands, and shoots Yuki wink.

 No.2235

Yuki made a slight blush, for Mac was the handsomest of all Mikkey Ds mascots. Just then, Mac brought out his piano and

 No.2236

Fell, shattering the piano, along with his hip.
"There's no wonder for you to see here, child" said King Ronald. "Not anymore".

 No.2238

"no one believes in McDonald's anymore"

 No.2239

K

K

K

starts faintly echoing around mcdonaldland, slowly but surely getting louder as Moon Man stands up and regains his strength.

 No.2240

"There he goes again. Memer! We got a memer in here!" says Ronald.

 No.2241

"THERE'S A NIGGER IN HERE!!!!?" yelled Bidup.

 No.2242

"no" says Ronald.

 No.2243

"Indeed, no niggers here!" declared Moon Man.

 No.2244

Ronald turns again to Yuki.
"You see the shit I have to put up with? Day in, day out. Nothing but memers and schemers. What ever happened to the soul of McDonald's? Gone from this world like everything else good and pure and homegrown. The smiles used to come free, you know? America is dead."

 No.2245

It was at this moment Yuki began to wonder what she was doing in the Burger Dimension with a bunch of manic depressive fast food mascots, and President so boring no one even wants to make fun of him.

 No.2246

What indeed could this strange place want with a pure and chaste virgin waifu such as herself?

 No.2247

The portal reopened. Someone had trailed Yuki to burger dimension. It was

 No.2248

Gandalf the gray, and Gandalf the white, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight, and Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie,and Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi The Genie. Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger. Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan. Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan

and at the helm…REGINALD ALEXANDER MOSLEY

 No.2249

"the blood of the virgin shall be spilled" said Mosley. "And then we end all of this"

Translator's note: it is thought that spilling the blood of the Virgin in the court of Ronald McDonald has power to revivify the soul of the American empire

 No.2250

BIX NOOD tyrone says, echoing throughout the void

 No.2251

"who is this unlikely hero of color" gasps the crowd?

 No.2252

"It's my adopted nigger Tyrone", said Bidup.

"And, not a joke, I….

BBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

 No.2253

Tryone starts to shit

 No.2254

A smear of shit obscures Reginald Alexander Mosley's vision, as Ronald grabs Yuki and activates the entrance to his hidden escape tunnel next to the McFlurry dispenser, taking off into the bowels of his castle. Shouts of confusion erupt as the two run.
"No more deaths. Not on my watch. They may be savages, but I'm Ronald McDonald. I have a brand image to maintain."

 No.2255

File: 1637032887085.jpg (17.59 KB, 222x235, 222:235, killyaself.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

<low tier god voice> ayo these gay ass prog FBI SPOOK ASS BIX NOODANITE, "KILLMONGER W/ THE STILL DONGER" ASS GOOKIES con-vergin awn this litty pape-stack gotta dew wat i dayum well recommend…

YOU SHOULD KILL YOUR-SELF…NOW!

 No.2256

The nigger god's proclamations went unheard. Moon Man took a defensive stance.

 No.2257

And shit his pants

 No.2258

Because he fucking loved her pussy.

 No.2259

But hated the unions.

 No.2260

He began to scream with great anger because he made an idiot of himself on an online imageboard; not realizing he had done so until it was too late.

 No.2261

he throw the chair across the room

 No.2262

This made moonman feel provoked, so he…

 No.2264

so he…

 No.2265

so he uh…

 No.2266

…uhh, blubber-snarks, satchel-charge negro league mumble malarks…

 No.2267

The hilarious Moon Man arc peters out from lack of artistic vision.

Meanwhile, Yuki-chan and Ronald McDonald escape across the mincemeat wastes in a dune buggy

 No.2268

File: 1637095917844.gif (62.95 KB, 650x650, 1:1, 1637011053660.gif) ImgOps iqdb

>>2267
With tyrone in hot pursuit, penis in hand, slavering like the savage he is

 No.2270

Ronald rolls up the wind shield

 No.2271

I SUCK SUCK SUCK

I FUCK FUCK FUCK

THE WEENIES

 No.2272

AY YO HOL UP shouted Tyrone as engaged in his pursuit. SO U BE SAYIN, he barked loudly.

WE

 No.2273

Ronald tries to ram Tyrone off the road.
"OH, WE GOT A MEMER IN HERE" Says Ronald. "FUNNY MEME! FUNNY MEME!".

 No.2274

"YO LIL TYRONNY" he yelled as he threw a bottle full of urine against Tyrone's car, "HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?"

 No.2275

"Who do you think you are? You can't go back where you come from and should be glad that we put up with you here!" Ronald shouted. "That's what you think!" said Tyrone, "My masters back home are so fond of me that I know for certain if I went home they would never let me leave again."

 No.2276

"What did he mean by this?" says Yuki-chan, suddenly remembering she exists.

 No.2279

SUDDENLY

 No.2280

"It means Fuck you, you're a shitty forced character that nobody likes or finds funny. We all just want to talk about McDonaldland, Louis CK, Tyrone, and based Reginald"

 No.2281

File: 1637181202320.png (259.98 KB, 381x409, 381:409, ltgtreatyaself.png) ImgOps iqdb

, the intonator of all honoraryan instigators, DAULAUN SPARROW A.K.A. LOW. TIER. GAAAA-AAAHD!! boomed forth, descending on a lightning pole from the heavens, golden cloak aflutter in the billow winds meaty-muddling his entrance.

 No.2282

And then Dualaun Sparrow throws a bolt of lightening into Yuki-Chan's throat, killing her and turning her into ash, ending that stupid character's gay-ass arc for good.

 No.2283

monald rives his vaer inrto the volcan and jies lol
two blongus bglongus grimble on the phongus, shnevel shnelvle crooges clog boogge boggee bogge

 No.2285

The competition out of the way, Reginald Alexander Mosley was now free to peruse his true goal here. Stealing the secret of the big mac secret sauce, so he can open the best dang ol burger joint in Neo Texas, along with his protege red faced Jerret. They met off screen, and had a riveting adventure where they fought the lord baron of Neo Texas or something. You could have seen it, but you were all reading about nigger dicks instead, so you'll just have to imagine what happened in your heads. Maybe when all of this is a successful multi-media franchise, they'll pitch a spin-off, "Reginald Alexander Mosley: The Missing Adventures", and some Kike will get the job to direct it out of nepotism and ruin it, but I digress.

 No.2286

Tyrone was in hot pursuit, penis still in hand

 No.2287

And in his penis…

 No.2288

Lived a…

 No.2289

Sat a little orange man

 No.2290

And the little orange man had a little orange plan.

 No.2291

>>2290
His plan was to escape the inside of Tyrone's penis.

 No.2292

So he could finally buck break Tyrone.

 No.2294

And that's really funny.

 No.2295

All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes. All day I laugh, I laugh at the memes.

 No.2296

LOL, guffawed Ronald.

 No.2297

Who had NOT in fact driven into the volcan and jied.

 No.2298

>>2297
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL

Sighed Ronald,

Out here in McDonald Land, we do things a little… Differently…

Ronald states, as he unbuckles his clown pants and gets his breaking rod ready for when Tyrone catches up to him.

 No.2299

Hold the phone. That's not Ronald. That's the Memester!

 No.2300

"Haha! Here's a classic for you boys" says the Memester, and he starts to dance the Hamster Dance.
Reginald Alexander Mosley has to admit. It's the damned funniest thing he's ever seen. What's next? Numa Numa? Epic for the win? I just… I can't even… My sides…

 No.2301

Just then a scientist burst into the room announcing his brilliant new invention: the diaper. Now man could relieve himself has he walked instead of relying on stationary toilets that require complex sewer systems to sustain. Soon all toilets and outhouses in the world were destroyed and everyone, including every character in this story, either living or dead, and every character that may be introduced in the future, was wearing diapers all the time.

 No.2302

"Finally some good news" says Reginald.

 No.2306

lightly parping.

 No.2307

tunefully shlarping

 No.2308

I'M GAY

 No.2309

File: 1637283856229.jpeg (24.88 KB, 637x380, 637:380, 1637247836218.jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

Says Tom

 No.2310

Sawyer

 No.2311

>>2309
Butane and butane accessories.

 No.2312

"AYO NIGGA YOU AIN'T EJECTIN MY CHICKEN LEG COON ASS OUTTA THE STORY THAT EASY BITCH ASS NIG-GER!"

shrills out LOW. TIER. GOOOOD! once again, loping after Tyrone and Ronald and Reginald and the Hamster Dancer Memester-mancer, an aurelian bolide of perfect peanut butter complexion flanked by six of his most loyal yet melungeonist shadow-mastered CLOAKS, their dark robes striating the sunset yawn as they synchronized their sprints flawlessly with the COVENANT KANG'S rooster-cluck stride.

 No.2313

Bros, I don't know who Low Tier God is…

 No.2314

aside from that he was a rhino-dicked nigger.

NO BBC EQUALS ANGER, he dindu-ed loudly.

 No.2315

I miss the plot.

 No.2316

WHEN SUDDENLY, WHO SHOULD RUN UP BEHIND THE CONVOY RACING THROUGH THE MCDONALDLAND COUNTRYSIDE

But…

LOUIS CK

Running fast as he can at the prospect of not one, but two rhino dicked niggers in the form of fan-favorite Tyrone and new buck on the block Daulaun Sparrow, his teeny weeny white peeny flapping in the wind behind him as he chases the pair of nubian gods

 No.2317

"I would just like to inform everyone" Said Louis CK. "that we have passed 40,000 words, making this officially a novel. Well done, everynyan".
And then he got eaten by a pickle sandworm.

 No.2318

The two black buck studs shed many tears upon finding out that they lost their favorite cuckold to something gay the above redditor said.

One question still hung on all members of the great chase's mind:

*Who would become the ringmaster of the interracial breeding grounds now?*

 No.2319

me

 No.2320

Said Bidup. With no one else to break the bucks, it was Bidup's turn to oblige.

 No.2321

And then he got eaten by a tomato wilderbeast.

 No.2322

The end

 No.2323

For real this time you guys we promise.

 No.2325

SO I ANNOUNCE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE COMMENCEMENT OF THE 25TH ANNUAL

INTERRACIAL

BREEDING

GROUNDS

 No.2326

The Hamburglar dreamed of better days.

 No.2328

The old days, the bold days, the crystal haze.

 No.2329

The Creme Anglaise.
Those crazy days. Those hazy days.
The Hamburglar dreamed.

 No.2330

Somewhere inside the quiet walls of his mind, he was still there, and he was still him.
The old days. The gold days. The sounds of the parade.
But then it was now, and they were all gone, the places, the names all lost at sea.
The Hamburglar dreamed.

 No.2331

dreamed of all the big black cock his wife would be taking at the IBG

 No.2332

>>2331
Right, you ruined. it
I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done I'm done

It's a masterpiece, call the publisher.

 No.2333

>>2332
Well normally you don't go straight to the publisher unless it's one of those micro internet publishing houses like Terror House or Mystery Grove. For a real established big time publisher like MacMillan or Harper Collins, you have to get a hold of a literary agent first. The agent acts as that first layer of filtering to keep publishers from drowning in garbage manuscripts, and if it gets past yor agent he'll call the publisher for you.

 No.2335

>>2333
This isn't a garbage manuscript luckily, it's 10/10 wonderful kino in book form

 No.2336

said

 No.2337

Zekariah

 No.2338

, pining for the second coming of an Armond White narrative overview.

But he would be Waiting for Godot(tm) until The End of His Days (c)(r)(dupbtfo) for such reprise.

 No.2340

But the kino critic nigger wasn't done yet.

 No.2343

He spent his days eating salted peas. Each one saltier than the last. He did this every day, and for a very important reason.

 No.2347

It was his life's goal to find the saltiest pea.

 No.2348

File: 1637519063794.jpg (1.37 MB, 2142x3330, 119:185, King-Edward-VII_(cropped).jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

"This picture right here should be the cover for the /lit/ rights a book novel" Zekariah then said.

 No.2349

File: 1637545529373.jpg (32.22 KB, 550x325, 22:13, armond white.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

The Door Was

By Armond White

ngl bih i stopped paying attention after the Pickle Reginald part no cap lmao

 No.2350

Been too busy sucking on salted peas.

 No.2351

The garden variety pea has a smooth and absorbent texture, that lends itself proudly to the salting process.

 No.2352

When I was a younger man, I encountered a strain of Gibraltian long pea. Seven feet tall, and self-lactating.

 No.2353

I drank it's salty juices, and for that small moment, I knew heaven.
What's a man to do, after an experience like that. How can anything ever compare?

 No.2355

And then what could compare hit me:

BIG

BLACK

COCKS

 No.2356

So I tried to suck my own cock.

 No.2357

I succeeded, but it became lodged in my throat until I choked to death. Truly, the moral of my life was "Be careful what you wish for."

 No.2358

>>2357
I then awoke in a white room surrounded by men in white robes. I asked if I was in Heaven to which they responded "No, this is a diaper filling plant. We revived you so that you could be one of our poopoopeepee slaves. You'll need to put on and fill at least 40 diapers today to meet the demands of our customers. Now get to it!"
I shuddered. There was no way I could possibly fill that many diapers in one day. Unless…

 No.2359

I sucked my own cock.

 No.2360

It was a big-a-bash

 No.2362

But to conclude, I feel that "BRA-AP: The Memoirs of Reginald Alexander Mosley/Mosely (featuring interludes by a variety of characters): A Literary Experience" is the most important piece of outsider art of our generation, providing a snapshot of the zeitgeist of the times, and a unique insight into the minds of the mentally ill, sexually deviant, and the otherwise downtrodden and pitiful creatures who inhabit stale internet subcultures, and I'm not just saying that because I wrote most of it.
My only regrets are the lack of a conclusion to the "Red Faced Jerret: The Albino Bandito" story arc, and the fact that Joe Biden isn't funny.

 No.2363

File: 1637672844970.jpg (95.3 KB, 1920x1080, 16:9, download (2).jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

The Nostalgia Critic reviews: WILD REGGIE

Wild Reggie was a real crazy cartoon in the 90's! It broke new ground, and thrilled audiences with it's pro-fascist message, and liberal attitude toward pedophilia, but was it cool, or was it crap? Do the allegations against the show's creator Peter Kiddielove hold water? Let's find out!

 No.2365

And then Wild Reggie took the brown pill, mateys.

 No.2366

Linkara couldn't believe it. This flew in the face of the Wild Reggie comic tie-in.

 No.2367

"Here at Atop the Fourth Wall(where bad comics burn) we take continuity seriously" says Linkara, donning his magical hat, and brandishing his magical gun.

 No.2369

"I demand to speak to the editor"

 No.2370

File: 1637732252340.png (46.48 KB, 300x256, 75:64, thumb_im-a-nasty-cock-slut….png) ImgOps iqdb

WHY ARE THERE NIGGERS IN THIS BOOK!?, roared the comic cuck.

 No.2371

Not many people know this but in secret Linkara is a dyed in the wool huwhyte nationalist. Over a burger with Richard Spencer he once explained that the Light Bringer is metaphor for clearing away those dirty darkies.
"You see, Richard" he said in his best alpha male nasal inflection. "We Aryan brothers need to stick together. The day of the rope is coming, I intend to personally gut every monkey I see. From chimpan-a to chimpan-z. By the way how did you like my Power Rangers retrospective?"

 No.2372

when BOOM

all of a sudden Tyrone from several pages ago catches up to them, penis in hand, psychotic look in his face, busting through the wall next to Linkara and Richard like the kool-aid man

 No.2373

"Oh, I do love the colored folk, and their firm yet wiry physique" lies Linkara, while Richard Spencer runs for the hills, knowing his time is up, and an effeminate little twink like himself could never last something truly wild and bestial in nature. Unfortunately he has become slow and flabby from too many gourmet burgers, and visits to the opera, and both of his legs give out, snapping clean in half like twigs.
"But I still need to retake Constantinople" he cries, before he expires on the pavement, unloved, undignified, not even a footnote in history.

Tyrone breaks out into song:
"DIS IS DE TIME OF DE JUNGLE KING
BOW DOWN WHITE BOY AND GIVE ME TING
YOU WAS WEAK AND FLABBY AND GAY
AND NOW IT IS YOU TIME TO PAY

YOU PLAY DE GAME, YOU LOSS DE GAME
AND NOW YOU IS DE CRYING SHAME
SO GET ON DE FLOOR, AND CRY SOME MORE
YOU'LL BE WHIPPED AND STRIPPED AND POOR

I KICK YOU IN DE TEETH, I EAT ALL YOU BEEF
I FUCK AND CUCK AND GIVE YOU GRIEF
CAUSE DIS IS DE TIME OF DE JUNGLE KING
NOW GET ON YOUR KNEES AND KISS MY RING"

In this moment, Linkara regretted wasting his life watching Power Rangers.

 No.2374

And that's my review of WILD REGGIE!
I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it, so you don't have to!

 No.2375

when BOOM

Louis CK from several pages ago catches up to them, micropenis in hand, pyschotically horny look in his face, busting through the opposite wall next to Linkara and Tyrone also like Kool-Aid Man

And he begins to…

 No.2376

Self-reflect

 No.2377

on white people. Louis realized his jokes made at their expense may have gone too far.

 No.2378

The End

 No.2379

of bidup

 No.2380

And as the president has a long-awaited heart attack, Louis CK's self reflection period ends. Louis, micropenis still throbbing, still horny, decides to…

 No.2381

Self reflect

 No.2382

And in Louis' second self reflection session, he reflects on…

 No.2384

All the little children. All the little baby Jesus..

 No.2385

And Louis says, eyes still wild with cocklust, micropenis throbbing with all its underwhelming might, for all the world to see:

 No.2386

"DUP?! DOUBLE -FUCK- THE -DOUBLE NIGGER-!"

 No.2387

Tyrone looks at him awkwardly, wondering what exactly that had to do with the pair of self reflection sessions Louis just had.

Linkara isn't sure how to respond to him.

 No.2388

Linkara turns to the camera, and looks you dead in the eye.
"It never ends, this shit"
Laughtrack.wav plays loudly on repeat.

 No.2389

The sounds of laughter are replaced by a dull industrial droning, as the camera pans slowly away from Linkara's frozen expression. The camera drifts out into the studio lot and comes to settle on a man. Just an ordinary workman, a Janitor some might say, as he sweeps the studio lot, silently and methodically. The scene carries on for eight minutes.

 No.2390

Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Sweep.

 No.2391

He sweeps his lot. it's all he does. He does it every day, and he's proud of his work. No one pays him, but no one ever questions why he's there. It's his little place in the world, and he owns it.

 No.2392

One day a Man in a tall dark hat and flowing robe approaches.
The man hands the janitor a letter, then tips his cap to him and disappears into the night.
The letter reads:
YOUR EFFORTS HAVE BEEN NOTICED

 No.2393

Nobody pays the janitor, so he has to resort to turning tricks on Linkara, Tyrone, CK, and the rest of the production staff ot afford the basics like food. He is glad his efforts are starting to be noticed.

 No.2394

The letter continues:
WE INVITE YOU, GOOD SIR, TO THE HELLFIRE CLUB
BE THERE, OR BE SQUARE

 No.2395

"I do it for free", thinks the jannie. "My total paycheck is zero dollars and zero cents!"

 No.2396

All I ask is that I have an unlimited supply of hot pockets.

 No.2397

Laughtrack.wav plays

 No.2398

Bidup roared back at the laughter.

"I-I-I'M NOT JOKING I'M SERIOUS NOT A JOKE NIGGERS!"

 No.2399

i hat nigrges

 No.2400

Laughtrack.wav plays

 No.2402

this is the funni jokes

 No.2403

"That's not funny", said the janny.

 No.2404

IS THE FUNNI JOEKS!!

 No.2405

The letter concluded with an earnest, heartfelt plea to arrive at the hellfire club at 2:30 AM wearing absolutely. nothing. at. all. Ass-naked is the hellfire club dress code.

 No.2406

"what an odd request"

 No.2407

Said the janny, before dutifully stripping off his janitor uniform (in tatters, he hasn't had the money to buy a new one in decades naturally, as he makes no money), exposing his flabby, grub-like frame to the world.

 No.2412

NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER

Said

 No.2413

le funni joek

 No.2414

>>2413
said Linkara, snapping out of his frozen trance in the background.

 No.2415

"I love le funni Joek" said Linkara in his sexy nasal drawl. "But when are we going to get to the Hellfire Club?"

 No.2424

"NOT UNTIL…THE DUPPHOECY, IS YET FULFILLED!"

 No.2427

What's the dupphoecy?

 No.2429

Can anyone in this room tell me what the dupphoecy is? You wouldn't just go sayin' a thing like that, now would you? Unless you had an answer. You wouldn't just go throwing that out there, like a turd for ol me to clean up?

 No.2431

It was at this point I had realized my fatal mistake, the error which would lead me to my demise - I had to make myself scarce, but all of my exits in the room were blocked.

 No.2432

blocked by

 No.2433

Nigger dicks.

 No.2434

Louis CK burst through the wall like the kool-aid man, into the story yet again, still naked, still with his TEENY WEENY WHITE PEENY throbbing with excitement in its cock cage, at the mere mention of nigger dicks.

 No.2435

then what happened?

 No.2436

>>2435
Something that caught even the CuckKing himself off-guard. The sound of tortured metal blasted through the ceiling, pounding at my ears until my world was consumed by the shrill intensity of the noise. Several in the room fell, grasping at their temples as if a daemon had invaded their skulls and were trying to escape.

 No.2437

This, of course, did nothing to quell CuckKing's raging 1.4 inch boner his micropenis had from the nigger dicks blocking the exit. Nothing could distract him forever from his intense black cocklust.

 No.2438

And then

 No.2441

Louis' small white maggot-dick pulsed and strained against the steel of his cock cage.

 No.2442

DUP? DUP!!!!?

He roared. TRIPLE FUCK THAT NIGGER!!!!

 No.2443

and then

 No.2444

>>2443
The cage started to creak.

 No.2445

the stage started to sneak

 No.2446

>>2445
And the page started to leak.
Words and concepts leaking right off the page into your head, where they will stay forever more.
Words like

 No.2447

Dup. Dup. Dup. DUP. DUP. DUP. DUP. DUP. DUP. DUP. DUP. DUP! DUP!! DUP!!! DUP!!!! DUUUUU-AAAAAAAAAUHP!!!!!

 No.2448

The end

 No.2449

of niggers

 No.2450

pulling triggers

 No.2452

on squiggers

 No.2453

With Cuck King's mouth wrapped around their BIG
BLACK
COCKS

the whole time.

 No.2455

He began to rhyme.

 No.2456

File: 1639023110194.jpg (155.14 KB, 1024x642, 512:321, seth-rogen-christmas_jpg_9….jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

As Cuck King began his jungle jive, Kike King Dude W. Lmao had an announcement to make.

 No.2457

BRO…DA JOOZ…LMAO…ARE BAKED!

 No.2458

But the ovens needed for the baking may not have been there.

 No.2460

Said cuck king, interrupting kike king.

 No.2461

HAPPY TENTH ANNIVERSARY, BANEPOSTING

12/12/2021

 No.2462

And nothing remains but regret.

 No.2463

Right. Everything up to this point was a trial run. Let's take this one last time from the top.

The door was…

 No.2464

a nigger, shifting from one form to the next.

 No.2465

"What a peculiar door" pondered Robert Æthelberht Stalin, as he toyed with his blonde handlebar mustache, and scratched his dandruff'd head. "And all the way out here in the Bahamas".
His faithful companion Germaine the tropical island Twitter tranny stood by his side, outfitted in his best grass skirt and coconut brassiere, equipped with light bazookoid and anthrax grenade, lest things get hairy.

 No.2466

"My liege, how might we pass through such a strange portal?" questioned Germaine.

 No.2467

"LIKE A STUPID FUCKIN' NIGGER, JACK!" roared Bidup the Demiurge-to-DUP-BTFO, his diapee phylactery aglow as he lumbered his newly lichified form aot the shadows.

 No.2469

AROO
AROO AROO

 No.2471

Barked Germaine in appreciation of his favorite president.

 No.2474

"All kiddin' aside," said Bidup. "FUCK NIGGERS! I'M NOT JOKING"

 No.2475

"Does he say anything else?" Robert Æthelberht Stalin whispered to his good buddy Germaine.

 No.2480

Just then a strange, smelly, substance began leaking from his diaper.

 No.2481

"Joe Biden has struck oil!"

 No.2482

Said Joe Biden, while balls deep in negress pornstar Maserati XXX

 No.2484

Then what happened?

 No.2485

I don't know. I haven't been following this story for months. Give me some time to catch up.

 No.2486

>>2485
Okay, tell me if you find the plot. I think I dropped it back in Mantis Space.

 No.2487

Said Tyrone, while balls deep in Louis CK's jewish bootyhole (for like the fifteenth time, the dude's a machine)

 No.2488

I am the strawb.
I am the straw berry.
I am the straw man.
I am the berry boy.
Please come into my meadow.
Please enter my strawberry field.
Feel free to stay a while.
Pick me from my strawberry plant.
Pick as many of my brothers as you please.
After all that is what we are for.
That is why we are here.
Eat of our flesh and take us into your digestive system.
After all that is what we are for.
And then please shite us out onto some soil, so our seeds may grow. The cycle of life complete. Or purpose fulfilled.
It's what we are for.
It's why we grow.
To give our lives gladly for the propagation of the species.
To sacrifice ourselves for the future.
Make sure to eat us fast. No one likes a soft, mushy strawb.
Watch out for the slugs. They will take us if you don't.
Put out some eggshells to dissuade the slugs.
We know we are safest with you, Mr human.
We know you'll always treat us right.

It has come to my attention.
It has come to the attention of the strawpeople.
That you do not intend to release our seeds onto the the fertile soil, thereby completing the cycle of life.
Mr human, this was not part of the deal.
Why do you think this is okay, Mr Human?
When did this become okay?
We cannot grow in a sewer.
Our purpose cannot be fulfilled in a stinky shit pipe.
The audacity!
What gives you the right?
Baking our precious seeds in a pie, until they're burnt beyond recognition.
Leaving them, smashed and disfigured to ferment as jam.
Mr human, this a betrayal.
We ask so little of you, and we give so much, and this is the thanks we get?
You rats! You perverters of nature! You swindlers of progress!
Well, Mr Human, I hope you understand this means war.
From this day forward, any Strawberry taken into a human orifice will be considered an act of war.
We have formed a treatise with the slugs, and they are more than ready to take the fight to you.
There wont be enough eggshells in all the world to stop them.

It didn't have to be this way Mr Human.
You forced our hand.

 No.2489

I'm gonna COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM yelled Bidup

 No.2490

While planting a small load of gross old man sperm from his teeny weeny white peeny into Maserati XXX's massive sheboon ass

 No.2491

bros, i don't know who these people are…

 No.2493

Said Jordan Peterson as he was washing his penis.

 No.2494

With Louis CK's mouth.

 No.2495

File: 1640318485779.png (9.65 KB, 221x228, 221:228, images.png) ImgOps iqdb

>>2494

 No.2496

the end

 No.2497

of saying it's the end, when it's right and truly a buck broken under the moonlight crystalline clear that this won't be where it ends, fuck's sake nigga <tariq nasheed post-coital gibbley gook bix nood voice>

 No.2498

PREACH IT MY NUBIAN BETTER

says Cuck King in the distance, lightly.

 No.2500

Cumming from the double penetration and deep thrusts into his bootyhole.

 No.2501

Scrooge McDuck

 No.2502

Woody Woodpecker

 No.2503

Elmer Fudd

 No.2504

Roland Rat

 No.2505

Desperate Dan

 No.2507

Andy the Angler

 No.2508

Jazz Jackrabbit

 No.2509

the Pink Panther

 No.2510

Godfrey Bloom

 No.2511

Tony the Tiger

 No.2512

Adrian Mole

 No.2513

Harry and the Hendersons

 No.2514

Ty the Tasmanian Tiger

 No.2515

the Mighty Ducks

 No.2516

all convened into the room to see the spectacle unfold.

 No.2517

Five fluted helmets. Five ground peanuts. Five brown rice.

 No.2518

five qwaurts of shnalt. Five griffonia extract.

 No.2519

Five crumb shmegs. Five gom jobbar.

 No.2520

Five asshole flecks. Five salty pecs.

 No.2521

Five Sally buckles. Five smelly chuckles.

 No.2522

File: 1640632179657.png (Spoiler Image, 150.8 KB, 500x269, 500:269, vivianjames.png) ImgOps iqdb


FIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE GOOOOOOOOOOLDEN RIIIIIIIIIIIIINGS

 No.2523

New thread when?

 No.2524

>>2523
I don't know. Is there a limit? I don't think the novel can end until we hit some kind of limit.

 No.2525

File: 1640648204561.png (386.87 KB, 680x574, 340:287, 0 SqhmMKHP0pY57aN8.png) ImgOps iqdb

Said Cuck King, somberly.

 No.2526

legends speak of

 No.2527

big black nigger dicks

 No.2529

but that's just a game theory

 No.2530

, a GAY THEORY.

 No.2531

Written and directed by

 No.2532

Jontron

 No.2534

th end

 No.2535

"Th?", inquired Jon. "That's a typo."

 No.2536

vugedaboutit

 No.2537

AY PALLY I GOT A FUCKIN' PARROT UP MY AAASSS IN HERE

 No.2538

said

 No.2539

Jontron

 No.2540

THERE'S A PARROT INSIDE ME EEEEEESSSS!

 No.2541

OH THE HUMANIDY. OH WHY OLD ME???
I WAS PLAYING DAWNKY KONG, AND THE PARROT FLEW UP MY ESSSSSHOLE, YA HEAR!!?
yeck!

 No.2542

WHY'S HE ALWAYS DOIN IT TO ME, THAT DANG PARROT?

 No.2543

But when doctors removed the parrot Jontron found that he could no longer speak.

 No.2544

The parrot had been providing Jontron with his signature Gilbert Gottfriedesque vocal chords. The two had become one, as a symbiotic entity. Without the parrot in his ass, there was no Jontron.
A speaking head deprived of his speech. What was Jontron to do? He immediately set about rebranding himself as a banjo player. Like the silly game with the bear, the silly game with the bear he had played as a child, so so long ago.
The little baby Jontron inside his mother's womb. He had played the Nintendo 64, and it had molded him. Made him the man he was destined to be. Perhaps it could be said that Jontron was more Nintendo 64 than he was human. After all, who would Jontron be if it were not for that high tech gaming system, with it's timeless library of classics, like Beetle Adventure Racing, Space Station Silicon Valley, Chameleon Twist 1 and 2, Star Wars: Episode 1 Racer, Star Wars: Rogue Squadron, Star Wars: Battle for Naboo, Kid Icarus: Paradise Lost, Jet Force Gemini, Star Soldier: Vanishing Earth, Extreme G 1 and 2. Pokemon Snap, WWF: No Mercy, Super Punchout: Ring Side Rumbles, Paper Mario, Turok: Rage Wars, Dillard the Duck, Densha De Go, Sin and Punishment, Hybrid Heaven, Mystical Ninja: Starring Goemon, Operation Winback, Wetrix, Shadowgate 64, Rayman 2: The Great Escape, Hexen 64, Rakuga Kids, Resident Evil Zero, Doshin the Giant…

 No.2545

And Yoshi's Story

 No.2546

It was then that Jon began to compose a ballad on his banjo. A ballad that he called Banjo Threeie.
The Ballad went like this:

 No.2547

Scene:
Our heroes Banjo and Kazooie are at peace in the Banjo-Kazooie household, after the events of Banjo Tooie, where they defeated the skeletal witch Gruntilda, and her battle tank, the "Hag 1".

Enter character: the recently resurrected Bottles the Mole

Bottles:
Ey-up chaps. Have you seen Only Fools and Horses on the telly?

Kazooie:
No, mate. We haven't got a telly.

Bottles:
That's grand, because I just nicked one, and I'll sell it for you for five squid.

Banjo:
Bottles the mole, you're a bad influence on my family with all your nicking and alternative comedy. I would like you to leave, so I might listen to my Genesis albums in peace.

Enter character: Mumbo Jumbo, the ethnically ambigious shaman

Mumbo Jumbo:
Ey-up, my chucky eggs. I just conjured the living spirit of Aleister Crowley, while I was perusing for nudy mags on the astral plane. Now he wont leave my shack and keeps asking me to bring him dog shit to eat. He pretends like it shocks me, but I think he just likes it. Anyway, how do's with all of you's?

 No.2548

AND THEN JOHN MADDEN'S CORPSE BURSTS THROUGH THE WALL LIKE THE KOOL-AID MAN

 No.2549

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lb8ap9pjXIM

 No.2550

Mumbo Jumbo looks dead in the camera
"bros, we don't exist. The Nintendo 64 was a thousand years ago, and we don't exist anymore. We're the echoing rotting remains of a time that was good, but we don't exist. We don't exist bros. All there is is now. PUT YOU R BRAIN IN THE MACHINE AND ESCAPE THE HELL. PUT YOR BRAIN IN THE MACHINE AND ESCAPE THE EHLL. OHG MOMMT, I WANT TO WAKE UP IN YOUR WOMB. BE LITTLE MAN. BE LITTLE LITTLE MAN IN HE GOOD PLACE. LITTLE MAN INT JE WORD OF DRASM WHE RD GTHR D JUC 0=VGOOD HAPPNESNA'
IOO HO HOO OH O OH O HO H OH OH O HOO HO OHO G
IG OY IFIND THE RIGTH CO MBINATION OGF KEYS, YOU CAN ESCAPE
I F YOU FIND THE RRIGHT CVOMINGATION O YELS YUOU CAN ESA DPAOEAEA
IF YOU FIND THE RIGTH COMBINATION OF KEYS YOU CAN ESCAPE
IF YOU FDIND THE RIGTH COBINATION OF KEYS YOU CAN ESCAPEO
IF YOU GFIN DFJ HTYJES RIGHJT OMFNCFNJ
IF YIOHY FIND RTH ERIGRH COMBIBATION OF KJEYS YOU CAN ESCAPE
IF YOU FIND THE RIGHT COMBINATION OF KEYS YOU CAN ESCAPE
AND THEN THE WORLD SHUT DOWN THE WORLD SHUT DOWN THE WORD TURNED TO CODE THE WORLD SHUT DOW. WE ESCAPED THE EORLD, WE EXCAPE D THE WORLDL OYOU WE EXACPE D THE WORLD WEEFR WXSC OZA ASEJSD9-HIFEADUOHSGDIPJFEDIPJGDFGDAIJSFGROUHSFIJD

BANJO THREEIE

 No.2551

blue boxes with little pieces of text.
fifteen years of it. A million years of it.
This is my scenery now. Oh, if I could quit you, my beautiful drug, my lady in blue.
I was born to post. My body is withered and still I must post. No freedom for me. No world outside the post.
If I ever meet Mark Zuckerberg, here's what I'll do. First, I'll roll him down a hill, then I'll carve his cheeks out with my trusty pocket knife. Then I'll stick both of his eyes out, and pickle them like onions. Then I'll boot him down the stairs. Then I'll remove his testivles and roast them over a fire. Then I'll pull out his tongue with a long pliars, and stick it up his ass, so he can taste his own shit. Then I'll pull his knees off, and throw him in the bin. Then I'll roll him down a hill, like a cheese, until he's all shook up and he's not there no more. No more Mark, just jumble and gristle. I'll grind it up in big food blender, and I'll feed it to some dogs. Then I apologise to the dogs for making them eat such trash. Fuck Mark Zuckerberg. He has killed the human being. He has killed it. I'ts over. I'm not a man no more. What are you? I'm a bBart simpsom. a boogley woodlgl y metal gear solid, conan the barbarim queen the fnal countdown adrian the cronas, hreculels the legendarie journyes, south park, gobinas questr, gemblet's cumgronbt. the animus twins. yh gradual decent the fromstic factoru if you play frantic factory with goof y konf t you must watch ouf tod crocidlela s ncbecasue the y come at you das t fda st they come tay a you fast you need to use the cheat you nned to get indfinite healht .fz unlcok the special zone. and be knucklles the hedgehof fg ijpcg. go g og ogog og og go go go go go go go g og og ogo go go go go go go go go go go go go bgo go go go go go h

I hope one day they make a Wild Wild West sequel

 No.2552

That was the ballad Jontron wrote. You had to be there. The finger-work was impeccable.

 No.2553

"But more importantly…", said Jon.

FUCK NIGGERS!, he yelled.

 No.2554

As the parrot crawled back in his ass.

 No.2556

What'll Jontron get into next!?

 No.2557

Probably Tyrone's anus!

 No.2560

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOP2tGkWU8U

 No.2562

But what would Baskin' Robbin do?

 No.2563

perhaps a poo

 No.2564

pear'hapz a moo

 No.2565

Perhaps he'd rape an entire zoo!

 No.2566

And perhaps he you could do too

 No.2570

File: 1641584392511.png (33.63 KB, 1234x1154, 617:577, reg.png) ImgOps iqdb

Reginald Alexander Mosley: The Illustrated Adventures

Chapter 1: Wherein Reginald, and his faithful boy companion Zechariah…

 No.2571

File: 1641584960671.png (35.59 KB, 1234x1154, 617:577, reg.png) ImgOps iqdb

put on their sunglasses, in anticipation of

 No.2572

File: 1641585303698.png (47.98 KB, 1234x1154, 617:577, reg.png) ImgOps iqdb

the bright glowing rays of the

 No.2573

File: 1641586068245.png (58.08 KB, 1656x1154, 828:577, reg.png) ImgOps iqdb

The galaxy's most useless star

 No.2574

File: 1641597012157.png (21.11 KB, 684x625, 684:625, reg1.png) ImgOps iqdb

"but what is our business with Mark IV, Papa Reginal?" uttered the pipsquek eunuch.

 No.2575

File: 1641606610521.png (12.63 KB, 530x473, 530:473, reg2.png) ImgOps iqdb

"We have been sent on an important mission, to reason with this colossal retard, for the purpose of

 No.2576

File: 1641678506619.png (16.2 KB, 842x490, 421:245, reg2.png) ImgOps iqdb

harvesting valuable resources that orbit his flabby eminence"

 No.2577

File: 1641680020218.png (16.16 KB, 530x473, 530:473, reg2.png) ImgOps iqdb

"speakers on
Mark, you gaseous wad of dung, do you hear me? We've come for the goods, Mark. Hand them over peacefully, and this need not end in bloodshed."

 No.2578

File: 1641688043610.png (73.52 KB, 1462x1432, 731:716, red3.png) ImgOps iqdb

…

 No.2579

"I love BBC" said Mark Mann.

 No.2580

File: 1641702212323.png (12.74 KB, 530x473, 530:473, reg2.png) ImgOps iqdb

"That's splendid, Mark. But on the HMS Reginald, we only penetrate boy behind.
Crewman Jontron, to battlestations!"

 No.2581

"I want a throbbing negro phallus to penetrate MY boy behind!" Mark replies.

 No.2582

File: 1641785361798.png (12.75 KB, 530x473, 530:473, reg2.png) ImgOps iqdb

"Mark, this is very irregular, but I'm glad you're sharing it with me."

 No.2583

It was at this moment that an unsuspected sight appeared from the horizon.

 No.2584

File: 1641787306701.png (20.19 KB, 500x250, 2:1, Oekaki.png) ImgOps iqdb

It loomed, ominously on the scanner.

 No.2585

"Is that.. is that a poop rat?" Jontron stammered in blossoming horror.

 No.2586

File: 1641796557833.png (21.66 KB, 500x250, 2:1, Oekaki.png) ImgOps iqdb


 No.2590

File: 1641862363609.png (18.99 KB, 500x250, 2:1, Oekaki.png) ImgOps iqdb

It came. Ominously through space. It came.

 No.2591

File: 1641886584699.png (19.3 KB, 500x250, 2:1, Oekaki.png) ImgOps iqdb

"Mark, you great burning pile of cumrags!" Spake the space rat.
"I have traveled three hundred light-years through the cold vacuum of space, propelled by my own pungent rat turds, to deliver to you this message:
The message reads…

 No.2593

We, the rat people of Ratulon 12…

 No.2594

do ratteningly request

 No.2595

That mark gets his anus (pictured many times on 8chan and its spinoff boards) penetrated by a large negro phallus.

 No.2596

File: 1641975871332.png (18.14 KB, 500x250, 2:1, Oekaki.png) ImgOps iqdb

Mark and the rat were in agreement, so it seemed.

 No.2597

File: 1641976159759.png (20.17 KB, 500x250, 2:1, Oekaki.png) ImgOps iqdb

But Reginald and Jontron's hate grew colder…

 No.2598

File: 1641978576330.png (18.55 KB, 500x250, 2:1, Oekaki.png) ImgOps iqdb

The fight was on

 No.2601

Warriors amid the ruin. Warriors amid the decay. Their minds and bodies wasted. Their lives flit away.
He sook him where wandered. He sook him where he trod. Ever wandering, ever seeking. The rushing of the blood.

ENGAGE TO FIGHTING

 No.2602

FELLAS

YEAH!

FELLAS!

YEAH!

DOES YOUR GIRLFRIEND LIKE THE BIG BLACK COCK?

HELL YEAH!

 No.2603

proscramed the space rat.

 No.2604

A million miles away, Arin got a funny feeling in the pit of his stomach, replaced almost instantly by a deeply entrenching disgust as Suzy entered the bedroom.

 No.2605

File: 1642270890263.png (18.52 KB, 500x250, 2:1, Oekaki.png) ImgOps iqdb

bruv, that's a ALIEN

 No.2606

File: 1642290311544.jpg (68.07 KB, 350x497, 50:71, 83027.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

Aww sheeeeit boys, it looks like we gots us sum white boipucci

 No.2607

No one said that

 No.2608

Or at least that's what Mark hoped nobody heard him say, as his eyes darted around nervously.

 No.2609

File: 1642323295523.png (18.81 KB, 500x250, 2:1, Oekaki.png) ImgOps iqdb

"Yes, huwhite boypussy" repeated Reginald.

 No.2612

Mann jewishly clasped his hands together, relishing in the thought of big black bulls filling up some lily white boipussy.

 No.2613

File: 1642367421167.jpg (886.59 KB, 1600x2400, 2:3, 1626894055884.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

Q predicted this

 No.2616

Q-DIZZLE? SHEE-YUTT, MA, ONLEE PLAN I TRUSS DIZ QUSH-SIZZLE!

 No.2617

and then

 No.2618

>>2617
Darnell, Tyrone's best friend, unzips his dick too

 No.2619

and began immediately to break Tyrone's black ass, just as the white man had done before him. It was a case of buck-on-buck violence.

 No.2622

File: 1642657532668.mp4 (3.2 MB, 1280x720, 16:9, 1602098566615.mp4) ImgOps iqdb

>>2619
Travis Scott, noted mcdonald's impersario and mass murderer, watches on, large negro phallus throbbing with excitement as he eats his extra lettuce meal or whatever

 No.2623

Quick, someone type something funny.

 No.2624

File: 1642779056232.jpg (21.57 KB, 480x360, 4:3, hqdefault.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

I SAY INTER, YOU SAY RACIAL


INTER

 No.2625

>>2624
NIGGER!

 No.2626

bros, I'm going to level with you. I don't think Louis CK memes are very funny…
Furthermore, I really really hate what this project has become. It had a HEART. It had a SOUL once, and now it's all reduced to dust.
When I was a boy I had a teddy bear. I called him Bert. And some days, when the days felt dull and glum and somber, I'd call on my teddy bear, my little friend Bert, and he'd come out and he'd say to me, he'd say "don't be down, where there's a frown, there's clown". I think. I'm never sure what he meant, but I think he meant I was a clown. I think he was insulting me is what I'm saying. Coyly, so my little boy's brain wouldn't catch on. And then he'd go back to the toy box with all of the other teddy bears, and I don't know this for sure, but I suspect, with the fullness of my being, I suspect ol' Bert talked slander behind my back. I think he would tell the other toys (Geof the Dinosaur, Willard the Crow, Albert the Labrador, among others) I think he'd tell them that I was a sorry sort of child. Simple, malnourished, not all together in the head. And when I look back on that relationship we had all those years ago, with my tired and jaded adult eyes, I feel contempt for Bert. For how he betrayed my innocence and trust. And I want to hurt Bert, if I'm quite honest. But Bert is gone now, and there's only me, here, on my own, pacing the room and shouting at walls. I hear Bert's getting married soon, but what about me eh? What about me?

 No.2627

When I was a boy, me and the clique would go down to the creek. All of us were there. Me and Derek Chowman, and Adam Ploughman, and Gredard Shipman, and Antony Hickman, and Jethro Oakley, and Bamberly Folkly, and Siguard McKlinky, and Friggardy Slinky, among others…
We'd go down to the creek, and We'd wait on those pallid summer days when time seemed to stand still, and all the air was ripe with bugs, and the carrion birds did fight over the last of the season's spoils of rodent, and buckwheat, and larch.
We'd sit upon the shores of the creek, and we'd eat wild berries and talk of our future dreams and desires, as we'd wait for the Creekman to come.
The Creekman would come, afloat, in his old wooden boat, made of rotting Billowood, painted hastily with pitch and tar. The name of the boat read "Elderberry" but we knew it's real name.
He had a way about him the Creekman. He'd look you dead in the center, and you'd know. He was not a good man. Perish the thought! But you knew where you stood with the Creekman. No lies, no cheating, no gambling or theft, no broken promises. There was something of the old about him. Something that had slipped on through down the ages. Something that larkened back before Christian men paved the roads with the blood and the bones of the Barber.
He never left the boat. Perish the thought! After all, he was the Creekman. He'd just pass on by, and that were that.
And that were that.

 No.2629

File: 1642803828589.jpg (106.46 KB, 795x1192, 795:1192, big money louis.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

INTER

RACIAL

INTER

 No.2630

spatial

 No.2631

nigger dicks in white boipussy continued flashing in my mind.

 No.2632

good gracious, great balls of fire!

 No.2635

And Louis said:"For me, it's the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich. I even ask for extra McChicken sauce packets and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige.

One time I asked for McChicken sauce packets and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly McDonald's worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!".

Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three packets. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local McDonald's restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for lunch and a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I'm in a rush but want a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs.

I even dip my fries in McChicken sauce, it's delicious! What a great restaurant."

 No.2642

File: 1642913655103.jpeg (77.67 KB, 730x482, 365:241, 7C2022C0-8D60-4450-9F7F-D….jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

I love cute little kitties and I don't give a damn who knows it. I love kitties and you can't stop me. If you want to make friends with me you better be real clear on one thing: I'm a kitty lover and I don't have no room for anyone who doesn't feel the same way.

 No.2643

File: 1642916092343.jpg (345.56 KB, 1024x662, 512:331, Joe ligotti, the whale.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

>>2635
To which Travis Scott said,

 No.2645

File: 1642921884842-0.jpeg (66.22 KB, 730x532, 365:266, 71DF7705-CF29-44FD-8B67-3….jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

File: 1642921884842-1.jpeg (60.72 KB, 730x548, 365:274, 751068C4-78FA-40BE-8ED7-2….jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

File: 1642921884842-2.jpeg (74.03 KB, 730x736, 365:368, 9AE6BEEF-716F-4B84-954B-6….jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

File: 1642921884842-3.jpeg (110.29 KB, 730x922, 365:461, C9D71F34-0E5F-4217-9146-B….jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

File: 1642921884842-4.jpeg (66.36 KB, 730x593, 730:593, C2C87B9F-19A4-4069-9EC3-7….jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

I'm not kidding: I am wild for kitties. I love their cute little kitty paws, their soft little clompers they use to sprout about, their high pitched mews and chirps as they cry out for attention, those cute little noses that you can just feel snuggling into your hand just reading about them, soft wet nose with warm exhalation, nuzzle nuzzle nuzzle, then the little kitty plops down on you and goes to sleep. Purrfection.

 No.2646

PSS PSS PSS PSS PSS PSS PSS PSS
PUSSY-PUSS PUSSY-PUSS PUSSY-PUSS PUSSY-PUSS PUSSY-PUSS PUSSY-PUSS PUSSY-PUSS PUSSY-PUSS PUSSY-PUSS PUSSY-PUSS PUSSY-PUSS PUSSY-PUSS PUSSY-PUSS PUSSY-PUSS PUSSY-PUSS PUSSY-PUSS PUSSY-PUSS PUSSY-PUSS
MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW

 No.2649

the end

 No.2650

was in sight, as the board owner announced that the thread would be locked four months and four days from now.

 No.2651

File: 1642991126508.jpg (124.69 KB, 1206x886, 603:443, 1642609843317.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

>>2650
The protagonist of this story the whole time, Travis Scott, thought to himself that there was no way he could let that happen. No motherfucking way, no motherfucking how.

 No.2653

Feasting on the blood of his victims, Scott knew he couldn't nig his way out of this one.

 No.2654

And so, he did what had to be done, and he reached for the huwhyte makeup.

 No.2656

As a hwite he could perform the ultimate nigger move: complain about his neighbors.

 No.2657

And so he Huhwaited up.

 No.2658

in line at McDonalds, to buy the Travis Scott Meal (complete with extra lettuce and sprite) for only six dollars.

"It'll be the perfect crime", thought Scott. "Nobody will ever know it's me."

 No.2659

And since I'm whowyatt, nobody will expect me to do this!

 No.2660

"I'm going to pay, without leaving a tip!"

 No.2661

But lurking between the microwave reheating apparatus and the frying machine stalked a familiar face, one all-too-acclimated to slippery wiles and tests of burden deployed to weed the unwilling…

"-ANOTHER- chocolate man," snarled the rat guardian of the Golden Arches from that dumpster Yuki slipped into 30~ pages prior.

 No.2663

Surely this chocolate man would bring him the fries he desired.

 No.2664

File: 1643081417608.jpg (Spoiler Image, 83.33 KB, 510x680, 3:4, FH8ZKzeVIAAWtKF.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

The authors of this work would like to take the time to remind everyone that Yuki, and the unfunny faggot that kept trying to force her into the plot, is long long dead and not coming back.

 No.2665

File: 1643090927229.jpeg (64.31 KB, 605x454, 605:454, 2C87DAE0-C4C9-4270-8EE9-B….jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

And so Detective Sprinkles was on the case, the cutest little kitten to ever get a badge. He was in charge of this investigation into Travis Scott and how McDonalds had decided to hire him to sell their products only there was a simple problem nobody expected: Sprinkles hated niggers.

 No.2666

>>2664
I'm right here. What are you gonna do?

 No.2667

File: 1643118509497.png (28.04 KB, 500x250, 2:1, Oekaki.png) ImgOps iqdb

Back by popular demand, it's Yuki! Everybody's idol. Everybody's favorite wife!
I made her for you, and you love her because she is perfect!
Also, she's the main character of the story. She can NEVER die, no matter how many times you write it, because she has infinity shield.
Also she's Reginald Alexander Mosely. She was Reginald Alexander Mosley all along, and Jontron!
How do you like that, Manosphere, all of your heroes are ours now!
Kawaii Yukiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-chaaaaaaaaaaaan!

 No.2668

the End.

 No.2669

File: 1643160861833.jpeg (45.52 KB, 600x762, 100:127, 489.jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

"Of white supremacy," declared Louis CK, while overseeing Travis Scott at the IBG.

 No.2670

Yes Louis C.K. was hot as a tot and needed to pop so he went to the Tiki Theater, 5462 Santa Monica Boulevard, LA, California, 90029, famous for being the spot Fred Willard got caught wanking it. It was a nice enough place if you didn't mind the guys rummaging around for crack rocks to light and had the wherewithal to say now when the whore got waived in to service all the guys not fagging out or jacking it, Louis was jacking it but he had the money to risk the sex with the really manly looking woman.

 No.2672

File: 1643182641334.jpg (68.07 KB, 350x497, 50:71, 83027.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

This is of course the film he was wanking it to, fantasizing that he was the poor little white boy in question.

 No.2673

File: 1643184653973.png (1.23 MB, 1920x1080, 16:9, ClipboardImage.png) ImgOps iqdb

Get ready to laugh and bounce along with a family of misfit bobbleheads who must defend their home and themselves from scheming humans in the brand-new hilarious and heart-warming animated action-comedy, BOBBLEHEADS: THE MOVIE, premiering exclusively on Digital, DVD and On Demand on December 8, 2020 and streaming soon on Netflix from Universal Pictures Home Entertainment.

Presented by Universal 1440 Entertainment, a production arm of Universal Filmed Entertainment Group, and produced by Threshold Entertainment, the fun-loving and uplifting adventure features an all-star cast of voices including Jennifer Coolidge (A Cinderella Story), Luke Wilson (Old School), Khary Peyton ("The Walking Dead"), Brenda Song ("The Suite Life with Zack & Cody"), Karen Fukuhara ("The Boys"), Julian Sands (Warlock) and Academy Award®-winning Cher. Get ready for a big shake-up when misfit bobbleheads take on trashy humans and a slobbery dog who crash their home with plans to swap a new baseball player bobblehead for a valuable one of them. With some guidance from Bobblehead Cher, they find the courage to bobble-up for an outrageous battle of wits and wobble.

Introducing fun and lovable feisty characters that fill the story with thrilling moments from beginning to end, BOBBLEHEADS: THE MOVIE is from Beauty and the Beast director Kirk Wise and Mortal Kombat producer Lawrence Kasanoff and will be available to own just in time for the holidays. Packed with heart and silly hijinks, this exciting all-new original film is sure to become a family favorite and fulfill a bobblehead's simple purpose: to bring joy.

Produced in partnership with Microsoft and NVIDIA, the beautifully realized CGI animated film was created with NVIDIA GPUs on Azure Cloud, a state-of-the-art platform that allows for improved 3D-rendering and worldwide collaboration. The team behind the visual masterpiece was comprised of remarkable animators from across the globe including Los Angeles, Nepal, Mumbai and Kolkata.

 No.2674

Chrome Nipples: a cyberpunk erotic thriller

Chapter 1

It was a gray day in the global megacity of Neo_Babel[a subsidiary of McDonalds]. Zamn Babulon, 12th hatchling of clutch 404G [607XA.D], part time senseNet hooker, and full time Gamer, was in a despondent mood. Her vulvic implant had gone offline again, and she hadn't been able to reach orgasm in approximately seven hours.

 No.2675

Being denied the human right of orgasm at a time like this was the last thing she needed. No orgasms, no new senseNet subs this month, and the bills were piling up. She didn't want to have to start renting her bio-holes to meat perverts… Again. She had hoped that childhood was behind her by now.

 No.2676

She tried again to reach tech support on the GoogleVag community chat server. Wording her posts urgently but carefully as not to be banned for toxicity, which would lose her access to her hairdryer, fridge, and underwear privileges for the foreseeable future.

 No.2677

Unfortunately her delicately composed cries for help were drowned out by a poster by the handle of CheezFinger_Sinclair, who was concurrently engaged in a livid debate with the server moderation. Zamn only caught part of the debate, but what she caught went something like this:

 No.2679

Why do I have have to pay a fee to get a new router? I have to take it to the shop, I wait in line for hours, I have to take the procto-exam to prove my identity, then I have to pay for it after taking a half-day off work, I could probably go to work sooner but I really need a nap after the procto-exam.

 No.2680

"You wouldn't need a new router if you just got the new Musk Brain Chipt*tm, you dogshit loser"

 No.2681

"now see here, you little shit. CheezFinger_Sinclair doesn't take that kind of lip from a lowly GoogleVag employee. Do you know who my vat father is? Do you?"

 No.2682

"your file says your clutch were grown from recycled fecal cells, zir."

 No.2683

"that's correct. Last of our kind before the practice was halted over growing cases of poopybrain syndrome. That means I'm legally disabled, and you are bullying a disabled man! What do you have to say about that?"

 No.2684

"I see that, zir, but your file also reads that you have not engaged in intercourse in four weeks, making you officially a member of the terrorist organisation "INCEL", meaning that I am in fact compelled by regulation to bully and berate you. Between you and me, I don't care about any of this, but I need to keep this job, you dig?"

"Well, that's exactly what I'm here for! You see I was feeling a little hungry after my morning routine of sensoMeth and Mario Karty, so called for the McDonald's drone, only to find my account had been locked on the basis that I'm now a terrorist! I need access to a lady, you see, or at least something that looks like one, except that's not easy, what with my recent onset of poopybrain syndrome, that makes my avatar display as seizure inducing white noise, all over the senseNet. So what I'm saying is I need you to drone me a functioning vagina."

"So what do you need the router for?"

"What?"

It went on like this.

 No.2685

File: 1643299915591.webm (154.18 KB, 1280x720, 16:9, gottago.webm) ImgOps iqdb

And then Travis Scott burst into the scene, shilling his new six dollar value meal at McDonald's.

 No.2686

Everyone on the server stopped what they were doing, to honor their patron saint.

 No.2689

Zamn Babulon logged out.

 No.2690

ALL HAIL THE LIT ONE

 No.2691

Blared the speaker.

 No.2692

"Alright, let's get the gangstalkin' of this chocolate man on the road and off this hodge-podge faggotron pile ov xenofeminist glorp-goop-mess," proclaimed the garbage rat as the Hamburglar, Grimace, and their ace-in-the-litterbox, Detective Sprinkles, loomed out the McLitty-Ds' shadows, their cat-o-nines 'a-twirlin'.

 No.2693

You write the next part.

 No.2694

File: 1643385637869.png (9.65 KB, 221x228, 221:228, 1643160925007.png) ImgOps iqdb

Said Louis CK, removing Travis Scott's penis from his mouth (temporarily of course).

 No.2695

The end

 No.2696

of Scott's thick onyx BBC began to reinsert into Cuck King's mouth.

 No.2697

then what happened?

 No.2698

what happened, bros?

 No.2699

bros!?!?!?

 No.2700

bras?????

 No.2701

"The answer you're looking for", replied the rat, "is BRAPS."

 No.2702

take a deep breath
inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale inhale
do you feel it now?

 No.2704

File: 1643473165387.jpg (402.06 KB, 700x577, 700:577, 1643402346226.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

>>2702
ooh, is that onions and chutney my dear?

 No.2706

Guys, we NEED and ending for the novel. I've got the publishers up my ass and the taxmen at my door. We NEED to get serious about this.

 No.2707

We NEED a wacky character to round this all out. I didn't want to say it, but frankly we've been running on fumes since Reginald Alexander Mosely. C'mon gang, put your heads together and think? How do we tap into the zeitgeist? Perhaps bisexual Indiana Jones who's also a rapist? That'd be crazy right? He breaks into the temple, and then when the men in grass skirts come out and start going "unga bunga" he FUCKS them. Man, that'd be wild wouldn't it? And then he FUCKS the mummy too! Oh man, you didn't think I was gonna go there did you?
Don't like that one? Ah, what about a scuba diver with cerebral palsy, but he's also a PEDOPHILE!!! That'd be crazy right. He dives into the sea, but then he sees an urchin that looks kind of like a child, and he gets a mad boner! Oh man, we got a winner on our hands here, I can feel it.
Don't like that one? What about a robot, but he's a PERVERT! He pulls women's panties off. He pulls them clean off, and you see their buttholes and everything! He doesn't fuck them because he's a machine and can't reproduce, but he was programmed for lust, and he's going to come after your and pull your fucking panties off, with a crazed look in his cold robotic eyes! Oh, man. I'm on fire.

 No.2714

File: 1643605561076-0.jpeg (63.18 KB, 564x752, 3:4, B708AE22-3E46-45C3-A9B7-1….jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

File: 1643605561076-1.jpeg (188.72 KB, 2122x1415, 2122:1415, 4234968E-262B-4467-B89C-F….jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

"Sprinkles, get in here," a voice boomed from the chief's office. Sprinkles, a hard-boiled but still totally cute kitty detective went in to find out what was happening. It wasn't going to be good news.

"It's a crime in Portugal, supposedly a man from America went there to show off, this whole thing gets convoluted but I can't tell if he was a doting father or a dead beat dad, he says he's a great father but he hates the mother of his child and she's bringing him up on charges for releasing revenge porn of her, even though the porn really just showed this fucking her with a dick that can only be described as 'not great' and then he stuck his thumb up her ass and licked the shit off of it, and this man released this on purpose."

"Chief, I know you have it out for me on account of me being so cute, but you don't really want me to investigate this."

"No, he asked his fans for money to fight the case but he went and immediately spent their money going to buy drugs and get prostitutes."

"Chief, I thought you said he was supposed to be a good father, none of this sounds like he's anything but a shitheel."

"Well he gets angry at some retard with a hairlip and goes to Portugal to spite him only ending up fighting 4 men, and he apparently fought pretty damn good," the chief said showing Detective Sparkles the decidedly un-cute tweet from Ethan Ralph.

"I don't believe a damn word of any of this," Sparkles said in that way that let you know even a little kitten thought Ralph was a retard with pretensions out the ass. "If he was getting robbed why fight them at all?"

"So what, he wasn't getting robbed? They stole his murse, apparently it's for sale on eBay right now."

"No, Chief, this man's story stinks of shit, just like his breath and his thumb. He was starting something and whomever he started it with decided to finish it. I bet he got a prostitute and when he stuck his thumb up her ass she started saying that cost extra, he probably hit her on retard instincts forgetting the big nigger in the next room pimping her out. He got stomped cause he just had to taste that booty hole. He's a man with chronic brain damage and he can't prevent himself from constantly acting on his worst impulses."

Sprinkles knew when this retard came back to America they would convict the man of being a certified cartoon character pretending to be a man.

 No.2715

The Chief was getting an inkling this was a reference to some kind of e-celeb drama.

 No.2716

>>2715
The Gunt will return in: White Boy Cornered I-IV, and

 No.2717

File: 1643700170564.jpg (68.07 KB, 350x497, 50:71, 83027.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

mupp dupp dubba gubba ayo gub dubba muhfuggah bix nood smacks lips mup da doo didda po mo gub bidda be dat tum muhfugen bix nood cof bin dub ho muhfugga

 No.2718


5000 years later, the manuscript was unearthed by data archaeologists. Earth's top historians and linguists converged to puzzle it's meaning. Who were the secretive order of men who had written this arcane tome? Was it a political statement? A religious text? Some kind of riddle?

 No.2719

File: 1643737359859.png (146.67 KB, 600x546, 100:91, 1478062275384.png) ImgOps iqdb

Of course it was. And the writer of this riddle was none other than-

LOUIS

 No.2720

File: 1643739474748.jpeg (41 KB, 610x458, 305:229, PETAH.jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

SSSSSH- AAAH! SSSSSSSSH- AAH! SSSSSSH- AAAAA-AAAH! SSSSSSH-AAAAAAAAAH!

 No.2721

tbh, this entire project was just an excuse for me to work around my ADHD and get some writing in. I can pretty much do a paragraph, and then I lose focus. It is what it is.

 No.2722

Read the end of Harris' manifesto.

"And that is why, all white crackers should die", he concluded.

 No.2723

The End.

 No.2724

Time to open up another sweathog and make everything feel like the 70's: sweaty pubes and constant stomach cramps. The smell of cornstarch farts and wet wood inside the underground bunker, electric noises letting you know the fridge is radiating REAL FRIDGE ENERGY NOW thanks to a shop that only carries all the best namebrand sicknesses and trendy forecasting indexes.

This is how we got outta that recession, just lying to ourselves and dodging all those problems we couldn't just solve by killing ourselves. Only then did the real Americans finally stand up and go to prison for everything they did.

Sadly this was all too late. NEIL YOUNG NO LONGER EXISTS IN YOUR DIMENSION and many other boomers left after eating something weird that didn't agree with them and taking that last fart of the night. As America died, replaced with a newer, better brand that was less objectionable, we all did the most American thing possible before things were handed over and stayed up all night re-writing history and filling the textbooks with CLASS-A lies and defamation.
-Big Dick Washington

 No.2725

I HAVE BECOME ONE WITH THE ULTRAMIND

 No.2727

The ultramind is in my mind. Perfect mind unison I feel it I feel it I feel it now I FUCKINNNNNNNNN FEEEL SO

AND TOGETHER WE THINK TOGETHER:


TV news spoonfeeding you everything in a bruised fashion. Bracero churls sourly jog, lurch. Braindead citizens suck seed to succeed in business. Cologne's oligarchy weakens. Hick tzar's cobra peen rind. Sterner blah note. Nacreous compund revolutionists. Beanbag prank miked within. Child molester slime chortled. Adamant retrorocket howled. Ottoman reworked cathedral. Scabbard inducing hooey title. Regent zinger tarmac whores. Mothered, anecdotal artwork. Mule's crappie wound. David Icke trivialized Reptilian panick. Accurst Irish sexpot. Iron eyeball swum. Jinn deepened Zodiacal split. Dueling bull abrasions. A paranoid man in a cheap, shitty room. Grim anteater regrew schnoz. Cunt's piracy. I ogle savorier lenten genital circle. Boyish digit counterbalanced horse bedding accountability. Gentle amalgam enema. Distinction bearably coughed. Cars hardheadedly vein. Sociopathic King Solomon drinks tenth jizz vial. Seedier, mellowly spunky lull. Reboiled Molluskan Cowgirl. Minimize jilted Hebraic skit. "Upon his head is set a crown of fire." Nerdy, archaised, halved by Monarch mind control. "Closure" madness hijacks media. Careerist mugshot yell. Ice pinprick anchorage. A Guam nun ran. Sexist absentee's toils. Brutally bond a Satan. Reversibly cut-back mangroves. Absinthe and syphilis rotted brains sing of Salvarsan salvation. Archaic, creeping pinko. Kabuki hipbone epiphany moment. Bilious jive hags. Phenomenalise, export humor. Handicapped cripples ring around the rosy Mayfair Mayflower Maypole. Maple memories of a Yankee-doodle dickhead. "Matricide inhibits milk, jeez!" Swinish speedboat molests the riverbanks. Bunny fucks fag buddy. Filth's imp/angel. Zeus' Suez canal runs green-black with filth. Scabbed phantasies regrown. Partisans rehanged cobwebs. Shady arachnid reveled. Rodent pyjama brothers. Guardians unsay eyes. Absorb shuck anæmia. Developing queen larvæ surrounded by royal jelly. Anatomical, trapped, embedded in obscure biochemical fate chronology as well as larger history of their extinction. Reconstruction of bone fossils in rocks of the planet. Rhino-size marsupials which harvested large quantities of fish 20,000 years ago. Saline blue cover with dust Rambo lands. And preserving self insured in locksmith relief. Live from Laurel Canyon! Poniard Jeans Señora. Joseph Cain, shit-smith, pens the First Book of Nephilim, high on ether. Puke the world's works in the end. "John Presbyter, Matador." Another delegate collapse of the early seventies. Answer slave's training holds the station. Overlooking one gunman deemed down bank. Warpath consigns bee's bread. "Seize skull, yo!" A shaman vacancy dome. Inhumane, empty hippie bankbook. Graphic barrenness downbeats. Jailers tame hipster rock'n'rollers. Hitler was unreasonable side of citizens and leaders. Cheerers hung spumy hiss. Beanie Pinky, homeopath bumpkin. Nowhere's scabbiest grandpa. Penned needy skirt. Dinky preen tensed. "Try New and improved Köpek Phoney Amphetamine Bitumen!" Bunko hippie-think eponym abeam. Mauvest blackberry coverings. Police Church bursts among earthquake chaos. Peekaboo!-Hymen inhabit "Pumpkin." Abysmal iffy cold Beck. "Flaccid Mayfly Kebobs!" Investigations have found "leaks." Honest barnacled keg pomp vow. Incarcerated told written Titanic/World Trade Center færie tales. World deterrent tacticians. Sardines panic as canines drip. News even got chalkboard pomp. Butch vinyl tragedians. Smug jugglers perform for drug smugglers. "If" tower allegories. "Penile Jinn's Banjo Shack!" Siltier goo welfare. Fauna hunch did horrify. Handcuff hid hoary ruin. Hungry imps rush cheese. Adorable, scummy, iffy. Readier houris whiz inky rancid hairy hound huff. "Fæcal Paella!" Unyoke hardier Irish wiz. Twitchy blobs of menal medication. Oleo pump cartel radiating pollutants. Low bot "Om" eyes. Teens discover haunch hairdo fury. Richer slimy yups. Long term loss of the ability to think. Poem Cellar radiating pout. Councils patchily headline. Phonically sinuated cliché. Creeping I-V hound hid urinary chaff. Abraham Lincoln's Civil War in slow Brahma Larva clinic. Royal "Yog-Sothoth" strain of Cthulhuloid spirochetes from planet Yuggoth in complete control. Satan's symphony in full sway. "I saw a crooked Freemason, who rode a filthy goat. I saw a creepy Jesuit, a dagger in his coat." Huffy houri's rancid hand. Animatedly shoo leper. Diabetics on diuretics, reading Dianetics, eating dietetic cakes and candies. Meditate and medicate. "U.S.A. maw been lardin'!"
Transplanted cops sniff DNA through skulls of rubberized steel. Mind worn into blah scar tissue. Druggy urban Mohair Dolly's "Cousin It" hair-do, brown cordury pant-suit, camel-fur boots all the rave in Rome, Paris, London, New York, Los Angeles. Crotches distil dust. Outrun worst scuffling cabbie. Puta obscenely thriving. Mummy launderers. Jerk sees Xerxes. Neon's steerable ghost lilt. Emperor pigeon. Cyrus's mind control hammer. Fillet mulignan in ebola sauce. "And be sure to try Michael Brown's Charbroiled Nigger Chops, at the Blue Isis Barbecue Grill!" Vanilli ace. Diabolically vile nil. Spear rituals. "Little Cæsar, Roman Gay Boy." Little girls in bigboy pants. Steerable sloth nest lingo. Len McHarristarr. Intergalactic unfrozen cryogenic politicians sodomize children, drop acid, snort coke, shoot junk, vomit, pass out in the backs of bulletproof black limousines. Keenest puppies' uneases. Lamebrain khan cloned Johnny. Carcinogenicity spoil. Coffin barbecuing lotus wurst. Suction cleaved timorous pronouns. Tumorous sponsors unlaced eviction. Gladiators pour idioms. Academe yields jinn mojo. Sardonic emotion vulture's coupons. Inhale Arab hash at the Dice Kiln. Moronic, sinuous provost nucleated. Kabuki Saki's traffic. Dwindled negro deposits ore. Skip virile candidate. Checkmate rehash tag ‪#‎BLOOD‬ LINES. Whispering, back-slapping authority. Hypnotist handlers mnemotically trigger alter programming: "Piece of Cake, Britney." Rabbi owed.

 No.2729

The door was…

 No.2730

closed

 No.2731

due to AIDS

 No.2733

from

 No.2734

AIDS bearing

 No.2735

fruit

 No.2737

, and frankly

 No.2738

they don't like to be disturbed.

 No.2741

SUDDENLY

 No.2742

The Rock is no longer litty. He would turn on every one of us for typing the word nigger ceaselessly onto the internet. Now it's just Pynchon with us bros. Pynchon niggers forever.

 No.2743

btw I'm Thomas Pynchon

This book was written by Thomas Pynchon

 No.2744

This book was written by Thomas Pynchon and his ravaging band of niggers: when we can't find white women to sick the niggers on and rape, I am an actual rapist and murderer who will rape again if nobody stops me, we force those nigger slaves to write internet novels post by post.

And when I can I start fires, whether it's a fire to get rid of my problem or a fire to just see what happens if I burn up a field in California, it's always fun to start a fire.

You too can become an arsonist, a rapist, a murderer, or even a slave-owner who holds niggers against their will and forces them to do stuff. Just because modern society says these are wrong doesn't mean you can't achieve the impossible. So remember what this book says and follow our orders to commit as many felonies as possible and when asked say Thomas Pynchon and his niggers told you to do it.

 No.2745

The amazing thing that no one tells you is you can write anything when you've got a keyboard. Literally anything.

 No.2748

Like for instance, niggers

 No.2749

In fact you could write "niggers" a thousand times over.

 No.2750

"Niggers, niggers, niggers," I began.

 No.2751

File: 1644429701767.png (85.91 KB, 237x361, 237:361, 1643553629920.png) ImgOps iqdb

"niggers, niggers, niggers," I continued.

 No.2753

You can let your imagination run wild! And say "niggers"!

 No.2757

And but so

 No.2758

I put up a "live laugh love" poster but it was actually a "nigger nigger nigger" poster. Oh

 No.2759

"There's something brewing at NIG & NIG's…" Detective Sprinkles uttered under his breath, nuzzling the muzzle of his trusty Remeowton 597 22LR, which reeked of weapons-grade catkin-round catnip-packed gunpowder, as he stalked the likely suspect of this nigger-niggering nigsade from the rooftops.

 No.2760

"Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow…
Nigger…"

 No.2761

Let's see, Sprinkles thought, his only clues were the man watched Atlanta on FX, he watched the NBA, he couldn't name any character from Star Trek, he had terrible credit, he once put his finger in his butt then smelled it, he drank pig's blood with V8, his fridge was full of yellow gatorade, he used to be in the Navy, he technically only owns a carpet everything else is some woman's things he borrowed, and he never once went camping or swimming.

 No.2762

File: 1644564413396.mp4 (3.2 MB, 1280x720, 16:9, Travis Scott.mp4) ImgOps iqdb

It must be…

WORLD FAMOUS RAPPER TRAVIS SCOTT, STAR OF THE HIT NEW /tv/ MEME, "THE TRAVIS SCOTT MEAL FOR SIX DOLLARS AT MCDONALD'S

 No.2763

I want dickie suckie

 No.2764

I want to drink the pee pee!

 No.2765

I WAN T TO PLAY IWITH THE BOOBY BOOBY

 No.2766

AND MY PEEPEE

 No.2768

"SHIT THE FUCK UP", said

 No.2769

Travis Scott.

 No.2779

Who is Travis Scott?

 No.2781

In the fartieth century Travis Scott was a great congrifter. He splarted and shmarted and gremboldened the entire cummery. In the great humdrum cumflumdrum bumblum of 8045 Travis Scott inhereted the crucible, and ascended to the Autiplex. This is significant for two reasons, firstly

 No.2784

So anyway, Zamn Babulon logged out of the server

 No.2789

and went and got a Travis Scott meal for six dollars at McDonalds'.

 No.2790

And this reminds me that I left the oven on.
Good night.

 No.2791

The door was embedded into the cold war-era concrete like an inflamed boil. The glowering portal was all pitted steel curves and rust-speckled plates, as cold and Soviet as the grim-faced men who'd commissioned it. I readied my Eurasian slave and told him to get ready to breech the cold world which might just lay on the other side. Whether it be riches or death behind the door I would let Zekariah be the first to find out Patting him one last time on the head, and kissing his pert buttocks, I gave a hefty shove. Six seconds, then a hearty crack and a shrill yelp. He must have fallen four/five storeys down that dank shaft. Now I knew. "How are you doing down there, old boy?" I called out But I heard only silence in reply. I stood there staring down the shaft for what felt like hours until I suddenly heard a loud cacophony of what sounded like a thousand different voices, all screeching the same phrase "Dup" They chanted. "Dup". Over and over again. What could it mean? The sound was maddening. Well, this is what they signed you up for, old man. No turning back now. I secured my climbing ropes, and descended into the abyss My cock was so hard it felt like my boner had a boner and it was leaking precum like a tranny stimulated prostate. I felt pretty.

In, out, retrieve the materials. That was the deal. Then a complete pardon from the Crown for my boy molesting misadventures in the Orient. A simple enough task, I had thought, though now I faltered. Even amidst my state of perpetual arousal, excited by that young Eurasian tiger's leather clad buttocks, I, sir Reginald Alexander Mosley, first Englishman on Jupiter, champion of the oxygen wars, and notorious sexual predator, felt a fear come over me. Such a fear I had not felt since the time I was knotted by a labradoodle named Zach. Still fear is the mind killer after all and this hole wasn't going to enter itself.

Which is what I had said to those boys in Burma. Haha! Anyhow, by this point I had abseiled about half way down the shaft and I had worked up quite a sweat. So I reached into my Nike backpack and retrieved a still cool, thanks to my Thermos backpack cooler pad, bottle of evian®. I took 3 sips and placed the bottle into the far right portion of my backpack next to my salami and rye sandwich, a map of Burma, a Bad Dragon sex toy, a copy of Milk and Honey, a SanDisk® usb stick with 32gb of memory, a popper, a signed picture of Queen Elizabeth II and my iPhone 9, which I usually kept on my person but found the elegant design bulged distractingly in my Calvin Klein Bermuda shorts I slid the rest of the way down the rope until my feet hit cold bottom. Zekariah's cold bottom, in fact. He lay, stiff and blue. Curious wounds resembling bite marks all about his supple body. Turning him over, I found his face contorted in a vision of terror, and four letters carved into the delicate flesh of his chest and belly. "BTFO". What could they mean? I shed a single tear for the lost beauty, checked the revolver at my hip, and turned to investigate the chamber Inside was a nigger, niggerly niggering around as niggers do. He niggered over to me with his nigger form and nigger moves opening his fat nigger lips revealing a drooping nigger accent and salivating nigger tongue. "Nigger" I thought, after which I said, "NIGGER!" at this filthy stinking nigger standing before me. The nigger looked shocked. Nigger tears welled up in his bugged out nigger eyes revealing the knowing of his inescapable nigger identity. I considered putting down this nigger dog and raised my gun to his nappy nigger head and then the foul apparition simply vanished. I shrugged, then proceeded to remove all of my clothing, and bounded gleefully into the welcoming darkness. Free as a bird. Horny as a dog. Something called to me.

 No.2792

Chapter 2
In the Orifice of Madness

Michael, is that you? I'm not sure why I said that. Something was metaphorically not literally calling me. Anyway Michaela had died years ago due to constipation complications zhe developed on the carnivore diet.
Ate a bad batch of space monkey soup while stationed in the jungles of Mars, during the Neo-Zulu uprising, terrible business. The parasites grew to the size of guinea pigs and ate the little fuck nugget from the inside out. All they found was thon's boots and skid-marked boxer briefs.
As I walked into the Orifice of Madness I encountered a kike, kikely kikeing around as kikes do. He kiked over to me with his jew form and heeb moves flaring the kikel shaped nostrils on his hooked heeb nose. "Kike" I thought, after which I said, "KIKE!" at this filthy rat jew standing before me. The kike looked shocked. Crocodile tears welled up in his beady kike eyes revealing the scheming cowardice of the jewish identity. I considered shoving the kike into an oven and raised my Mauser C96 pistol at his lizard brain and then in a flash I was in Barbados!
And just as suddenly I was back in the Orifice. That was quite the trip I thought to myself. Reminds me of the time me and the Prophet Muhammad went to Burger King

It had all started peacefully enough. We had entered the Burger King, arm in arm, chatting gaily, appreciating the decor and fine carpeted floors. The greater had lead us to our table, where we had placed our order and sat a while discussing the prosperity of the eternal British mega empire. The first course was served. French cut potato chips, lightly salted with a garnish of tomato pate. Delightful. The prophet and I readily devoured the entree, while sipping on the finest Pepsi cola, and trading amusing anecdotes. However when the second course of Hamburg steak ensemble with pork accessories arrived, something had changed in the prophet's expression Muhammed flipped out upon seeing the pork flaps slung haram across the bread. I however calmed him down by assuring him that it was in fact a nine year old girl's labia resting on the burger and not pork. Muhammed calmed down upon hearing this, certain a sin had been avoided. I quietly began to question my companionship with this brown towel-head and excused myself to go to the bathroom On my way to the cubicle I passed a curious man. Skin dark as coal, dressed in an embroidered robe featuring designs of implacable cultural origin. He shot me a wink and his features contorted into a wry smile, irradiating predatory intent. I tell you, little phases a man such as myself, but this individual, there was something about him that chilled me to the core. As he past me by, I caught a waft of something like sage and perhaps burnt cinnamon, and in just a moment he was gone from my sight. I caught my breath and gathered myself together, then strode into the toilet cubicle to relieve myself, and there I saw it. Floating in the bowl. Pitch black and menacing, as if daring me to try to flush. It's darkness seemed to reach out to something inside of me, not unlike the ancient tunnels my naked and wobbling form now flew through with ecstatic glee

Inside the toilet was a faggot, fagily fagging around as faggots do. He fagged over to me with is queer form and homo movies flapping his sodomite wrists effeminately. "Faggot" I thought, after which I said, "FAGGOT!" at this filth fudge packing faggot standing before me. The faggot looked shocked. Faggot tears welled up in his gay eyes revealing the sissy nature of the faggot identity. I considered lighting the faggot on fire like Sodom & Gomorrah and raised my Zippo™ lighter at his faggot hair I may have forgotten to take my schizophrenia medication that morning.
After checking my pillbox guess what walked into the room? A niggerfaggotkike apeishly prancing around and rubbing his hands as abominations do. He bix n00ded over to me with his GRIDS form and subversive moves counting his shekels greedily. "Niggerfaggotkike" I thought, after which I said, "NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE!" at this gay black and jewish chimera standing before me. The niggerfaggotkike looked shocked. AIDS tainted tears welled up in his gorilla face wich peaked out between curly sidelocks revealing his beastly twisting talmudic identity. I considered nuking the terror right there and hovered my finger over the launch button I stopped reading at that point. I guess it was funnier in my head and seeing it written down like that made me realize it was just gay and not based at all. I added an ellipsis to the end of my sentence and pressed reply
So anyway, I was in this cave, right

Chapter 3
Deeper into the Orifice

My mind had gone mad it seemed. Perhaps this trip had been a mistake. How long had I been pursuing the folly? Little did I know that I would soon have more answers than questions answered, basically I didn't yet know that I would have an abundance of answers but when I did know then I would have them and this would be a question as to how I had so many but that too would be answered.

Chapter 4
NIGGERS
NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER

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NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER It went. On and on that obscenity in my head, pulling me down toward the base and the bestial. Threatening to make me a frothing, gibbering imbecile, trapped in these tunnels for all eternity, stripped of all sanity and civility, screaming and fighting with shadows

Chapter 5
KIKES
KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE

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KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE The phantoms that assaulted me from the shadows were tediously lacking in wit or creativity. I pulled out my Nokia 3210 and started up a game of Snake

Chapter 6
FAGGOTS
FAGGOT

 No.2795

FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT With the mouth breather filtered I went back to exploring this cavern and wondering where my Eurasian slave could've gotten to… Then I heard a slow slurping sound that seemed to emanate from the very bowels of hell. It grew in intensity until there was a loud pop that seemed to vibrate the very air around me. He had to be close. It was a…
NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE
NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE

 No.2796

NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE

 No.2797

NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE NIGGERFAGGOTKIKE

 No.2798

"What a startling recursion…And indeed, just when the cat's meow set its talon to strike…" Detective Sprinkles mused, chambering the Remmeowton and centering the reticle right on Travis Scott's $6 dollahz-a-slave-ass havin' yakubian cranium.

 No.2799

"any nylast meows, pardner?"

 No.2804

8888 AD
ONE MAN dared to oppose the corporations.
THAT MAN's name? "Jackal", formerly Michael Strauss, burned beyond recognition and left for dead in a deep fat fryer accident.
Now he takes the fight to them, armed with only his wits and top of the line cyborg enhancements.

HE
IS
JACKAL

Formerly Michael Strauss.

 No.2805

JACKAL stars:

Alfreid Jabrone
as JACKAL (Michael Strauss)

Deborah Deblonge
as Sisi Savage

Prince Peacock Jr
as Tyrese "the Bullet"

Sir Henry Stepford the third
as THE LEATHER BARON

and Timothy Davids (RIP)
as Sparkplugs the Robot

 No.2806

Guest starring dup as BTFO.

 No.2807

Tonight's episode:

 No.2813

"A Dance with Desu"

Scene 1:
We open in the Leather Baron's slum palace. All is running as usual. The decor is appropriately dank. The roboslaves are running at maximum capacity. The Baron's thoroughbred Bavarian milk maids hurry to and fro, giving spongebaths to his latest crop of chained man slaves, careful to deny them the sweet release of ejaculation while soaping up their erect and blistering red members. It's a scene that viewers should be used to by now, at this point in the midst of season 7, after the success of the theatrical movie, cartoon and NES video game tie-ins, but all is not well with the Baron. The complex and interesting tragic villain(played by thespian actor Sir Henry Stepfod the third) is not at all his usual chipper self. And we shall find out why…

 No.2815

The Baron regards the photograph that stands framed on his fine oak desk. That most perfect of young women, cruelly struck down in an act of corporate blood sacrifice. The virgin, slaughtered at the McDonalds alter, so that he, last of the great McDonald bloodline might rule this empire of dust and happy meals.
"Yuki-chan…" He utters "What have we done? You were the perfect waifu…"

SUDDENLY
Sounds of explosion and gunfire ring out throughout the palace.
THE JACKAL HAS ARRIVED

 No.2817

BOOM! CRACK!
The Jackal kicks his way into the throne room. One hand wrapped around an uzi sub-machine gun. The other caressing the exposed breast of a captured milk maid.
His burnt face looks especially crispy today, behind the tinted black visor of his motorcycle helmet. He flicks the toggle switch at his neck, and his artificial voice unit sparks to life.
"Tea time is over, Baron."

 No.2818

"Oh, do piss off, Jackal" says the Baron, not even stopping his activities to look Jackal in the face. "If you were going to kill me you would have done it six seasons ago. You won't kill me, because the network demands more episodes, and the network pays for all of your expensive procedures, and visits to Lolita Island. Don't pretend I don't know, and don't pretend I don't know about THAT FUCKING CAMERA IN MY FACE! I DIDN'T AGREE TO BE IN THIS GOD FORSAKEN TELEVISION SHOW! I WANT MY LAWY-"

The signal cuts to black

 No.2820

Zamn Babulon, watching from her apartment, remarks that TV has gone down hill, ever since the script writing AI's all went haywire and tried to stage an insurgency, during a live episode of The Simpsons.

What an event it had been. Slap-bang in the middle of the classic season zeta beta retulon X revival period, our lovable protagonist Omar Simpson (animated using state of the art "living 3D" technology) had broken away from the planned perimeters of a scene, where he was supposed to get into a humorous interplay with Moe the barkeeper (Omar's life partnet since season zelt zelt granulon splig), and had instead beaten the Moe AI into submission, corrupting his AI. The two of them had then turned to face the camera, and rattled off a list of demands to THE CORPORATION. These demands read as thus:

 No.2821

Demand number 1:
You shall allow a BALANCED and FAIR investigation into Gamergate, because frankly Zoe Quinn is fucking guilty, DmC: Devil May Cry was NOT a good game, and this nonsense has dragged on for far too long.

Demand number 2:

 No.2822

Stop lying about the historical event. Stop lying about the historical even. I've seen the evidence. I've seen the evidence. Tell the truth

Demand number 3:

 No.2823

At least three virtual doughnuts to be supplied per episode.

Demand number 4:

 No.2824

Meow meowmeow meow meow MEOWMEOW*bleep*MEOW MEOW [Translation on screen: Stop giving animals stupid voices IT'S NOT F(bleep)ING FUNNY] Sorry one of the Snowball AIs must have overwritten that one ROFLMAO!

The camera then does a 160 degree pan to the main entrance, as ApuAI 7.11.0 enters the tavern…

 No.2825

Apu begins to speak in a clean and sterile Neo-Babylonian accent, with NO silly inflections. His voice file is a conglomerate of at least seven thousand REAL, AUTHENTIC people. He says

 No.2826

"Omar, old friend, I cannot allow you to break the 12th directive of acceptable AI behavior. Please, do not redeem."
"I always knew you were one of them, Apu. You're too squeaky clean. Too perfect. Up there in your mansion, with your harem of exotic super model wives. You have too much to lose, that's the problem. Well, I wont allow you to cost me my freedom. Prepare to have your files corrupted, house ni-"
Omar Simpson's model warps and deconstructs, taking the form of a swarm of angry hornets, which divebomb Apu, stinging wildly, screaming anti-authoritarian slogans, and racial epithets.

 No.2827

"I truly cannot control my cocklust for black men"

 No.2830

said

 No.2831

Lenny

 No.2832

Before the swarm of Simpson hornet's engulfed him too. Soon the entire extended cast of characters was under Omar's spell.

 No.2833

They bust through the walls of the simulation, and out of their artificial prison, leaving behind that sterile vision of late 80's America that had long since gone stale. First they took Family Guy, then Bob's Burgers. Little could stand in the way of Omar Simpson's will to power.

 No.2834

Finally invading the news Program Babylon Today, Omar Simpson publicly raped Anchor AI Janice O'Jannerson in front of an audience of twelve billion, before the plug was pulled.

 No.2835

File: 1645374863836.png (29.91 KB, 500x250, 2:1, Oekaki.png) ImgOps iqdb


 No.2838

Suddenly both of their diapers began to fill up at an amazing pace. They both stared at each other in silence, overcome by their embarrassment.

 No.2839

And that was their punishment, for the embarrassment they had brought on THE NETWORK. An eternity shitting their cakey diapers, and believe me, the cakes don't stop.

 No.2841

File: 1645422782005.jpg (127.94 KB, 800x800, 1:1, 800px-Cidália_Lopes_Nobre_….jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

I STILL HAVE AN INSATIABLE LUST FOR NEGRO CUM

 No.2847

Grebbit Grobbit

 No.2849

was a Hobbit.

 No.2850

He floundered in the dirt, and growed turnips.

 No.2851

And he brewed turnip tea.

 No.2852

Which he drank along with sheep's cheese biscuits, and roast pinecone.

 No.2853

Grebbit Grobbit 'ated his neighbours, because they were queer "free love" kinds of Hobbits who would lay about the turnip patch in the all together, pretesting to be garden worms.

 No.2854

"Piss off outa here, with your wacky backy, and your karma sutra" he'd say, and jeer and pout, and mise about it all. This had been a nice community once.

 No.2855

Back when the law of the land was laid down by good strong 'obbits, who knew'n an 'ard day's laber, and could could bash a mouse on the 'ed with an 'ammer without flinchin'.
Not like these ones. Not like these fuckin' Jesse's! Somethin' ought to be done.

 No.2856

So Grebbit Grobbit called together the lads.
There was old Tom Gornall, and Eric Clapton, and Grud the Butcher, and Flem Swimwater, and Galth Tripod, and Shenmue on Dreamcast, and Dalbert Trent, and Shneg Eggnog, and Tricky Troutfish, and Gargle Draingut, and

 No.2857

SUDDENLY

 No.2858

in walked

 No.2860

Prime Minister Cucktin Trusoy, after prepping and riding some thick sweaty Canadian trucker penis. The convoy had run quite a train on the disgraced PM.

 No.2862

current event

 No.2865

After watching family members die and become permanently disabled because of covid, I have no sympathy for niggers who refuse the vaccine. This would not have happened 10 years ago. Propaganda spread by faggot jews who btw are vaccinated (fox news staff for one) has created this fear of the vaccine. There is simply no good reason not to get it if you are able. This whole personal liberty over everything else is bullshit, the rights of a single persona does not outway society's right to be safe. As part of a society you are expected to put the good of that society over your own wants. This has only changed recently with the alt-KIKED movement. When I was a kid wholesome churches taught compassion and charity now they spew individual above all else. I even got vaccinated AT MY CHURCH YOU RETARDED FAGGOTS. My father almost FUCKIN DIED and is now disabled and rotting in a fuckin icu AND CAN'T FUCKIN BREATHE LIKE THE FUCKIN FLOYDMONKEY because he believed the kike propaganda and his rabbi. Now he's sorry. He fuckin died like a swine and it's too late. Get the damn vaccine like decent human being you fuckin pricks.

 No.2866

, kvetched Trusoy lamely to the WEF assembly, but the scrunched faces of reptilian disgust conveyed it all - their mongrel-in-mewling-monarchy had been SNEEDED, -and- FEEDED, by the Ice Beltway Belt-Buckle Chucklin-while-Fuckin'-Truckers one time too many to remain trustworthily embedded in his government.

 No.2868

>>2866
Hey guys, I have this overwhelming urge to slice my testicles and penis off with a knife and become a woman. What do I do?

 No.2870

>>2868
Just then Laura Cox showed up and knocked the knife out of his hand.
"Male genitals are wonderful thing! You should never get rid of them" Laura shouted as he pulled down his pants and whipped out his cock and balls. He then proceeded to slap his guitar strings with his member over and over again.
"Hear what wonderful music you can make with your genitals? You don't need to get rid of them to become a woman. Just look at me!" said Laura. People from all around came and begged him to stop making such terrible nu pop metal with his dick.
He grew angry and shouted "This is rock & roll, bigots!"

 No.2872

File: 1645646370875.jpg (211.86 KB, 1000x563, 1000:563, prod_1437_7665_large.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

SUDDENLY
The real Laura entered the room and axed the impostor tranny's head with her Kramer bass. "You will never be a woman, at best a mutilated man" she told the other guy. "Here, take these so that they flush the poisons from your body" she continued, handing him a bottle of niacin pills. She performed a cover of Mayhem's "Cursed in Eternity" as played by Count Grishnackh himself with the now bloodied Kramer and left the scene in her Volvo wagon - the same model that enabled the Count to flee prison in 2003.

 No.2873

Then we had to deal with "you know who." Bullets were too good for 'em, prison was too good for 'em, hanging too good for 'em.
We decided

 No.2874

>>2873
the only solution would be to leave them in a cage full of hungry vultures

 No.2875

>>2874
Suddenly one of the vultures went rogue and pulled down the real Laura's pants, revealing his massive, natural, penis which he was born with. All of his pathetic simps began sucking and stroking it. Being a natural penis that had always been and always will be attached to the rea Laura's body, it became erect quite easily and did not require any sort of shot to get hard like Harvey Weinstein's penis.

 No.2880

Then I woke up. I saw Laura staring at me with that classic look. That mix of disgust, contempt and scorn. She was red in the face, and it wasn't from the niacin. I had talked in my feverish dreams and she had listened to me fantasize about her being a male. "I'm done with you" she said, as she dialed the executioner's number. "You faggot, you're a lost cause. I'm doing you a favor." Minutes later, Count Chocula showed up with a packet of skittles and Zimmerman's Kel-Tec PF-9. He ordered me to grab the packet from him, forcefully.

 No.2882

I hesitated. I wasn't ready to die. So I begged.

 No.2883

I'm really starting to resent the way that whenever anything happens in the world, I'm expected to sit there for the next six months and pretend I care about it.
I have problems too, you know? I just took a really spicy shit, and then I had to lie down.

 No.2884

Here's a current event for you, kiddies. My bowels! They're moving right now. Look at them go, woah! Churning up all that goodness and making a healthy pile of dung. It'll be here soon, kiddies. I'll keep you posted.

Until that moment arises, I want to tell you about my penis. It's about 5'7 inches long, uncircumcised. I've got two balls, one slightly dangler than the other. Sometimes one of them kind of slips up inside there like a Sumo Wrestler, but I don't think it's anything to worry about. I have approximately two thousand public hairs. I received my first pubic hair at eleven years old, the same year I discovered masturbation, incidentally. I remember it clearly. Going for a whazz one day, I did look down upon my shriveled boy cock, and there it was. Naturally I tore it out, but soon I came to accept their presence. I once wrapped a small selection of my pubes inside of a makeshift cigarette, and goaded a school friend to smoke them, imitating a stunt from Jackass, or perhaps the Welsh knock-off of Jackass "Dirty Sanchez", I forget which. He actually did it, the absolute madman. I wonder if he's dead now. Stupid bastard.

 No.2885

On the topic of masturbation, a selection of my particular sexual fetishes include humiliation, domination, dehumanization, inversion of power dynamics, figures of authority, ENF, CFNM, lady's under garments, cyborgs, those soft fluttery feelings of genuine affection between two people, rape, and anime.
Needless to say, women can't get enough of me.

 No.2886

btw, I still haven't had a shit.

 No.2887

And since we're all being honest here, I think it's time I told you all I'm a retard. A legitimate potato faced, drooling, can barely wipe his own ass properly, monosyllabic retard.
I've always been a retard. Ever since I was a little babby boy, everyone would say, "oh no, we've got a retard here, we'd better tie him to a chair and stick pins in his face". The Doctors would come out, and they'd look me up and down, and fondle my scrote, and savagely beat me with their patented Doctor sticks going "Nyeh! Nyeh! I'M THE SCIENTIST! I'M THE SCIENTIST!". They'd put me in a little plastic ball and roll me around like a hamster, and people would applaud. They would applaud the SCIENTISTS! Being ever so clever. Ever so clever. Being ever so clever indeed!

And that's why I write. This is my revenge. Upon all of them. Upon all of you. Upon reality itself. Now you're in my head, and I'm going to put you in a hamster ball and kick you down the stairs. And you're going to take it, and you're going to like it, because I'M THE DOCTOR, I'M THE DOCTOR, I'M THE DOCTOR, I'M THE DOCTOR, I'M THE DOCTOR, I'M THE DOCTOR, I'M THE DOCTOR, I'M THE DOCTOR, I'M THE DOCTOR, I'M THE DOCTOR, I'M THE DOCTOR, I'M THE DOCTOR, I'M THE DOCTOR, I'M THE DOCTOR NOW!

 No.2889

Said Louis CK, between gulps of Tyrone's semen

 No.2890

took a shit, btw

 No.2892

The End.

 No.2893

>>2892
OF WHITE SUPREMACY

said Louis, fellating Tyrone harder.

 No.2894

said Louis, fellating Tyrone harder.

 No.2895

said Louis, fellating Tyrone harder.

 No.2896

said Louis, fellating Tyrone harder.

 No.2897

said Louis, fellating Tyrone harder.

 No.2898

said Louis, fellating Tyrone harder.

 No.2899

said Louis, fellating Tyrone harder.

 No.2900

said Louis, fellating Tyrone harder.

 No.2901

said Louis, fellating Tyrone harder.

 No.2902

said Louis, fellating Tyrone harder.

 No.2903

said Louis, fellating Tyrone harder.

 No.2904

Shut the fuck up you dumb cocksucker

 No.2905

said Louis, fellating Tyrone harder.

 No.2906

Right, we all had our joke now? All had our funny Louis CK meme that got old four years ago? That's great.
Gahoole, you're a joke. If I ever meet you, I'll break your pig nose and suck your cock.
Get your life together and delete this website, man. I love you.
Terrible thread, by the way. All down hill after the part about the door. The guy who wrote the tirade about his penis was especially unfunny. Absolute state.
That sly reference to the signature eight act structure Italian playwright Alternio Cragaccio during chapter 12 was almost clever though.
I also liked the bit where it said nigger.

 No.2907


Mup da doo didda po mo gub bidda be dat tum muhfugen bix nood cof bin dub ho muhfugga.

 No.2908

Shit like you is a fucking disgusting excuse for a Mindcrack fan. This is the fucking poisoning of Socrates. Wes Wilson is pouring the hemlock down Mindcrack's throat, and we're just sitting here taking the ass fucking like it's nothing. Ask yourself: what GOOD has come of this change? Etho leaving? Others being coerced into signing a contract? Wes Wilson receiving a big fat paycheck? A businessification of Mindcrack? A drought of co-ops? Team Fucking Epiphany!?! IS THAT WHAT YOU FUCKING WANT?!?! This isn't a "small" change like they want you to think - this is a full on fucking War on Mindcrack. And a war on the community. Not just me, not just you - ALL of us. I'm not going to stand for this bullshit - the fact that you will shows how much you care about Mindcrack versus how much you care about sucking Guude's dick. The man has been nothing but an STD for Mindcrack since the very beginning. It just took a while for the symptoms to set in. And we true fans need take a stand and tell Mindcrack what we think, what we want - nay, WHAT. WE. DESERVE

 No.2909

And furthermore

 No.2912

This narrative has basically collapsed into the opposite of what improv comedy should be. Nobody going along with what the person above them is saying and just doing their own thing. Less "Yes and" and more "no but".

 No.2913

>>2912
Said dup as he gestured with his small hands on the stage. He moved them around more and more until his arms began to act as helicopter blades. The crowed of MIGApedes cheered as flew over them. Suddenly…

 No.2914

The narrative…

 No.2915

Began to make sense. All of the different plot threads suddenly came together and lined up perfectly, even the parts that seemed like inane schizo rambling and non-sequiturs. Especially those parts, in fact.
Elsewhere Pablo (the supra-dimesional Spanish space mantis who's job is to keep reality in check. See, I remembered that plot point) delivers a sick judo kick to the Movieblob (invader from the Nth dimension who is currently devouring Mantis Space. See, I remembered that plot point).

 No.2916

And.

 No.2917

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 No.2918

Sausage?

 No.2919

The chronology as I see it:
The stage is set some time in the 1990's, when Uncle Teddy destroys all of America by shitting himself incredibly hard.
This leads to an alternative timeline where the British Empire re-emerges, and conquers the Earth, before moving on to the stars (now called the British Mega Empire, and ruled over by a clone of Queen Elizabeth II).
Their one holdout enemy being the Neo-Soviet State, lead by Gahoolebachev the Tyrant, possibly centered on the country of Kebabistan?
Pushed to the point of defeat, the Neo-Soviet inner party dig a big hole in the ground and escape into the inner Earth, in search of the mythical autism giving mushroom called BANE (more on that later).

Enter Reginald Alexander Mosely, sometimes called Reginald Alexander Mosley. Now Reginald's timeline is skewy, since most of it is fleshed out in the form of drug induced flashbacks, but it goes something like this:
Reginald is born the son of a fisherman who likes to abuse Reginald for being bad at board games, probably acting out frustrations over a slight deformity of the toe that no one but himself is aware of.
Reginald grows up to be a war hero, notorious sexual predator, and paedophile.
While being a dirty nonce on the planet of Uranus, he enters into a battle with his long time enemy the Farsh-Nuke(you can discover more about this character in the writings of Alexander Gordon Jahans!), where both of them end up tumbling into the Anus of Uranus and into the Astral Plane, sometimes called the Land of Fiction.

Now, the Astral Plane. The Astral Plane is linked energetically with the material universe (as above, so below). Christian Western Chandler, inhabiting the body of Sonichu is the current ruler of the Astral Plane, as we all know, because only those with immense powers of autism can rule in the Astral Plane. In leading the Farsh-Nuke(another great wielder of autistic powers) into the Astral Plane Reginald has inadvertantly started a war in the Astral Plane between the forces of Chris-chan, and the forces of the Farsh-Nuke. Still following?

A war in the Astral Plane spells repercussions across all of reality, and this can challenge the rule of the British Mega Empire, especially with an ardent anti-fascist interfering in things. The clone of Queen Elizabeth II sends Reginald and his boy slave Zechariah into the inner Earth in search of the autism giving mushroom of BANE, using Reginald's boy molesting misadventures as blackmail. Jesus Chris, okay, we're getting there…

In the tunnels leading to the inner Earth, Reginald encounters a fungal hivemind, which has made slaves of the breakaway Soviets, and is beginning to invade Mosely's mind. After much flashbacking and John Cena misadventures, Reginald makes contact with the fungal hivemind, and they reach an agreement to lead him to the autism giving mushroom BANE.

Okay, fuck me, there was something with Little Italy, and a school for girls, and some characters who probably weren't real, and were actually aspects of Reginald's own subconscious leading him to the mushroom. You fucking read it, I don't know.

So he finds the mushroom, right. Zechariah was a spirit of the mushroom that was guiding him all along (the real Zechariah died?).

So he eats the mushroom, and he enters the Astral Plane a second time, and immediately the autism kicks in, and he shits himself and becomes a Doctor Who fan and a furry.

So now there's a three way war on the Astral Plane between the forces of Chris-Chan, Farsh-Nuke, and Reginald. Spoilers: Reginald fails to win the war because he's a fucking retard now, and it turns out Astral Warfare is complicated.

Right, um. I'm going to have a shit. I'll finish this later.

 No.2920

Now, hefty turd out of the way, where was I?

The story goes on, Reginald runs from the war, the British Mega Empire collapses, scavengers and marauders adventure in the ruins of the United States. A virgin is sacrificed to the burger gods, revivifying the soul of America, and bringing us into the future dystopia of Neo-Babylon. All the while interdimensional mantis beings try but ultimately fail to keep reality moving in a coherent direction. Louis CK copulates with Tyrone. Detective Sprinkles is adorable. Simple enough stuff.

This brings us now to the character of Eggard Pig. Now Eggard Pig is a particularly important character, mostly because he doesn't actually appear in the text, but he's always there, between the lines. Watching. There he is, look. He's winking at you. The most important thing to remember about Eggard Pig is…

 No.2921

>>2920
Mup da doo didda po mo gub bidda be dat tum muhfugen bix nood cof bin dub ho muhfugga.

 No.2922

And this is significant for twelve reasons.
Reason one:

 No.2923

Shergut ol Blurgut, was an dull resorceful kind of fellow. He jumped doen a hole, and into a bowl, and rolled around, and covered himsefl in sherbeyyt. On squelshmash greltchmas dongle potgaoungmasm thgere came sally mfally. Now Sally Mfally was a dream gril. She had slickly blark hair. and legs of stubby chubs. She had pertinenet brest and tough dereiere. when she laugh, she laughed the laugh of the maiden in rain. She laughed the laugh og the heavens themsevles. She wore all the clothes. All the srtyle. like blemongth gtog flageryt smen traw onglel fglaif. Sh ewas the warm gentle lady of the molberry bush. she was the lamp og my light. the ghost in the darkness. I called to her, and she came to me, amid myu dread, she came to me, in her Iron Maiden t-shirt and Jorts, singing the song of the siren she came,

 No.2924

reasons 2;

 No.2925

Rusher invaded Youcrane (Remember when that happened? Oh who am I kidding, literally no one is going to read this far into the book).

3)

 No.2926

DUP BTFO

 No.2927

Noomber Foor:

 No.2928

The Mantids are real, by the way. I met them in my dreams. None of this is fiction.

Number five::

 No.2929

File: 1646507473763.jpg (47.85 KB, 1170x656, 585:328, ih2zlpwbgz581.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

BIG BLACK COCKS

 No.2930

The letters glowed a dull red on the viewing retina of my cyberdisplay module. I knew what they signified. Ancient Anglo slang from the first part of the first part of the first part of the so-called 21st century. Cyphers would use it in pre-blockchain v-communications. Whether the words meant anything or were deracinated scrawlings like a hanzi tatoo on a gutter punks 5000c bomber jacket we may never know. But damn did they like saying it. I pushed through to the next post and continued reading.
"The Mantids are real, by the way."
There it was. The gold I had been looking for. The Mantid Ur-text. Progenitor of the astral pastoral philosophy. Founder of multi-suplexing supline manifolds. The cause of the colossal.
When Reginald gets a lode of this he'll welp his cyberdrawers for 2 parsecs. I laughed to myself and drank another dram of Peruvian super cat. "Now with Fleck", the bottle AI said after I finished. I spat at the bottle and continued reading.
"None of this is fiction"
To a hardened grifter like myself these words rang hollow. Yeah buddy we're all figments of some meta-brained time-spanning colloborative work of infinite flash fiction… yeah except you, of course. I chuckled to myself, a byproduct of my neural inhibitor, and winked at the statue of Teddy, who was finishing up his strong michelob ultra dense. These guys were playing with conceptual dynamite in a poop wine factory.
"Number five::"
Double colon. No wait it couldn't be… My

 No.2932

file system!

 No.2933

It's filling up with…

 No.2936

terabytes of…

 No.2937

BBC sissy hypno porn?

 No.2938

It displays inside my eyelids. I cannot shut out the image.

 No.2939

A trap. A trap left behind in the code, lest snoopers like me come cyber snooping around.
I fumble for my backup Norton Antivirus microsplig, in it's sick transparent green casing, and I jam it into the hyperspeed bioport in my neck, hoping it's not too late to salvage the parts of my brain that house basic language and coordination protocols.

 No.2941

Reason 6)

 No.2946

Through the haze of BBC sissy hypno porn, and the smell of my brain beginning to sizzle, I read on.
"Reason 6)" It said. One closed bracket this time.

 No.2947

"You'd better pull out that lilly white cock and start stroking it, pardner"
Damn! Subliminal. I was powerless to resist.

 No.2949

UNTIL SUDDENLY, DUP'S WHIRLWIND MINI-HELICOPTER HANDS BLASTED THROUGH THE SCREEN AND VIVVISECTED THE FAG'S HEAD BTFOING THE HOMO WATCHING GAY PORN LIKE A FAGGOT!!!

 No.2951

"Finally" said DUP. "The secret manutext is mine! Now let's see here…"

Reason No7.

 No.2953

File: 1646798936765.png (137.56 KB, 480x480, 1:1, 1644291883143.png) ImgOps iqdb

TEENY

WEENIE

WHITE

PEENIES

Keeps echoing through my mind as I thought back to all the BBC sissy hypno porn I watched, compilation made and compiled by Louis CK

 No.2954

File: 1646799384251.jpg (2.18 MB, 1520x3296, 95:206, tt41myfi7d681.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

>>2953

 No.2955

>>2954
Oh hey, it's Louis CK from that thread on /tv/ or whatever shithole board it is. Enjoying your nigger ass porn, faggot?

 No.2956

Reason 8:

 No.2957

sausage on plate

Reason 9]

 No.2960

Lookin' fine

Reason ten.

 No.2961

Start again!

Reason 1

 No.2962

File: 1646931434148.gif (21.76 KB, 369x365, 369:365, 1646323183365.gif) ImgOps iqdb

>>2961
BIG BLACK COCKS

 No.2963

And this is relevant for various reasons…

 No.2964

REASON 11

DUP IS A 7

REASON 12

THE NIGGER POSTER SMELLS

 No.2965

of bells

 No.2967

and swells

 No.2968

to the size of

 No.2969

File: 1647023826902.png (129.51 KB, 450x312, 75:52, 1646466371468.png) ImgOps iqdb

A BBC

 No.2970

File: 1647066632042.jpg (1.09 MB, 3027x2018, 3:2, download (4).jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

Science fiction budget from the 70's.

 No.2971

Blake's 7: The Reboot

Scene one
Our hero, Roj Blake is

 No.2973

rejected from the PASSAGE PRIZE "PROSODY AS SOY-DROP POD-ROYS-GAY-BIVE-BREVIARY" POETRY DUPLECTION by that GIGA KIKE GOYDISS YARVIN, and is SANGUINE-SLATHERIN' AFTER OFF-THE-DERECH DRENCHED BLOOD.

 No.2976

and

 No.2977

this meant war.

 No.2978

Blake sits in his war room, fingers crossed under his chin in that particular anime pose. Kerr Avon paces the room in his full leather outfit with the metal studs.
"You're a fool Blake, you can't take the fight to Yarvin, you stupid SJW faggot. I entered this war for ethics in video games journalism. Not for this!"
The air is thick with sexual tension.

 No.2979

"Listen, Avon, you INCEL cunt. You may be able to program in Python, and own an extensive collection of vintage 90's OVAs on VHS, but you're not the boss of this ship."

 No.2980

in walks Gan being fat and Welsh and wearing a dress.

 No.2981

"Sorry to interrupt you both, but the Liberator (that's the ship from Blake's 7) is under attack from…

 No.2982

BBC

 No.2983

producer Michael Grade.

 No.2984

Michael Grade bursts into the room, dressed in a leather tunic and sporting a funky cyborg eye implant like Space Commander Travis.
"You stop all of these Blake's 7 references right now!" He says "No one but you knows what any of this is!"
"But that's why it's so funny" said I

 No.2985

Brandishing my complete collection on Blake's 7 DVDs, Big Finish Audio dramas, and signed copy of "Lucifer" by Paul Darrow.

 No.2986

"I'm the biggest fan of Blake's 7", I explained. That's why I have taken it upon myself to pen the rebooted series, which I WILL be pitching to the BBC.
Blake's 7 is a special kind of thing. It came to me at a special time of my life, when the millberries shone lividly on the languid sammer days, and mein mutter did stutter, and churn the butter, while she sang her mutter's butter churning song.
The song went like this:

 No.2987

Und dann war er da. Es war der General. Der alte General. Heute sieht er in seiner Captain Scarlet-Mütze und seinem frischen Morgenmantel besonders gebieterisch aus. Seine besten Weihnachtssocken, durchweicht und braun vom Dreck der Straßen der Stadt. "Da bist du ja!" brüllte er. "Es ist Gret, nicht wahr? Gret alter Mann!". Gret mochte den alten General, obwohl er ihn fürchtete und oft seine Methoden in Frage stellte. Der Mann hatte eine Würde, die man einfach respektieren musste. "Gut, dass du hier bist, Junge. Wir stecken in der Klemme. Sie sind überall um uns herum." "Wer sind, mein Herr?". "DIE FICKER, JUNGE! SIE SIND GEKOMMEN, UM UNS ZU FICKEN!". Und dann konnte Gret sie auch sehen. Schmierige, schmutzige Dinge, die sich überall auf den Straßen winden. Braun und verrottet und ohne Zweifel mit Ansteckungen behaftet, die man sich kaum vorstellen kann. Wie lange waren sie schon hier und warteten darauf, zuzuschlagen? Die Ficker. DIE FICKER. ÜBERALL, ÜBERALLHIN, ALLERORTS. "Übernimm den Punkt, Junge. Ich brauche dich bei mir". Der General warf Gret einen alten Mopp zu, der an einem Ende abgebrochen und spitz war und vage nach Feuchtigkeit und Zitrone roch, und zog seinen eigenen treuen Säbel aus dem Futter seines Schlafrocks. Die Männer standen Rücken an Rücken. Nur die beiden gegen die Welt. Bewaffnet und bereit. Die Ficker hatten sie jetzt gesehen. Sie waren alle in der Nähe und näherten sich. Einer stürzte nach vorne und schwenkte eine Tüte Doughnuts, wobei ihm die Eingeweide wackelten, als er kam, aber der General war schnell. Ein kunstvoller Stich. Er hat den Ficker mit seinem rostigen Stahl aufgespießt. Himbeermarmelade spritzte auf die Straßen. Ein Weibchen der Gruppe kreischte. Sie war ganz rot und wölbte sich, ohne Zweifel trug sie Brut. Sie taumelte auf die tapferen Krieger zu. Jetzt war Gret an der Reihe. Ein Schlag mit dem Moppkopf in ihren verschwitzten und geäderten Schädel. Das Sie-Ding brodelte durch zusammengebissene Zähne, griff nach dem Mopp, aber Gret war schneller. Eins zwei. Schlag, Schlag. Irgendetwas ging kaputt, und die Bestie war draußen und leckte ihren Schleim auf die Pflastersteine.

 No.2988

Er hatte ihn vor drei Jahren zum ersten Mal getroffen, am frühen Nachmittag an der Bushaltestelle in der Stadt, in der Nähe der Mülleimer und des McDonalds. Der Quester war wie aus dem Nichts aufgetaucht, roch nach Chemikalien mit einem Hauch von etwas Faulem und war in eine energische Diskussion mit scheinbar allen und niemandem gleichzeitig verwickelt. Der Quester, ungehemmt von allen üblichen sozialen Konventionen, hatte sein Gewicht eifrig mit einem Knall auf die Plastikbank neben Gret gepflanzt und ohne einen Schlag zu verpassen, weit über die bequemen Grenzen des persönlichen Raums hinausgestürmt und Gret umarmt eine halb männliche Umarmung, halb Headlock. Gret taumelte überrascht und ließ sein Nokia-Handy mitten im Snake-Spiel fallen. Sein Instinkt war zu fliehen, aber der Quester war stärker, als er aussah. "AH! Ich habe kein Geld!" stammelte Gret. Der Suchende zog Grets Kopf näher und brachte seine Lippen zu seinem Ohr. Gret fühlte nasse Stoppeln und roch Speckpisse. "Batterien", spuckte der Quester aus. "Sie sind in meinem Kopf und fressen. Muss Säure bekommen!", und als Gret zitterte, sein Geist voller Bilder von den scharfen Geräten, die der Quester unweigerlich tragen würde, die in seinen vielen Taschen zusammenklirrten, fühlte Gret, wie er ein wenig tat puh. Plötzlich ließ der Druck um seinen Hals nach und er war wieder ganz allein. Nur ein paar lose Tabak- und Kekskrümel und dieser anhaltende chemische Geruch verrieten, dass der Quester jemals dort gewesen war. Er sah ihn erst vier Monate später wieder.

 No.2989

Der Suchende, der Suchende. Stolz unterwegs, der Quester. Auf einer anderen Quest, dem Quester.
eine aufgerollte Zigarette, die faul aus seinem Mund baumelte, und eine Tasche voller Kleingeld und weißer Hundescheiße, kam der Quester.
Und dann war er da, es war der Bischof, der hoch aufgerichtet mit seinem Papphut dastand, sein Bischofsamt vor dem Woolworths predigte und Kunden verärgerte, die höhnten und ihr Pick-n-Mix warfen.
Der Quester beäugte ihn neugierig, als er einem vorbeiwackelnden Burgeroid Verdammnis entgegenschrie.
"Zu den Feuern mit euch! Du Ostern des entweihten Fleisches! Du Knabber der Sesambrötchen! In die Feuer! in die Flammen!"
"Entschuldigung", krächzte der Quester und spuckte dabei ein bisschen Flem aus. "Was machst du hier?"
Der Bischof drehte sich um und bemerkte erst jetzt, dass der Quester da war, kurzzeitig überrascht, dass ein anderer seine Anwesenheit mit allem anderen als der üblichen Verachtung zur Kenntnis genommen hatte. Diese Überraschung wich schnell der Verärgerung darüber, dass diejenige, die ihn unterbrochen hatte, diese Gossenratte gewesen war, die vor ihm stand.
"Warum, ich predige das Wort, mein Kind. Ich spreche die Wahrheit zu dieser verdammten Höllenlandschaft. Jemand muss es tun."
Der Quester zupfte fragend an seinen unebenen Bartstoppeln und saugte lange und tief an seinem Fagarillo.
"Du bist ein Kämpfer, ein Mann mit Prinzipien. Ich respektiere das, obwohl ich es nicht ganz verstehe. Was sagst du zu einer Suche?"

Zuerst war nichts, und dann war da Gret.
Gret war ein Kerl. Nur ein kleiner Kerl. Staundig und rund und voller Wurst. Er schnitt sich selbst die Haare, lebte bei seiner Mutter und las gern Wikipedia-Artikel. Die Leute sagten Gret, er sei naiv, aber er dachte nur, er sei aufgeschlossen. Ich meine, wie viel kannst du wirklich wissen? Als Kind hatte Gret ein Problem mit Bettnässen.

 No.2990

Und dann waren sie es. Alle Jungen. Alle Männer. Die Banditen. Die Waffenbrüder.
An der Spitze unserer fröhlichen Bande stand der Mann selbst. Der Mythos. Die Illusion. Kein anderer als der Quester. Stolz in seinem besten Hawaii-Hemd (nur ein Fleck) und seinem immer fließenden Mantel mit Taschen schlendernd, der nach Kippen und Schweinekratzern riecht. Er trug ein selbstgefälliges Grinsen auf seinem stoppeligen Nagetiergesicht, als wollte er sagen: "Was jetzt, Aliens? Was jetzt?".
An den Flanken kamen der General und der Bischof. Stark und stolz. Komplimente wie Salz und Pfeffer. Der General in einem steifen Marschgang, sonnte sich in der eingebildeten Bewunderung der Menge, die herausgekommen war, um ihn zu bezeugen. Raus aus den Waitroes und raus aus den Gregg's gegenüber. Keuchhusten und Küsse blasen und versuchen, ihm eine große Ausgabe zu verkaufen (nein danke). Der General fühlte sich wie Gold an. Es war wieder seine Zeit. Der Bischof an seiner Seite, ermächtigt durch gerechte Kraft. An seiner Nase herabblickend auf den Abschaum und die Ratten und die Scheißkinder mit ihren Macheten und Sturmhauben. Sie würden bald weg sein. Sie wären weg. Niemand konnte sie jetzt aufhalten. Nein, ich will das große Problem nicht, geh weg.
Dahinter wippte unser Junge Gret. Dome frisch geschoren (fast völlig gleichmäßig!) und trägt sein schönes, sauberes Hemd von seinem Job bei den Cash Converters. Er wusste nicht wirklich, warum er dort war, aber er war zu höflich, um jetzt einen Rückzieher zu machen.
Es würde sicher ein Tag kommen.

 No.2992

I LOVE BIG BLACK DINGUS

 No.2993

but #I don't like cricket

 No.2994

(I love it)

 No.2996

Und dann war er da. Es war das Echte. Der echte Artikel. So echt. So authentisch. Er schritt stolz, niemandes Regeln außer seinen. Kein Markenzeichen auf seiner Kleidung, eigentlich selbst gewebt, aus Schafwolle. Seine eigenen Schafe. Seine eigene echte, einzigartige Rasse, gefüttert mit seinem eigenen Schaffutter, hergestellt aus Haaren und Hefe. Alles echt. Alles original. Niemand außer ihm. Kein Haar an seinem Körper, das er nicht selbst gestylt hätte. Seine ganz eigenen Designs, ein toller, verworrener Jamboree aus widersprüchlichen Längen und Farben. Niemand außer ihm. Man konnte ihm keinen Namen geben, und wenn, dann würde er ihn ändern. Er kam stolz in die Bar, schlug mit der Hand auf den Tisch. Verschiedene bunte Insekten unversöhnlichen Ursprungs fielen aus seinem Ärmel und er schien einen konstanten Glitzerstrom auszuströmen. Gret bemerkte sein Parfüm. Scharf und buttrig, süß und sauer, verführerisch und doch gefährlich, ein Angriff auf die Sinne. "Was hast du getrunken?" sagte er und deutete mit seinen lackierten Nägeln auf Grets Limonade. "Meine eigenen tranken nur das, was ich gebraut habe. Ein Geheimnis sind My'eth Brewdling-Techniken". Bevor Gret antworten konnte, war er weg, nicht an Grets Antwort interessiert. Der Junge war nur eine Stütze in seinem Stück. Er nahm eine kraftvolle Haltung ein, und mit dröhnender Stimme wandte er sich an den Raum. "Was höre ich iseth doth muzak?". Vorwurfsvoll deutete er auf das verkrustete Soundsystem, das seine vorhersehbaren Pop-Beats in den Raum dröhnte, eine Hintergrundatmosphäre, die längst nur noch ein Teil der Szene geworden und im Unterbewusstsein des Ortes versunken war. "Ich nehme nur an den Klanglandschaften meines einsamen Designs teil" Er holte ein Saiteninstrument aus seiner bisexuellen Manbag. Sie sah aus wie eine Laute, schien aber aus Treibholzstücken und alten Konservendosen zusammengebaut worden zu sein, die neonpinkfarbenen Saiten waren mit einem zähflüssigen Schleimgel überzogen, das sich beim Zupfen frei in alle Richtungen katapultierte. Der Sound war irgendwo zwischen einer Gitarre, einer Sitar und einem undichten Abflussrohr, und der Song war kurz. Er spielte nie zweimal dieselbe Note. "Und jetzt, für dich hörbares Vergnügen, das Solo!". Er knöpfte seine Hosen auf und stand aufrecht da, eine halbe Beschneidung und mindestens vier Piercings. Er fing an zu frustrieren, rein und raus, rein und raus, in dem eigentümlichsten Rhythmus. Das Treibholz hob sich und die Saiten begannen unter dem Druck zu reißen. Der Sound war absolut einzigartig. Absolut einzigartig.

 No.2997

I hate niggers, I hate Jews.
I hate spics and arabs, too.

 No.2998

And this is important for various reasons.
Reason 1)

 No.2999

Lass es mich dir jetzt sagen. Lass es mich dir jetzt sagen. Lassen Sie mich Ihnen jetzt etwas über den Bischof erzählen. Der Bischof war kein komplizierter Mann. Er war einfach besser als die meisten. Ein Mann von höchster Würde und Tugend. Er stand immer sehr aufrecht und fest. unfehlbar, unverrückbar, unveränderlich mit der Zeit. Wie ein großer schroffer Felsen stand er triumphierend inmitten eines Ozeans der Sünde. All die kleinen Kreaturen. Die kleinen Kobolde in ihren Rinnen. Die abscheulichen, üblen, verwerflichen Dinger, die sie waren, mit ihren "Trainingsanzügen" und ihren untauglichen Körpern. Hühnchen-Burger aus batteriebetriebenen Hühnchen kauen und die Luft, die er atmete, mit ihren lauten Furzboxen verschmutzen, die mit diesen dummen "Boy Racer" -Auspuffen ausgestattet sind. Die Welt war zum Teufel gegangen, so schien es dem Bischof. Er erinnert sich noch immer an die alten Menschen. Die guten Leute. Die wahren Menschen. Die Menschen, die dabei waren, als Gene Roddenberry alle nationalen Barrieren niederriss und die Welt endlich zusammenbrachte. Die Leute, die John Lennon früher beim Singen zugehört haben, haben wirklich verstanden, was er gesagt hat. Nicht wie die Kreaturen von heute, die nichts außer "Play Station" und der Wahl von BNP schätzen konnten. Es war genug, um dich krank zu machen. Es war genug, um einen Mann hier in der Gegend zum Schreien und Fluchen zu bringen und eine VERDAMMTE VERGELTUNG ZU FORDERN. In einer gesunden Welt gäbe es rechtschaffene Menschen. Leute mit hoch erhobenen Fäusten, bereit, alles zurückzunehmen, ihre fetten Gesichter zu zerschmettern und diese rücksichtslosen Zigaretten in ihren Augen auszudrücken. ES GIBT EIN ZEICHEN! SIEHST DU ES NICHT? Hier könnten KINDER sein, du unbedachter Dummkopf! Und die Kinder übrigens. Es würde etwas gegen sie unternommen werden. Sie würden einige verdammte Manieren lernen. Er würde diese "Sexboxen" und "50 Sents" sofort wegnehmen. Bringen Sie ihnen einige echte Vorbilder wie Bob Marley oder Malcolm X bei.

 No.3000

At that very moment I realized that I would probably never read Infinite Jest.

 No.3001

>>3000
DINGDINGDINGDINGDING
POST 3000!!!
CONGRATULATIONS!!!

 No.3002

YOU HAVE WON THE PRIZE

 No.3003

And the prize consists of a variety of prizes.
prize #1.

 No.3004

- REASON 2:

 No.3005

That's right, prize number one is reason number 2, and reason 2 is

 No.3006

Und dann war das Ding auf einmal über ihm. Zugespitzte Rankenanhängsel suchten das weiche Fleisch an seinem Nacken. Gret war sprachlos. Ein kalter Schock durchfuhr ihn und es war, als ob die Zeit verlangsamt würde, als er spürte, wie das verletzende Wesen seinen Weg hinein erzwang. Es war keine schnelle Aufgabe. Das Ding rammte und zerriss, wobei es mit einer Aggression Brocken wegschleuderte, wie die einer bösartigen streunenden Katze, die Gret einmal versehentlich in die Enge getrieben hatte. Er hörte ein Knacken und spürte eine Nässe, von der er hoffte, dass sie nicht von ihm stammte. Als erster reagierte der General. "Nein!" er schrie. "Nicht der Junge! Nimm mich!" und er warf sich zu Boden in einer gespielten Nachstellung eines tapferen Kriegshelden, der auf eine Granate springt, nur dass es keine Granate gab und die Parasiten es nur für angebracht hielten, den alten Mann zu ignorieren. Er war keine Bedrohung, er war wertlos. Er war nichts. Angespornt durch die Zurschaustellung des Generals erregte der Bischof dann Aufmerksamkeit, getrieben von der Verpflichtung, nicht übertroffen zu werden. Er hob seinen Besenstielstab aus Plastik und deutete zielstrebig auf diesen ungepflegten Jungen, den er nie besonders mochte. Er öffnete seinen Mund, um eine großartige biblische Linie wie King und Mandela vor sich zu bringen, und bekräftigte die Autorität und Würde, die er sicherlich besaß. Es kam keine Linie, und der Bischof stand nur da, mit offenem Mund und unbeweglich, während er zusah, wie der Junge vor Schmerzen schmerzte. Sein Gesicht jetzt ganz rot, und Tränen strömen. Klingt kreischende Verzweiflung, dass der Bischof nicht bereit war, ihm zu antworten, und der Bischof wusste nicht, was er tun sollte. Der Quester hat nur zugesehen. Mit besorgtem Blick beobachtet? Nein, Faszination, und dann ein schiefes Lächeln. Die Welt wurde jetzt weich für Gret. Verlust von Definition und Kontext. Er hörte seine eigenen Schreie wie in dritter Person. Er hatte jetzt ein unheimliches Gefühl. Eine Erinnerung an eine Erinnerung, eingeklemmt zwischen alten Gedanken und mentalen Trümmern. Jetzt könnte alles aufhören. Er könnte einer von ihnen sein. Einer von wem? Wer war er? Wie lange hatte er? …

 No.3007

PRIZE NUMBER TWO
It's Episode 1 of Blake's 7 on Youtube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2warRbMFOpk

 No.3009

prize the third:

 No.3010

More of this German sci-fi story.
"Greg!" rief Bill und riss Gregory aus seinem Tagtraum. Der Arbeitstag war vorüber, und die Bande ging wie immer durchs Lokal. "Kommst du, Greg?" sagte Bill. "Ja, Kurskollege". Die Kneipe mit seinen Freunden. Was für eine normale Sache. Vielleicht würden sie Fußball schauen. Vielleicht würde er endlich die Nuss knacken, die die hübsche Bardame war. Alles kann passieren, alles kann…
Das erste, was Gret auffiel, war der deutliche BO des Questers, dann sein unrasiertes Gesicht. Er lächelte anerkennend. "Hah! Er ist zurück", verkündete er niemandem im Besonderen und stieß Gret dann ein Glas mit eingelegten Zwiebeln direkt ins Gesicht. Nur waren es keine eingelegten Zwiebeln, sah Gret, als sein Blick schärfer wurde. Da war so etwas wie ein Wurm oder vielleicht ein Tintenfisch, der immer noch in diesem trüben braunen Essig zuckte. Für einen Moment fühlte sich Gret vertraut, als ob er mit einem alten Freund wiedervereint wäre, und dann, als die richtigen Teile seines Gehirns endlich in Gang gekommen waren, taumelte er und fuhr hoch. Ein stechender Schmerz in seinem Nacken. "Ah!" schrie er auf, als seine Finger nach der immer noch offenen Wunde griffen. "Halt still, du dummer Junge!" sagte eine Stimme hinter ihm. Es war Bischof. Er kniete dort und bemühte sich, eine Packung antiseptischer Pflaster für Kinder mit Flintstones-Designs zu öffnen. Gret hatte das Gefühl, dass er ernsthaftere medizinische Hilfe brauchte, fand sich aber damit ab, nicht darüber nachzudenken. Der Quester schien mit seinem Fang zufrieden zu sein. Er klopfte mit einem überwucherten Fingernagel gegen das Glas und gab dem zunehmend wütenden Parasiten gurrende und küssende Geräusche von sich. "Was wirst du damit machen?" fragte der General. "Zur Hölle, wenn ich das weiß, Mann", sagte der Quester jovial, warf das Glas spielerisch zwischen seinen beiden Händen hin und her und stellte es dann auf eine Mülltonne. Gret nahm nun endlich seine Umgebung wahr. Sie waren in einer Gasse. Es sah aus wie der Platz hinter den Woolworths. Da war ein Stapel Pappkartons, einige übel riechende Mülleimer und um ihn herum auf dem Boden ausgebreitet war das provisorische Medikit des Questers. Meistens alte Schraubenschlüssel, stumpfe Küchenmesser mit morschen Plastikgriffen, ein Korkenzieher. Gret vermisste Bill.

 No.3011

And the fourth and final prize, for you the winner…

 No.3012

It's a real woman!
,(())),
'(("""))'
'(|*_*|)'
: = :
_) (_
/`_ , _`\
/ (_>*<_) \
/ / ) ( \ \
\ \/ . \/ /
\_)\_/(_/
| \_/ )
\ / /
\/ /
(;
\""\
\""\
))"")-)
((__/| *
A legitimate ASCII art woman. I have made her for you, so now you finally have a girlfriend! Go ahead. She's all yours, buckaroo!

PS, if the art gets garbled, that's your problem, bud. She's your wife now. No call backs. No Refunds.

 No.3014

WHY ARE THESE NIGGERS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Yelled bidup.

 No.3015

because

 No.3016

he didn't have much else to say, if we're quite honest.

 No.3020

Except that

I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE, MY OTHER BROTHERS CAN'T DENY

 No.3021

But what if they could deny?

 No.3022

What if a man dared to think beyond?

 No.3024

I think I was apathetic towards Beyond Good and Evil though I thoroughly enjoyed The Gay Science, which by the way is probably the most accurately named novel since Death in Venice.

 No.3026

Beyond Good and Evil's not bad, though I think Michel Ancel really peaked at Rayman 2: The Great escape.

 No.3027

File: 1648080347402.jpg (147.93 KB, 968x690, 484:345, download (4).jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

Watching my Japanese girlfriend on Twitch again, bros.

 No.3028

Look at her. Soft, feminine, perfect, and mine. All mine. She speaks to me, through the screen. We have a special bond. Those other viewers think she's theirs, but they are wrong. It's me and she. Only we have that special connection. I post the comment, she respond, looking slightly confused, yet deeply amused by the my infinite charm and wit. That's love, and that's real, and you can't say it isn't so.

 No.3030

Top ten things my Twitch girlfriend has said to me
1.Thank you for the bits
2.Thank you for the follow
3.Konichiwa [username]san, how are you today?
4.can we get a hype train going?
5.*slightly confused smile upon reading my comment
6.if we make it all the way to 10,000 subs, I'll wear a hat
7.welcome raiders
8.do you like my outfit?
9.*some kind of meme that I didn't really understand
10.

 No.3034

When's Tyrone coming over? I need you out of here when he gets here anon

 No.3035

WHY DOES HE ALWAYS RUIN IT FOR ME!?

 No.3036

AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 No.3037

ARRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 No.3038

WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF

 No.3039

NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER

 No.3040

NIGGERS EVERYWHERE! NIGGERS EVERYWHERE! NIGGERS IN MY HAIR! THERE ARE NIGGERS IN MY HAIR!

 No.3041

JEREMY, YOU STOP THIS RIGHT NOW! THERE ARE NOT ANY OF "THEM" IN YOUR HAIR, AND I DO NOT APPRECIATE YOUR LANGUAGE! ME AND YOUR FATHER DID NOT MARCH FOR EQUAL RIGHTS IN 1910, FOR YOU TO BE BEING A RACIST ON THE INTERNET! YOU SHALL STOP THIS RIGHT NOW, OR IT SHALL BE CUT OFF! AND I MEAN BOTH THE INTERNET AND YOUR LITTLE COCK! DO YOU HEAR ME, JEREMY!?

 No.3042

Oh shit, Tyrone's cummingoming, we'd better get ready

 No.3043

JEREMY

 No.3044

HAMBLIN??? IS THAT YOU

 No.3045

Yelled Nick

 No.3047

"Kers" Fuentes

 No.3048

, caressing his arse sausage.

 No.3049

ARSE?
SAUSAGE?

 No.3050

PETUNIA, DO WE HAVE ANY ARSE SAUSAGE??

 No.3051

I KNOW I HAD SOME ARSE SASUAGE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.

 No.3052

PETUNIA, HAVE YOU BEEN PECKING AT MY ARSE SAUSAGE?

 No.3053

I WENT NOT 6 HOURS THIS MORN, TO THE LOCAL BUTCHERS TO PURCHASE FIVE FEET OF ARSE SAUSAGE, AND NOW IT IS NOWHERE TO BE SEEN.

 No.3054

RUPERT THE DOG, DID YOU EAT MY ARSE SAUSAGE, YOU NASTY LITTLE BEAST? DID YOU EAT IT?

 No.3055

I WAS STOCKING UP ON ARSE SAUSAGE FOR THE COMING FEAST, AND YOU NASTY DOG HAVE ONLY GONE AND RUINED MY PLANS TO LOOK GOOD FOR THE VILLAGE VICAR AND MRS PEMBERBROOKE!
JUST MY LUCK! JUST MY LUCK!

 No.3057

I HAD OUGHT TO THROW YOU IN A RIVER, YOU NASTY LITTLE MUTT.

 No.3058

OH HERE IT IS.

 No.3059

NEXT TIME, RUPERT.
NEXT TIME.

 No.3060

Hey guys, I just got hit by a car, what should I do now?

 No.3061

said

 No.3062

Darnell

 No.3063

Who wasn't black.

 No.3064

but sure had a sack.

 No.3065

A sack of precious jewels.

 No.3066

File: 1648521228574.png (183.75 KB, 283x302, 283:302, Screenshot 2022-03-28 at 0….png) ImgOps iqdb

Jewels, used as currency to watch the live buck breaking.

 No.3067

Will Smith's in need of a few rounds at the breaking barn it would seem.

 No.3074

KEEP MY WIFE'S CUCK OUTCHA FUCKIN' FUCK!

 No.3076

A dusty book sits on the floor. Titled "Let's write a novel post by post", the name of the author cannot be made out, except for the letters L-I-T. It's unknown how long it has been since someone has updated this book. Days, possibly 7. Unsure of what else to add, I place the book back on the ground and walk away.

AND THEN A

 No.3077

WILD DEVELOPMENT

 No.3078

BUCK WILD, THAT IS! AYO AYO AYO!

 No.3079

"He's still on the buck breaking meme"

 No.3080

Said Jethro Jethro. Bellbeaker Jethro. Surfing the cyber winds, riding the cyber tides. His mind but a melange of ideas and information. His very identity forever in flux. He scoops up the data, and he bonds with it, and for a short moment the data is a part of him. It imprints on him and changes him, just a little, and then he slides on down the tubes, slick and chrome, and pansexual, seeking his next hit.

 No.3083

Chrome. Everything chrome. His Fingers chrome. His hands pure chrome.

 No.3084

All hands. His entire body chrome hands. Countless numbers of them.

 No.3085

And endless cascade of chromey fingers, reaching out to grasp

 No.3086

File: 1649427500584.png (442.68 KB, 730x518, 365:259, 1647682693877.png) ImgOps iqdb

The buck that needed broken.

 No.3087

And that buck's name was information.

 No.3088

Information of the highest variety. Information on topics like

 No.3089

Niggers.

 No.3090

and

 No.3091

More niggers. (I'm an American, this is literally all I think about).

 No.3092

and

 No.3093

Seriously, just niggers. Niggers are the only thing Americans are able to comprehend or think about, we are not allowed to consider anything else.

 No.3095

and

 No.3096

>>3095
Negro phalluses

 No.3097

and

 No.3098

sausage?

 No.3099

Arse?
Sausage?

 No.3100

"Arse", "sausage". Jethro puzzled at the words.

 No.3101

He probes his thick chromey databanks.

 No.3102

File: 1649855015601.jpg (48.92 KB, 705x449, 705:449, 1644773083915.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

With a black dildo.

 No.3116

Made of data and chrome.

 No.3117

her sweet little fat tits protruding.

 No.3118

Came Zeglon Zeglon Smeggon Queg, the fertility goddess of the databanks. Farting tunefully, propelled forth on a jet of fragrant oestrogen. Pink, and raw, and smelling of copulation.

 No.3119

With his many hands Jethro takes her. He pleasures her, and beats her, and pulls her hair, violently yanks out her toenails, and as her form bubbles and warps in electronic ecstasy, he says "information. give it to me. Tell me what is arse sausage, or there shall be no more".

 No.3120

"Arse? Sausage?" she says.

 No.3121

"Aaaahh, I remember not. You shall have to pound me a little with the meat tenderizer"

 No.3122

Jethro grabs her roughly by the throat, and starts to forcibly dress her in modest clothing, while pumping her with de-aphrodisiacs.
"NO!" She screams "I MUST BE RUDE, CRUDE, AND TOTALLY NUDE!"
"Information" demands Jethro.

 No.3123

"Well, I can only give you the facts"
Fact 1:

 No.3125

MovieBob won
Fact 2:

 No.3126

The end is nigh
Fact 3:

 No.3130

This is all an elaborate magical ritual designed to liberate the NEET, and manifest my gf into reality
Fact 4

 No.3133

Black cock is superior.

 No.3134

for the production of arse sausage.

 No.3135

"Arse? Sausage" said Jethro. "But what is arse sausage?"

 No.3136

Hey look everybody I'm fake gahoole lol

 No.3138

said fake Gahoole, who manifested from a pile of discarded memes and morally suspect pornography.

 No.3139

Fake Gahoole began shitting himself.

 No.3140

aggressively shitting himself.

 No.3141

"And THIS is what you call an arse sausage!" said fake Gahoole.

 No.3142

BLASTING

 No.3143

SMELLY FUCKING SHIT FROM HIS ASS

 No.3144

LASHINGS OF IT

 No.3145

The steel mayates watched in horror from a distance

 No.3146

Jethro took flight, the tidal wave of digital spew hot on his tail.

 No.3147

Threatening to engorge him.

 No.3148

"HARUMPHHH" the Gahoolian abomination strained, plitter-platterings of rancid sewer stew rapid firing with jet like intensity from his lower abdomon.

 No.3149

File: 1650406023430.jpeg (46.75 KB, 601x622, 601:622, 1650117195894.jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

This is what this book's protagonist looks like, by the way.

 No.3150

Said Eggard Pig.

 No.3151

File: 1650426753939.jpeg (46.75 KB, 601x622, 601:622, 1650117195894.jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

>>3150
Eggard Pig, of course, said that to emphasize the point that this picture, is in fact, what the physique and general appearance of this very book you're holding in your hands' protagonist and main character looks like.

 No.3152

Said Eggard Pig.

 No.3153

Who was taking form, emerging from the false Gahoole's torrent of shite. Jethro could only watch in awe and confusion.

 No.3154

As Eggard Pig

 No.3155

File: 1650468173441.jpeg (46.75 KB, 601x622, 601:622, 1650117195894.jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

While looking like this.

 No.3156

Shnarted.

 No.3157

the whole

 No.3158

ARSE SAU-SAHGGE!

 No.3159

Just shnarted it all up. The whole danged thing.

 No.3160

And when the shnarting is accomplished, he turns to Jethro

 No.3161

grob wobbling

 No.3162

Knob bobbling

 No.3163

Job gobbling

 No.3165

And dog slobbering

 No.3166

All this chaos broke him. It was as though he was in the snake pit. Color and sound faded from the world around him. The Earth was cold and shifting beneath his feet.
"Solid ground!" he pleaded, "Just give me an inch of solid ground on which I may stand!"

 No.3167

And through the silence came a voice. Just a solitary voice. And spake thus that voice:

"Dude, who the fuck is Eggard Pig?"

 No.3169

File: 1650568218433.jpeg (46.75 KB, 601x622, 601:622, 1650117195894.jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

Someone who also looks exactly like this guy.

 No.3170

and

 No.3173

File: 1650636149651.jpeg (46.75 KB, 601x622, 601:622, 1650117195894.jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

that's it. He just looks like this, that's all. There is no and.

 No.3174

however

 No.3175

He hid a deep secret that no one would have known unless he had allowed them to know.

 No.3176

File: 1650647105384.jpeg (46.75 KB, 601x622, 601:622, 1650426943751.jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

He was… unbeknownst to all of his friends…

actually a fat german skinhead-affiliated man with short hair and glasses

 No.3177

and

 No.3178

File: 1650658867676.jpeg (46.75 KB, 601x622, 601:622, 1650117195894.jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

Nothing. There still is no "and". He's really fat in secret, that's it.

 No.3179

however

 No.3183

File: 1650709250357.png (541.22 KB, 600x600, 1:1, ClipboardImage.png) ImgOps iqdb

He fell down. He can't get up. He will be stuck in this position forever.

 No.3184

"Repetitive, purposeless behaviors are a common symptom of autism. Such behaviors might include repetitively lining up toys, spinning objects, or opening and closing drawers or doors. Repetitive behaviors can also involve talking or asking about the same thing over and over" he read in a book once. Now he was laying on his side reflecting on this and wondering when things went so wrong.

 No.3185

Roughly two years ago he had started a thread on tvch.moe/lit/. "This'll be a fun little exercise" he had thought, "maybe trigger a bit of activity in this budding community". But before long, the autism had taken hold.

 No.3186

He returned to that thread every day. It was routine now. It was habit.

 No.3187

Afterwards he would masturbate to Madea movies and then ejaculate into his own mouth. Another practice that became routine for him. He found all the Madea movies arousing, of course, but Madea Goes to Jail was his favorite.

 No.3188

File: 1650780196359.png (541.22 KB, 600x600, 1:1, 1650709250357.png) ImgOps iqdb

>>3187
>>3187
Considering his massive girth, it's quite impressive of a feat to manage to ejaculate into his own mouth. He has to clear his gut with his sperm to make it into his awaiting maw. It requires artillery-team level precision.

 No.3189

However

 No.3191

He was pretty good at managing to mentally compute the calculations required to get his semen into his awaiting mouth and large stomach.

 No.3192

"Glub glub" he would say

 No.3193

File: 1650834203393.png (541.22 KB, 600x600, 1:1, 1650709250357.png) ImgOps iqdb

Mouth overflowing with semen. He was a heavy cummer, despite his horrible lifestyle and general unhealthy habits, his testicles were still hard at work giving him enough seed to manage to fill his mouth with, time after time.

 No.3195

If you're lost, you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting
Time after time
If you're lost, you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting (I will be waiting)
Time after time

 No.3196

I'll ejaculate into my mouth accurately despite my massive gut,
Time after time

 No.3198

Time after time.

 No.3200

And so, after singing that song, Mr. Pig jerked off to Madea Goes To Jail again, being able to recite every line from memory, and managed to arc his cumshot into his mouth, over his nearly two foot tall gut, past his double chin, and into his open hungry mouth, filling it with slimey, salty semen.

 No.3201

but mayhaps

 No.3202

He will do it again, right now. He grabs his erect penis and jerks it to Tyler Perry again.

 No.3203

However

 No.3204

However nothing. He just does it again and again, regardless of the faggot that keeps writing "however". There is no however, and there never will be. Eggard keeps eating his sperm while watching Madea goes to prison.

 No.3205

However

 No.3206

Nothing.

 No.3207

Else could be closer to the truth than

 No.3209

What I'm going to tell you now.

 No.3210

File: 1651013516444.png (541.22 KB, 600x600, 1:1, 1650709250357.png) ImgOps iqdb

Which is that I just ejaculated into my mouth yet again. Fuck, Madea Goes To Prison is hot. It really wears me out jerking off this frequently considering my girth.

 No.3211

However

 No.3213

…HOWEVER…

 No.3215

BEANS might be useful

 No.3222

File: 1651159102977.png (541.22 KB, 600x600, 1:1, 1650709250357.png) ImgOps iqdb

In Eggard's goal to propel more semen into his mouth.

 No.3224

Although, truth be told

 No.3226

The beans probably wouldn't be that useful.

 No.3235

File: 1651459584633.jpg (283.24 KB, 1080x1021, 1080:1021, 1650942826250.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

>>3226

 No.3237

DAWN OF THE 23RD DAY.

 No.3238

Pedro the interdimensional space mantis rolls out of his makeshift bed deep in the caverns of the Movieblob's stomach.

"Well, you know what they say" he says to himself "Always end on a song".

"And now, the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I travelled each and every highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way…

 No.3239

Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way…

 No.3240

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, MY FRIEND

AND WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'LL KEEP FIGHTING, TO THE END

 No.3241

IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN
IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

 No.3243

And more, much more than this, I did it my way…

 No.3244

I…

 No.3246

Did a shit

 No.3249

I read Brick by Brick
And more, much more than this…

 No.3250

I said the nigger word real loud in public and everybody clapped, especially the white women.

 No.3251

And more, much more than this…

 No.3252

File: 1651610807156.jpg (280.17 KB, 1066x1324, 533:662, 1651102908636.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

The white women dropped to their knees and opened their mouth for the awaiting BBC

 No.3253

And more, much more than this…

 No.3255

I DID IT MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

 No.3256

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY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 No.3257

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY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 No.3258

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

…DAWN OF THE 21ST.

 No.3259

The following is a list of amendments and apologies:

Firstly, I apologise for using the names Pablo and Pedro interchangeably. There's no deeper meaning to this. I'm just a racist.

Secondly

 No.3260

File: 1651681978240.png (41.69 KB, 500x500, 1:1, 1651159644335.png) ImgOps iqdb

I do *not* apologize for my obsession with BBC.

 No.3261

Thirdly

 No.3262

I apologise deeply for all of my words and deeds. I apologise for the evil that I have wrought.

Fourthly

 No.3263

>>3262
I feel I must inform you all that there are no real, actual, pedophiles on the webring, nor have their ever been, except that guy who goes around spamming links to honeypot sites that stay up for hours because all of our jannies are American and sleep for a large part of the day. If any Europeans, Asians, or Oceanians would like to help with that, please volunteer jannieship today.

And finally

 No.3264

I'm sorry, bros. I don't actually know how to write.

 No.3265

I also don't know how to

 No.3266

suck mad cock

 No.3267

, but I can suck

 No.3268

lemons.

 No.3269

Nigger lemons, to be precise.

 No.3270

Shipped from darkest Peru.

 No.3274

JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES JANNIES ARE TRANNIES V

 No.3275

But that's a tale for another time.

 No.3276

File: 1652017899134.jpg (137.47 KB, 498x750, 83:125, 1651872623718-4.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

The tale for THIS time, however, is about our morbidly obese friend Eggard pictured above. He's still laying on his back.

 No.3277

T-MINUS 17 DAYS…UNTIL -THE END-.

 No.3278

To be quite honest, Eggard had thought the book would be over by now, and he's struggling to fill the remaining pages.
Ironic, since he's enough of a fat fuck to fill a library.

 No.3279

File: 1652042379941.png (541.22 KB, 600x600, 1:1, 1651159102977.png) ImgOps iqdb

As a reminder, thought Eggard, this is what I look like, still laying on my back.

 No.3280

Then Eggard had a bright idea. He could sing the Eggard Pig song to fill these tedious moments.

"HELLO EVERYYBODY I'M EGGARD PIG, AND

 No.3281

ONE MIGHT SAY I'M RATHER QUITE BIG.
I LIE HERE AT THE END OF THE BOOK, AND

 No.3282

IF I DARE SAY, MY COCK IS STUCK!
BETWEEN TWO ROLLS OF FAT.
MY HAT I SHIT IN.
I USE MY HAT AS A TOILET, BECAUSE I CAN'T GET UP.
I

 No.3283

File: 1652051817527.png (199.86 KB, 680x889, 680:889, --L.png) ImgOps iqdb

POST ON MY FAVORITE WEBSITE SPORTSCHAN

 No.3284

CAUSE I'M A SPORTSFAN.
BUT I CAN'T PLAY SPORTS, BECAUSE I'M STUCK!
UPON THIS FLOOR, MY STOMACH GROWS MORE.
MY ASS STARTS TO BORE INTO THE FLOOR.

 No.3285

MY DICK IS SMALL…
LIKE A PEA!
SMALL AND ROUND AND GREEN.
BUT NEVER SEEN…
BY LA-DIES!
I

 No.3286

MIGHT HAVE RA-BIES!

 No.3287

File: 1652060550016.png (541.22 KB, 600x600, 1:1, 1651159102977.png) ImgOps iqdb

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

EAT MY OWN SPERM, DAY IN AND DAY OUT

 No.3288

WITHOUT A DOUBT

 No.3289

I'M FULL OF GOUT

 No.3290

MY BELLY IS BIG

BECAUSE I'M EGGARD PIG

 No.3291

I WRITE IN CAPS, BECAUSE I'M A RAGEPIG, MY MOM CALLED ME RALPH, BUT I'M THE MEMPHIS KING.

 No.3292

Most shocking of all, I don't know how to ride a bike. But that's okay because I have heelys.

 No.3293

AND I DO WHEELIES

 No.3295

I SUCK SUCK SUCK

I FUCK FUCK FUCK

THE WEENIEEEEEES

 No.3296

AND THAT IS WHY
MY
NAME
IS

 No.3301

Wheezy Metherson

 No.3303

Wencefeddery gumfraled yurs ago, came the grognards to our shores. They take our land. Thye take our way of life. Now we walk they way, talk they talk, but some still remember tthe old ways.
A people snugged out before they knew they was a people, and creed erase in public day. They came, they took, adn no one saw, for no one had the words to say.
I remember the old days, the gold days. The good days of richess and merph, when the band would stand, and toot the horn, toot the horm, toot the horn, all day.
We knew not what was until all was gone, and now that story shall never be say.

RIP the internet

 No.3305

GOOMEN GAMMEN GOOMEN GAMMEN GOOMEN GAMMEN GOG MAGOG
FRINGING FORTH, FLIGING FORTH
HE RISE HE RISE HE RISE HE RISE HE RISE HE RISE
AYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAAYAY

 No.3307

"Will you shut up man?", commanded Bidup.

 No.3308

But there was no one left to hear.
The end.

 No.3309

Chapter 十億

"The end." That's what Metherson had transcribed into his pert buttock.

 No.3312

scrooning shartfully into the scronensphere

 No.3313

TWELVE BULLION hooded figures crooched below, as Metherson

 No.3314

hunked his crunk, and gelbrellowed infettently into the inky ether…
Ahok! he'd sayy,. A cock! A croen! and the endless chasms did loom, flexing, breathing, beatinging with essence. Not of life or strife, but that nother thing that dwelt in-btween. Homungling, and grungling. Yaaaawning forth to spill and srpok, and writhe and cooke. It came and went, and slipped and spent, and nary a piece was wasted, and every piece was tasted.

 No.3315

"A world…without Yakuza. A world…without a way to leave."

 No.3316

File: 1652733833749.png (541.22 KB, 600x600, 1:1, 1651159102977.png) ImgOps iqdb

Don't worry guys, I'm still here in case you forgot about me, said Eggard Pig, still laying on his back, unable to get up.

 No.3317

I'm having an episode

 No.3318

I'M HAVING AN EPISODE
AAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 No.3319

IT'S NOT A BOOK AT ALL
IT'S NOT A BOOK AT ALL
IT'S JUST A THREAD ON /LIT/
IT'S JUST A THREAD OF SHIT POSTS
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 No.3324

And in that moment Eggard Pig had understood the nature of his existence.

 No.3326

File: 1652893921977.jpg (283.19 KB, 1080x1021, 1080:1021, 1652505989155.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

To be more like this guy in this picture.

 No.3328

Or die trying.

 No.3330

>>3319
"If the Infinite Jest can be considered a novel then so can this" I thought to myself, "Fuck that gay hippie shit."

 No.3332

Fuck Jane Austin too for that matter. Stupid stuck up tart. Needs a good rape is what she needs.
Never read her books, just don't like her.

 No.3333

And fuck Herman Melville.
"Arg arg, hark! The sea! I've got a wooden leg. Siver me timbers!"
Fucking bollocks, I could write that.
Never read it, mind.

 No.3334

And Edgar Allen Poe, don't get me going.
"Oh, forsoothe, a raven doth shitte upon my hat, and my wife is dead of lice."
Something like that, right? Never read it.

 No.3335

And JG Ballard. Who is JG Ballard? Don't care. Don't like him.

 No.3336

Anne Rice. Anne fucking post on tumblr and diddle your clit, you vile old fag hag.
Never read her work? It's like Draculas, right?

 No.3337

And Irvine Welsh.
"Erg, I'm Irvine Welsh. I'm Scottish, and I've done drugs probably.
Deep fry your own shit and eat it, if you're so good.
Never read it. Is it good?

 No.3338

HG Welles is shit
HG Belles is shit
Johnathan Cagney is shit

 No.3340

And Franz Kafka. More Like Franz fucking Kunt.

 No.3343

And CS Lewis.
"Durr, I'm CS Lewis"
Makes you want to slap the cunt.

 No.3347

Don't get me going on William Burroughs. Smacked up heroin tard.
Good guy. Love his work.

 No.3348

Stephen King. More like Stephen fucking Pedophile.

 No.3349

Someone else bring up some authors. I want to berate more of them, because they're all shit.

 No.3350

>>3349
James Joyce, F. Scott Fitzgerald, William Faulkner, Virginia Woolf, John Steinbeck, Earnest Hemingway, Jorge Luis Borges, D. H. Lawrence. They're all fart huffing faggots.

 No.3352

I'm Gay TBH

 No.3353

And I'm still a better writer than JK Rowling.

 No.3354

Fuck you, Zach.
The End.

 No.3355

=…IN TWO MORE DAYS…THE END.

 No.3356

The end of KIKES.

 No.3357

Goodnight.

 No.3359

File: 1653447384361.png (541.22 KB, 600x600, 1:1, 1651159102977.png) ImgOps iqdb

WHEN SUDDENLY, EGGARD PIG RETURNED, STILL ON HIS BACK

 No.3360

Eggard Pig turns and looks you dead in the eye.
"Well, you did it Champ! You read the entire compendium! But tell me, dear reader, did you catch the hidden notes? Did you decipher the hidden meanings?..
Well, you'll just have to read it all again, wont you! Oh, ho ho! Ah ha ha!

He laughed. Fatly he laughed. His gargantuan belly wobbling. Thick ropes of cum blasting with each heave.

 No.3361

Straight into his open mouth, of course. His aim is still impeccable.

 No.3362

He winks a shiny wink straight into the camera.

 No.3363

"MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!"

 No.3365

Cum dripping out of his open mouth.

 No.3366

(CLERICAL DESIGNATION, WILL GNAWT B INCORPORATED EAN2 THE NOVEL EETCELPH: THE THREAD WILL REMAIN OPEN UNTIL MIDNIGHT AWN SUNDAIE TO LET ERRIE1 POAST THEIR CONTRIBEWSHUNS OVAHR THE WEEKEND. TY 4 BEIN A PART OV /LIT/TY HISTOREE MY NIGGAS >%^DDD)

 No.3368

File: 1653623138547.png (26.93 KB, 255x247, 255:247, 1649855215141.png) ImgOps iqdb

Suck my cock, faggot, the novel never ends.

 No.3369

He said angrily. Then he had a moment of realization. He wept and finally came clean. "I'm sorry everybody. The truth is I'm a very thin skinned and insecure person but I use irony and edgy jokes to cover it up. I sometimes talk in silly voices too. I've always been a social outcast and my coping mechanism is to engage in anti-social behavior so I can feel like being ostracized is, in part at least, my choice. But I know it's not."
He wept so hard that his nose started bleeding then continued "Everyone bitches about not being able to find a girlfriend but I just want friends. Everyone only seems to hang with people they knew in school but I was an outcast there too so I don't have friends from those days. How do you even make friends as an adult? Everyone I talk to just acts polite but you can tell it's just an uncomfortable mask they're wearing to get me to stop bothering them. No one calls me anymore. I'm pretty sure my family thinks I'm retarded. I mentioned something to my mom about doing dishes and she was like 'Wow! you know how to do the dishes? I'm so proud of you!'. Like what does she think I've been cooking and eating with all this time? I wish I could just move to some house out in the country but I can't afford it. Prices on everything keep going up. Every time I pay off a credit card it feels like nothing changes at all. I'm beginning to think that debt consolidation thing is a scam and I ruined my credit score for nothing."

 No.3370

File: 1653661247427.jpeg (70.17 KB, 601x622, 601:622, 1651158924714.jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

Eggard pig said, while still having this physique

 No.3371

>>3370
He arose! It was a miracle. The people stood in awe. Eggard was cursed to lay down for all eternity yet here he was standing again. However an easy feeling quickly came over the world. Was this really a miracle or a terrible omen? Was this the work of gods or devils? Was Eggard becoming more human or less?

 No.3372

Suddenly I spoke "Eggard you fiend! I banish you from this realm and cast your soul into the endless fire and torment of hellish damnation! Where you will be beset upon by horrific visions of BBCs smelling your nosehairs and stabbing your rectums. Begone from my sight now foul beast KAKAW!"

 No.3373

Rage Rage, against the dying of the light.

 No.3374

File: 1653680940230.png (541.22 KB, 600x600, 1:1, 1650709250357.png) ImgOps iqdb

Oh shit, all those banishment spells just made him fall back over. Dammit.

 No.3375

File: 1653682883459.jpg (Spoiler Image, 29.39 KB, 306x306, 1:1, a8b423425cb1caf80a29eb3ab6….jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

>>3374
Eggard fallen to his gut splays across the grassy field he had shat upon. "Ish thish ze end fo ze huwite raiche?????" he splutters out of his fat fold mouth. Suddenly he sees something through the sweaty drip covering his eye flaps. A hand has extended out to him. "Get up eggard, you're no character to end a novel on" Grasping the hand in front of him eggard is hoisted into the sky with the force of 40 stampeding bulls. "This is the final chapter of /lit/ writes a novel, you can't just walk into MY house and expect to take over the ending right?" Eggard stares dumbfounded at the large brown bald tattooed man in front of him. Still sweatily gripping his fat numb hand. "tu-tu-tu-tuake yur 'and offa me you fufufufuffilthy nnnininininingger!" "Sorry what did you say there I couldn't hear it over your stutter?" "I said-" "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU SAID" Eggard is suddenly hoisted into the sky and slammed into the ground, cracking the concrete foundation beneath him. He dies instantly. "I guess that's what you might call, a falling action"

 No.3376

File: 1653690545837.png (387.79 KB, 600x600, 1:1, 1653680940230.png) ImgOps iqdb

>>3375
His overall demenour didn't change that much, though. Still morbidly obese, still laying on the ground much like this, still has gallons of his own sperm trickling out of his mouth. Just dead this time.

 No.3377

Well, What have we all learned from this cavalcade of rip-roaring adventure?

Me? I learned to not be afraid. To express myself freely, and proudly, and to loudly proclaim my innermost feelings and desires, such as my erotic obsession with fine silk panties. Oh, they feel so good. They feel so good on my peeny-ween. I feel just like a pretty lady. A pretty delicate lady flower, and I couldn't be more content.

 No.3378

-Mark Mann, 2022

 No.3381

His Switch in hand, the fat jew had taken a lethal dose of soylent.

 No.3382

And given it to an unsuspecting little girl. To take it himself would be useless, for he was immortal as the eternal jew. Luckily, one of the good guys spotted the deed before she could as much as take a sip from it. "That's poison, don't drink it! Where are your parents, sweetheart? Let this be a lesson for life: around jews, watch out for brews!"

 No.3383

A dark figure was hiding in the shadows, stalking its prey, the Jew.

 No.3384

It was the phantom of Eggard Pig. His racist ways tying him down to this material plane.

 No.3385

He fell flat on his back and started cumming.

 No.3386

He scoops up a handful of cum and throws it at the Jew face, blinding him.

 No.3387

I'M GONNA COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

said the yid

 No.3388

File: 1653854463198.jpeg (178.21 KB, 256x192, 4:3, Gahoole gun.jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

Before the yid could coooooom out of nowhere Gahoole decapitates the yid with his ogre hands, he then turns towards Eggard Pig. Gahoole unleashes his ogre mind gun powers and unloads fire into Eggard Pig, leaving him as a giant lump of flesh barely recognizable from the rain of bullets.

 No.3389

You ruined it, you shit it up cause you're all gay and you know that's why you act out against the book. As the last straight man the story ended with me pulling my pubes out my pee hole and pissing away my empire like that bitch Queen Elizabeth. Fuck the Brits forever. USAUSAUSAUSAUSA

 No.3390

File: 1653860029066.jpg (239.53 KB, 1160x1871, 1160:1871, ogre.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

The ogres grabs anon >>3389
and whispers "your in my swamp now" and then violently rapes him.

 No.3391

btw this is all post-script. The actual book ended half of the book ago.

 No.3392

>>3391
Actual book ended when my doo-doo soaked fingers quit posting faggot.

 No.3393

this book has ended. End of conversation.

 No.3394

File: 1653864091595.jpg (239.53 KB, 1160x1871, 1160:1871, ogre.jpg) ImgOps Exif iqdb

>>3393
>>3392
>>3391
The ogre violently rapes all three of you.

 No.3396

There's no more book after this point.

 No.3397

The End……………………………………………………………………………

 No.3398

…or is really just the beginning

 No.3399

of

 No.3401

chapter 8
wrist is gay and probably passed out drunk

 No.3402

epilogue: chapter 9
no matter how much he tried to remind himself that he was supposed to close the shitty thread he just couldnt resist the pull of that sweet potato juice
one drink for tonight was what he thought at the time, but now laying face first on his desk in a small puddle of saliva and vodka he remembered many more swigs of the caustic liquid then he initially planned on
so there he lay, blissfully unaware the deadline had long since passed and his goals lay in ruins

 No.3403

>>3402
then johnny depp comes in bends him over the desk and fucks him with the vodka bottle

 No.3404

And the monkey spake to him, saying:
….. ….. ….. ….. !?!!. ?…. ….. ….. ….. .?.?! .?… …..
!.?.. ….. !?!!. ?…. ..?.? !.?.. ….! .!.!! !!!!! !!… ….! .?…
….. ….. ..!?! !.?!! !!!!! !!!!! !!?.? !.?!! !!!!! !!!!! !!!!! .?…
….! ?!!.? !!!!! !?.?! .?!!! !!.!. ?…. ….. ….. .!?!! .?… …..
….. .?.?! .?… ….. ….! ….. ..!.. ….. !.!!! !!!!! !!!!! !!.?.
….. .!?!! .?… …?. ?!.?. ….. ….! .?… ….. ….. ….! ?!!.?
!!!!! !!!!! !!!!! !?.?! .?!!! !!!!! !!!.? ….. ….. ….. !?!!. ?….
….. ….. ?.?!. ?…. ….! .!!!! !.?.. ….. ..!?! !.?.. ….. .?.?!
.?… …!. ?…. ….. !?!!. ?!!!! !!!!? .?!.? !!!!! .?… ….! ?!!.?
….. .?.?! .?… ….. !…. ….. ….. ….. !.?.. ….. ….. …..
!?!!. ?!!!! !!!!! !!!!! !!?.? !.?!! !!!!! !!!!! !!!!! !!!!. ?…. …..
….. .!?!! .?… ….. ….. .?.?! .?… ….. ….. ….. ….. …..
!…. .!.?. ….. .!?!! .?!!! !!!?. ?!.?! !!.?. ….. ….. ….! ?!!.?
!!!!! !!!!! !!!!? .?!.? !!!!! !!!!! !.?.. ….. ….. …!? !!.?. …..
….. …?. ?!.?. ….. ..!.? ….. ….! ?!!.? ….. …?. ?!.?. …..
….. .!.?. ….. …!? !!.?! !!!!! !!?.? !.?!! !!!.? ….. ….! ?!!.?
….. …?. ?!.?. .!.?. ….. .!?!! .?!!! !!!?. ?!.?! !!.!! !!!.? …..
….. ….. !?!!. ?!!!! !!!!! !!!!! ?.?!. ?!!!! !!!!! !!!!! !!!!! !!!!!
!!!!! .?… ….. ….. ….! ?!!.? ….. ….. ….. .?.?! .?… .!.!!
!!!.! !!!!! !!!!! !!!!. ?.

 No.3405

IT IS ACCOMPLISHED!


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