>>679200 pages!? Why inconvenience yourself?
All you gotta know is that absolutely NOBODY can, without a shadow of a doubt, tell you about our origin story, without making somebody else upset.
I mean you've got Africa, India, Europe, Antarctica, shifting tectonics, ALIENS, jews, ???, the moon, goopy poop, and 'whatever current subsuperpower wants to be world superpower at the moment that all of a sudden found a whole bunch of stuff that indicates they're the first and best'. That's a lot! Thankfully though, 'subsuperpower that wants to be superpower' has been shown to be the most likely in this age, so, for now, it's settled science!
As for the rest of it? It doesn't matter anyway thanks to postmodernism I mean nihilism. Make it up! We've been doing it for, at bare minimumm (depending on how you define 'rewriting'), a little over a century now, because SOMEBODY didn't get the joke originally, and has been throwing a hissy fit ever since.
Of course, maybe you want to fit in with your peers, in which case, just talk about your favorite music, or what useless things you bought recently instead! Nobody, and I mean nobody, wants to hear 'smart talk', it's boring and my attention span only lasts a few seconds before I need to talk about something I saw on social media so I can feel empowered and comfortable!
