/bane/ - Big Guys (4U)

I, Asukadomo Type VIII, issue a fatwah on Matthew Prince, CEO of Cloudflare.

He pretends to be part of the infosec scene while he's actually just a lawyer.
He isn't even a real lawyer, just a dropout.
He conveniently invokes either identity when he needs to appeal to one side.
He has single-handedly blocked Tor, VPN, etc from the internet, for 11 years without rest, by making a trendy webshit as a service that blocks Tor by default, requiring each website admin of a Cloudflare-backed website to overcome philosophical and technical hurdles to even realize this is a problem and to fix it by configuring Cloudflare properly.
In the above, he violated the end-to-end networking principle.
For the vast majority of these 11 years he used ReCaptcha, the most broken piece of shit captcha on earth (which blocks Tor over 50% of the time). It could only be solved by all kinds of tricks like disabling JS which itself raises more red flags on the website that acts like a paranoid retard. If you are blocked by a Cloudflare-backed website, say "somewebsite.com", you have to fill out a ReCaptcha (and then a second one to access "cdn.somewebsite.com"). Each of these steps takes multiple minutes. If you're doing some research it will take hours just to do what took 10 minutes before Cloudflare was invented.
Due to the above, many billions of man hours were wasted browsing websites over Tor, VPN, offices, universities, cafes, etc, due to his broken dipshit idea of blocking "hackers" by IP and making them solve a captcha.
In the above, he violated the purpose of a captcha: to throttle bot comment posts (and similar use cases). There is no other purpose for a captcha, and none would be acceptable. "Thing that stops my site from being rooted" is not a valid use case for a captcha. If you just put a captcha somewhere and only justify it by your opinion, you deserve DEATH. A captcha is not something that can be taken lightly, in network protocol design. He was given high levels of authority, and abused it.
He has single-handedly fabricated a new concept where a website just gives you a captcha because you might be trying to hack it according to some heuristic which almost always gives false positives. Let me state this again: websites did not require a captcha for viewing content before Cloudflare. Not one single website. Dumbass kids getting into webdev now think a captcha gate on the front page is a thing, thanks to Matthew Prince. If you put a captcha on your website anywhere other than a comment or signup form, you are just a nudev eating feces downstream from Matthew Prince.
While implementing all the fuckery above using webdevs (AKA retards), he created the CloudBleed security vulnerability, which caused all of his client bank websites to leak user credentials literally all over the web. Cloudflare no doubt has more of such vulnerabilities, which were obvious and predictable even long before he disclosed Cloudbleed.
He claims that websites are properties, by consistently calling them "web properties", thereby aligning the web as some sort of real estate market where the land owners can sue / jail anyone for made up reasons just like the entertainment industry does with DMCA (or just like land owners do to anyone and everyone for bullshit like "hanging around"). When in reality the internet is just for lulz.
He aligns his philosophy of attacking users when it has a 0.000000001 cent cost to the "web property" with liberal politics. So if you argue that blocking Tor is fucking retarded and pointless, you are labelled a nazi by the left wing sheep. He got rid of 8chan because it was too far from the left - it allowed people to say things without "moderation" (actually it had heavy moderation and /tech/ was complete center). But 8chan made the mistake of not hiring N employees to "moderate" every single thing a user ever posts, and so /pol/ was allowed to exist with its 5 users, and then Tarrant posted his manifesto there. He then tried to formalize his reasoning as "8chan does not uphold rule of law", which means absolutely nothing, but he thought he was real smart for using a phrase he got from his half assed law degree. In reality, he just kicked off 8chan because it was not left wing enough. It did not ban people for saying "nigger".
He has centralized most of the internet. He MITMs every user of his service. He grants this access to the NSA. Not maybe, he does. Just like before Snowden, it was obvious before it was "revealed".
He started off his business by showing how he thwarted a gorillian pedobyte DDoS attack, which has left a mythos in the average script kiddie that "cloudflare is the only way to stop DDoS". On the contrary, what they actually sell to businesses is snakeoil like "blocking hacker IPs", and "blocking scapers", which is another nail in his coffin because the only fucking use the web has is for being scraped. It's literally impossible to use any website made after 2001 without a bash script to retrieve its contents and display it in a terse form.
On top of all of this, he protects child porn, piracy, and scam websites by obscuring their ownership as well as protecting them from DDoS, citing free speech and such while still terminating sites like 8chan.
This faggot's net worth is 8 billion dollars from making a glorified CDN any stupid fucking techie kid could (and did) back before 2010.
There is a cult surrounding this absolute hack of a company. Cloudflare is run by people who do not even understand the most basic engineering principles, who repeatedly show this by explaining how after N years they figured out how to do something previous net companies were already doing 10 years before them. If you say anything bad about Cloudflare you are automatically downvoted on HN and some faggot you're conversing with in a SF cafe will raise his eyebrow like you're one of "them". I'm not saying "bad" as in you called them niggers. I'm saying, if you even disagree with any single technical choice they made, or prefer some other company for one of their services.

Kill Matthew Prince. Behead Matthew Prince. Roundhouse kick Matthew Prince into the concrete. Slam dunk Matthew Prince as a baby into the trash can. Crucify Matthew Prince. Defecate in Matthew Prince's food. Launch Matthew Prince into the sun.

If you delete this post you're gay.