>>152153A lot of it is because many of them wish they were fathers.
Half the "loli" anime I have seen that features loli characters doesn't even sexualize them or only does so in a very small way to b8 the creepier ones into watching/buying merch to goon to. A lot of these "loli" anime is about an MC collecting cute and innocent girls, protecting them from creeps/basically becoming their fathers. Literally loli-rescue/collection shoes. Its often mixed up with the want for a partner so sometimes MC ends up marrying one of them once she comes of age. I got mixed feelings about it but I think its a lot better than the gross complete demhumanization/subversion a lot of lolicon hentai has
As for the moe tropes/cute girls in a lot of non-gooner anime, that is just the author creating idealized girls in an attempt to encourage better behavior among females and to also indulge in a fantasy where woman aren't total whores.