/tv/ - Movies and Television

WHAT THE FUCK

>>370234
F
Chuck Norris so badass that he's going to heaven by kicking ass through hell and beating up satan so he can loop back out at the other side.

it's over

all of the Gen X childhood heroes dying off. hate to see it

Finally, a well-deserved one. A shit actor and a shitty person in general.(CHUCK NORRIS' GHOST BITCHSLAPPED THIS FAGGOT)

>>370241
Does this place just simply hate everyone lmao. Who the hell would get zero hate here

>>370242
>Who the hell would get zero hate here
Menko, perennial winner and all-around swell gal

>>370242
Name one movie where he actually acted convincingly. Even in Way of the Dragon he's like a wet sponge with his short role at the end. Even before the Frank Dux's, the Stephen Seagal's, and all the endless home video losers, Norris was the archetype of a martial arts worm with an inferiority complex with an endless need to puff themselves up on film by pandering to bootlickers.

>>370246
I didn't say there was anything wrong with martial arts. There's something wrong with vain worms like Chuck Norris that give martial arts a bad name, however. In fact, it's arguably the influence of narcissistic worms like Norris and Ed Parker that sent karate especially on a multi-generational decline in the West, diluting and distorting karate's original focus as a practical civilian defense system into a half-assed competitive sport oriented around scoring points in front of referees in what are essentially games of tag. Chuck Norris got his initial fame from winning these tag tournaments and then convinced generations of gullible suckers into thinking that's that karate was all about. That's one of the other reasons I hated him.

>>370248
He helped to mainstream martial arts in the West, inspiring a generation of young people to take them up. Who knows how many of them gained the skills which helped them defend themselves. You're the first person I've encountered who put a niggative spin on that. Many things like shooting/archery, and other forms of hand-to-hand combat, have been organized into competitive sports. I don't see the problem. You strike me as a weakling who fears a challenge, so you throw shade on others who don't, who achieve things.

>>370249
The manner in which that popularity came about was with a terrible price. Legions of narcissistic losers with inferiority complexes flocked to karate hoping to cope with their insecurities. Unfortunately, due to the way East Asian martial arts systems generally operate, an enormous number of these narcissistic losers didn't actually grow as people and overcome their feelings of inferiority. Instead they became the cult leaders of their own dojos where the dear leader can never be questioned and their own insecurities override any kind of self-directed curiosity towards improving the discipline. Not only did this fundamentally reshape the popular perception of karate among the public, but it created a culture of active karate practitioners who would seek out competition (to address their feelings of inferiority) at the expense of practical skill.

Where karate was once an eclectic discipline incorporating a variety of striking and grappling techniques focused at very short-range non-consensual violence, the popular conception of karate now, among both the public and actual Boomer karate practitioners, is that karate is this martial art where you kick and punch a lot and hop up and down in tournaments a yard from your opponents and absolutely never perform any throws or takedowns. There are Boomer karateka now who have such a deluded understanding of their own discipline that they even think karate has no throws at all, while they simultaneously teach the scripted sequences ("kata") that are full of throwing movements. Like many others, now that the internet has allowed open communication between martial artists beyond the confines of narcissistic cult leaders, I've come to the conclusion that competitive karate was a huge mistake that did enormous damage to the discipline as a practical self-defense system.

It's interesting that your knee-jerk reaction to this critique is to assume others are weaklings. You sound like the kind of rube that would be easily impressed by a narcissistic cult leader like Chuck Norris.

RIP Chuck, he was an Israel shill but it is what it is.

>>370234
It took a lot of rematches, but it seems the reaper finally won.

R.I.P., Chuck Norris.

>>370257
everything is better with anime tiddies

Chuck Norris was >was ;_; so badass he was a big guy even for Bane
RIP

I remember staying up late with my grandpa one night as a kid watching Lone Wolf McQuade.

F

RIP
What are the best Chuck Norris movies? I've only seen Walker Texas Ranger.

>>370272
Invasion: USA

>>370289
>literal ad for Israeli weapons
What a cocksucker.

>>370234
>2 days ago

Why nobody told me about that ?

>>370304
You have to visit tvchan more often, to stay abreast of developments, anon.

>>370311
I spend more time with Emoji on twitter now…

Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups; he pushes the Earth down.

When Chuck Norris jokes enters a room, the Wi-Fi signal gets stronger.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero and still get an answer.

Time waits for no man-except Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, but he's never cried.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch; he decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can delete the recycle bin.

Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.

Chuck Norris's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd-no one fools him.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris doesn't need GPS; destinations come to him.

Chuck Norris can make a snowman out of rain.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity-twice.

Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.

When Chuck Norris whispers, everyone hears it.

Chuck Norris can win a game of chess in one move.

Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn; the grass hides in fear.

Chuck Norris can charge his phone by glaring at it.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse; now we have giraffes.

Chuck Norris doesn't age; time just gives up.

Chuck Norris can parallel park a train.

Chuck Norris's shadow moves faster than light.

Chuck Norris can make onions cry.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a password; systems unlock for him.

Chuck Norris can whistle in five languages.

Chuck Norris's beard has its own gravitational pull.

Chuck Norris doesn't get cold; winter surrenders.

Chuck Norris can solve a Rubik's Cube with one glance.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a ladder; gravity lifts him.

Chuck Norris's heartbeat powers the electric grid.

Chuck Norris doesn't dream; reality adjusts overnight.

Chuck Norris doesn't need sunscreen; the sun protects itself.

Chuck Norris can outrun his own reflection.

Chuck Norris's handshake generates earthquakes.

Chuck Norris doesn't need keys; locks apologize.

Chuck Norris can taste colors.

Chuck Norris's footsteps are the real cause of thunder.

Chuck Norris doesn't sweat; he intimidates heat.

Chuck Norris doesn't blink; the world blinks for him.

Chuck Norris doesn't lose; losing quits.

Chuck Norris can high-five with one finger.

Chuck Norris doesn't dodge bullets; bullets dodge him.

Chuck Norris can clap with one hand-and it's deafening.

Chuck Norris doesn't play hide and seek; no one dares hide.

Chuck Norris can win an argument with silence.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a flashlight; darkness flees.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a parachute; the ground catches him.

Chuck Norris can arm-wrestle a tornado.

Chuck Norris doesn't run; the Earth spins faster.

Chuck Norris can punch through time zones.

Chuck Norris doesn't climb mountains; they bow to him.

Chuck Norris can juggle planets.

Chuck Norris doesn't knock; doors explode.

Chuck Norris can split atoms with his bare hands.

Chuck Norris can outwit fate.

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people-then it exploded.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunglasses; the sun hides.

Chuck Norris once won a staring contest with a mirror.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

Chuck Norris doesn't get frostbite; frost gets Chuckbite.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse-kicked a building; now it's a bridge.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris doesn't swim; water parts for him.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands; now they're just Islands.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear; bears sleep with a Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once won a race against time.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a haircut; hair retreats.

Chuck Norris once punched a cyclone into a breeze.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a lighter; fire begs to start.

Chuck Norris doesn't need an umbrella; rain dodges him.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a car; roads move for him.

Chuck Norris once kicked the ground; now we have canyons.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris can unscramble a scrambled egg.

Chuck Norris once ate a puzzle; he solved it internally.

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toe; furniture moves.

Chuck Norris once missed a call; the phone redialed.

Chuck Norris once dropped a pen; it wrote an apology.

Chuck Norris once forgot a joke; it told itself.

Chuck Norris once overslept; time waited.

Chuck Norris once misplaced his hat; it returned.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.

If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.

The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.

Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Chuck Norris.

On the 7th day, God rested…Chuck Norris took over.

Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to fight his heartburn.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling.

Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name into concrete.

Chuck Norris can speak Braille.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time.

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in three moves.

Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.

Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

Chuck Norris never retreats; He just attacks in the opposite direction.

When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters. Because not even glass is dumb enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

The only time Chuck Norris was ever wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.

There has never been a hurricane named Chuck because it would have destroyed everything.

In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris spices up his steaks with pepper spray.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It didn't work.

Chuck Norris can get in a bucket and lift it up with himself in it.

Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.

We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis.

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris undies.

Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.

Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.

In an average living room there are a thousand objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris's cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.

Chuck Norris can start a fire with an ice cube.

One time, Chuck Norris kicked a coal mine and turned it into a diamond mine.

When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball, the ball dodges him.

>>370386
Chuck Norris/10

Sneed

Yikes, this thread sure didn't age well.