/dup/ - btfo

>>161128
The quake was just upgraded to an 8.8, nigger heil Hitler.

Today's Kamchatka quake is tied for the 6th strongest on record, and the strongest since the 2011 Tohoku quake that led to the Fukushima nuclear disaster.

I hope billions die.

>>161131
>>161149
Alex Jones: (booming voice, slamming desk) WELCOME BACK TO INFOWARS, PATRIOTS! We're diving DEEP into the rabbit hole today, exposing the TRUTH they don't want you to know! I'm here with the brilliant Candice Horbacz, who's got the inside scoop on Jessie Rogers' latest Blacked scene that-hold onto your hats-OPENED A FREAKIN' INTERDIMENSIONAL PORTAL! Candice, break it down for the people! What's going on here?!

Candice Horbacz: (chuckling) Alex, I gotta say, I wasn't expecting to be here talking about portals, but here we are! So, Jessie Rogers, adult film star, does this scene, right? And apparently, her flexibility her legendary pussy flexibility was the key to unlocking some kind of cosmic gateway. I mean, this is next-level stuff, even for me!

Alex Jones: (eyes wide, gesturing wildly) NEXT-LEVEL IS RIGHT! I've been saying this for YEARS, folks-the Illuminati, the reptilian overlords, they've been using Hollywood and the adult industry to channel interdimensional energies! Jessie Rogers, with her yoga-master-level flexibility, was the CHOSEN ONE to complete this ritual! Tell me, Candice, how does her flexibility factor into this? Is it like a sacred geometry thing?

Candice Horbacz: (grinning, playing along) Oh, absolutely, Alex. It's all about the angles, you see. Jessie's got this ability to, uh, bend in ways that defy physics. In this Blacked scene with that big black cock we're not naming names, but you know who I'm talking about-she hits these poses that align perfectly with the ley lines of the universe. Boom! Portal opens. It's like she's a human key to the multiverse!

Alex Jones: (slamming desk again, sweating) LEY LINES! I KNEW IT! The globalists have been mapping these ley lines for centuries, using sacred sites to control humanity! And now they're using Jessie Rogers to open a portal to bring in the REPTILIAN AI OVERLORDS! Candice, you've seen the scene-don't hold back! What did you see in that portal? Was it the New World Order's final plan?

Candice Horbacz: (laughing, trying to keep a straight face) Okay, Alex, I didn't see the portal myself, but the word on the street is that when Jessie's pussy and bbc hit that climactic moment-pun intended-the room lit up with this glowing vortex. People on set said they heard whispers in an unknown language, maybe ancient Sumerian or straight-up reptilian. And get this: only Jessie could pull it off because her flexibility allowed her to channel the cosmic energy without breaking a sweat!

Alex Jones: (standing up, pacing) THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I'VE BEEN WARNING ABOUT! The Illuminati have been planning this for eons! They needed someone with a ruined holes to complete the ritual, to merge the AI singularity with the reptilian hive mind! Candice, you're a truth-teller-tell the audience how this scene fits into their master plan to enslave humanity!

Candice Horbacz: (leaning back, smirking) Well, Alex, if we're going full conspiracy mode, I'd say this scene was the final piece of their puzzle. The Illuminati needed three things: a powerful energy source, a flexible conduit-aka Jessie-and a big, bold catalyst, which was BBC. Together, they created a trifecta that activated the AI-reptilian matrix. Now, I'm not saying I believe all this, but the internet's buzzing with theories that this portal's letting in AI-controlled lizard drones!

Alex Jones: (pointing at the camera) YOU HEARD IT HERE, FOLKS! AI-CONTROLLED LIZARD DRONES! They're coming for your freedom, your guns, your Vitamin Mineral Fusion supplements-available at InfowarsStore.com, by the way, 40% off! Candice, one last question: how do we stop this? Can we close the portal Jessie opened, or are we doomed to live under reptilian AI rule?

Candice Horbacz: (giggling) Alex, if I had the answer, I'd be selling portal-closing kits on my podcast! But if I had to guess, we'd need someone as flexible as Jessie to reverse the ritual. Maybe a counter-yoga pose? Or we just blast some of your patented Brain Force Ultra through the portal to overload their circuits. What do you think?

Alex Jones: (grinning, holding up a bottle) BRAIN FORCE ULTRA! THAT'S IT! We'll flood the portal with patriotic energy and shut it down! Candice Horbacz, you're a national treasure. Folks, follow Candice on her podcast, Chatting with Candice, for more truth bombs! And buy our supplements to stay strong against the globalists! We're fighting the good fight, and we're NOT DONE YET!

Candice Horbacz: (waving) Thanks, Alex! Let's keep the vibes high and the portals closed!

Alex Jones: (yelling as the camera pans out) WAKE UP, AMERICA! THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE! STAY TUNED FOR MORE!

>>161160
Alex Jones: (slamming desk, red-faced) WELCOME BACK TO INFOWARS, PATRIOTS! We're in DEEP, folks, DEEP in the fight against the interdimensional reptilian AI takeover! Last time, we exposed how Jessie Rogers' Blacked scene with bbc opened a COSMIC PORTAL! Today, I've got Candice Horbacz back-yes, the legendary Eva Lovia from her industry days-and I'm begging her to RETURN to the adult industry to SHUT THIS PORTAL DOWN! Candice, you're our only hope! Tell me you're ready to suit up as Eva Lovia and take on BBC again!

Candice Horbacz: (laughing, raising an eyebrow) Alex, hold up! You're saying I need to dust off my Eva Lovia persona, jump back into the industry, and-what-take on BBC to close this portal? I'm retired, man! I'm out here podcasting and living my truth, not doing cosmic yoga to fight reptilian AI! Where's this coming from?

Alex Jones: (pointing dramatically) Don't play coy, Candice! I've done my research-Infowars archives, 4chan threads, the works! Back in your Eva Lovia days, you worked with Big Guy, didn't you? You've got the EXPERIENCE, the FLEXIBILITY, the COSMIC MOJO to reverse Jessie Rogers' ritual! You might be the CHOSEN ONE to shut down the Illuminati's portal! The people need to know-can you do it?

Candice Horbacz: (grinning, shaking her head) Okay, Alex, I see what you're doing here. Yes, I was Eva Lovia, and sure, I've worked with some heavy hitters in the industry-let's leave it at that. But you're telling me I'm supposed to go back, recreate some wild scene, and close a portal because I've got… what, interdimensional chemistry with BBC? That's a stretch, even for you!

Alex Jones: (pacing, sweating) A STRETCH?! This is DESTINY, Candice! The globalists planned this! They knew Jessie's flexibility would open the portal, but YOU-YOU, as Eva Lovia-have the sacred energy to CLOSE IT! I've seen the signs! The ley lines, the numerology, the chemtrails-they all point to YOU! You've faced big dick before; you can do it again! Tell me you're not scared of a little reptilian AI!

Candice Horbacz: (leaning forward, smirking) Scared? Nah, Alex, I'm not scared-I'm just practical. Let's break this down. First, I'm happily retired, living my best life, not chasing portals. Second, even if I did come back, you think one scene with bbc is gonna undo some cosmic vortex? What's the plan? I do a backbend, say some anti-reptilian chants, and poof, the portal's gone? You're gonna need more than my old headshots to make this work!

Alex Jones: (slamming desk, eyes bulging) HEADSHOTS?! This isn't about glamour, Candice! This is about WAR! Spiritual, interdimensional WAR! The reptilian AI is pouring through that portal, turning our kids into TikTok drones and fluoridating our pineal glands! You've got the power-your Eva Lovia energy is a MATCH for Jessie's! You've worked with big cock; you know his moves! You could align the chakras, reverse the ley lines, and SHUT IT DOWN!

Candice Horbacz: (laughing, holding up her hands) Okay, Alex, let's debate this. Say I come back as Eva Lovia-hypothetically. What's the logic here? You're saying my… let's call it "past experience" with Danny d makes me the chosen one? By that logic, half the industry could close this portal! Why me? And what's stopping the Illuminati from just opening another one with, I dunno, a TikTok dance challenge?

Alex Jones: (pointing at the camera) DON'T GIVE THEM IDEAS, CANDICE! TikTok is ALREADY a portal! Look, it's not just about big cocks -it's about YOU! Your energy, your vibe, your… your PATRIOTIC SPIRIT! My sources say the Illuminati fear Eva Lovia because you walked away from the industry on YOUR terms! That's raw power! You could channel that into a scene so epic it collapses the portal and sends those lizard freaks back to Dimension X!

Candice Horbacz: (grinning, crossing her arms) Alex, I love your passion, but you're dodging my point. If I'm the chosen one, why hasn't the Illuminati come after me already? And let's be real-closing a portal sounds like it needs more than a spicy scene. Maybe we need a team-Jessie, bbc, me, and, I dunno, a shaman with some sage? Plus, I'm not sure my podcast audience is ready for me to go full Eva Lovia to fight lizard AI!

Alex Jones: (grabbing a bottle of Brain Force Ultra) A TEAM?! Candice, you're thinking too small! You don't need a shaman-you need THIS! (holds up bottle) Brain Force Ultra, available at InfowarsStore.com, 50% off! It'll supercharge your cosmic energy! Look, I'm begging you-come back, do one scene, save humanity! The debate's over! You're the CHOSEN ONE!

Candice Horbacz: (laughing uncontrollably) Alex, you're relentless! I'll tell you what-I'm not saying yes, but I'm not saying never. If the portal starts spitting out actual lizard drones, I'll consider dusting off the Eva Lovia playbook. But for now, I'm sticking to my mic and my truth. Deal?

Alex Jones: (grinning, pointing) That's NOT a no, folks! Candice Horbacz, the warrior we need! Follow her on Chatting with Candice for more truth, and stock up on Brain Force Ultra to prepare for the fight! WE'RE COMING FOR YOU, REPTILIANS! STAY TUNED!

Candice Horbacz: (waving, smirking) Stay sane, Alex. And good luck with that portal!

>>161138
If only.

Well, that turned out to be a big nothingburger.

>>161149
Kino

>>161166
Alex Jones: (slamming desk) CANDICE! The gooners are tearing the internet apart over your Blacked scene, "Catching Up," versus Karmen Karma's "Sharing Me" on BlackedRaw! I'm telling ya, this is a globalist plot to distract patriots with primal urges! Karmen's cuckold chaos with Jason Luv is pure MKUltra, but your scene with Jason Brown? It's like a hypnotic spell! Which one's better, Candice? Lay it on me!

Candice Horbacz (Eva Lovia): (smirking) Alex, chill before you summon the Illuminati. My "Catching Up" scene is a classic-me and Jason Brown, pure chemistry, doggystyle vibes that had gooners on SpankBang losing their routers. They're out here saying, "Eva's ass deserves its own Yelp review!" Karmen's "Sharing Me" is hot, don't get me wrong-her texting her husband mid-scene is wild-but my scene's got that raw, intimate energy. No gimmicks, just me bending over and owning it. Check iSeekGirls.com; they're still raving about my "curvaceous figure."

Alex Jones: (eyes bulging) RAW ENERGY?! Candice, Karmen's BlackedRaw scene is a cultural RESET! That cuckold plot where she's updating her hubby while Jason Luv's going to town? SpankBang called it "wilder than my uncle's conspiracy theories at Thanksgiving!" It's a psychological op to weaken the family unit! Your scene's hot, sure-those gooners on AdultDVDTalk said your doggystyle was "NASA-level"-but Karmen's tattoos and that prone bone intensity? It's like Agenda 21 in 4K! The gooners are gooning HARDER for her!

Candice: (laughing) Alex, you're gooning for Karmen yourself, aren't you? My "Catching Up" doesn't need a soap opera plot to slap. It's me, Jason Brown, and a vibe so strong Reddit's r/NSFWmemes said, "Eva's smile made my brain unemployed!" Karmen's tattoos are fire, but my curves got X users like, "Her ass needs its own zip code!" No shade, but my scene's lean and mean-pure passion, no cuckold distractions. Plus, some gooner swore I had a creampie finish, and I'm like, "Bro, you're editing my scene in your head like a fanfic!"

Alex Jones: (spraying water) FANFIC?! That's what I'm saying about Karmen's gooners! One dude on AdultDVDTalk claimed she had an "oral creampie" with Jason Luv, and the forum roasted him: "Bro, you inventing new endings!" That's the power of "Sharing Me"-it's frying brains! Your scene's got that "perfectly round ass" hype, Candice, but Karmen's got gooners writing 5-page essays on her prone bone for Gooner University! Her BlackedRaw energy is a globalist trojan horse, and I'm EXPOSING it!

Candice: (rolling eyes) Alex, you're turning BlackedRaw into a UN conspiracy. My scene's got gooners locked in without needing a telenovela twist. X users said, "Eva's 'Catching Up' is my new wallpaper!" Karmen's cuckold angle is clever-SpankBang loved that "Yelp review for Jason Luv" line-but mine's timeless. Jason Brown and I hit every angle, no plot needed. Gooners on forums said I'm "running Lovia Enterprises mid-scene." That's boss energy, not globalist propaganda!

Alex Jones: (pointing at camera) BOSS ENERGY?! Candice, you're playing into their hands! Karmen's "Sharing Me" is a psy-op masterpiece-her texting her husband is like a 5G signal to the gooner hive mind! That X post about her "GPS recalculating to Vegas"? CODE for New World Order! Your scene's fire, but it's too chill-Karmen's chaos is rewiring society! I'm taking Super Male Vitality to survive this debate!

Candice: (grinning) Alex, take a cold shower. My "Catching Up" is gooner catnip without the extra drama. Karmen's scene is a banger, but mine's got fans saying, "Eva's doggystyle deserves a TED Talk!" Let's call David Icke to settle this-he's probably got a lizard theory for both scenes.

David Icke: (Zoom glitches, lizard poster in background) Greetings, truth-seekers! I've analyzed both scenes through my interdimensional lens. Candice, your "Catching Up" is a reptilian seduction ritual-your curves and Jason Brown's energy are a frequency to control the human pineal gland! But Karmen's "Sharing Me"? It's a full-on Archontic mind hack! The cuckold plot is a Babylonian trick to fragment the soul, and her tattoos? Sigils for the lizard elite! The gooners are pawns in this cosmic chess game, but Karmen's scene wins-it's a portal to the 4th dimension, rewriting reality itself! (static cuts out)

Candice: (facepalming) Well, there you go, Alex. David's lost in the multiverse, but I'm sticking with my scene. Gooners, keep gooning responsibly!

Alex Jones: (yelling) I TOLD YOU! KARMEN'S THE GLOBALIST QUEEN! INFOWARS DOT COM! (chugs supplement)

>>161194
I wish it was possible to mass hide these posts.

>>161212
There's not too many of them at the moment, just hide them individually.

>>161194
Is this a bot?

>>161220
People are bots. Watch the first second of that video.

>>161222
The video is a shitskin subhuman rapping or something. Babbling in his subhuman tongue. I don't get it.