/tv/ - Movies and Television

The last thing I watched was a rip of the German-language version of Krabat with English subtitles. It's a cutout animation adaptation of the Otfried Preussler book. It does a good job of creating a dark and downright hopeless atmosphere through most of the movie while also not being without a sense of humor. The darkness doesn't feel affected or overdone. I found the evil sorcerer who runs the mill to be a pretty unsettling character considering he's only a cartoon villain. I've only seen the German version, but I thought the voice actor in that version did a good job, especially with his creepy laugh. The animation was well executed too. I especially liked the creative little touches that diverged from the expected look of the film, like the live-action clouds of red smoke.

I would recommend it if you're in the mood for what's essentially a gloomy animated folktale.

>>364770
There's also a 2008 live-action movie of the same name that was filmed in Germany, but that's not something that seems very appealing to me.

>>364770
krabat shalom

>Night of the Demon (1957)
Considering this is supposedly a bona fide horror classic, I didn't think it was that great. I think the beginning of the movie gets it off to a bad start with the way it conflates ancient pagan religious practices with demon worship. The premise came across as hokey due to that and similar errors. At one points some academics are talking about the history of the demon concept across different cultures, and it seemed to me like they were trying to pass off European demon artwork that looks like it was done in the early modern period as coming from different times and places. More egregiously, runic writing is mentioned as starting much earlier in history than it actually did. The oldest runes that we know of were written early in the first millennium AD. There's also a scene where the protagonist visits Stonehenge which, for some reason, has Germanic runes carved into it. I get that Stonehenge was used well after the Neolithic population was replaced, but I don't think the Anglo-Saxons did anything like that after they showed up. It's things like these that make it hard for me to take it seriously. That wouldn't be such a big deal if this were some obscure C- or Z-grade movie, but this is a movie with a 100% approval rating from critics on Rotten Tomatoes. I'm not saying it's bad or anything, but I don't think it's as good as it's made out to be.

I also figured I should mention the demons effects. I thought they looked pretty neat, but I also think something more subtlety would have been more effective in a movie like this. That ominous smoke effect is definitely cool though.
>Night of the Demon (1980)
This one is a genuinely good bad movie in how guileless it comes across in its silliness. Where else could you see a sasquatch swinging a man in a sleeping bag around above his head before impaling him to death? Or him killing another man by ripping his tallywhacker off while he's taking a leak? Or a full-blown sasquatch rape scene? Regardless of how ridiculous all that is, it has a refreshing lack of self-awareness to it. You're probably not going to get that impression from a flick made by people who are intentionally trying to make a cheesy movie.

Also, it has nothing to do with the 1957 movie other than the title. There's apparently also a 1988 movie called Night of the Demons with Linnea Quigley in it.
>Return of the Living Dead Part II
Pretty forgettable. I actually like the more domestic tone in this one more than the heavily punk-oriented feeling the original movie went for, but it also takes away from its uniqueness. The zombie designs were also less interesting. The characters are kind of annoying too. James Karen is back but spends a good chunk of the movie whining and mugging for the camera. Suzanne Snyder is foxy but similarly spends much of her time crying and making a scene. A pre-Twin-Peaks Dana Ashbrook has a starring role, although I don't have anything to say about his character. Unlike the first movie, this one has a more optimistic ending. Whether that's a good or bad thing is a matter of taste, but I kind of prefer the nihilistic ending the first one had. It's definitely more memorable. Return of the Living Dead Part II isn't a movie I'd recommend unless you're fine with a pretty generic '80s horror comedy. I knew going in that it probably wasn't going to be up my alley.

>>365168
Interesting pick of flicks, not suprising christfags/post-christfags would conflate satanism with pre-european demons/gods since to them its one and the same.

>>365169
>Interesting pick of flicks
It was really just movies I had on my drive and felt appropriate to watch. I've never been a Halloweener, but I've gotten in the habit of watching horror movies around this time of year.
>not suprising christfags/post-christfags would conflate satanism with pre-european demons/gods since to them its one and the same.
Yeah, it's just too bad they didn't bother doing much actual research. There admittedly isn't much evidence of historical devil worship, but they could have at least come up with something more plausible than tossing together Satanism, paganism, and occultism into one big mulligan stew of taboo spirituality. I think it would have been more believable if they just made a group with more modern origins (like maybe the villainous magician being part of a society of occultists who became corrupted by evil), but then they wouldn't have been able to go the folk horror route as easily.

I was pleasantly surprised by how excellent this was. Spencer Tracy fits the role of Jekyll to a tee, and he really lets loose as Hyde. The Hyde makeup they used works as intended, making him look like a monstrous person, yet you can still barely see it's Tracy. The set designs and costumes really give you a feel for Victorian-era London. The cherry on top is that you get two of the most beautiful babes of the time, Lana Turner, and Ingrid Bergman, at their best. This is one you want on your Golden Age Halloween list.

>>365198
They could have easily gone with the hostile deity/idoltry trope where a demon manifest in some "new religion" and gains a physical guise to wreck havoc.
>>365203
>Jekyll and Hyde
Ahhh the AVGN's PTSD is calling me, that geimu was a pain in the ass, but much like the look of this movie the graphics were good. Did as intended.

>>365204
That game was released around the centennial of the book, so there was probably a lot of renewed interest at the time.

>>365221
You'd rather….superglue your asshole shut than play that geimu….

>The Blob (1988)
I'm not sure I'd say it's downright better than the original, but I really liked what they did with this remake. It feels much more ruthless and has no qualms about killing characters off, even ones that would normally be considered off-limits. The 1958 blob was already an indiscriminate killer that would mindlessly target anything in its path, but this gory take feels less restrained. The new conspiracy angle also was a nice twist on the story, even if it was a lot like The Crazies (a movie it seems like I'm constantly bringing up). I thought the ending was creative too.

On the negative side, this has less of the quaint charm of the original movie. And while I appreciate the idea of Kevin Dillon's character being an outsider who doesn't just go along with authority, I felt like he was too much of a cutout rebel in regard to his presentation. They laid it on really thick with the combination of the mulletish hairstyle, the leather jacket, the motorcycle riding, and saying hell no to rules, man. I would have preferred something toned down a bit, like maybe a character between what they went with and Steve McQueen's character from the original movie. I guess they probably wanted to really distinguish him from the Varsity Keith Woods character.

Overall I thought it was a pretty good effort and absolutely worth a try if you liked the 1958 version at all and want to see a different and more edgy adaptation of the story.
>The Fly (1986)
Another good remake of a 1958 sci-fi horror movie, maybe the best horror remake I've seen. They really upped the ante with this version. Seeing Seth Brundle's body fall apart in such grotesque detail makes the whole situation feel much more harrowing than the original movie's (especially considering the way the little kid in the 1958 one seemed so nonchalant about his father dying). I found it almost off-putting at times due to how effective the makeup and effects are. It reminded me of the agonizing death of Hisashi Ouchi and the way his skin peeled off due to extreme radiation burns. I definitely recommend this movie and am curious about checking out David Cronenberg's other older movies considering that I really liked Scanners and Videodrome.
>The Day of the Triffids
I think it started off compelling enough. I liked the idea of mass blindness coinciding with the plant invasion making things truly apocalyptic. Once the triffids start appearing regularly, I think the movie starts to go downhill though. It's not just that they look pretty goofy, but I feel like the atmosphere of the movie worked better earlier on. I also didn't like the B plot with the couple in the lighthouse. Plus having two different eureka moments in regard to how characters learn to deal with the triffids doesn't work well (and both solutions are honestly kind of lame). If you like these kinds of movies and don't have your standards too high, then you might enjoy it. I think it's likable but certainly not anything great in terms of execution.

Unfortunately, all publicly available versions look like garbage as far as I can tell. The one I saw looked like it was ripped from a Laserdisc or something. There apparently was a restorationist who was fixing up the film and had obtained rights to to it in most places, but he died last year.

There's also a BBC miniseries from the early '80s which is more well regarded, and I might end up giving that a shot eventually.

>>365222
what a shitload of fuck

>>365321
What were they THINKING?

>Don't Torture a Duckling
A Lucio Fulci murder mystery set in a little Italian village predating his more well-known harrer films. Didn't hold my attention much, but maybe I just wasn't in the right mood. There was one bloody death scene that really stood out to me as being well done, and I liked the ending. There's also a gory scene with a dummy that seems like a forerunner of his splatter flicks. Other than those, it doesn't have much in common with the work he's most famous for.
>Shock Waves
As far as I'm aware, this is the original Nazi zombie movie. It may not have much in the way of plot, but I liked it nonetheless. The atmosphere does a lot of the heavy lifting, but the presence of a couple veteran actors in the form of John Carradine and Peter Cushing also definitely help the movie out. The lead character is played by Brooke Adams, who was in the 1978 Invasion of the Body Snatchers remake not long after Shock Waves.

I learned afterwards that it had the same director as Return of the Living Dead Part II. They couldn't feel much further apart outside of the zombie theme. I think they serve as a pretty good contrast between the type of '70s horror movies that draw me in like a moth and the type of '80s ones I don't like as much. Shock Waves might not have the blood and guts or of a lot of horror movies from the late '70s (nor does it really need them) and has next to no sexual content, but it still has the seedy, low-budget feeling that I crave. It has that grainy The-Texas-Chain-Saw-Massacre-style snuff film look down pat. The score also has got that classic kind of moody '70s analog synth emphasis that low-budget horror flicks often went for, which ticks off another box for me. It's also fits squarely in the horror genre, with no humor at all as far as I can remember. Return of the Living Dead Part II, on the other hand feels too glossy for my tastes, for lack of a better word. It lacks the grody look of Shock Waves, has a pretty generic musical score from what I recall (and licensed songs that do nothing to conjure up or even maintain a creepy atmosphere), and is a horror comedy that focuses more on action than mood. I don't like horror comedies, even if I like to torture myself by watching them just to check them off a mental list.

My biggest problem with Shock Waves was the characters making idiotic decisions, but it's not like that's something uncommon in these movies. I still enjoyed it and can definitely see myself watching it again in the future.
>The Straight Story
A slow, reflective easygoing road film taking place in Iowa and Wisconsin. If you want something with a quick pace, you're looking in the wrong place. The movie moves at about as fast as Alvin Straight's lawnmower journey itself. The focus is on the interactions Alvin Straight has with the people he meets along his trip and the beauty of the rural scenery. Richard Farnsworth was perfectly cast for his role. He had a terminal case of cancer when he starred in The Straight Story and ended up killing himself not long after. Considering how great he was in it and all the critical acclaim his performance received, it's hard to imagine a better swan song.

This getting nominated for the WFC gave me the motivation to actually sit and watch it. I saw a chunk of it when I was a kid, tried to watch it as an adult but was only half paying attention, and now I've finally given it my full attention. Overall I thought it was pretty good but felt like it went on a bit too long. Maybe it's just my attention span and my lack of ability to slow down and focus on the present rather than a problem with the film itself.

I had heard of the film before, but I had no idea they made a film about aliens cucking humans. It's a pretty edgy plot for its time. This was my first George Sanders film, not counting the Jungle Book, and he was great, but the real shining star was Martin Stephens' performance as the leader of the pack of psychic hybrid children. I know nothing about the sequel and the remake, but looking forward to the surprise.

>>365324
What an assburger with a side of fries!

>>365487
There's moral ambiguity about whether they're good or bad, and like I said I haven't seen the sequel, it may shed more light on what they are.

>>365476
I always wonder if this story was a ripoff of Childhood's End.

>>365476
I've always liked Village of the Damned. I wonder if it might be kind of overshadowed because it came out the same year as Psycho.
>>365488
I haven't gotten around to seeing Children of the Damned yet either, but from what I just read it makes the children out to be more good than bad. Then again, I prefer to treat movies more as self-contained stories and prefer ambiguity and room for personal interpretation over strictly delineated canon.

>>365324
nerd voice saying this replays in my head multiple times a month

>Without Warning
The blood-sucking alien pancakes were creative, but all the stuff that doesn't involve danger is pretty boring to watch. There was a bit of what seemed like anti-hunter propaganda toward the beginning of this one I didn't care for. Maybe that was subverted by the role of Jack Palance's character. I thought the unhinged Sarge character played by Martin Landau was pretty cheesy, but at the same time I thought it was an interesting twist to have the paranoid guy in a movie like this actually turn out to be crazy. I would have expected him to be someone who sees what's really going.

This is considered to be a predecessor to Predator and even features the same actor playing the alien as that. That might interest some people enough to watch Without Warning, but I didn't think it was anything very thrilling.
>Zombi 3
As bad as it is, there's some intriguing retardation on display here. It's just too bad Lucio Fulci couldn't finish the job and Bruno Mattei and Claudio Fragasso were left to complete the rest. Maybe it wouldn't have been as much of a mess if Fulci had stayed on. Still, I like some of the scenes that the latter two apparently shot, like the whole sequence with the virus being stolen from the facility. The movie itself feels like a hodgepodge of idea taken from other zombie movies (as well as The Crazies). That includes the sharing the entire basic premise with Bruno "Mike" Mattei's own Hell of the Living Dead. Zombi 3 is way more watchable than that one though. There's the flying head bit, but my favorite scene is probably the one with the machete-wielding maniac who behaves like he came straight out of Nightmare City.

It's not a worthy follow-up to Zombi 2, but it's worth considering if you're in the mood for a fun bad movie with a lot of blood and guts.
>Tombs of the Blind Dead
The mummified Templars were an original idea (even if the backstory provided isn't very plausible), but most of the scenes without them in it are pretty boring. As good as their makeup and costumes are, I also think their hands aren't convincing at all. Still, they looked cool riding around on horseback. The slow-motion gave them kind of an otherworldly effect. They made me think of prototypical movie Nazgul. I liked the part about them being blind too, but I don't remember that coming up until the end of the movie. I wasn't expecting it to end the way it does either. Unfortunately, I feel like the movie as a whole is lacking in atmosphere. A significant amount of the runtime seems to be taken up by the characters trying to solve a mystery that we already basically know the answer to. That wouldn't have to be a bad thing, but it's done in such a boring way. The viewer isn't given the feeling that he's unraveling a mystery. Yeah, you learn that the mummified knights are undead Knights Templar, but it's not really that interesting. Compare it to Psycho. In that movie, the viewer also watches the murder of a woman whose death leads to an investigation by other characters. But Psycho also has the thing with the mother of Norman Bates that throws up uncertainty as to the identity of the killer. And the whole film is steeped with a heavy aura of foreboding and gloom right from the beginning. Psycho's soundtrack played a huge part of that, whereas this doesn't have anything that can compete with Bernard Herrmann's eerie score. As far as Tombs of the Blind Dead's music goes, I remember a cheesy organ piece during the lesbian make-out scene (which is admittedly kind of catchy, but also doesn't fit the mood of a horror movie). There's some tense music infused with Gregorian chanting to go along with the Templar mummies, which is effective enough. Unfortunately, one piece isn't enough to sustain an ominous mood. There's also a fanfare I remember that would have worked just as well in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

I'm much more into fleshy zombies than skeletal knights, but I think the idea had much more potential than they were able to pull off with Tombs of the Blind Dead.
>>365517
Same here.

>Misery
I can't say I'm big on Stephen King's work, but this is among the best film adaptations of his stories that I've seen. I knew what the basic premise was before I watched it, but I thought it did a great job of progressively revealing information about Annie Wilkes until you get a complete picture on just how much of a sicko she really is. James Caan put in a good performance and all, but Kathy Bates really steals the show. I think there were enough twists and turns in the plot to keep it from being too predictable. I don't know if it's the kind of movie that you could come back to repeatedly and still enjoy, but I say it's definitely at least worth seeing once if you're into these kinds of movies.
>Deathdream/Dead of Night
More well crafted than I thought it would be. I was expecting more of a shameless exploitation film, but this was actually pretty well done. The actors who played Andy's bickering parents especially stand out. They were apparently cast based on an appearance they made together in a John Cassavetes movie in a similar role, but Bob Clark didn't realize when he was making Deathdream that they genuinely detested each other. The concept behind the movie reminded me a bit of Martin in that it's a '70s retelling of the old vampire stories, except this was shot three years before George Romero made Martin. There is a connection between the two productions in that Tom Savini was involved with both.

Anyway, I liked Deathdream enough that I plan on seeing it again at some point.
>Children of the Damned
If you're looking forward to a proper follow-up film to Village of the Damned with this one, then you'll probably be disappointed. Instead of a sci-fi horror movie set in a rural village, the viewer is presented with a preachy thriller supported by sci-fi and horror elements that's only tenuously connected with the original movie. The otherworldly menace of the kids from Village of the Damned is replaced by a multiethnic group of Christlike children who are oppressed because they're different, man. I don't even think it displays their innocuous nature all that convincingly. Considering that the main English kid mind controlled his verbally abusive mother to make her walk into traffic and the pajeet kid's mother is afraid of her son and implied to have also been mind controlled, it doesn't seem like a far-fetched idea to treat them as a threat instead of innocent saviors of humanity. I understand the desire to take things in a different direction rather than retreading old ground, but Children of the Damned is a movie that loves the smell of its own farts.

>>365553
Neither Zombi 2 or 3 are related to 1 or to one another.
They're completely standalone movies by Fulci.

Calling them Zombi was just an American marketing trick, same as in Italy calling Zombi, Zombi 2, like it was the sequel to Dawn of the Dead, the Italian copyright system at the time literally allowed anyone to market their movie as a sequel to somebody elses.

>>365621
I also forgot to mention that there's a scene in Children of the Damned where a geneticist differentiates mutation from evolution, which is pretty dumb unless I'm misinterpreting the dialogue.
>>365632
>Neither Zombi 2 or 3 are related to 1 or to one another.
Definitely true, but the title and involvement of Fulci make it easy for people to think they're going to be getting something similar to Zombi 2. Zombi 3 is a pretty different movie.

I also forgot to mention the negro DJ, who is definitely reminiscent of Super Soul from Vanishing Point. There's a good chance that was intentional, since lead actor Deran Zerafian is the son of Vanishing Point director Richard Serafian.

>Cannibal Apocalypse
The trashy tone of Cannibal Apocalypse is closer to what I was expecting out of Deathdream. Other than the basic idea of guys coming back from 'Nam and feeding on humans, they don't have much in common though. It's not much of an apocalypse either. Cannibal Apocalypse ends up being about a few cannibalistic veterans running around a city with the cops on their tail, a bit like The A-Team if they fed on human flesh and Hannibal had bite sex with the teenage neighbor girl next door. Hell, John Saxon even played a villain on The A-Team once. In Cannibal Apocalypse, he got tricked into playing the lead. As much as I like the whole section with Bukowski going berserk, the rest of the movie isn't that exciting. The whole sewer section is kind of tedious to watch other than the flamethrower bit and the cool gore effect involving a torso getting a big hole blown right through it. I wasn't that keen on some of the music either. I don't mind some funkiness here and there, but I think the music used lent too much of an action movie feel. It might not be a great bad movie, but I liked it well enough. Maybe it helps that I have a soft spot for John Saxon.
>Cat People
Mostly pretty uneventful and light on the horror. While there are some good bits (like the swimming pool scene), the werecat idea is used more as a basis for a love triangle. It takes a pretty psychological approach to the subject matter through a large chunk of the runtime, with shrink visits and everything. I imagine that its subtlety is why it's such an appreciated movie, but I think it's too subtle for its own good.

I also didn't like the way the leading male character just rushes into marriage with a woman he's just met and also puts up with her not kissing him. What a dork.
>I Walked with a Zombie
A pretty similar case to Cat People in the sense of being heavy on the romantic drama and having understated horror elements (the most horrific image I can recall off the top of my head is a large, bug-eyed negro), and Tom Conway's in it again. It's shot well enough, and I liked the ranting from Paul Holland in his first scene that reminds me of the classic Werner Herzog jungle monologue from Burden of Dreams. The sensationalistic title is pretty alluring, but in the end I'd rather just watch White Zombie.
>Gremlins II
I liked the choice to tone down the horror and do a sequel that rips on sequels, pop culture, and commercialism as a whole (there's a prominent dup/Ted Turner stand-in involved). There's some clever breaking of the fourth wall. The various guest appearances from people like Hulk Hogan (although not in the VHS release) and Leonard Maltin add a lot to it. I like having Christopher Lee and Gedde Watanabe on the cast too. Gremlins II isn't afraid to poke fun at the original movie, like that silly story about Kate's father dying coming down the chimney on Christmas Eve. The sequel discards original's Christmas theme entirely. While the first movie had some nice yuletide ambiance, I think going more general was the right decision. I'm admittedly not that big on either movie, but I think I would take Gremlins II over the first one.
>Witchfinder General
The English Civil War setting is a nice change of pace, even if it's not exactly a historically accurate depiction. I'm not exactly knowledgeable about the period, but it felt like it was at least attempting to paint a portrait of the conflict with a fine brush. It would be really easy for someone partial to one side or the other to either completely demonize Cromwell's faction or to to portray them as flawless heroes. Both the hero and villain are Parliamentarians, while the female love interest and her uncle, a priest, are part of a Catholic family. Vincent Price's character and his sidekick Stearne are completely detestable, which combined with the revenge-oriented plot makes it a satisfying watch. I'm not really a Vincent Price fan, but Witchfinder General might be my favorite of his movies I've seen.

I usually hate it when people refer to movies as "dated" or "not aging well" but in this case it's true. It feels like the only reason this movie was made was to make the public take the idea of space travel seriously. There's a scene towards the beginning where a room full of people are shown a Woody Woodpecker cartoon to help them understand how launching a rocket to the moon would work, and the rest of the film feels like an expanded version of that. There's barely any story and only one character-the comic relief and stand in for the audience when something needs to be explained-has any personality.
It's not completely without merit. The special effects are great for 1950. But they're not enough to carry the film, especially since you don't even see them until about a third of the way in.
It was apparently a milestone for sci-fi movies, so maybe check it out if you're really fascinated by the history of film. Aside from that, there's no reason to watch Destination Moon today.

>>365976
>dumb shit that no one would bat an eye at has massive consequences later on
there must be a word for this due to how common it is.

>Turkey Shoot
Turkey Shoot is basically a gory version of The Most Dangerous Game set in an early-'80s retrofuturistic dystopia. And with Olivia Hussey too. My biggest gripe is that I only started to really enjoy it about halfway through when the hunt starts. It feels like it drags compared to the 1932 version of The Most Dangerous Game, which is about half an hour shorter and feels much better paced. I think what Turkey Shoot was going for was to give better context for the camp and the kind of oppressive circumstances the characters are forced to. I haven't seen Lifeforce yet and don't remember his X-Files appearance, but I also have problems taking Steve Railsback seriously in Turkey Shoot. There's just something about the way he talks that sounds comical to me. Once things start ramping up, Turkey Shoot does become an enjoyable movie though. The setting and aesthetics and larger cast of both hunters and prey characters help it stand out from the original short story of The Most Dangerous Game and its 1932 adaptation.

P.S. Dodge is a faggot.
>Strike Commando
The action music was the standout feature for me. It sounds like exactly what I imagine of when I think of a soundtrack for a low-budget '80s action movie. Besides that, I think I'd prefer to give Deadly Prey another view if I had to choose a First Blood Part II knockoff to watch. The shots of gooks effortlessly being mowed down is straight out of the Rambo parody scene in UHF, but I remember Deadly Prey doing bad worse than Strike Commando. I think more variety would have helped Strike Commando. He does blow up a boat, but I would have liked to have seen Reb Brown blow a tank or helicopter to smithereens. I get that there were budgetary limitations, but it would have been much more satisfying. The movie already feels like a silly live-action version of an old run-and-gun game like Ikari Warriors, Commando, or Guerrilla War, but it would been better if it had been able to go all the way.
>Eliminators
I don't think Eliminators is up to the level of the better Empire movies. There's some really on-the-nose feminist propaganda in one scene that makes me think less of it, and I wish it was less centered around the boat trip. On the other hand, the movie strikes a good balance of being lighthearted without feeling too self-conscious. It has a similar kind of fun, charming tone to Trancers or Zone Troopers, which shouldn't be too surprising. I like the way the movie tries to combine elements of several different genres without feeling like it's trying to be a spoof. You've got a proto-Robocop "Mandroid" teaming up with a genius scientist womyn and her R2-D2 knockoff, and then there's a self-interested riverboat captain and a vaguely Asian (Chinese actor, Japanese name) martial arts man. On top of that there's another plot element that I don't want to spoil. The Mandroid getup looks pretty good for a low-budget movie like this. He even has a "mobile unit" he can use by removing his legs and hooking up to tank treads. I'm not really sure what the advantage is, but it's kind of a neat effect. It's also nice to see Denise Crosby with a decent hairstyle. I was never attracted to Tasha Yar at all solely because of her haircut. While those things add to the experience for me, I'd rather just watch those other two movies I mentioned.
>Gymkata
The gymnastics-based fight scenes are fun to watch and everything, but I didn't find the rest of the movie all that entertaining until the start of the Game. Making the main character such a rice boiler also didn't sit well with me. With that said, I also ended up watching the movie over two nights and was extremely tired the second night and so couldn't really get into the flow of the movie. I felt like I'd been drugged during the sequence with the insane townsfolk. Gymkata is no Miami Connection, but I imagine you could do a lot worse if you're looking for an enjoyably bad '80s martial arts movie.

I also thought I'd mention that the Chinese Jap from Eliminators also appears in Gymkata, which is a weird coincidence considering it was the first movie I watched after Eliminators and had no clue that actor would be in it.
>Crawlspace
I didn't find it to have much going for it other than the presence of Klaus Kinski. Considering they had him aboard, the movie was a missed opportunity. They should have come up with better ideas for the villain. The more soft-spoken approach he takes to this movie compared to the roles he's more famous for makes the character seem especially sleazy and repulsive though. The story behind the making of the movie is more interesting than the movie itself.

>Frankenhooker
I was more entertained by this one than I anticipated. I don't even know why, especially since I don't like horror comedies most of the time. The news report scene definitely made me chuckle. If you can handle a copious amount of nudity and dismembered body parts and enjoy horror comedies, maybe you'd find it worth a watch too.
>Wake in Fright
Pretty bleak viewing. Even outside of the wanton kangaroo killing it's pretty unpleasant. It almost reminds me of the repulsiveness of a Harmony Korine movie, like Gummo or Julien Donkey Boy, but it's much more structured than those, less broad in scope, and definitely less experimental. I think it's done well enough, and it really gets across the feeling of sinking into a morass of self-degradation, but it's also the kind of movie that'll make you feel like you need a shower afterward.
>Streets of Fire
While I found the '50s-'80s hybrid setting intriguing and it has some panache with its imagery heavy on rain-soaked streets and neon reflections, stylized scene transitions, and music-video-like editing at times, I thought it fell pretty short otherwise. It's short on story and drama, for one thing, and the characters feel flat. Tom Cody feels too much like a Gary Stu to me in terms of his toughness and capability. I would have liked to see him get in a situation where it seems like he's bitten off more than he could chew. I get that he's supposed to be like a comic-book hero, but I would have liked him to be written to be a little bit more of a particularly strong everyman. Indiana Jones isn't a particularly deep movie protagonist, but one of the reasons he works is that the character works, as shallow as he is, is that he gets himself into suspenseful situations where he's genuinely threatened. It's been days since I watched Streets of Fire now, but I don't remember much tension in Streets of Fire's action scenes. The other characters didn't do anything for me either. While I'm not inherently against butch female characters, I found McCoy annoying for similar reasons. She's too much of an overly capable tuff grrl, and I got irritated whenever she'd talk about how much of a soldier she is. The dweeby showbiz Jew man played by Rick Moranis is another annoying character. The guy never stops complaining. And what's with Ellen Aim's star status in the movie? She sure didn't impress me very much, yet everyone seems to be awestruck by her talent. Speaking of her, some of the music also leans more heavily into an '80s direction than feels appropriate to me in a movie like this that is trying to create a '50s or early-'60s-inspired world.

It apparently influenced the creation of Final Fight, which I've never actually played, but the whole aesthetic makes me think more of River City Ransom. The main tune from River City Ransom is also better than any piece of music I remember hearing in Streets of Fire.
>Blind Fury
This would be a pretty standard movie if it didn't start Rutger Hauer as a blind swordsman. I always just thought of him as Roy Batty and never really noticed how perfect his American accent was for a Dutch guy. I'm kind of curious about seeing him in other roles now. I recommend Blind Fury if you want to watch an '80s action movie that isn't one of the top-shelf ones everybody's seen.

>>366183
>She's too much of an overly capable tuff grrl, and I got irritated whenever she'd talk about how much of a soldier she is.
True, but IIRC they weren't going for a girl power angle with that character. It was originally supposed to be a man but the actress convinced them to cast her.

>>366201
Yeah, it looks like you're right. I still would have preferred her and Tom Cody to be a bit more flawed. It feels kind of jarring to see a tomboyish but otherwise pretty normal woman beating up fully grown men without a hitch.

Just saw this. I thought it started off promising enough with the protagonist finding himself alone in the world and gradually losing touch with sanity. The way he chases luxury after his world's thrown upside down reminded me a bit of the mall scenes in Dawn of the Dead. Instead of zombies or other people, it's more about the character's total isolation.

It did feel like a relief as soon as another character shows up, but once that happened the movie didn't really go anywhere. There's also a feminist remark about men making all the decisions in the pre-apocalyptic world. And as soon as the Maori is introduced, the movie goes right down the crapper. The lead gets cucked by him. The Maori brings up information that paints him in a bad light, but it turns out it was just a misunderstanding and that he's really a great guy at heart. I knew beforehand that The Quiet Earth was considered a remake of an old Harry Belafonte movie that pushed race poz, but I wasn't aware that it would follow it that closely.

Avoid this bowel movement. You'd be better served by watching something like "Time Enough at Last" and not wasting your time with junk like The Quiet Earth.

>Legend
The beginning of the movie seemed pretty promising to me. There were some nice shots that reminded me of a 19th-century painting. There was some golden lighting at times that reminded me of a Maxfield Parrish piece.

I think the movie took a step down after that with the darker visual turn it took. I can admit there are still some nice shots and all, like the fire-lit ones in the Lord of Darkness's lair, but they didn't really have my interest by that point. There's something about the film that feels a bit confusing and disorienting to me, like I don't have that clear of a sense of where the characters go relative to where they'd previously been. The makeup is well done from a technical standpoint, but I would have preferred less grotesque character designs. The Lord of Darkness looks like someone took a gigachad, painted his face red, and put ridiculously large horns on the top of his head. The dwarfs also have more over-the-top features than I'd like. The Honeythorn Gump character has more minimal makeup but comes across as less distracting, I think. I'll give them credit for casting the right actor for the part too. He looks perfect for the role.

Outside of some of the visual aspects, I don't think the movie's anything to write home about. I watched the theatrical version with the Tangerine Dream music, and unlike Risky Business I wasn't a fan of what they did with Legend. It lacks magic, and I also remember hearing that distracting Emulator II shakuhachi preset repeatedly. I think their style back in the Phaedra days sounds more timeless and would have worked better in a fantasy movie.

Maybe I missed something by not watching the director's cut, but I don't think Legend is a movie I'd encourage people to watch.
>Barbarella
A campy, eroticized science fiction movie featuring Jane Fonda before her Hanoi Jane period. The tone makes me think of the 1980 Flash Gordon adaptation, and both were Dino De Laurentiis productions. The angel Pygar even reminds me a bit of one of the Hawkmen.

It's more of an odd curiosity piece than anything, but it's imaginative and the production design is pretty interesting.
>Zardoz
I wasn't sure what to expect out of Zardoz. I'd seen the famous shot of Sean Connery in that horrible red bikini getup and the stupid ponytail, but outside of that I wasn't sure what I'd be watching. Would it have a lighthearted tone like Barbarella? Would it be a pulpy adventure story set in the future? In reality it mostly seems to be aiming for an intellectual approach. That coupled with the use of the second movement from Beethoven's Symphony No. 7 makes it come across as pretty pretentious. It feels to me almost like it's trying to emulate something like A Clockwork Orange.

I honestly didn't catch that much of the plot. It involves religion being used to control a bunch of savages and a society of eternal overlord beings who long for death and want Sean Connery's barbaric outsider character to set them free. I'd have to watch it again to catch more of the actual storyline.

But did I actually like it? I'm not sure what to think. The costumes look pretty dumb. The image of the giant stone Zardoz head flying around the countryside distributing weapons and ammo is actually pretty cool, as silly as it traveling the land to tell people about how bad their penises are is. The story seems like it might be interesting enough to warrant another viewing. While it seems pretty unique, I can't say I thought the movie was cinematic gold or even all that entertaining.
>The Dark Crystal
The puppetry is fantastic, and I felt the movie to be very immersive in its worldbuilding. I definitely plan on watching it again.
>Labyrinth
While I thought it was ultimately pretty enjoyable for what it is, I found it to be inferior to The Dark Crystal and also the kinds of stories it was inspired by. I'd take Oz over Jareth's kingdom any day. Speaking of Oz, the voice actress who did the voice of Billina in Return to Oz also appears in Labyrinth as the voice of the junk lady. Unlike Return to Oz, which has a fantastic score, Labyrinth really tries to put its music front and center. Unfortunately, I think it fails at it. I've never been big on most of David Bowie's music in the first place (Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence really dodged a bullet by having the much more talent Ryuichi Sakamoto take over that area), but the musical numbers feel unwarranted. They're pretty unremarkable, and the score from Trevor Jones isn't any better. While Return to Oz has a poignant, melancholic score infused with some 1890s influences that ultimately fits the movie like a glove, Labyrinth's score is just a run-of-the-mill '80s electronic background music that does little to evoke a wondrous fantasy world. The aesthetic also feels less distinctive compared to The Dark Crystal.

I'd still recommend Labyrinth, but I don't think it's the best of these '80s fantasy movies or anything.

>>366594
That's kinda what I thought about Zardoz too.There's an idea buried in there somewhere that's kinda cool and meaningful but I don't get the impression the filmmakers were particularly intelligent enough to do anything with it. Like if a filmmakers that wasn't a doped out hippie would've made something like it it may have been onto something but as-is it's not that interesting nor entertaining of a movie.

>>366598
You must not have been paying attention to the movie to miss that Zardoz is actually taking aim at hippie utopianism. The eternals and their whole society are presented as grotesque and hellish in their own way, leading multiple character to conclude that they must be destroyed.

>>366594
>>366598
>>366600
the gun is good
the penis is evil

>>366600
No, I get that that's the point of the movie. I'm just saying the movie wasn't very good. A better filmmaker than whoever the fuck made it could've taken that concept and probably made something more entertaining to watch and probably made it far less, like, embarassing. It's basically only remembered anymore for a meme image.

this thread comes up in some search engines as the description for the site

>>366642
Was always a Neet Wizard fan tbh, but I still enjoy Patty the Popper. Always thought he was Gahoole's Melvin analogue.

>>366623
>It's basically only remembered anymore for a meme image.
I think it's a genuinely great piece of '70s dystopian science fiction on par with Soylent Green and Andromeda Strain.

I watched "Master and Commander" the other night and enjoyed it immensely. 9/10, possibly a 10

>>366658
I appreciate brief reviews like this once in a while, it's a reprieve from the AI essays.

>>366598
>There's an idea buried in there somewhere that's kinda cool and meaningful
That's why I feel like I can't completely write it off. I have this feeling like there's something I missed the first time around, and that bothers me.
>but I don't get the impression the filmmakers were particularly intelligent enough to do anything with it.
Maybe John Boorman was in over his head with Zardoz, but I'll give him credit for Excalibur.
>>366644
I don't know that I'd agree with that, but I get what you mean. I feel like I'd possibly get more out of it if I watched it a second time. It's definitely not irredeemable trash or anything.

The Andromeda Strain is one on my backlog I still haven't watched.
>>366659
If I'm who you're thinking of, I don't use AI at all.

>>366659
I thought the movie went hard, it was badass the stuff they did in it, and it filled me with a wellspring of energy and racial pride to witness. Britannia rules the seas, forevermore! I'm glad you appreciate my review

what the fuck

>>366755
Rent-free.

>posts nigger porn again
now THAT'S seething