/top/ - Board and Card games

Nobody here is going to care, but for some reason I can't stop going back to see how Critical Role's new campaign is going. Bros. Somebody help me stop doing this to myself. The third campaign is so bad. The party had this world-ending event that, for all the characters knew, worked, and which pretty much obviously did work to unleash a tarasque-esque entity that's going to devour the gods. And then Matt split the party which wouldn't have been so bad for maybe a few episodes except this shit lasted for a whole seven for just ONE half of the party to fuck around with goats and a backstory plot shoehorned in with no relevance or urgency towards anything. Bad enough that had that god damn annoying nigger join in, now the latest episode is going spawn another 7+/- episodes of dicking around with more bullshit that doesn't count towards anything with more guest stars I couldn't give a shit about. Almost immediately they shoved in some whore who decided the character to play would be an obnoxious, edgy goth modern-day high-schooler that is entirely outside the scale of a fantasy setting. Returning to "bad enough", it was bad enough with Taliesin's cringe-inducing edgy character, now there's a second one that's even worse. And then all of this gave me flashbacks to the Asian whore they had in months ago. Who, on the one hand was an awful presence, and on the other gave the impression of being an important aspect of Fearne's parents' connection to dark fey who were suppose to have intense interest in this whole event but who has, along with her superiors, never shown up again. A whole plot device left to die. Which also reminds me of how the new party bizarrely decided to be down with Fearne's hag grandmother who brainwashed her and butchers people to keep their insides as trophies, as well as Laudna's infatuation with a child-torturing psychopath that the rest of the party ENCOURAGES her to fuck.
>oh man this vampire woman who has an invested interest in your survival so you can bring her back to life is totally evil we need to stop her and make you more vulnerable
<but hey, this dude who tortures children and conducts biological experiments to create wmd's is totally okay
I cannot understand how much the inconsistencies keep piling on and there being no in-world consequences when there should be, because Matt's too busy shoving in 'member berries. God damn, yo.

I keep watching other people play DnD. I don't care how gay 5e is, I want to play it so bad. God dammit.

Ofc the ugly ogre without a single thought of his own in his head decided to have Black Templars instead of Orks

Van Diesel playing rpgs and Samoa Joe playing 40k

Chess is a tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of street shitting monkeys hoping to cash in on the long dead Final Fantasy Tactics hype.
Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map. As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects.
Yawn.

Chess has shitty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do shit. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now there's no point in using any other unit. The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, what's up with the Knight? It has the most bizarre combat abilities of all the units. They're retardedly hard to use cause they jump around like retards to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life. Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. What the actual fuck did they mean by this? This wouldn't be a problem, except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him.

Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money. Go pirate SD Gundam G Generation Cross Rays or Gensou Shoujo Taisen E instead.
3 out of 10.

>there are people on /top/ RIGHT NOW who don't have beautiful interracial children

What the fuck is wrong with you guys?

Fellow /tg/ bros, let's use this thread to celebrate our independence of the IRC cabal-dominated smuglo.li, where dreams go to die, posts are deleted for missing a period, and transexuals bitch about racism and report the post that triggered them.

TO /top/! AND GAHOOLE!

Best TCG on the market.

What decks do you play?

THE ABSOLUTE STATE OF MTG