I had a lot in common with them in my late teens, though, although nobody had ever used the term "incel" at that time (the nearest was "shybie") and idiots like Eliot Rodger were years away (there was Columbine towards the end of that time, but the killers didn't ever describe themselves as incels and I don't believe it was finally established if they were actually socially sidelined or not). I do still read stuff about the incel (and femcel) communities although I no longer consider myself involved or sympathetic.
What breaks them?
Basically, it's that boys are still brought up being told that if they are generally good and successful then they will get end up getting married to a pretty woman, or at least someone they find attractive. The idea that they might have to do things specifically to be attractive to women - or what these things are - or that there are no guarantees so it's possible that there's nothing they can do at all, is never mentioned.
And so they grow up and get older, and they try to do as they are told and do well at school and be polite and those things, and then suddenly they realize that around them people are starting to date and take different interests in each other, and they're not part of that process, and it won't let them in. And as they move into young adulthood this becomes more and more of a problem. Parents and grandparents start to have different looks on their faces when talking about the future. If there's siblings, then maybe the parents are starting to mentioned about how they don't need to inherit the house, or indeed anything at all, because the siblings are the next generation of the family, not them. In many cities under current economic circumstances, that's a catastrophe in the making.
At the same time, the mass media and news are ramming nasty or toxic messages at them. Here on the news is "Henry", the guy from the classic article on incels, who has beaten his last four wives and then had an affair with the second while married to the fifth. See, she'd rather go back to the man who assaulted her than you. Here on the film channel is a film about a dorky guy who actually looks like a film star in glasses learning about himself then marrying a woman who looks like a film star. Here on Fox is The Simpsons, even Homer has a woman who loves him through everything, so for all the pathetic qualities Homer has, he's still being shown as better than you.
And when they go to others out
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