>>284581Me? I'd send Warwick Davis to a concentration camp. As he steps off the ramp at the train station, still shivering from the long ride in the cold (but not very cramped, for Warwick is my only prisoner) cattle cart, he will lay eyes on me, dressed in a fine uniform covered by a doctor's overcoat.
I'll order Warwick to strip down, reminding him of the fates of the seven dwarfs of Auschwitz if he doesnt't comply.
"But I made that story up," he'll bawl, "you can't honestly believe that all this happened to little people, but the family of Jewish dwarfs managed to survive none the worse for wear? It's not real!"
I smile diabolically at his use of the d-word, but deep inside I am disappointed in him for starting to break already. Nonetheless I lean in and tell him: "We can make it real."
With a snap of my fingers I command my loyal and cruel Capo Peter Dinklage to take Warwick away. The diabolical dwarf, already intimidated by his surroundings and the size of his gigantic guard is helped on his way by a series of whacks delivered to the back of his stubby legs with a cudgel I've made sure to equip my friend and confidante with.
Later that day, Peter and I will have an ecxellent dinner at a table outside the window of Warwick's barracks. There is no glass in the frame, but however much he tries, there is no escape for Warwick, as the window is at least a good 40 centimetres from the ground. As the detestable creature is forced to fight off mites for his scraps of bread crust, he is forced to smell the aroma of our dinner wafting past him and listen to our laughter.
"Another glass of wine, Peter, oldest of my friends?" I will ask and with a hearty laugh Peter accepts, handing me another plate of the finest Roast beef.
But this will be the last instance of merrymaking in the camp for a short while, for while Warwick shivers in his little shoebox at night, hoping that no hungry rodent will find him, Peter and I are hard at working preparing our guest's stay.
Early in the morning, Warwick will be awoken by Peter picking up his bed and turning it over, making sure that Warwick doesn't disappear between the floorboards. Then, the lecherous Leprechaun will be led off the campgrounds to perform backbreaking work for our amusement. We will set Warwick up to crush Rocks, pebbles to any normal sized person, and cut down trees that are closer to stalk
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